Okay, I’m gonna go all Grandma on you for this post. Picture this caricature, shaking her fist at this new generation (including parents of this generation) for a moment and bear with me.

I am worried about us not personally connecting anymore. I see people scrolling texts and sites on their phones everywhere I go, even walking down the street. The advertisements encourage this behavior, so we’ll buy more connectivity at home. No one talks to each other at home, during meals and family time, or out in the world anymore. Instead, they are addicted to “clicks and likes.”

According to many addiction counselors, a person is addicted if they are compelled to watch their phones for “clicks and likes.” They are seeking validation and a sense of reward by constantly checking for social media interactions like likes, comments, and shares, often leading to excessive time spent on those platforms. They become overly focused on gaining digital approval through these interactions.

The negative impact on mental health is the dopamine rush associated with receiving positive feedback. The dopamine reward system (neurotransmitter associated with pleasure) can lead to tolerance, much like substance addiction. The positive feedback loop encourages further engagement to seek more likes.

The desire for social validation is a key driver of this behavior, as people may feel a sense of self-worth based on the number of likes they receive. Unfortunately, excessive focus on likes can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and neglecting real-life relationships and responsibilities. 

The other addiction is called Nomophobia, or cell phone addiction. It is a behavioral addiction that can negatively impact your life. The signs for addiction can include:

You can’t stop checking your phone, even if it has a negative consequence; you experience anxiety, agitation, or disorientation when you can’t use your phone; and you neglect your responsibilities or relationships. The compulsion is fueled by games apps, and online worlds. Cell phone addiction can negatively impact your mental health, causing poor sleep quality, stress, anxiety, and depression. 

Young and older adults can benefit from pausing the social media cycle by taking a moment to turn it off. You can reduce your social media apps or put them in a folder away from your home screen. Or simply remove the apps from your home screen entirely.

When parents and grandparents give up and let their children do what they want to on their phones, sometimes an outside force makes the move to do it for them. As a result, here is what happened in our district last night. This was the news release from our local school district:

BOULDER, Colo. — The Boulder Valley School District Board (BVSD) of Education passed a no-cellphones policy for high schools Tuesday night. The policy said social media and technology are worsening student mental health and disrupting classroom learning. “This over-reliance on cellphones vs. interactions with peers is a troubling trend that is affecting the mental health of students that we serve,” Dr. Rob Anderson, BVSD superintendent, said.

So, I want to thank you BVSD for the ban on cellphones in high school during school hours. I’ve been writing to you for years to ban cellphones while kids are in school. There is no need for a kid to get so involved in the drama on their phone that they do not participate in learning the subjects they need to understand the world they’ll be living in after high school. Upping the game on learning is so important these days, and we adults forget about that, especially if we’ve had bad experiences in early education and high school. Teachers today are overwhelmed with trying to get information across when the kids aren’t focused. They get tired when they try to talk over inattentive kids listening to so much outside noise, and I understand their frustrations. I want to say thank you to all teachers who put up with all our children daily and put up with parents who won’t let the teachers do their jobs.

I want to encourage parents and grandparents to understand this outside noise addiction and create a downtime space for all kids and grandkids, and themselves. My personal routine is to turn my attention to writing and other creative matters when things are crazy on all the news stations and social media. I hope you will do the same. Tell all your friends about it and have that moment of Zen. Thank you for taking the next positive step to heal the world and the people in it.