Waxing Philosophical on Hope

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To wax philosophical means to speak thoughtfully, reflectively, or abstractly about life’s big questions.  The Verb “Wax”: Derived from the Old English word weaxan, it means to grow, expand, or increase in intensity—much like the phases of a waxing moon. Growing in Tone: When you wax philosophical, your speech or writing swells with contemplative, general, or speculative ideas

Back in the 1960s, the world was in chaos, much as we see today. And yet, we persevered and rallied over and over again. Colin Fletcher was born in 1922, grew up in England, and became a Royal Marine in WWII. After the war, he moved to Africa and took up farming and walking. He moved to California in the 1950s and continued his walking escapades. In 1963, he walked the entire Grand Canyon, and his reflections in his journals turned into the book The Man Who Walked Through Time.

Writers like Colin Fletcher gave Westerners hope that we could make a difference on this planet by rigorous physical trials and deep personal reflection in the lonely places of the Southwest. Fletcher wrote The Complete Walker (I still have Vol. 3), first published in 1968; Vol. 4, his last volume, was published in 2001. It became the bible for hikers, the first instructional guide to backpacking in the wilderness and surviving. His personal reflections in all of his books helped so many people, especially those of us who survived the Vietnam era. His writings helped me tackle the Grand Canyon with my friends in the 1980s and gave me a different perspective of the world and how I fit in.

In his will, Fletcher offered a final definition of his worldview, asking us to accept that we are the current spearhead of evolution and to behave like it. “In all our activities – religious, political, economic, personal and whatever – we should bear this fact steadfast in mind; that we can act ethically only when we do so, and that in all our acts, physical or otherwise, we should strive to work in harmony with the non-human-world, and not – as is the current and also traditional inclination – savagely, with little or no regard for the welfare of the planet’s other inhabitants, living or non-living.” https://www.colinfletcher.com/Colin_Fletcher_Home.html

For the first time in two years, we are starting to feel hope once again. The people have spoken, and somehow we will crawl out of the pit that the current administration has dug. We are all asking for changes in our Federal Government. Systems have to be repaired, and the list is long. A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook:

“It’s time to start thinking seriously about the kind of changes we want to see in our Federal Government. What legislation do we want to see passed? What systems do we want to repair to make our government more democratic? I have ideas, and I’d love to hear others. Here are a few of mine:
– End the Iran war, and go back to the nuclear agreement that was in place pre-Trump
– Reverse the massive cuts to Medicaid before they go into effect
– Medicare for all
– Invest in rural America (hospitals, broadband, community colleges and trade schools)
– Invest in better public education, to include a focus on critical thinking, and empathy
– Affordable housing legislation (much of this has to happen at the state/local level as well)
– Wealth tax, to ensure the wealthiest Americans and corporations pay their fair share, just like the rest of us do, and we can start paying down our national debt
– Strengthen worker unions through legislation
– Increase the Federal minimum wage
– Pass comprehensive immigration legislation (it’s already been written and passed by previous Democratic held House majorities – revive it and pass it)
– Get $ out of politics! Override Citizens United with a Constitutional amendment
– Pass comprehensive voter protection legislation
– Pass comprehensive anti-corruption legislation (things like banning stock trading among office-holders; banning gifts, like jets from Qatar)
– Nationwide ban on partisan gerrymandering
I could go on and on, because I have a lot more ideas, but I’d love to hear other people’s ideas!”

The list seems daunting, but I believe we have to start with ending the illegal war on Iran, tariffs, and giving people a chance to live and survive in this very expensive world created when the idiot took office. There is a sliver of hope that the new Congress can make a difference.

For me, I am focusing on one thing I can do locally. I am asking all those crazy soccer moms to think about what laws they voted on regarding trans people. I am asking them why they wanted to legislate something that is none of their business and hurts others. I am asking them why they think trans people are such a threat. I am asking them why they feel that their child is such a superstar and won’t get a scholarship because of a person’s birth gender. I am asking them to take a look at their prejudice and reflect on what they have done with these new laws. Haven’t you already abused those who are different from your child? Have you asked your children what they think about it? They accept their teammates for who they are despite all your efforts. Young people will remember your actions and will go their own direction. The young voters spoke, and things are changing with or without your permission. I have embraced everyone who understands who they are and accepts themselves. I have embraced the “You are Safe” campaign, bought some of the cool pins to put on my backpack, knitted colorful scarves, and hope those who see them know that I am not one of those grey-haired ladies who don’t see them.

The People Have Spoken. We hope this brings about change and that people become less hateful. Congress can make a difference, keeping the crazy idiot under control. A caring Congress truly helps those people who voted for them.

But as of today, hope remains. The fall weather is wonderful; the zinnias and nasturtiums are still blooming, the leaves are turning, and there’s hope for water next year with snow in the mountains. Take a walk in your woods and reflect on a better future. I love each and every one of you and appreciate your complexities!

Hard Work or Hardly Working?

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I have been thinking a lot about work ethic and how wealthy people look down upon all the rest of us, especially those who work with their hands. Yet in political ads, actors portraying the working man consistently vote for politicians who disparage the champions trying to help those who make an honest living. Let’s try to analyze these ads. We have to remember that people running for office can afford to run a campaign. All candidates take money from large corporate entities in hopes of getting elected. As voters, we have to decide which ones will be accountable and vote in Congress the way they say they will. Those who follow the current idiot in office will not listen to the majority of us who want change for the betterment of ALL, rich or poor. They will vote out of fear of retribution from you-know-who, or stay loyal to their party, believing this is the right thing to do. Democracy doesn’t work that way, folks. It’s all about the people they represent, and all of us are the PEOPLE. So vote with your conscience, not along party lines or based on how you keep your money. Help everyone survive together by listening to your heart.

But that is not all I want to say today. Some days I wake up, listen to the sounds of nature, and work in my garden. I have learned to appreciate the little things in life, maintaining a garden, cooking, baking, knitting, and writing. Some days I just try to tune out for a little while. Yet a niggling thought interrupts my peaceful moments when others who are more fortunate look down on hard workers. People in power or in moneyed positions attack basic fairness, human dignity, and the value of effort—things many people build their character and identity around. These attacks threaten my core values, and a wave of sadness overwhelms me. My core values include honesty, grit, and fairness. Watching someone dismiss a sincere effort feels like a direct insult to those principles.

I deeply value the dignity of hard work. Physical or demanding jobs, like cleaning, driving, cooking, working the land, or trade work, keep society running. Arrogant people mock us worker bees, disconnecting themselves from the real world. (After all, they have people who do those things for them, right?)

When candidates disparage hard work, it feels personal to me, and I’m sure it does to a few others out there. Most of us got where we are because the people we loved had to sacrifice, struggle, or sweat to survive or get ahead, putting their children before themselves. I have continued this tradition in my family, and I hope that my child will do the same for his family.

And let’s face it, in politics, big egos get in the way. Status is important. They want to look down on the workers out there because they need to project this image and think those who are beneath them aren’t smart enough to understand how the system works. They claim to have made it without any effort so they can feel superior to others who work hard. (Amazing when you have a lot of money to start with, right?) They are clearly out of touch because so many of them never had to work hard. They fail to comprehend the needs of the many. People who have never worked a manual, low-wage, or high-stress service job often fail to comprehend the stamina, skill, and patience it takes to complete a job. They never learn the simple tasks because others did them for them. And finally, they attack those who are educated at the best schools, even though the majority of them went to those same schools, thinking the working class will believe that education is not important, thus justifying the lack of funding to help ALL people out there.

Hard work and education go hand in hand. We all need to do our part to support others who are walking in our shoes right now. Donate this fall to worthy causes that fund daycare, local school projects, college education, stations like PBS, and food banks. If we help each other, we will all be remembered in history. That’s a personal ask, but it’s also what I ask of politicians. Enough said for today. Hope for cooler weather and rain to get us through these winter months! I love you all.

It’s Fall, Y’all!

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It’s crazy hot in the sun, but wonderful in the shade right now. I am finishing up the last of the cleanup, with whispers in my ear about a greener yard next year. Lack of water has been a nightmare this summer as we try to keep things alive and healthy. I know we are headed toward a more high-desert climate, but I’ve always wanted a little green haven in my world. So, I use the precious water in the best way I know how and let the grass go in some spots. I dig up swatches of lawn, hoping to create the look I want. I used up a lot of my neighbor’s Redstone rocks, which he gave me. They once bordered his pond and were piled up in the back of his yard. They make a nice border for the middle garden. I dug up the grass and some of the embedded rock mulch, and now I am filling it with better dirt and leaf mulch. Who knows what beauty will inspire me next year? I am thinking butterfly bushes, monarda, hellebores, and red hot pokers! The butterflies will love it They were a welcome return to the yard this year.

I’ve prepared the sunroom area garden beds for bulb planting (still too hot right now—80+ degrees today!), as well as re-creating the scalloped-edge garden where a huge willow once lived and where the new patio and gazebo currently sit. I hope for beautiful blooms in the spring.

I am also preparing to pay an arm and a leg to purchase a few more trees in the springtime for those incredibly hot areas in my yard. I am currently in love with the look of the Chestnut Oak that I’ve seen in front of the pool building at our local recreation center. I hope I can find it. I’ve been looking in my old haunts! And even if it takes the rest of my life to grow tall and majestic, I can appreciate the shade when this amazing tree finally gets bigger.

So, as we head towards the holidays and winter, I am loving life, walking in the cool fall mornings, swimming when I can, baking yummy treats for the kiddo and friends, and writing in between. The stories are there to be told; they just needed a little fall nudge for everything to come together. Enjoy each moment you have in this world. Do one good deed a day and don’t be too hard on yourself. You are who you are. Recognize that it’s your everyday actions that define your spirit, so love yourself as I love you. Happy Fall!

Riffing on a Friend’s Post and Becoming Visible

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When we like a piece of music, sometimes we can make it come alive by making it our own. We create a bigger dynamic for the song, hoping for a piece that lives in our hearts. And, like beautiful music, we can rejoice in words written by others and add a little riff to enhance the repeated message and bring our perspective to it.

In her post, Renea Winchester says that as we age, we become invisible. We sit alone when we need a friend. Most people ignore us and think we’re odd when we sit in a restaurant alone with our thoughts. Now, sometimes, that is a plan for writers (like me!) who need a place to finish a paragraph or two outside their home. But other times, it is nice when strangers sit together and talk about their lives. Sometimes you find out how connected you really are in this large world! People notice when you are having a good time together.

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, we feel alone, and it’s amazing when someone sits next to you and you start a conversation. I don’t know how many times I have connected with someone at the Rec Center, in the locker room, at the pool, or, like Renea, waiting for a table at a restaurant. In my books, I talk about spirit and the goddess driving our actions. Renea talks about her creator. I feel we are on the same page when people cross our path. We were meant to be social animals, and whatever people come our way is what it is supposed to be. We help each other by connecting and listening. After all, it’s better than talking to yourself and being judged as a crazy old lady, right?

I am asking you all today to support those who are creatives, those who write their story, people like Renea Winchester, or all those like me (including me!) who write about subjects that are important to us.

Read our books and enjoy who we are. Thanks for your continued support! My love goes out to all of you on this beautiful fall day. And thank you, Renea, for lifting my spirits! Visit her at https://blogthefarm.wordpress.com/

Keep writing and keep thriving!

Embracing Connections: Life Lessons and Fall Cleanup

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The cleanup has begun. A hint of fall is in the air. I have given away the last of my squash to the food bank and met a wonderful bunch of workers there who talk to me each time I go. One of the women volunteers even gave me advice to pass on to my kiddo, who is looking for work in his field. We had things in common and talked a while. It is strange how we connected, especially over worries about our children. Communication is always the key to life, isn’t it? You never know where it will take you.

And speaking of connections, I have been following Renea Winchester for years, a writer originally from Georgia who now lives in Appalachia in North Carolina. She is a wonderful storyteller, and her words inspire me to carry on into the next chapter in my life. Her latest book, The Mountains Remember, details the history of her ancestors who lived in the Great Smoky Mountains. Her characters are strong and resilient, rooted in her family’s history in the mountains. The home featured on the cover is now a museum in the Great Smoky Mountains State Park. I encourage you to purchase her books. It will lift your spirits in the winter months. Visit her website at https://blogthefarm.wordpress.com/ to follow her story.

So, as I prepare beds for planting the multitudes of brightly colored bulbs, hoping for a beautiful spring, I know I will be ready for what life may bring in the winter of my years. We contracted for a new, more efficient sprinkler system in the spring, hoping for a greener future. (And there is always hope for a good snowpack this year!)

As long as I have a brain that works, I’ll keep listening, making new connections, giving hope and encouragement when I can, and writing my story.

I encourage you to donate money, produce, or canned goods to the Louisville Community Food Bank on Taylor Street. https://communityfoodshare.org It is a worthy cause!

Fixed in Time

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Do you know what fixed point in time you came into your own? I recently finished reading both Firefly Lane and Fly Away by Kristin Hannah. Her characters in these books got me thinking a lot about what era I identified with, the era that made me who I am. Although my primary years were in the 1960s, I came into my own in the late 1970s and 1980s. I identified with the music, the clothes, the career, and the women in my life who changed everything. We, as a gender, began to recognize that women were just as important as men and started demanding equal rights.  

In the 1950s, women were expected to stay home and handle all domestic duties, including raising children. They were supposed to be perfect, not speak out of turn, and so many believed they deserved their station in life. In some families, love was a commodity; abuse in some households was tolerated (it was your fault, after all, right?), and children were supposed to accept what they got, their place in society, and not question any rules. Many blamed themselves for everything that went wrong in relationships. After all, so many of them married their version of their father. And that’s what the future grandchildren understood that their mothers were supposed to do, right?

The women of the 50s, 60s, and even some of the 70s had no careers, no money of their own, no property of their own, and believed in this system. They weren’t allowed to go to the same schools as men (don’t want to distract the men from their pursuits! Wow!) But then, the children rebelled. We saw through the B.S. and wanted more. We wanted independence.

My mother was a homemaker, but she worked before she had children. She was adamant that her children go to college and have a career, and I am forever grateful to her. My male cousins influenced me, and I chose my career based on what they had accomplished. Many women and men in roles as teachers and commanders in my life kept me going, even when I wanted to stop. They saw something in me that made me overcome my doubts. They never let me give up. They influenced others who scoffed at women being in predominantly male fields. They also had expectations of who I SHOULD be, which made me think deeply and create expectations of who I WANTED to be. Through their influence and guidance, I became the resilient person I am today. I continue to research and learn, ask good questions, embrace the positive, and stay informed.

And although some women of my era got through those years and stayed stagnant in their thoughts and choices, keeping their daughters afraid, other women embraced everything new, combined their knowledge of past and present, moved on to something completely different, and became mentors to younger generations.

This year has been trying, to say the least, and as we approach fall, it’s time to clean up our own backyards, love who we are, mentor younger generations, stop hate and prejudice, and stand up and be heard. No matter how much garbage news is spewed at the masses, always do the right thing. Give when you can to those in need. Protect yourself and your babies at all costs. And protect others who don’t deserve abuse and hate.

Today I ask all of you to reflect on these last few years of distress and suffering, and start changing little by little. Protect yourselves, but don’t let your daughters buy into the TRAD Wife debacle. (Look it up; it’s real and a horrible thing happening right now with younger women.) Lend a helping hand whenever you can. You never know what kind words or deeds you give out each day will help someone in need. I love you all and wish you beautiful moments each day.

The Future We Make

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Last week we took a trip to Salt Lake City to see Kiddo graduate from college! It was a beautiful day and a heartfelt ceremony. We are very proud of him and hope for a great future. It marks the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one for him. He is sad to be done with college and not getting a job right away, but he is happy to be coming home. The move was grueling in the heat, and the 9-hour drive across Wyoming was not pleasant. But in the end, he and his friend (our inherited child for now) moved into the basement, and the essentials from the boxes are slowly being unpacked. The rest, alas, rests in the sunroom for now. David gave up his basement office for the second kiddo and moved to the workout room. (The workout room is now in the sunroom!) It’s nice having two others at dinner, and they seem to like my cooking. (I draw the line on laundry, though! They’re on their own!)

Once their rooms meet their expectations, they’ll go back to pursuing job opportunities and starting their careers. They may start by working at a grocery store or in retail for a while, but they are motivated to succeed. I believe in this new generation. In my heart, I know they will succeed and do great things, despite all the hullabaloo of the ridiculous idiot who is in the highest office in the land. (Yes, you all have to admit it!)

Twenty-Five years ago, a horrifying event happened, and even though we still mourn the loss, we persevere. Through good times and bad, good people stand up to oppression and madness and help each other. My family will always be an extended one, and I’ll help those in need whenever I can, giving what I have without asking for anything in return. When we keep helping each other, our lives are enriched and give meaning to the world around us. The future we make defines us.

So, today we revere those who tried to do the right thing to help those who needed rescuing. Today, we continue to hope that this will never happen again on our soil. Today, we can rejoice for those who survived and went on to do great things in the world. Today, we must stand together against oppression and fight for all others’ rights. I love you all and hope that life brings you happiness and love for one another.

PURPOSE

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Intention, meaning, aim; Persistence, resolve; Intend, set sights on; ambition, aspiration, desire, determination, direction, function, goal, idea, objective, plan, principle, project, reason, scheme, scope, view, wish.

These last few weeks have been an awakening for me, making me realize that life is fragile and precious, but also has an end. These last few weeks, I have lost a beloved pet, a brother-in-law, and a sister.

There is always an end to the greener seasons. The lowly plants, such as grass and flowers, show us that everything dies in the heat of the day and at the end of the season. Similarly, our lives must end when winter comes and calls us to another plane of existence. It is my hope that my loved ones have gone to a place they desire for a time, and maybe come back in the spring to another, more fulfilling life, one with a meaningful purpose and one that brings hope and joy to another family.

It’s moments like these that make me contemplate the destination of my life. I ask myself: Have my dreams been fulfilled? Have all of my experiences led me to my expectations of what life has been on this timeline? Did I fulfill my mission?  Have I lived my life with intention so that I have fulfilled my purpose, or do I have much more to give? I am determined to understand why I was put on this planet and why I was a part of this family. I haven’t always been the great communicator with my family, and I have hopes they understand that didn’t mean I wasn’t a part of them. My family made me who I am. I hope they fully completed their purpose in life before the end, and I wish them well in whatever they may become in the next life.

In Michelle Obama’s book The Light We Carry, she states: “Someday we will look back at this time we’re now in. We will view it from a different historical perch… what we will make of this time, what will feel ancient…Which stories will get told? What changes will we have managed to make?”  And “We have to be able to envision what’s possible…Every latent dream awakens only when someone is glad for it.”

So I listen when family or friends reach out. I acknowledge their thoughts and our differences and love everyone for who they are at this point in their lives. Perhaps that is my ultimate purpose. Perhaps just being there when someone needs me is what I have been put on this earth for. So, like Mrs. Obama, I want to stay vigorous, humble, and empathetic, and do the best I can for others. I want to keep perspective and understand the history of my past as my present self. I want to love my family for who they are, even with our differences. I hope they can do the same for me.

Love goes out to all of you today, family, and I hope that your tomorrow will be better.

I Was Young Once

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A few days ago, I saw that Sammy Hagar was touring with his friend of 20 years (and my young infatuation), Rick Springfield. I saw that they would be playing in Colorado Springs tomorrow night.  When I was young and working for Western Electric, way back when I was in my 20s, I was at a training seminar in Denver and staying in a hotel nearby. I had my crazy Dalmatian staying with me (who kept eating things like shoes, the towels, and the bedspread!), so I had to take him outside many times during the morning and night before I was shuttled off to a training center. One evening, I was walking him outside the hotel, a van pulled up in front of the entrance, and someone shouted, “Hold that Dog!” Several men got out, and a dark-haired, handsome dude ran over and started lavishing praise and petting the dog. It was a really touching scene, and several of the guys were laughing at him, and I asked, “What are you guys, some kind of band?”

One of them said, “Don’t you know who that is? That’s Rick Springfield!” I said, okay, not having a clue. I had to go look him up afterward (in newspapers and magazines, no cell phones back then!). I then followed him the rest of his career, buying records, tapes, then CDs of his music. I didn’t get to any of his concerts, but friends told me he was a great performer, and I liked his music. So when I saw he was touring with Sammy Hagar, it was nice to know he was still doing what he does best. I looked at the pictures and was impressed that he still looked great. His bio says he eats well, works out (has ripped abs!), and is married to someone much younger (Like me!). I found out he is only 4 years older than me but is still in amazingly great shape. As for Sammy Hagar, well, you know.

So it’s hard for me to look at some of those old guys who LOOK old when I know we can all age better. When I catch myself saying, “Man, they look old!” I say, “Oh…wait, I guess I’m their age.” But every day I try to do better and stay my young self. I don’t have Legendary Abs, but I can still swim and work out the best way I know how. All I’m asking of everyone today is just to do what you can, don’t let your aches and pains get to you, and be kind to each other. We have a harsh enough environment that surrounds us. Focus on the positive aspects of your lives and celebrate others’ achievements. I love you all and hope for a better tomorrow each day I live.

RELEVANT

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Relevant: An adjective that describes something closely connected, appropriate, or pertinent to the matter at hand. It signifies a logical relationship that matters in a specific context. It implies a traceable, logical connection that brings value, context, or significance to a specific situation or topic. Common Synonyms: Pertinent-Stresses a clear and decisive relationship to the subject; Germane-Implies a precise appropriateness or fitness for the situation; Applicable-Suggests that a general principle or rule fits a particular case.

I never wanted to be mediocre. That was author Jim Harrison’s greatest fear, and he was an accomplished writer. I believe writers constantly seek information relevant to their projects or to where they are in their stage of life. We all want to be heard, yet many avoid the spotlight, whether out of fear, angst about being identified as a fraud, or simply being too shy to have others acknowledge them. Many of us become reclusive at the end of our days on this plane of existence, while others rally and reach out to shout out the injustices of the world, in an attempt to wake up those who have shut down. With a constant stream of negative media bursts, I’m not sure whether the latter is better or where I am right now in this creative soup.

I hear others complaining about the state of the world, but not taking the time to figure out ways to make it better. It’s the quiet ones who just do things for the betterment of society and take no credit that we should be thankful for. The loud ones are just that, loud and obnoxious, not doing anything to make the world a better place. And yet we listen to them because they are a constant in our media streams.

We all want to be relevant and heard, but hearing other people tell you that you are well liked, so why aren’t you here at some event or other, or needing you for some task, or statements like “Why do you worry about it so much?” doesn’t help a person’s state of mind when too much else is going on. Sometimes people just need to take a break from the world, and you have to let them just be.

It’s best to just keep admonishing yourself that you are who you are and where you are supposed to be right now. You don’t have to feel bad about it when others don’t understand. Acknowledge internally that you are important no matter what and keep on doing what you do best. You are relevant to yourself, and others may or may not acknowledge that, so you just have to be okay with it in your head.

When your favorite pet is in her last days, you try to reconcile in your mind that it is okay to let her go, that she had a good time during her lifetime, and she was loved. She was always there for you in both good and bad times. She would always meet you at the door with her tail wagging and jumping up and down for treats. She didn’t demand much of you except to be fed, let outside to go potty and do the zoomies in the yard, walked, and loved. It is heartbreaking to let the little ones go, but life still moves on.

I am at a loss right now that people in general can’t be like a beloved pet. I question why we can’t all just get along and help each other out. Why can’t we look beyond our fears and pettiness and become companions for each other unconditionally? Why can’t we get over past hurt, move on to the next phase of our lives, and create something new and wonderful? There are days when a lot of us go into that deep, dark hole of self-loathing and defeat, and a willful mind is necessary to get out of it. But there are also more days when there is hope for the future and the relevance of logic and compassion will be restored to all.

So all I’m asking for today is that each of you find your new purpose in life. You can be relevant to yourself, but be relevant to the world. Ask yourself, “Can you live with who you have become?” And, if not, “Who are you going to be in the future?” I love you all and want you to love each other with no conditions. Enjoy the moments of love and laughter each day with yourself, your friends, and loved ones.