Wishing for a Real Tamson House

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“Everybody needs a bit of a quiet space once in a while, a place they can just be themselves….”—Charles de Lint

I just finished re-reading Spiritwalk, by Charles de Lint. This was a continuation of Moonheart by him, which I also re-read. In the book, there is a wonderful, very large house, almost a castle, in Ottawa, Canada, where all can come together in their weirdness. It is magical and a home I wish I had grown up in. Tamson House was explained as a “strange sort of place…that draws people to it—but only the right kind of people. They’re the kind of people who are a little different.” De Lint goes on to describe these people who don’t quite fit in the outside world. They are the sensitive, artistic, or troubled souls who see beyond the current plane of existence and are uncomfortable in the real world. The house picks them to stay, and they become part of an evolving group who live there because their differences are the norm.

The author’s philosophy of life and how we live harmonizes with my very soul and gives me hope that there are like-minded people out there who are braving the turmoil like me. Here are a few of the points made that struck a chord not only to the depth of their characters, but to me personally:

  • “When people are born, they’re still at one with the world, but they lose that harmony as they get older.”
  • The characters believe they have gifts to give others and “help ease the aging hearts of people before they enter the winter of their lives….”
  • People tend to “…shut their eyes, their hearts, their minds to everything that’s around them….”

So, very much like these wonderful characters, I believe that people like me and those who think like me are put here on this earth “…to show people the way back, and restore harmony with the universe.

So, I say again, his characters live a life that I try to live, one of exchanging positivity, lending a helping hand, and bringing those back from the brink, letting others know that “What we are doesn’t change….” We can give in to despair, or we can lend a helping hand, lend hope, explaining that it doesn’t matter if others think we are weak or what shape we wear. If we turn our backs on what we are, loving, kind, caring people, despite everything that is thrown at us, that will be the death of us all. That is true weakness. There are sooooo many more fantastic words of wisdom in this book. I hope you check it out and support this author. He is amazing. Charles de Lint Spiritwalk

If we all have faith in ourselves and believe we can make a difference, that is the strength of a United People. There is beauty in humankind if we look for it and fight the haters. I have taken this final quote to new levels of meaning and have used it in several of my speaking engagements and publications over the years. I thank the author for putting it out there and hope he doesn’t mind my adulation. I hope you enjoy it and learn from it as much as I have:

“Inside us lies every possibility that is available to a sentient being. Every darkness, every light. It is the choices we make that decide who or what we will be [Emphasis mine].

Love each other tonight and sing praises to the Bad Bunny half-time show. A session of love!

RISE OF SELFISHNESS

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And how to overcome it as well as unbridled meanness….
Or: “There will always be someone out there who needs what you have to give.” I just read this on Facebook this morning, and it got me thinking (Oh! No!). Sometimes people are just mean, and I just don’t get it. They lash out when they are uncomfortable with a subject or person who disagrees with them. I have noticed that men and women speak differently when discussing an uncomfortable subject or when they want you to just agree with them, even if they are wrong. They just want you to believe in them no matter how you feel. It is hard for some men to listen without interrupting a conversation with a woman. Sometimes I think they just want to make their point without an argument, but, hey, if we women don’t agree with them, aren’t we allowed to argue back? In this age of the biggest bigot/misogynist in office, apparently, women aren’t allowed to ask questions and demand answers. Apparently, they are just supposed to smile and look pretty and agree with all the lies coming out of his mouth. (Thank you, Kaitlin Collins, for standing up to you know who.)

 I grew up in the South, where women were supposed to just smile and look pretty. But it was interesting to note the dynamics when the men left the room. Yeah, we were supposed to do most of the cooking and cleanup, but when we women got together, all I could say was: “Lawdy, Mercy!” Look out for what we all had to say! We had this kind of conversation where we all talked over each other, but we heard it all. And even if we disagreed, we could come to terms with it and still love the conversation. No one got too mad, and we still cared about each other in the end.

So it’s not wrong to disagree with each other, we just have to understand that we come from different mindsets. We as women tend to be helpers. And yes, sometimes we are mean to each other and selfish, but we can come to terms with it and do what’s right for our families and friends. Most of us aren’t too petty with each other. And sometimes we rise above all of it and agree on something our men say. Amazing, isn’t it? I would like for all men and women to get along, rise above petty, selfish government, and do the right thing. Mr. Rogers said it so well: “Look for the helpers. There are always people who are helping.”

My point is, this rise of selfishness wasn’t invented by the ugly, ill-tempered man in office. It’s been around a long time, and many interesting books have been written about it. One suggestion I have is a book by James Lincoln Collier, published in 1991. It is enlightening to see that this idea hasn’t gone away, even though we wish it would.
https://www.amazon.com/Selfishness-America-James-Lincoln-Collier/dp/0195052773

Andrew Carnegie believed in giving away wealth during one’s lifetime. His 1889 essay, The Gospel of Wealth, includes one of his most famous quotes: “The man who dies thus rich dies disgraced.” Carnegie’s message argues that the wealthy have a moral obligation to act as trustees of their wealth and distribute it for the public good during their lifetimes rather than hoard it or leave it behind. 
Context: Carnegie, who rose from poverty to become one of the wealthiest people in history, believed that accumulated wealth should be used to benefit society, not merely passed down or wasted.
The Philosophy: He argued that surplus wealth is a trust fund to be administered for the community, aiming to help those who will help themselves, such as through libraries and education.
Application: Carnegie lived by this creed, ultimately donating roughly 90% of his fortune ($350 million) to various philanthropic causes.
Legacy: This statement is considered a foundational document in modern philanthropy and a direct critique of selfishness. He believed that failing to use one’s wealth for the benefit of society was a profound moral failure.

Let’s hope the billionaire cult leaders take heed and do the right thing in the coming years. I love you all on this beautiful Super Bowl Sunday. Take heed, but it’s okay to have a little fun on the way!

JOYFUL AND PEACEFUL

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Despite all the hoopla, I look forward to a better week. I had a scare in the King Soopers parking lot on Friday. I was just minding my own business when a bunch of young people swarmed me, asking for donations. It seemed okay, but so many things should have set off alarms that it was a scam, and yet I still gave them my credit card. When they asked me for my phone and started poking at it, I kept asking for it back. Something must have triggered in my befuddled brain, because I kept asking them, “Is this a scam?”

They ran when a young man came up and said, “Did they get you, too? I called the police.” My friend came up to me when she saw me, so I think they knew the jig was up. They scattered, and we didn’t see where they went. We talked to the nice police officer and reported them. We got a case report, and he told all his co-workers about it. They cruised the parking lots of other businesses looking for them and told the next shift about it as well.

But I felt so ridiculous that I fell for it, and I still do three days later. Turns out they tried to charge $2,500.00 to my credit card. I immediately called the credit card company, filed a dispute, and cancelled the card. I had to cancel the card. I can’t tell you how embarrassed I was, and kept going over the scenario. I wanted to tell you my story because it could happen to you. I feel like I know a lot about these things, but when you’re surrounded by people like this, you feel rushed and overwhelmed, and you want to help. The psychological impact will haunt me forever. I still can’t believe I fell for it. One thing that helped was that the officer said we, as residents, just want to be kind and help everyone, so it can happen to any of us. It’s nice to know that we all try to help others even during these trying times.

So, I hear you out there when this happens to you. I understand how you feel now. Work with your local police, call and alert the media, and dispute all the charges if they go through. I know it is embarrassing, but you are the victim, so try to get through it. Contact all the credit bureaus and notify them. The scams will change, but just learn from your experience and don’t fall for them again. Don’t give anyone your information in a parking lot!

So, my therapy is to write about it and work on my taxes! And listening to some wonderful people who sing amazing songs. Have a joyful, peaceful day, and reach out to your loved ones today to tell them your story and also help them when you can. I send you my thoughts of peace, joy, and love to all of you! https://www.youtube.com/@gaiamusiccollective

National Curmudgeons Day

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A curmudgeon personality is characterized by a tendency to critically evaluate stimuli, with both negative- and positive-normed stimuli viewed negatively (negative dispositional attitudes). Curmudgeons see positive- and negative-emotion qualities, and evidently in the same attitude object, but they weigh qualities to avoid higher than qualities to approach. Excerpt from: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886915301148

Today is National Curmudgeons Day! We have become what we’re celebrating, but it’s okay if we embrace it and try to dig out of the sadness!

Among other things celebrated today are:
Puzzle Day
Corn Chip Day
Seeing Eye Dog Day
Freethinkers Day

I am just grateful to still be here after this crazy month! I hope I’m not the doom-and-gloom curmudgeon some of my relatives and friends are, but I have a tendency to go down that road more often than I’d like to. I am, however, forced to be in the world of technology, so I don’t grouse (too much) about all of that (I definitely don’t go back to that crutch: Well, in the old days…. We are certainly back in the old days right now, so come on, folks! Even at my lowest point lately, I know things are changing, and we should not wish to return to the past. So, I implore you all to embrace the future in a positive way, one that doesn’t involve the madness we have right now. Phew!

But of course, this got me thinking about the last one: Freethinkers Day:

Fast Andy or POTUS and Past Lives episode (The Rookie, Season 8, Episode 2). In this episode, the president comes to Los Angeles, and of course, the local police have to work with the Secret Service and other Federal agencies to get the president safely through their town. There is a perceived assassination threat, and havoc ensues. Turns out, one of Nolan’s rookies, Selena, who understands things that are not quite of this world, especially past lives, is paired up with a secret service agent who believes he is the secret service man who failed to protect Lincoln, and he was reincarnated to be the agent who protects the current president. The interesting takeaway from this scenario is that, although Selena understands there are many layers to this world, not everyone is reincarnated as a famous person. We may be a product of our family’s history, but we weren’t all famous.

So this led me down the path of what a Free Thinker really entails, and what is real?
In my mind, the connection to this current drama brought back the 1990s SNL: Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts and his obsurdacles (my word for it). It helped me understand that those Deep Thoughts are what some people come up with when faced with real facts.

It also made me return to all of the old fantasies about a world beyond what we see every day. You know, what some people call the woo-woo stuff, such as in the fantasy books of Charles de Lint, a Canadian fantasy author. I once connected and felt the energies beyond the so-called natural world. Re-reading his books made me think about what else is out there and how I can tap back into this energy and help others who are struggling. His novels about the old ways speak a profound message if you take the time to think. Whether we believe it is real doesn’t make it less real. We should all try to understand others’ thoughts about the origin of our reality and where we go when we leave this plane of existence. The new gods don’t allow us to explore meanings beyond the dogma and message of doom being poured out to the masses. We have a choice in what we do with our lives. We can take a chance and speak out and defy fear. We have a choice to be those Free Thinkers who sort through all the materials and come up with solutions that make sense. We can choose to reject ridiculous explanations for wrongdoing when we see it with our own eyes. We have a choice to do the right thing every day of our lives. And, if it comes to it where we are in harm’s way to protect others, that is the right choice. That is what we need to do.

So, as we age, I hope we all become wiser people and surpass our parents’ wisdom. I hope we reach out and connect with others to solve the devastating problems that are ongoing, and not put our heads back in the sand or under a blanket, hoping it will be better tomorrow. I hope each day we reach out to those in need and embrace the consequences of our actions, without fear of retribution from the crazies. Let’s all try not to become a curmudgeon this day. Let’s all work on positivity!

And, so what if you burst into the “Gopher Guts” song in mid-afternoon because it popped into your head and made you laugh? (I know you know it!) It’s a mechanism to keep your sanity in this world of denial and chaos. Go ahead, sing along! You’ll be happy you did! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR1ajf5Yh7w

I love you all and stay warm and cozy!

WRITE YOUR GOVERNOR!

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Response to Yesterday’s Post:
A friend of mine asked me what we can do as individuals. Here are four things I know every citizen of this state can do right now. Write Governor Polis (NOT EMAIL, AN ACTUAL LETTER) and let him know they should be preparing for any invasion by the masked secret police of the Federal Government, as other blue-state governors are preparing as we speak. Ask Governor Polis to check in with other governors who have created tabletop exercise scenarios, as Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro said when he was on Stephen Colbert. Ask him to be actively prepared to call in the State branch of the National Guard to help protect the people in a peaceful way, as Minnesota Governor Tim Walz did. Or walk the streets and take a tour WITH CAMERAS to show how quiet they were, as Illinois Governor J B Pritzker did when they invaded Chicago. And there’s always Gavin Newsome of California to give him advice on how to sue the Federal government, among other things. https://calmatters.org/politics/2026/01/democrats-immigration-legislation/

Encourage Governor Polis to just network and ask for help. If he has, great! We know we have a governor who cares.

Governor Jared Polis’ Office:
Front Desk: (303) 866-2471
State Capitol Building
200 E. Colfax Ave.,136
Denver, CO 80203
Email the Governor: Governorpolis@state.co.us

Check in with Colorado Rapid Response Network at:
https://coloradorapidresponsenetwork.com/
1-844-864-8341 FOR LIVE UPDATES

DONATE! A quick AI search yielded the following:
Donating to these organizations helps provide legal counsel to those facing deportation who otherwise would not have access to an attorney.
To help with legal fees for immigrants in Colorado facing ICE action, you can donate to the:
Colorado Immigrant Justice Fund, which covers legal representation for detained individuals, or the Denver Immigrant Legal Services Fund. Other key organizations include the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition (for legal defense and advocacy) and the Justice and Mercy Legal Aid Center. 
Here are specific organizations accepting donations for legal aid:
Colorado Immigrant Justice Fund (CIJF): Focuses on providing legal representation for detained immigrants, significantly increasing their chances of fighting deportation.
Denver Immigrant Legal Services Fund: Managed by The Denver Foundation, this fund provides grants for legal services to immigrants in Denver facing removal proceedings.
Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition (CIRC): Operates the Immigrant Legal Defense Fund to support legal services for Coloradans in deportation proceedings.
Justice and Mercy Legal Aid Center (JAMLAC): Provides legal services to low-income individuals, including immigrants.
Immigrant Legal Resource Center (ILRC): A national organization working with local, Colorado-based groups. 
Additional Support Channels:
Newcomers Fund: Managed by the Rose Community Foundation, this fund supports non-profits helping migrants with various needs, including work authorization fees. 

And finally, get out in the streets and keep doing what you do best! Raise the alarm! Remember, even if we think it is only about immigrants, it’s truly more than that. No one should get killed for standing up for their rights! Love goes out to all of you who are BRAVE!

DON’T GIVE UP!

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Sycophant: A person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain an advantage. AKA: toady, crawler, fawner, flatterer, flunkey, truckler, groveler, doormat, lickspittle, kow-tower, obsequious person, minion, hanger-on, leech, puppet, spaniel, bootlicker, yes-man, brown-nose, suck-up

Last night, Governor Josh Shapiro from Pennsylvania was featured on Stephen Colbert’s Late Show. His comments about our illustrious Vice-President and all of those who serve under that nasty man in office were simply to stop sucking up to you know who. Stop being afraid to uphold the law. No one is above the law, especially if they shoot and kill innocents. He implored members of Congress to stop the overreach and stop funding ICE operations in the States. We are all being victimized by this current administration and this unjust rule. So, I’m sending out a plea to all of you who are cowering in your foxholes:

Crawl out of your warm cocoon of blankets and pay attention. Don’t shut out the news. Keep informed. Help those who were shot and killed in our states by the secret, masked police. Write your congressmen and ask them to de-fund ICE. The untrained masked bandits are the enemy, not the people who are being persecuted in the streets. And write those in power in all of those Red States. Remind them that it could happen to them. Break away from the cult! And to all of you out there who still believe in the madness: Keep in mind that it could happen to ANY ONE OF US who doesn’t agree with the current regime. My state has been invaded by an illegal, so-called government agency in the past and in the present. It can happen again and again if we continue to believe in that crazy man. It is not just happening to the brown people. It’s happening to all of us! So many lies are being spread about the peaceful protesters. They are NOT domestic terrorists. They are simply people who want to have their say about what is happening in their states. They are not afraid. They don’t want to die. But they believe in living their lives without oppression.

I know it’s hard, but we have to stay informed AND involved. Every time I hear someone say, “I don’t watch the news,” or “I can’t read about it anymore!” alarms me. Isn’t that what happened to us many years ago? Isn’t that what we fought about: FREEDOM of speech and FREEDOM to live our lives in very loud ways?

So, sing out loud about it to your friends and neighbors. Write about it. Don’t be SAD about it. BE BRAVE! React, react, react, in ways that have meaning. And for goodness ‘ sake: DON’T GIVE UP! Enough said.

I love you all and send out many, many condolences to those who have been affected for simply being in the streets and trying to make a difference in peaceful ways!

Communications and a B.S. Meter

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Last week, I grieved deeply for what is happening in the world today, and for the poor reporting given as to why this is happening. That crazy idiot in the highest office in the land has no remorse and doesn’t care about anyone else. Whether he admits it publicly, he is responsible for the nine shootings that his secret police have committed. No amount of spin put out there in the media by him or his minions can deny that NINE people are dead because of his people. His petty vendetta against people who are AGAINST him has got to stop. It is a sad day when all the states have to pull out their law enforcement and soldiers to keep the federal soldiers out of their state.

What is worrying me right now is the fact that we are either completely tuning out because the media is lying, or that we are feeling ineffective about what is happening, or are simply afraid to come out against this regime. Is it because we will get picked up and whisked away, or shot on sight? Have we thought about what NOT speaking up means in the long term? Will more killings make it better? I am pleading for everyone to come together, regardless of your political beliefs, and unite to stop this nonsense. Don’t believe everything that is being said in the media. Find out for yourself what is actually happening.

We are strong when we unite, whether we are dressed in the latest fashion or wearing soft sweatpants. We won’t be dismissed if we continue to stand up to these bullies, even if it means taking abuse. Yes, I fear the shootings, but I also fear that we are losing the battle. I am asking all of you to attend meetings and ask good questions about why your representatives aren’t representing you. I am asking all of you to protest in any way you can and to work together to do the right thing. I am asking our government to stand down to the oppression of the people. Enough said.

And please read this article!
“If you want to guarantee success against authoritarianism, there is one more thing you must do: You must grow until at least 3.5% of the population is out in the streets protesting.
That is the 3.5% rule. Along with all the other criteria, if you manage to get that 3.5% of the country out in the streets with you, the historical data suggests your movement will win.”
-Rachel Maddow, Maddow Blog | ‘3.5% rule’: The anti-Trump movement is nearing an important threshold.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/maddow-blog-3-5-rule-the-anti-trump-movement-is-nearing-an-important-threshold/ar-AA1OUzrV

And by the way, we have that 3.5% right now!

I love you all and am thinking about you every day. Love each other in the same way!

Return to the Cycle of 365 Days of Kindness

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So, I didn’t quite meet my goal of writing 365 blog posts over the last year, but I am returning to it all the same, in hopes of continuing the conversation into the new year. Today will be my 212th post since November 2024. I thought writing something every day was a worthy goal, but alas, life gets in the way, and other writing takes precedence. So, in moments of downtime, I would like to attempt this once again.

I have been thinking about the past once again and where we are today. I have a huge notebook full of notes and thoughts on my family and friends that will lead me towards the path of the next book. Many years ago, I thought the first book would be called Different Drummer because, hey, that is the path I took. But there are many, many, worthy books with that title, so I am working on it. I do have some great story ideas and family memories. I also have great stories from others, which I hope to present in my writing as well, in the best possible way.

Researching the past has led me to contemplate my time trekking the hills and valleys throughout my life. I know there were many roads not taken and many more miles to go before I can get a good night’s sleep. (I know, Robert Frost is turning over in his grave!) But I realized I sidestepped pathways that needed to be taken, ones that kept coming back to me over and over, and yet I kept returning to them. Once I faced (most of) those insurmountable hills and valleys, I  moved on to the next phase of my life. I have stopped dreaming about all the ‘what ifs’ (most of them) and made a new dream come true. But that’s the point of life, isn’t it? We face new challenges each day and move on to teach others how to do the same. I am still thinking about the next book title and where I will go. Writing about it always leads the way.

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.”
—Henry David Thoreau

“You and I travel to the beat of a different drum
Oh, can’t you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me.
….You can’t see the forest for the trees
Yes, and I ain’t sayin’ you ain’t pretty
All I’m saying’s I’m not ready for any person
Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me….”
Stone Poneys – Linda Ronstadt version
Songwriter: Michael Nesmith

Thanks to all who support my crazy writing career and read the books I have created so far.

Loving you all and wishing for snow tonight! Stay safe out there! See you at the Rec!

Happy New Year—Hitting the Reset Button

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Okay, so it took me five days to write my New Year’s Blog, but HEY! I have a lot going on right now!

Between kiddo being home, Christmas and New Year’s meal preparations with a bum right thumb, doctor’s appointments, and the general hullabaloo of the holidays, I feel myself lucky that I am sane right now! But I digress. We had a wonderful time, and it was nice to celebrate without thinking about “what things may become” in the future. Now that I have put the grown (21!) baby back on the plane and he is back at college, I have a lot to do this month!

So I tackled the chores in my frenzied Cleaning, Cleaning, Cleaning phase (always after the new year, it seems.) I always feel as if I can get rid of stuff I haven’t used in a hundred years (or since we got married—how many of you remember all those crazy wedding gifts from twenty+ or thirty+ years ago?), then the old mantra, Clean House, Clear Mind, will ring true.

First, I tackled the paper shredding affair. Ugh! What a task. (Everyone who does this understands what I am saying.) I shredded two years’ worth of old tax documents dating back to 2017 and then had to pack it into two big bags for disposal. Then, I had to clean up the floor. Sheesh!

Then I went through the office closet and found way more stuff to give away, such as a zillion children’s puzzles. I am taking them to the rec center for summer camp, 2026!

Then came the kitchen. Since we have such a small kitchen, I went through the pantry and the shelves, cleaned them out, and put on new shelf paper.  I found yet more gadgets that I hadn’t used since the beginning of time (or when we bought them). I’m removing them from the pantry and storing the ice cream maker, popcorn popper, and snow cone machine for the kiddo to see if he’ll take them away when he gets his own place. If now, well, ARC here I come!!!!

We’ll finally tackle taking down the tree, putting away the Christmas decorations, and putting away the Lego Village this weekend. I’ll have my living space back! Yes!

So, with a wonderful old-fashioned Tea Cake Recipe from the past (Thanks, Jo!), I’ll relive my Grandma’s love, and make them this week (after the Frenzied Exercise startup, of course!).

So here’s to singing in the new year, and creating Mantras (NOT RESOLUTIONS!) to do better, be better, and help others. It’s all inside of you!

I completed the updates to both Silver Element and Silver Storm (new cover in progress), so the refresh/reprint is online as well as the third book, Silver Lore! Hope you purchase and read them, and have a blast with the stories!! https://www.amazon.com/stores/Drusilla-M.-Tieben/author/B00ET98OVA

I also want to share an email from a friend on New Year’s Day:
“Hi Friends! I woke up this morning dreaming about our meditation group. I was saying that meditation is not about adding something- but uncovering what is already there- your beautiful, soulful self. Keep uncovering your best, loving self in this New Year.”—Stephen Wurzel
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet (Act 4, Scene 5).

So have a great start to the new year. Love each other every day and help those in need! I love you all and can’t wait to see you or meet you!

Home for the Holidays

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I have returned to a book I have loved and found more wisdom to share. I am re-reading parts of David Brooks’ book, How to Know a Person, published in 2023. Christmas is here, and communication is the key not only to staying connected to your family but also to staying in touch with the world. His insights about how to actually communicate with people have helped me get through some interesting times. For example:

“I learned something profound along the way. Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 7-8). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And:
“There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others and to yourself [Emphasis mine]. Human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water. No crueler punishment can be devised than not to see someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 9). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And finally:
“Many of our big national problems arise from the fraying of our social fabric. If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well.” [Emphasis mine.] [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 12). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

“Big questions interrupt the daily routines people fall into and prompt them to step back and see their life from a distance. Here are some of my favorite questions that do that:
‘What crossroads are you at?’
‘What would you do if you weren’t afraid?’
‘If you died tonight, what would you regret not doing?’
‘If we meet a year from now, what will we be celebrating?’
‘If the next five years are a chapter in your life, what is that chapter about?’
‘Can you be yourself where you are and still fit in?’” [Emphasis mine.]  [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 90-91). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

So to put it mildly, think about open-ended conversations that keep people engaged. Have fun listening to others, only pausing them if they get too wrapped up in their B.S. Ask them to move on without either of you getting angry. Try to find a happy solution to differences, and be at peace with the fact that no one will share your every opinion.

I encourage you to read David Brooks and learn something new. Emanate love to all those surrounding you this holiday season. Keep your fun traditions (Lego Villages and baking cookies!) and shed all those that bring you sadness. Sing joyously with the Christmas CDs (or Spotify! Or wherever you get your music!). Enjoy the baking, the loving moments, and the memories you share with your family and friends.

AND Don’t forget to buy my book, available instantly on Amazon (ebook version). for a terrific present! Thanks to all of you who support my work!

I love you all on this crazy Colorado night. Hoping for no power outages, insane wind, and maybe even a little moisture! Have a terrific holiday season, and if I don’t write until the new year, be at peace with me and my messages, with yourself and others for a little while.