REVERENT

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Reverent: An adjective that means showing profound respect, awe, or veneration. It describes a humble, serious attitude of deep admiration—often bordering on worship—toward a religious deity, a person, or something held as sacred. Synonyms: Respectful, devout, admiring, and venerating.

I’ve been thinking lately about the things I hold dear to my heart and how I revere them. In my case, it’s not about anything religious but about an appreciation of things from my past, such as books and the authors who wrote them, an amazing building such as the Obama Center and the root of the Obama Foundation, and all of his family and people whom I respect, a beautiful piece of art or music, a beautiful landscape, incredible night skies as viewed from the heights of the Colorado Rockies, or simply a well-designed old-fashioned filing system.

1.  I used to lend books from my personal library to friends. I learned that most people considered these works expendable rather than treasured pieces of my collection. When I didn’t receive some of the out-of-print works back, I stopped lending them. I had to research thrift stores to find the ones I’d lost. I found most of them, but I no longer lend books. These are treasures I revere, and most people don’t understand the adventures I return to when I reread them. Hopefully, the ones I’ve kept will help my offspring revisit the lands I went to in the past.

This is an AI compilation of what some of the great writers write about the meaning of reverence: The concept of reverence spans philosophy, theology, and nature. The most prominent authors who have explored reverence across different disciplines include:

  • Paul Woodruff: A philosopher and classicist whose book, Reverence: Renewing a Forgotten Virtue (2001), is widely considered the defining modern text on the subject. He defines reverence as the virtue that keeps us from overreaching and helps us recognize human limitations in the face of the unknown, truth, and nature.
  • Albert Schweitzer: Nobel Peace Prize-winning theologian and humanitarian who originated the famous ethical principle of “Reverence for Life”. His philosophy demands universal compassion and respect for all living things.
  • Mary Oliver & Wendell Berry: Renowned poets and essayists who frequently write on the intersection of nature, humanity, and the sacred, urging a reverent approach to the natural world.
  • Paul Nicklen: A celebrated wildlife photographer and conservationist whose visual and written works (such as Reverence) cultivate a deep awe and respect for polar ecosystems and the wild planet.
  • Eric Sloane: Author and artist known for A Reverence for Wood, which explores the historical, spiritual, and physical relationship early North American settlers had with timber.

For more quotes, visit the Daily Good website. I was particularly blown away by Paul Woodruff’s insight on leadership, and Wendell Berry’s thoughts about the future: Why Reverence Matters

2.  Looking at what the Obamas have accomplished with their Foundation and the Obama Center makes me humble in my accomplishments. To have something as wonderful as they have created makes me want to work harder to explore the universe and help others gain a sense of the world beyond themselves. It makes me want to read more, write more, and share my views with all the young people who will take over the world someday. I want to visit the Center someday and revel in the world of art, music, and learning about their accomplishments firsthand. I hope every large city can create something wonderful like this for ALL people to enjoy, not just the privileged few.

3.  When I view beautiful works of art, particularly current studies of people or places, I cry. The talent these folks show always amazes me, and I am in awe of their accomplishments. I could never duplicate their skill, so I don’t try. Instead, my creative efforts go into writing about people who do these things. My characters are composites of people I know, and their fictional talents are drawn from real artists’ accomplishments. Writing is an art as well, and we should revere all those who create in their own ways.

4. The same reverence holds true for great music. I’m not talking about just the classics but about people who choose to make a joyful noise no matter their talent. The effort to improve oneself through music brings harmony. When my aunt and uncle took me to my first concert at a local high school, I felt so privileged to dress up in my finest clothes and patent-leather shoes. For such a little kid, I was still in my heart for a little while, listening to the sound of harmony. I cried at the beautiful sounds the orchestra made, even though they didn’t understand why I was crying. It impacted me for the rest of my life. I joined the band, and later a choir. Today, when I go to concerts, I feel the same, and my life is better for having heard great artists. It’s hard to explain that feeling, but I know others have it in them when I see their faces. They get it.

5. When I first came out to Colorado, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the mountains and the incredible landscape, the heights of the mountains and the great expanse of blue sky during the day, and the stars and planets shining down on us at night. It was so different from where I grew up. And, when I went camping in my early years, away from any night glow of civilization, I was immersed in the beauty of the world outside this earth. The night skies spoke to me about places we might explore someday. This beauty is what we should hold onto and keep the hope alive for a better tomorrow. This is the world we should hold in reverence.

6.  Finally, I am so grateful for growing up in the times I did. I have enormous respect for librarians and record-keepers who enriched my life. There is nothing more beautiful than going into the library for the first time when you are a kid, seeing the vast landscape of books, and looking forward to the adventure held in each book you check out. The librarians were my friends, and it was a safe place for a nerdy kid to hang out and just be herself. And although bookstores would become my next-best friends over the years, I still appreciate the librarians who taught me a lot about life. The libraries were places where I learned about the catalog files, at the time a low-tech (or no-tech), but well-designed, old-fashioned filing system. Organization and research became ingrained in my blood. Record-keepers became my gods and goddesses, and they taught me the value of maintaining and retrieving things. I loved the orderliness, and it helped me later when the computer kids helped me create an online data system for research and crime-analysis files. I still use these manual record-keeping systems today, and organize my computer files in a similar way.

So, as I age, I reflect on my learning roots and appreciate those who started it all, those librarians and file clerks who shaped me. I understand their protective nature and how they felt when kids wouldn’t respect the rules, making their world more complicated. I liked working with the librarians. I liked filing. I revel in the joy of organizing and researching even to this day. It helps my brain make order in the universe. (I would have been a great librarian in the Library of Congress!)

I understand that when people touch my personal stuff, I want them to see me and how I see the world. I want them to respect those things I hold dear and revere them as I do. In conclusion, I guess I am a personification of all of those librarians and organizers of the world when it comes right down to it. The system is necessary to preserve the past. What we revere will survive in this world of chaos. So, thank you, wonderful people, for keeping our learning centers alive. Thank you, President and Mrs. Obama, for creating a beautiful library and museum. Words and art matter. Let’s preserve them the best way we know how. I love you all and hope you are safe and comfortable tonight.

Know What You Are Facing and Find Your Battle Buddies

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N.K. Jemisin, Paul Trembley,  Andy Weir, Veronica Roth, and Amor Towles were each asked to write a short story for a collection by renowned figures in Science Fiction during the pandemic. A screenwriter and author, Blake Crouch, last known to be living in Durango, Colorado, was driving through the Rocky Mountains with his partner, debating the topic of growing up in the “bubble of rapid change in technological advancement. He felt that much of the advancement had been amazing, but some of it needed to be rolled back because of its negative effects. He also posed the question of whether we would ever know where the discovery would lead us and, if we had to stop it, whether we could. And how would it feel to change the world? Would our world become a better place? This collection of six stories (including one by Crouch) is phenomenal, and most of the writers have moved on to newer and wonderful projects (e.g., books and movies, including The Martian, Project Hail Mary, and A Gentleman in Moscow, to name a few).

Since the first six of the Far Reach novellas were written, six more authors have written a new set, and I have read them all. Each tale speaks of a society like the one we have today and how we can cope with expanding into the unknown universe to make our lives better on Earth in the long-run. The books touch on subjects that help us understand that we are just a speck in time and space, and life will change no matter how we try to stay in the past.

I often search for connection in my current world of solitude and find others doing the same. We lack connection because we are so stuck in our individual lives. We aren’t getting what we need out of the constant streaming of bits and pieces of doom and gloom. So, I have to sit back, reflect on what is really important in my life, and concentrate on what is next. And yet I still need that connection with another human, so I keep searching. Gardening and writing sustain my spirit, but sometimes you just need to bounce back into that maelstrom of human interaction.

I recently looked into the 10-10-10 Rule, developed by author and speaker Suzy Welch. She developed a decision-making framework used to overcome short-term emotional responses by evaluating the consequences of a choice across three time frames: 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. When facing a difficult or emotionally charged decision, she recommended that you slow down and ask yourself the following three questions before taking action: 

  • 10 minutes: How will I feel about this choice in 10 minutes? (Focuses on immediate, often emotional reactions.)
  • 10 months: How will I feel about this choice in 10 months? (Focuses on the mid-term consequences and adjustments.)
  • 10 years: How will I feel about this choice in 10 years? (Focuses on the long-term impact on your overall life goals.)

Welch stated that most regret comes from making a decision based solely on how it feels in the immediate short term. By zooming out and looking at the bigger picture, you can stop impulsive reactions and ensure that your choices align with your core values and long-term trajectory. In other words, you can focus on how to get out of a spiral of despair.

If you focus on the good and future possibilities instead of what is happening daily in your life right now, you can get away from this moment in time. Unless time travel is real, you can’t change the past, but you can walk into your future with courage.

If you can take your current situation and surround yourself with what author and speaker Alli Worthington terms your battle buddies, you will get through your disappointment and come out stronger and wiser on the other side. She stated that “We weren’t created to go it alone anywhere in life. When you are in the deep valley of disappointment, reach out to your battle buddies, those few friends who have proven they genuinely care for you.” And “Your battle buddies will not only validate the pain of your disappointment, but they will also care enough to lock arms with you and drag you out of that pit….They’ll help you find perspective and walk with you as you battle to overcome your disappointment.” And, finally, “Finding a battle buddy is a great way to remember you aren’t alone. When you feel like someone else is in it with you, it’s easier to remember you have the power to overcome your disappointment.”

So, no matter what you believe or how horrible the state of the Union is right now, know you can rely on your buddies to get through it. Know that you can still do some good things and pay it forward every day. Know that you are worthy and stay positive!

I love you all and hope for a better tomorrow every day that I am alive!

DOING

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I had lunch with a friend a while ago, and we are both in the process of creating memoirs. It was nice to touch base with someone who has had an incredible and interesting life, has loads of journals, notes, and stacks of pictures and papers to sort through (like me), so she can just get to the point of putting it together on the computer.

When I think of all the things that I have done, I feel humbled at what she has accomplished. Her book should be enlightening, to say the least, and I will be able to follow her path in a few years, entering the further chapters of my life, sorting through memories, traveling, and having the next great adventure, going to places I have dreamed about, learning new things, and meeting new people. I look forward to reading about where she was from and where her travels took her.

We laughed about being the “doers” in our families, taking on tasks no one else wanted and excelling at them. We mocked those who weren’t willing to try new things or even do what needed to be done. We agreed that we didn’t want to be the leaders, yet somehow our doing the jobs that needed doing made us become one.

We commiserated about those who refuse to get out of their ruts and won’t learn anything new. They have stagnated into obscurity and dislike others who have moved on. She encouraged me to move on, forgive, and forget those people. They won’t change unless they want to do something new and invigorating with their senior years.

We agonized over those people who have shut out their human side, not caring for others who have less or are different from them, instead condemning them and never stepping up to help.

We discussed at length how we define ourselves, and how our past affected us. We posed questions about how our past might define us, how we might overcome some of the trials that have scarred us, and how we might move on to accept that our present actions are now defining us.

Finally, we noticed that our active listening gave us insight into each other and into how we might teach others to do the same. People who don’t listen are a pet peeve of mine, and I realize how important it is for others to sit down and breathe so we can communicate in a positive, rational way and learn something new about each other and the world.

And finally, we agreed that some people are, to put it bluntly, lazy. Hard work is hard. It’s also hard to do the work. It’s hard to understand the world, and you have to dig for facts, not just believe insane sound bites. It’s important to read and study every day you are in this world, making reality out of nonsense. Family is important, and sometimes you just have to create your own family. Some of us don’t have blood relations that speak to us, because we are so different. So, my advice is to embrace the family and community you create.

The biggest lesson I learned from her was that I need to let things go and accept that other people have issues far bigger than mine, but still need someone to blame. How to dive deeper and figure out the WHY their behavior still bothers me greatly, but I guess that’s one of the things I also need to let go of.

So my advice to you all today is to live your life fully and in the moment. Don’t procrastinate. Do the things that need to be done, even if you don’t want to. Grow something beautiful. Make something tasty out of what you grow, feed others when you can, and embrace happiness. You may not live long enough for the world to change for the better, so make your own world better, and make your happiness when you can.

In the few days before summer is truly announced to the world (the summer solstice), love where you are in this moment of time.  Love the summer as much as I do and get out and dig! Love each other as much as I love you all.

WORDS MATTER

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“Even the little ones. The little ones matter the most, in fact. All the most powerful words are brief.”—Jim Butcher, Twelve Months

I am reading the final edition of The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. His beautifully crafted and funny novels have moved me for over 26 years. His creative mind gave me solace throughout my years of extraordinary life changes. His world allowed me to escape for a little while, and his personal life’s ups and downs gave his words meaning. They mattered to me. And although the world he created was in Chicago, his moving to Colorado a few years back is reflected in this final battle to save humanity and live a decent life with his family.

I am impressed by writers who stick to a story this long. It took me longer to write the trilogy than it did him to write his 18-book series.  Writers like him and others who create worlds with their wonderful words inspired me to create my own story and battles of heroes and critters from out of this world. I appreciate his writing more than he’ll ever know. Thank you, Jim Butcher, for continuing your saga and now supporting your son in his endeavors. So cool!

Main Novel List (In Order):

  1. Storm Front (2000)
  2. Fool Moon (2001)
  3. Grave Peril (2001)
  4. Summer Knight (2002)
  5. Death Masks (2003)
  6. Blood Rites (2004)
  7. Dead Beat (2005)
  8. Proven Guilty (2006)
  9. White Night (2007)
  10. Small Favor (2008)
  11. Turn Coat (2009)
  12. Changes (2010)
  13. Ghost Story (2011)
  14. Cold Days (2012)
  15. Skin Game (2014)
  16. Peace Talks (2020)
  17. Battle Ground (2020)
  18. Twelve Months (2026) 

Isn’t that the most important thing in life? To keep your family safe from the throes of mass destruction? In today’s trying times, it’s necessary to return to the concept of safety while creating a story of meaningful acts through positive words. That kind of atmosphere in our neighborhoods will ensure that everyone is protected from chaos, regardless of their skin color. They are your neighbors. Protect them. If we stick together, we can overcome anything, including the madness happening because of those madmen in power. Words matter. Kind words matter even more.

And continue to read, read, read good books. Don’t be swayed by the easy way out of streaming media that’s negative and takes you down the doomsday path. Read classics, read fiction, read good non-fiction. Your life should be full of great novels and promising new authors. I have many favorites, but Jim wisely said, “You can’t pick a favorite…they’re books. They’re pieces of someone’s mind and soul. They’re almost friends.”—Jim Butcher, Twelve Months

So, don’t forget to set aside a time to read every day. And if you’re looking for a fun escape, feel free to purchase and delve into my Caitlin Ferguson mysteries and the Silver Ranger Mini-Series available on Amazon during Spring Break. Thanks for your support! Drusilla Tieben author page.

I love you all on this wild and windy day! Hope and Spring are in the air!

LIFE PLANS

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Or: The Fortress of Solitude
“The secret of a good old age is simply an honorable pact with solitude.” —Gabriel García Márquez
“The voices may propel you to warble along, or to dance, they may inspire you to seduction or insurrection or introspection or merely to watching a little less television…”—Jonathan Lethem,The Fortress of Solitude

I was thinking about what a person does with the rest of their days when they retire and/or a loved one passes. Growing up in the 60s and 70s brings back “youthful, isolated memories” [Jonathan Lethem] in my search for people I can connect with today. In my younger days, I had a plethora of cousins and school pals to “hang out” with. As I moved on to college, I made friends in class, at work, and at bars we frequented. When I went off to work in the “real world,” I found family in law enforcement. We were a band of brothers and sisters fighting the good fight. We were a tight-knit group who took care of each other. When I took my adventure out west, I met some amazing people along the way. We bonded and kept in touch for a while. I had work colleagues, law enforcement family, hikers, and martial arts buddies, yet another family. And then the kiddo came along, and I had 18 years of non-stop on the go, doing everything surrounding raising that boy of mine. Friends were a different crowd, and it all centered on doing my best to make his world safe, fun, and productive.

And then kiddo grew up, moved off to college, and he needed less help from us. So, I decided to “retire” and create my world at home, with a million tasks, hobbies, writing, and all the things I wanted to do on my own. I had to seek out new contacts or be content with my headspace alone. Some days I am fine. Other days, I isolate myself, and my mind is filled with “what ifs.”

Isolation makes us motionless to reach out to others. There is a difference between isolation and Solitude. We can choose both, but we need to decide what is best for us and how to balance that alone time. Sometimes we need a quiet space for our minds to reflect and create, so we choose to isolate ourselves and create moments of solitude.
“​​Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s [a person’s] being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone.  And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.” Paul Tillich

But sometimes we need to reach out and join with others to get moving in our bodies so our minds can rest and recover from thoughts we dwell upon. And, if the physical body cooperates, I have an action plan. There are certain limits to my activities outside the home. Driving with limited vision has put a damper in late night adventures. So, I seek out daytime workouts, friendships, and get-togethers. And volunteer groups can be tricky. All of us have been in charge of something or someone our entire lives. We have to be willing to let go of that and participate as a NOOB when we start something new. We bring our skill set and volunteer it to others. We have to be content with the fact that not everyone is like us and try to blend into the atmosphere. We have to learn (yes, me too!) to be happy with chaos if you are prepared to join a group and aren’t the leader. And we have to understand that not everyone organizes like us as individuals (yes, me too!). That seems to be the most difficult task to belong to something bigger than you.

 Organize your life and let it go (this is very, very hard) if you can. Be happy in the moment and participate in life’s mysteries. You grew up with wonder, so try to maintain that as you age. For further information on embracing solitude and aloneness, see:
https://www.success.com/quotes-about-solitude-and-being-alone\
and:
https://www.success.com/magazine

Also,  I encourage you to read Jonathan Lethem’s book The Fortress of Solitude. I highly recommend the read. His connection to the world is very interesting, and I can understand his process!

LEADERSHIP

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Or: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” – Spock, The Wrath of Khan

“Leading stubborn [emphasis mine] groups requires shifting from authority-based leadership to empathetic, solution-focused, and servant-oriented techniques. Key roles include acting as a mediator to resolve conflicts, a “sense maker” who provides context, and an empathetic listener who addresses concerns privately to build trust.”

Key Leadership Roles for Stubborn Groups
The Mediator (Neutral Arbiter): Focuses on conflict resolution by listening to complaints, validating feelings, and focusing on root causes rather than personalities.
The “Sense Maker” (Context Provider): Helps the team understand the “why” behind decisions, connecting their work to a larger vision, which can reduce resistance.
The Servant Leader: Prioritizes the needs of the team, acts as an active listener, and provides support rather than just issuing commands.
The Role Model (Consistent Leader): Demonstrates stability, integrity, and a positive mindset, setting a standard for behavior.
The Facilitator (Empowering Agent): Encourages team members to propose their own solutions to problems, shifting them from a complaint-oriented mindset to a problem-solving one.
The Clear Communicator (Boundary Setter): Defines expectations and project goals clearly, establishing firm boundaries to manage difficult behaviors. 

Strategies for Success
Address Issues Privately: Avoid public confrontations, which can lead to increased resistance.
Use Active Listening: Validate concerns to make members feel heard before steering toward solutions.
Leverage One-on-One Meetings: Discuss behaviors and goals individually to build rapport and reduce public posturing.
Focus on Outcomes: Keep discussions centered on the goal rather than personal opinions. 
For further information, go to:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chriswestfall/2019/10/04/deal-difficult-people-sanity-inducing-leadership-strategies/

As seniors, we reach out to groups for activities to avoid isolation. We want to bond and be part of something bigger than our individual selves. Sometimes, the groups we join are very cohesive and work well together. Sometimes it is chaotic and challenging. A leader of these groups has to be strong and brave, and wage the battle of taking charge of a herd of cats (or a teenager’s mentality in people in their 70s and above). Sometimes it’s hard as a leader because we want to apply our 1960s-era laissez-faire beliefs to leadership. We want everyone to participate, but if the group simply wants to complain, chaos ensues, and the good of the group is forfeited.

Thus, the group devolves to speaking to each other in rude and unconstructive ways. It’s hard not to take it personally. Believe me, I know. Every outburst from others who want to “contribute” an opinion hits the volunteer and the leaders’ hearts, so all parties get offended and upset.

The outbursts on both sides aren’t really constructive on either end of the exchange. My thoughts on people who continue with the outbursts in the group, or the leader who gets offended, are these:

Leaders: Keep your cool even if the group is unruly. Speak with individuals afterwards one-on-one.
Participants: If you aren’t happy, speak up, but be constructive instead of dismissing the work that has been done. Follow up with an action.  If you aren’t satisfied with someone else’s work on a task, STEP UP! Speak to the individual first and ask for permission to take on the task and improve it. “I can help with [insert task].” Be willing to step up rather than complain. And if you’re not willing to help, let it go. Nothing has changed. Someone else is doing the task, so be content with it.

We can all make group participation better, IF we PARTICIPATE equally. That is the way of volunteer groups. Be willing to step up! Don’t wait for the leader to tell you what to do. Take on a job for the group’s benefit. Be happy with what we are given in the moment. If it doesn’t work out for you, that’s okay, too. Move on and be content with what you got out of the activity. Nothing is lost except your participation. Enough said.

What Makes People Go Bad?

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“Human nature….We seem cursed with the need to acquire control over each other and our environment. To rule. To change everything we can possibly meddle with.” [Charles de Lint. The Little Country (p. 273). Triskell Press. Kindle Edition.]

Today, I am pondering human nature and why we have gotten to the place we are today as a collective of beings who should be taking care of each other, no matter what. Human nature wants to have control over someone else when their lives aren’t what they hoped they would be. Friedrich Nietzsche once said that “Underneath the reality in which we live and have our being, another and altogether different reality lies concealed.” And it is that reality we must attempt to achieve, not the personality we have sought after, the hero of our own drama. The hero will die an un-heroic death if we don’t embrace the good and the bad of our perception of ourselves and others.

The current state of affairs, unfortunately, is all about people in control who have the most wealth. And they believe that fairness is only for those who can afford it. Don’t buy into the adage that the privileged get away with crimes and misdemeanors at the expense of others. In a Woody Allen movie, Professor Levy is heard saying, “The universe is a dark and indifferent place which human beings fill with love, in the hope that  future generations will understand more.” [From: Crimes and Misdemeanors, Woody Allen, 1989]

So before you decide to go “out the window,” or check out of this reality, reflect on what you can do to stop the hate, the bad people in charge, and commit to a kind deed every day that you live. Embrace your rebellious teenage years and speak up, demanding justice for those being attacked. Demand that your government representatives take action against those who think they are above the law of the land.   

I recommend you buy and read this very short but highly impactful book. It is amazing! The Greatest Sentence Ever Written, by Walter Isaacson. A must-read for people who are fighting against the orange one and his mania. And here is that sentence in case you forgot:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

And to my fans: I have fine-tuned the cover on Frankie & Jamie. Take a look and buy an escape, for a little while, into the story in the depths of the Grand Canyon in this second book of the Silver Rangers Mini-Series, available on Amazon.

I send love and hope out to all of you every day that I am alive and kicking! Brave the wind and do something fun!

Wishing for a Real Tamson House

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“Everybody needs a bit of a quiet space once in a while, a place they can just be themselves….”—Charles de Lint

I just finished re-reading Spiritwalk, by Charles de Lint. This was a continuation of Moonheart by him, which I also re-read. In the book, there is a wonderful, very large house, almost a castle, in Ottawa, Canada, where all can come together in their weirdness. It is magical and a home I wish I had grown up in. Tamson House was explained as a “strange sort of place…that draws people to it—but only the right kind of people. They’re the kind of people who are a little different.” De Lint goes on to describe these people who don’t quite fit in the outside world. They are the sensitive, artistic, or troubled souls who see beyond the current plane of existence and are uncomfortable in the real world. The house picks them to stay, and they become part of an evolving group who live there because their differences are the norm.

The author’s philosophy of life and how we live harmonizes with my very soul and gives me hope that there are like-minded people out there who are braving the turmoil like me. Here are a few of the points made that struck a chord not only to the depth of their characters, but to me personally:

  • “When people are born, they’re still at one with the world, but they lose that harmony as they get older.”
  • The characters believe they have gifts to give others and “help ease the aging hearts of people before they enter the winter of their lives….”
  • People tend to “…shut their eyes, their hearts, their minds to everything that’s around them….”

So, very much like these wonderful characters, I believe that people like me and those who think like me are put here on this earth “…to show people the way back, and restore harmony with the universe.

So, I say again, his characters live a life that I try to live, one of exchanging positivity, lending a helping hand, and bringing those back from the brink, letting others know that “What we are doesn’t change….” We can give in to despair, or we can lend a helping hand, lend hope, explaining that it doesn’t matter if others think we are weak or what shape we wear. If we turn our backs on what we are, loving, kind, caring people, despite everything that is thrown at us, that will be the death of us all. That is true weakness. There are sooooo many more fantastic words of wisdom in this book. I hope you check it out and support this author. He is amazing. Charles de Lint Spiritwalk

If we all have faith in ourselves and believe we can make a difference, that is the strength of a United People. There is beauty in humankind if we look for it and fight the haters. I have taken this final quote to new levels of meaning and have used it in several of my speaking engagements and publications over the years. I thank the author for putting it out there and hope he doesn’t mind my adulation. I hope you enjoy it and learn from it as much as I have:

“Inside us lies every possibility that is available to a sentient being. Every darkness, every light. It is the choices we make that decide who or what we will be [Emphasis mine].

Love each other tonight and sing praises to the Bad Bunny half-time show. A session of love!

RISE OF SELFISHNESS

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And how to overcome it as well as unbridled meanness….
Or: “There will always be someone out there who needs what you have to give.” I just read this on Facebook this morning, and it got me thinking (Oh! No!). Sometimes people are just mean, and I just don’t get it. They lash out when they are uncomfortable with a subject or person who disagrees with them. I have noticed that men and women speak differently when discussing an uncomfortable subject or when they want you to just agree with them, even if they are wrong. They just want you to believe in them no matter how you feel. It is hard for some men to listen without interrupting a conversation with a woman. Sometimes I think they just want to make their point without an argument, but, hey, if we women don’t agree with them, aren’t we allowed to argue back? In this age of the biggest bigot/misogynist in office, apparently, women aren’t allowed to ask questions and demand answers. Apparently, they are just supposed to smile and look pretty and agree with all the lies coming out of his mouth. (Thank you, Kaitlin Collins, for standing up to you know who.)

 I grew up in the South, where women were supposed to just smile and look pretty. But it was interesting to note the dynamics when the men left the room. Yeah, we were supposed to do most of the cooking and cleanup, but when we women got together, all I could say was: “Lawdy, Mercy!” Look out for what we all had to say! We had this kind of conversation where we all talked over each other, but we heard it all. And even if we disagreed, we could come to terms with it and still love the conversation. No one got too mad, and we still cared about each other in the end.

So it’s not wrong to disagree with each other, we just have to understand that we come from different mindsets. We as women tend to be helpers. And yes, sometimes we are mean to each other and selfish, but we can come to terms with it and do what’s right for our families and friends. Most of us aren’t too petty with each other. And sometimes we rise above all of it and agree on something our men say. Amazing, isn’t it? I would like for all men and women to get along, rise above petty, selfish government, and do the right thing. Mr. Rogers said it so well: “Look for the helpers. There are always people who are helping.”

My point is, this rise of selfishness wasn’t invented by the ugly, ill-tempered man in office. It’s been around a long time, and many interesting books have been written about it. One suggestion I have is a book by James Lincoln Collier, published in 1991. It is enlightening to see that this idea hasn’t gone away, even though we wish it would.
https://www.amazon.com/Selfishness-America-James-Lincoln-Collier/dp/0195052773

Andrew Carnegie believed in giving away wealth during one’s lifetime. His 1889 essay, The Gospel of Wealth, includes one of his most famous quotes: “The man who dies thus rich dies disgraced.” Carnegie’s message argues that the wealthy have a moral obligation to act as trustees of their wealth and distribute it for the public good during their lifetimes rather than hoard it or leave it behind. 
Context: Carnegie, who rose from poverty to become one of the wealthiest people in history, believed that accumulated wealth should be used to benefit society, not merely passed down or wasted.
The Philosophy: He argued that surplus wealth is a trust fund to be administered for the community, aiming to help those who will help themselves, such as through libraries and education.
Application: Carnegie lived by this creed, ultimately donating roughly 90% of his fortune ($350 million) to various philanthropic causes.
Legacy: This statement is considered a foundational document in modern philanthropy and a direct critique of selfishness. He believed that failing to use one’s wealth for the benefit of society was a profound moral failure.

Let’s hope the billionaire cult leaders take heed and do the right thing in the coming years. I love you all on this beautiful Super Bowl Sunday. Take heed, but it’s okay to have a little fun on the way!