This is the time of year we think of our first memories of the holidays and reflect on what we learn. Alas, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses, so I endeavor to think most about the good times or roses, and what lessons I learned to be the person I am today. Here are some thoughts on who I am. I encourage you to write about who you are and ask yourself: “Are you the person you want to be?”

I am the product of a southern belle princess and a country farmer. My parents grew up in the Deep South during the Depression and World War II. My father was in the navy and my mother worked in a department store. I am the middle kid. I am a Baby Boomer.

I was known as that weird kid because I didn’t fit into any mold of what a normal teenager was thought to be, those molds that others love to put themselves in. I grew up in an era where being smart, having coke bottle glasses, and being awkward and opinionated made me stick out like a sore thumb. In the Deep South, those were the very things that made ridicule come easily from my classmates.

My life was one of marching to the beat of a different drum and this lifestyle would get me into arguments with people of all ages. I would always fight the good fight, for what was just and right. Slowly, friends I had known since first grade systematically shut me out. We went our separate ways, and I never heard from most of them again.

As a young child, I began to question why people do the things they do. Why would they hold onto hate that was over a hundred years old? Why didn’t I feel the same way? I would ask myself, “Why couldn’t I just be that cute cheerleader who fits in?” You know what I’m talking about: the ones that fit the mold and went to all the cool parties; the one who was just part of the gang. Why did I have so many reasons to want to change the world? Why didn’t I just settle down and have a family like all the other girls? (OK, so maybe they were having kids at thirteen back then, so I said ‘No, thank you!’).” So, I kept telling myself, “I can make a difference in the world if I am given the chance.”

Finally, I did get that chance and many more when I became an adult. I chose the path to make a difference in the world, no matter how hard it was to obtain. I moved away to achieve the things I dreamed about. And I never looked back.

Even though I am now in the senior citizen category, I still categorize myself as that weird kid who thinks too much. I have been a southerner, and a country girl now turned city girl. I remember the Vietnam War and high school friends who never came back. I remember Iraq and Afghanistan wars and those who never came back. I remember so many firsts from my fellow police academy graduates. My classmates graduated to become some of the best and the first truly educated and understanding officers the state of Georgia had ever seen – the first African American state trooper in South Georgia, the first woman game and fish officer, the first women working as patrol officers for the Atlanta PD, and the first women correctional officers and trainers. I have been a correctional officer trainer, a police officer and behavioral profiler, and another first – creating the first serious juvenile offender program for the police in Colorado. We all broke down these barriers, women and people of color no longer designated to the secretarial or motor pool, back in the day when disco was hot, and cocaine flowed freely. I remember police friends who got so burned out they had to quit.

I went to college in both the 1970’s and again in the 1980’s. Some of my generation thought of ourselves as a lost generation because we were not the classic Boomer generation. We had different worldly causes than those of our mothers and fathers. Our generation wanted change, fairness, honesty, and hope. Today, I still get into a lot of animated and sometimes hostile discussions with people who are both younger and older and have differing opinions. I constantly remind myself that I need to try and respect their opinions even though I disagree with them. I want to have animated discourse but not the current hostility where no one listens to each other.

I am ashamed of the southern people that I see on television today that have so much hate in their hearts. I decided a long time ago that since I expect so much from myself it is okay to expect the best out of others, so I keep trying to make them understand love and kindness.

Today, half the people believe that our society cannot change for the better, even when I tell them that we control our own lives. There is still too much war in the world and less talk of peace and unconditional love. These were the visions of my bohemian hippie generation. I think there’s a need for people like me out there – one that still believes in those old ideals yet has a demanding work ethic to make change happen and make people believe in the future.

I’ve made my own way in the Wild, Wild West. I have fully participated in the world, I write and publish about things that matter, sometimes couched in fun mysteries, and believe I have made a difference. I’ve had my “fifteen minutes of fame” and am ready for the next fifteen. Are you ready? I wish you happy holidays and fulfillment in your lives.

Enjoy these puns based on songs while you spend time with your family. And try not to fight, just have a peaceful moment in time. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hit me baby one more thyme.

It’s all about that baste.

Give peas a chance.

All pie myself.

Talk turkey to me.

Did you hear about the Pilgrim band? They’re called “New Kids on the Rock.”

Turkey deeds done dirt cheap.