This is my 100^th blog today. So excited that I believed in myself and kept at it!

I just read a book by Julie Ann Hatcher called Not Quite By the Book. It was the perfect Valentine’s day read. Nothing serious, but a sweet book about love in a younger person’s voice. Although I’m not a poetry devotee, I’ve tried my hand at it and read a few of the books that were required reading in high school and college. Hatcher’s protagonist is in love with Emily Dickinson and attempts to emulate her only to discover that her words speak to her, but Dickinson’s lifestyle does not. I thought this would be the perfect introduction to my survey about love:
https://drutieben.com/2025/01/15/valentines-day-questionnaire/

Although I did not get many responses, I want to share what I discovered in others.

1.         My first response came from a retired college professor emeritus. He uploaded it as a comment on the original blog post. Here is a recap as he didn’t exactly follow the 4 questions. I love it!
My wife is the love of my life. We celebrate our 50th anniversary this year. I have lots of falling-in-love memories. I was playing in a flag football game and coming off the field, saw the deep blue skies and rolling clouds against the mountains and stood gawking for a second. Turns out, my wife had been trying to draw notice of the sky before I came by. Our mutual love of that beautiful day helped draw us together.
Looking back, I now see love as an ongoing choice and commitment, almost a habit but sometimes very intentional and effortful. Love is the deep undercurrent that often goes unnoticed and other times you have to fight for. There’s no defining it really. Nothing that close to the core can ever be understood.

Here are the responses by the question I asked:
1.         What is your best memory of when you fell in love?
–Meeting someone at work;
–The day I feel in love was in November 2018 when I gave birth to my amazing daughter;
–Midnight rides along Skyline Drive from Lake Merritt in Oakland to Tilden Park in Berkeley, then roaming down to a 24-hour diner at sea level to have breakfast. The views out across the San Francisco Bay toward the Golden Gate Bridge were spectacular;
–My love and I went dancing on our first date and we were dancing. I felt so good in his arms.
–My boyfriend and I were playing Scrabble, and it turned into a friendly wresting match when a tile spilled onto the floor and under the couch. Retrieving it to see who won the game, I looked deep into his eyes and dared him to say what he was thinking. He quickly found the right tiles and put them on the board. He spelled: I LOVE YOU;
–I first met my husband-to-be on the mat at the Colorado Mountain College during an Aikido meet. We looked at each other and starting throwing each other around. It was intense week, and a prelude to what was to become.

2.         Who is/was the love of your life?
–Husband;
–My six-year-old daughter. She changed my entire world;
–My husband of 51 years;
–My sweet husband found me when I was 17 and we were married almost 50 years before Covid took his life. It’s been over 4 years and I look forward to being with him in the eternity-each day the thought “ONE DAY CLOSER” gets me through the pain and longing for his sweet hugs and kisses;
–My husband and son. They get me through all the ups and downs in my life. They are there for me and love me as I do.

3.         How do you feel about love now?
–Better late than never! We’re in our 70’s so we’re reconnected;
–I used to believe the ultimate love was a romantic love. Now, I know the absolute epitome of unconditional and perfect love can be the children we’re blessed to have and watch them grow:
–Comfortable. It’s different from the heady feeling of my twenties.
–I have been totally on my own since 2008 with a few one-time dates here and there;
–Love of family and friends is the most important thing in life—it’s not jus a ‘feeling,’ it’s a commitment to share, help, support, and enjoy each other. It’s work. It’s worth it!
–Stronger and deeper than before.

4.         What would your perfect day be if you could do anything you wanted with the person you love?
–Trip to the mountains and a nice dinner (with wine!);
–Spending the day relaxing, exploring, and spending time with family;
–Taking a scenic road trip, and stroll through small town streets;
–Going on a nature walk; later getting together to get a delicious dinner and maybe listening to some romantic music and dancing in a beautiful setting;
–It would being with the one that passed away again – to say ‘I love you,’ one more time;
–My spouse and I would fly up in a spaceship to circle the earth, looking down from above, appreciate its vastness, explicitness, and its beauty, free fall outside the ship, then return home in time for dinner. (This was my personal answer!)

Thank you everyone who participated in the survey. It was heartwarming to read all of your thoughts on love. We all love in different ways and connect forever to those whose love is meant to be. Here are some quotes to reflect on today:
“Love is the little silver thread connecting all of humanity, around the globe, century to century, forevermore.”—Julie Ann Hatcher
“Let love be your inspiration.”—Julie Ann Hatcher
“Those we love never truly die. They live on with us and in our hearts….our love gave them mortality.”—Julie Ann Hatcher on Emily Dickinson

And a poem by one of my Senior Choir buddies:
A White Rose, by John Boyle O’Reilly
THE red rose whispers of passion,
  And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
  And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
  With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
  Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your moments with your loved ones tonight! Order in or cook and binge watch C.B. Strike! Love to all!