How We Communicate as We Age

Welllll…yesterday I was in music La La Land, wrapped up in tunes from long ago and far away for our next concert. So, I didn’t get around to posting, and I broke my writing streak! But “I’m back, baby!” Day 107, and counting up again! Frank Costanza-Seinfeld

Recently, I have been hanging out with a bunch of seniors and I have been pondering how we communicate, because we all seem to be talking at the same time and none of us are listening to what each of us are saying.

For example, I explain something or try and state what needs to be done, and the other person bounces back and said, “So you want me to do this (some task at hand that we’ve agreed to)?” And, I said, “No, I want you to do this.” And it goes back and forth like this verbally until I think they finally hear me. Or so I thought. Then, I get a text and they say, “You want me to do this?” And I text back, and say, “Noooo. I want you to do this.” And, then I get an email saying, “So I’m doing this, right?” At that point I get a little exasperated and say it one more time, hoping for the best outcome, or I say, “Never mind, I’ll do it.” So here’s the thing. Am I communicating the task clearly? Or is the other person communicating what’s in their head and not listening? Or do they just not want to listen or do the task at hand, even though they volunteered?

There have been several studies conducted on our aging brains over the last 20 years, and here are some brief summaries of what I have discovered that might be the cause of our communication dilemmas:

-Hearing Loss: Sometimes we just don’t literally hear what the other person is saying whether it is a physical manifestation, or background noise inhibiting what is being said. Closing the door to noises and speaking one on one to relay the message you intended is helpful.
-Elderspeak: We are so used to people feeding us (seniors) information in small bits, almost as if they were speaking to babies, and over-explaining topics, that we tend to stop listening when others use long sentences. While explaining things in a slower speech, not using complex sentences and repeating the facts may work for those who are really impaired. However, sometimes this method backfires on those who are still cognitively with us. We need to explain things thoroughly, but we need to continue to speak to adults like adults in hopes that they become better listeners, and thus better doers.
-Word Retrieval Failures: Sometimes we call these senior moments. We are receiving the information as a transmission, but we don’t know how to retrieve the response from our brain because the connections have weakened over time. For example, this is particularly common when we are trying to think of the name of a famous person or actor. I continue to blank on Elijah Wood for some reason. I have to look him up every time I am trying to relate a story or a movie he’s in (Frodo in Lord of the Rings, duh…) And I love his works, so why do I forget that?

These are only a few items that have been discussed in the National Institute of Health’s publication. Check it out and read this interesting paper on some of the earliest discoveries of our aging brains: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97337/

Back in the early 2000s, there was much discussion about using technology to help others understand what we are saying. For example, there have been great strides in the speech to text capabilities and use of computers and phones to translate what is being said. This is a wonderful tool, and folks like Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania is a great advocate of this. He has a brain injury and uses technology to help him understand speech and the language of others. Sometimes I think groups that I am currently involved in could use this technique to relay messages. They would also benefit the use of this technology as a learning tool to actively listen.

In a Psychology Today article Language, Comprehension and the Aging Brain, the author discusses the concepts of working memory and  verbal fluency. “Working memory is our ability to remember and manipulate a small chunk of information in an immediate context, as opposed to committing something to our longer-term memory (e.g., to remember that information at some later point) or even just holding information while we jot it down but don’t alter it…” (commonly known as short-term memory).

Verbal fluency is being able to communicate information from any category and relay it to another person. “For instance, when asked to come up with as many names as they [seniors] can for a given category (e.g., plants or animals), [is] a task requiring them to search through word meanings that have been cognitively stored, older adults generate fewer terms overall and have less range in terms of the terms they come up with.”

This article suggests that “…print exposure, i.e., reading experience, not only helps by providing another source of information to draw upon when making semantic or syntactic decisions but also might even compensate for declines in those with poor working memory. For more information on this article see: Working Memory-Aging Brain

Some people have a hard time with my fast-paced talking and desire to always learn new things. They get brain headaches when listening to me. I try and slow down my process for them the best I can, but there is always so much to be learned out in the world, and I want to share that knowledge. I don’t want my brain to atrophy as I age. I hope I am in the classification called the Cognitive Super Ager, but who knows? I haven’t taken the tests. I implore you to read up on this phenomena found on the web. It’s fascinating!

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/brain-health/how-aging-brain-affects-thinking
https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/cognitive-super-agers-defy-typical-age-related-decline-brainpower

I hope you all take a moment to appreciate this information and pass it on to your loved ones and friends who might be struggling. I know I will continue to read and learn as long as I am able, and I hope when my eyesight (and possibly brain) starts to fail, someone will read to me about new and exciting adventures and discoveries!

I love you all and hope you are enjoying every moment with your friends and families!

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