Author Archives: Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

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About Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I am a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler and trainer. I hold a black belt in Aikido. In the past, I've had to make immediate decisions for people in life-threatening situations. I applied the law, martial arts principles, and life lessons, in a logical and ethical manner, and helped victims gain a sense of organization and control over their lives. I wrote a book entitled Discover the Life You Want to Live which is based on my career and writing experiences. I started this blog to help people solve their own problems and to give recognition to all the entrepreneurs out there who have a community and global view and aren't instant millionaires.

Return to the Cycle of 365 Days of Kindness

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So, I didn’t quite meet my goal of writing 365 blog posts over the last year, but I am returning to it all the same, in hopes of continuing the conversation into the new year. Today will be my 212th post since November 2024. I thought writing something every day was a worthy goal, but alas, life gets in the way, and other writing takes precedence. So, in moments of downtime, I would like to attempt this once again.

I have been thinking about the past once again and where we are today. I have a huge notebook full of notes and thoughts on my family and friends that will lead me towards the path of the next book. Many years ago, I thought the first book would be called Different Drummer because, hey, that is the path I took. But there are many, many, worthy books with that title, so I am working on it. I do have some great story ideas and family memories. I also have great stories from others, which I hope to present in my writing as well, in the best possible way.

Researching the past has led me to contemplate my time trekking the hills and valleys throughout my life. I know there were many roads not taken and many more miles to go before I can get a good night’s sleep. (I know, Robert Frost is turning over in his grave!) But I realized I sidestepped pathways that needed to be taken, ones that kept coming back to me over and over, and yet I kept returning to them. Once I faced (most of) those insurmountable hills and valleys, I  moved on to the next phase of my life. I have stopped dreaming about all the ‘what ifs’ (most of them) and made a new dream come true. But that’s the point of life, isn’t it? We face new challenges each day and move on to teach others how to do the same. I am still thinking about the next book title and where I will go. Writing about it always leads the way.

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.”
—Henry David Thoreau

“You and I travel to the beat of a different drum
Oh, can’t you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me.
….You can’t see the forest for the trees
Yes, and I ain’t sayin’ you ain’t pretty
All I’m saying’s I’m not ready for any person
Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me….”
Stone Poneys – Linda Ronstadt version
Songwriter: Michael Nesmith

Thanks to all who support my crazy writing career and read the books I have created so far.

Loving you all and wishing for snow tonight! Stay safe out there! See you at the Rec!

Happy New Year—Hitting the Reset Button

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Okay, so it took me five days to write my New Year’s Blog, but HEY! I have a lot going on right now!

Between kiddo being home, Christmas and New Year’s meal preparations with a bum right thumb, doctor’s appointments, and the general hullabaloo of the holidays, I feel myself lucky that I am sane right now! But I digress. We had a wonderful time, and it was nice to celebrate without thinking about “what things may become” in the future. Now that I have put the grown (21!) baby back on the plane and he is back at college, I have a lot to do this month!

So I tackled the chores in my frenzied Cleaning, Cleaning, Cleaning phase (always after the new year, it seems.) I always feel as if I can get rid of stuff I haven’t used in a hundred years (or since we got married—how many of you remember all those crazy wedding gifts from twenty+ or thirty+ years ago?), then the old mantra, Clean House, Clear Mind, will ring true.

First, I tackled the paper shredding affair. Ugh! What a task. (Everyone who does this understands what I am saying.) I shredded two years’ worth of old tax documents dating back to 2017 and then had to pack it into two big bags for disposal. Then, I had to clean up the floor. Sheesh!

Then I went through the office closet and found way more stuff to give away, such as a zillion children’s puzzles. I am taking them to the rec center for summer camp, 2026!

Then came the kitchen. Since we have such a small kitchen, I went through the pantry and the shelves, cleaned them out, and put on new shelf paper.  I found yet more gadgets that I hadn’t used since the beginning of time (or when we bought them). I’m removing them from the pantry and storing the ice cream maker, popcorn popper, and snow cone machine for the kiddo to see if he’ll take them away when he gets his own place. If now, well, ARC here I come!!!!

We’ll finally tackle taking down the tree, putting away the Christmas decorations, and putting away the Lego Village this weekend. I’ll have my living space back! Yes!

So, with a wonderful old-fashioned Tea Cake Recipe from the past (Thanks, Jo!), I’ll relive my Grandma’s love, and make them this week (after the Frenzied Exercise startup, of course!).

So here’s to singing in the new year, and creating Mantras (NOT RESOLUTIONS!) to do better, be better, and help others. It’s all inside of you!

I completed the updates to both Silver Element and Silver Storm (new cover in progress), so the refresh/reprint is online as well as the third book, Silver Lore! Hope you purchase and read them, and have a blast with the stories!! https://www.amazon.com/stores/Drusilla-M.-Tieben/author/B00ET98OVA

I also want to share an email from a friend on New Year’s Day:
“Hi Friends! I woke up this morning dreaming about our meditation group. I was saying that meditation is not about adding something- but uncovering what is already there- your beautiful, soulful self. Keep uncovering your best, loving self in this New Year.”—Stephen Wurzel
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet (Act 4, Scene 5).

So have a great start to the new year. Love each other every day and help those in need! I love you all and can’t wait to see you or meet you!

Home for the Holidays

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I have returned to a book I have loved and found more wisdom to share. I am re-reading parts of David Brooks’ book, How to Know a Person, published in 2023. Christmas is here, and communication is the key not only to staying connected to your family but also to staying in touch with the world. His insights about how to actually communicate with people have helped me get through some interesting times. For example:

“I learned something profound along the way. Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 7-8). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And:
“There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others and to yourself [Emphasis mine]. Human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water. No crueler punishment can be devised than not to see someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 9). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And finally:
“Many of our big national problems arise from the fraying of our social fabric. If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well.” [Emphasis mine.] [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 12). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

“Big questions interrupt the daily routines people fall into and prompt them to step back and see their life from a distance. Here are some of my favorite questions that do that:
‘What crossroads are you at?’
‘What would you do if you weren’t afraid?’
‘If you died tonight, what would you regret not doing?’
‘If we meet a year from now, what will we be celebrating?’
‘If the next five years are a chapter in your life, what is that chapter about?’
‘Can you be yourself where you are and still fit in?’” [Emphasis mine.]  [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 90-91). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

So to put it mildly, think about open-ended conversations that keep people engaged. Have fun listening to others, only pausing them if they get too wrapped up in their B.S. Ask them to move on without either of you getting angry. Try to find a happy solution to differences, and be at peace with the fact that no one will share your every opinion.

I encourage you to read David Brooks and learn something new. Emanate love to all those surrounding you this holiday season. Keep your fun traditions (Lego Villages and baking cookies!) and shed all those that bring you sadness. Sing joyously with the Christmas CDs (or Spotify! Or wherever you get your music!). Enjoy the baking, the loving moments, and the memories you share with your family and friends.

AND Don’t forget to buy my book, available instantly on Amazon (ebook version). for a terrific present! Thanks to all of you who support my work!

I love you all on this crazy Colorado night. Hoping for no power outages, insane wind, and maybe even a little moisture! Have a terrific holiday season, and if I don’t write until the new year, be at peace with me and my messages, with yourself and others for a little while.

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE and SILVER LORE IS LIVE!

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I am happy to announce that the 3rd and final book and e-book in the Caitlin Ferguson Mystery series, SILVER LORE, is now live and available to purchase on Amazon! I have paperback and e-book editions available for purchase. I have enjoyed writing this series and look forward to my next adventure. I hope you enjoy my creation as much as I enjoyed writing it. And please tell all your friends and family by linking to this post or sharing it on Facebook! Click the link below to purchase, or go to Amazon.com under Drusilla Tieben. Thank you!!

SILVER LORE

An Official Storyteller

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I pulled out my faded, brown-around-the-edges Robert Fulghum paperbacks today because I needed a boost about why I write and care about things so much. Robert Fulghum inspired me from the beginning of my ridiculous writing career and kept me going when life got me down. He is one of the funniest and poignant writers I have ever had the privilege of reading. His first book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, was published in 1986, and remained on the best-seller list for over 2 years! It is still in publication today, and I asked for the 25th Anniversary edition for Christmas, which has 25 new stories! The first chapter still blows me away, and I’ve quoted it so many times in so many places (including this blog) that I almost have it memorized. I encourage everyone to read and re-read this book.

Needless to say, he is one of my heroes, has had an amazing life, was born in Waco, Texas, was a college professor at Baylor, and a Unitarian Universalist minister, and is still going strong at 88! And, by the way, he lives in Moab, Utah (well, and on the island of Crete, Greece as well). What a life! I am striving to become a great storyteller like him. I don’t know if I’ll make it to those lofty heights before I die, but I can keep trying.

Robert Fulghum’s Storyteller’s Creed:
“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.”
For more interesting reading about writing, go to the Hub Pages website at:
https://discover.hubpages.com/literature/The-Storytelling-Profession

While writing Discover the Life you Want to Live, I interviewed many people and asked them to create and write out their Credo, or personal Creed. I was happily surprised by what people told me. And of course, mine was long and convoluted with lots of sub-sections. But the main thing that this exercise taught me is that most people are inherently good beneath the surface. They do the right thing most of the time. And if they screw up, they try to make it right. I wish we could all say that about everyone in power. All I know is that if we focus on our families and people we mentor, help guide them to make the right decisions, even if it is not how we would do it, then our little part of the world will become a better place. And if everyone starts this as a movement, the whole world will become wonderful.

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”—Robert Fulghum
For more of his fun quotes, go to:  https://www.azquotes.com/author/5227-Robert_Fulghum

So be as weird as you want and love one another during this holiday season. Have fun with your feast and sing some joyful songs! My heart goes out to all of you and your families!

Hallmark Moments

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AND: Love, Romance, and Aging Brains
Have you ever found yourself watching the Hallmark Channel around the holidays and getting sucked into the story, even if it is really bad, full of cliches, and with a festive atmosphere where no one is angry with each other? And a little part of you is starting to want to have that life, that moment after the big fight where you kiss and make up, near the mistletoe, and everything is wonderful, and everything is with your soul mate?

Wellllllll…. We all know this quest for true love and romance doesn’t always happen in real life, right? We all go through the ups and downs of daily life, and as we age, things get harder to face in the real world. (Also, notice that everyone in all of these movies is beautiful, has money, and is very young?)

What I’m trying to say is this: We create our Hallmark moments every day that we interact with the ones we love. We strive for perfection, yet embrace what is given. We can love each other the way we are, not perfect, yet make our dreams come true with what we have. Love can conquer our greatest fears as long as we acknowledge our past and move on to a future of our own creation.

In the movie Fred Claus, Fred, Santa Claus’s brother, realizes that there are no naughty kids and that every kid deserves a present at Christmas, no matter how small. It’s the thought of having a loving family surrounding them that counts, not the present itself. In the real world, not every kid is always good, and not every kid gets a present, or even has a family. There are so many of us who forget about the love portion, no matter what we do.

There are rich spoiled kids with good and bad parents, and poor kids whose parents treat them poorly, or kids who don’t have parents at all and are in the system. But I’d like to believe that the majority of parents pull together for the holidays in ways that aren’t about how they were treated by their own parents. I’d like to believe in those happy moments where families just love each other for who they are in this present moment. Sometimes it’s hard to get beyond our weird family dynamics, but there is hope for all of us to love each other in ways we weren’t loved. There is hope that we can become better parents and grandparents and forgive those who treated us poorly in the past. There is hope in seeing others not as different or less than us, but as part of our bigger family, part of being human, people we should embrace and call our own.

So sometimes I have weird dreams, and my family dynamic from the past interferes with my aging brain’s headspace. But I try to overcome these moments and say a little mantra, forgiving all the past trespasses of my family or me against my family. I try to see where I’m at today and be thankful for my loved ones who love me unconditionally. I try to love them the same way that I want to be loved. I remember the good times and try not to beat myself up with the bad times. It’s hard to forget everything, but my brain and body have lived for a long time on this planet, and I hope it continues to live a little longer to see a change in our world for the better.

All I know is that I have done what I could to help others and will continue to do so through many, many small acts of kindness. I hope you’ll do the same. But I think most of us can be better than you know who, and, at least when I fall asleep in my chair, I don’t have the world watching me because I am in charge of the highest office in the land. Time to step down and become a human being, mister! And threatening people’s lives is not cool, so stop it and overcome your pettiness and selfishness. Be a kind and gentle leader for once in your life! No amount of gold on the walls will make you happy with who you are if you don’t take care of all of the people in this country. Enough said.

I hope everyone has a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving. Make beautiful food, share it, and continue your traditions, as well as make new ones for the future. Overcome your dark moods before everyone comes home and try to stay in the moment. Love each other the best way you know how, and extend a helping hand to others in need. I send out much love to all this week!

Traditions

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I have just started preparing for the holidays. My neighbor has all the lights up around his house and is working on the inside! Wow! We will probably start doing that this weekend. We always miss the good weather and end up doing it in the snow. Crazy us.

We’ll get down all of the boxes and boxes of lights and ornaments that are up in the attic over the garage, and I will get out my Lego Village and put it on a long folding table upstairs for display. (We bought the Lego Christmas train this year to add to the village!)

We won’t build the Lego set or put up the tree until kiddo gets home from college, another tradition we’ve started over the last few years. Everyone takes turns putting all the decorations and ornaments on the tree, and if you know me, I will rearrange them a million times before it looks just right.

It’s fun to create traditions that are your own. My husband’s mom passed away recently, and I remember her kindness and thoughtfulness to me when I was struggling with a piece of writing. She would always review my books, and they were always honest and still positive. One of her traditions she started was sending us a Hallmark Christmas ornament around Thanksgiving each year.

We sometimes got the tree up early, but usually it was about two weeks before Christmas. When kiddo came into our lives, David’s mom started sending fun kid ornaments. We have a whole box of them now, and we only put up a few of them for sentimental reasons. This is the first holiday season we will be without her, so I decided to keep the tradition going. I bought a Hallmark ornament for us and for my husband’s Dad. He received it last week, and I think it cheered him up a little bit. I will try to honor her in the future in a way I hope has meaning for all.

And we always hope for a dusting of snow like in the movies, but of course, we haven’t had any snow or rain in 233 days now, so who knows? We can wish. I love you all this week before the holiday season starts. And remember those in need through Colorado Gives Day on December 9th!  https://www.coloradogives.org/

And, of course, catch up on my series before the new ones go live:
SHOP Drusilla Tieben on Amazon

People Who Shouldn’t Be In Charge

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People who do outrageous and horrendous acts against others who are different should not work for the government. On November 10th, the Supreme Court rejected the bid to overturn the landmark same-sex marriage decision. A ridiculous woman who worked for a County Clerk’s office in Kentucky kept denying marriage licenses to same sex couples because of her religious beliefs. Tell me that is not JUST PLAIN WRONG! Why can’t people understand about separation of church and state? Why are they imposing their beliefs on others? I don’t do that. Why do others think they should? I am glad one couple stood up to her and made her pay for her wrongdoing. I have no sympathy for that worker.

As a woman who was in government for many, many years, I am so disappointed in those petty folks who want to have power over others, regardless of who they hurt. Women should unite and understand that whatever they believe in their private lives should not be pushed onto others. If you are a government worker of any kind, you should do your job well and serve those who come to you. You have to be brave enough to do the right thing by others, regardless of who you are in your personal life. You CHOSE to work to help all the people in your city, county, state, or federal workplace. You were ELECTED to serve everyone. Don’t be a hater. Enough said.

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11/12/25

When Will You Stop Believing the Lie?

Everyone should have the opportunity to eat a meal and be able to survive. Every child should never go hungry.
Every PERSON, whether adult or child, should have the opportunity to receive an education.

If you make a billion dollars, you should pay your fair share in taxes to support programs for ALL OF US, just like the rest of us.
If you make a million dollars, you should pay your fair share in taxes to support programs for ALL OF US, just like the rest of us.
The middle class should NOT have to bear the burden, but we do it, because IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

In Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben’s book, Gone Before Goodbye, the protagonist encounters many of the richest people in the world in Dubai. Her comments about them hit home:
–“Dubai is a playground for the rich and their most hedonistic urges. It’s Disney World for grown-ups who don’t want to be grown-ups. It wants to be salacious and gritty, but it is hard to blend that with the baser need to be safe and comfortable.” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 197). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.]
–“…no one looks happy the day after. It all feels a tad desperate and sad. These people are rich and successful and powerful and have everything, but it isn’t enough. That’s the problem. It is never enough. Human nature sees to that. We get used to every luxury. Even the richest men in the world, we’ve seen over the past few years, can’t be satiated, no matter how much money or power or yachts or women or offspring or hero worship or attention or whatever they have….” She also quoted from Bruce Springsteen: “…the poor man wants to be rich, the rich man wants to be king, and the king ain’t satisfied until he rules everything.” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 198). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.]

People who feel cheated by this administration believe in THE BIG LIE. Powerful people need to keep the little guy on edge, and it angers everyone who feels they are being taken advantage of by others, even when those others are suffering. They feel a need to hold onto what they have and forget about everyone else. Well, I think that everyone should pay their fair share. Why do we still believe it? Why don’t we care about each other, no matter who we are and how we got here?

And why is it so important to be in that uber-rich class high above the rest of us? Why do we hold onto all the money we have and not share it with the rest of the world? People like those oligarchs just want more money, more status, more of everything. And yet they aren’t very happy at the end of the day. Money did not buy happiness after all for them. Apparently, power is more important than people in this world. And yet, rich people continue to buy their happiness by purchasing others’ support. Is this because they need to control the world? It’s sad for me to think that this is the way the world works.

So, I am putting it out to the Universe to keep reading, keep giving, and enjoy the moments you have on earth. Take a breath and enjoy the week. We can only do what we can. Anxiety might be high right now, but we can help each other no matter what. Sometimes we need to shift our spiraling thoughts and go out and join others in the spectacular Northern Lights’ display. It can humble us to realize how small we truly are in the universe we inhabit.

I love you all on this cloudy day. I am hoping for rain!

When Disagreeing Was a Good Thing

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Remember those days—when we all had differing viewpoints that were welcomed in the conversation? Remember when we could challenge each other and engage in thoughtful discussions, relishing the conversation? Remember when we weren’t so angry, and we continued to listen without interrupting the speaker? When did this change?

I am reading Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben’s new book, “Gone Before Goodbye.”  I am not normally a Harlan Coben fan, but I am intrigued by his writing now that he has collaborated with another author on a promising story. Initially, the protagonist attempts to come to terms with her loss and downfall, reflecting on her past. She spoke of her student days, when they would go out drinking after a particularly hard day, and engage in philosophical discussions at the bar (Remember that?) Nostalgia of those college days and early career days brings back memories of when we knew we were so right about everything. In the book, the protagonist stated: “What do you call a longing for critical thinking and common sense and decency?” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 24). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.]

As we age, some of us become comfortable and even complacent about the world around us. We don’t listen to others without getting offended over some ridiculous idea. We don’t laugh as often. We often become frustrated with the legal system. “…if you think our legal system is about truth or fairness or equality, you’re either not paying attention or delusional.” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 28). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.] This quote resonated with me because I still want to believe in a fair and just process. It’s not always there, but I still want to believe, and I continue to pay attention to what is going on in the government, as well as the daily craziness.

But sometimes people of every age just get that glazed look in their eyes when someone tries to convince them they are right, even though their thoughts and actions are really wrong. Discourse turns into a shouting match, and anger ensues. It’s hard to say you are wrong about something. No wonder we are tired. Current events and life as we know it have worn us down, yet we continue to try to keep going. And sometimes, it is just frustrating when a younger person ignores you because they have had bad experiences in their lives dealing with their senior relatives.

But today I am asking millennials, Gen Zs, and Gen Alphas to not lump all of us seniors with the grandparents and parents of the pandemic, who you still cannot talk to because they were so vengeful and hateful (Please take a moment to listen. We really do have some good things to say and do with the rest of our lives.) Sometimes you just have to forgive your relatives for their behaviors and thoughts and move on. Sometimes, you just have to let it all go, even if it means putting off conversations about serious subjects for now. Love them however you can before it’s too late.

Not all of us seniors are bad people or hateful. We still have our faculties, and are those free thinkers that you think your generation invented. There are so many of us who are still trying. We just don’t want to be ignored or become invisible because you think we don’t know anything, or are those angry seniors they portray on the news to get viewers to watch. I have made a promise to my kiddo and the new generations to always take a moment to listen and take on their causes, continuing to write about it and showing respect for everyone, regardless of who they are or what they represent. I give to worthy causes and love all human beings. I ask you all to do the same. Something to think about.

On this cold and dry night beyond the 100th meridian, I am thinking of all of you and sending out this message of hope. I love you all.