Author Archives: Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

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About Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I am a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler and trainer. I hold a black belt in Aikido. In the past, I've had to make immediate decisions for people in life-threatening situations. I applied the law, martial arts principles, and life lessons, in a logical and ethical manner, and helped victims gain a sense of organization and control over their lives. I wrote a book entitled Discover the Life You Want to Live which is based on my career and writing experiences. I started this blog to help people solve their own problems and to give recognition to all the entrepreneurs out there who have a community and global view and aren't instant millionaires.

We Are All Weeds

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Weeds: A plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth. Especially: one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants. (2): a weedy growth of plants. By observing the weeds in your yard, you can pick up clues about soil fertility, moisture levels, and pH. Some weeds like it wet, some like it dry. Some grow in rich soil; some tolerate even the poorest soil. Some seek out sunny, open areas while others prefer the shady dampness of a forest floor.

I went to a wonderful lecture years ago that was held at the Louisville Library and sponsored by the Open Space folks. The speaker was a guy named Doug Larson, and he was highly informative. He stated that “A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill.” I learned a lot about why my yard seems to sprout sooooo many weeds. The best thing I learned about weeds was that they were amazing clue givers on how good your soil was doing. Alas, they choked out grass in a lot of areas, because they are so hardy. And, if truth be told, some of the weeds are a poor (wo)man’s flowers! They are simply incredible survivors. And who needs grass anyway in a drought environment? (I keep taking out more every year….)

When I am immersed in writing, I look forward to researching quotes for each chapter. People say amazing things in person and in writing and I love the idea of putting them in my books! So, I used Doug’s quote in one of the chapters of my latest book and followed it up by one of mine:
“We are all different and our differences are what make us strong. We are all weeds.”

Weeds always seem to be a plant in the wrong place. And, yet we can take heart that this little weed growing in the middle of the road or a crack in the sidewalk conveys bravery and an ability to thrive in the worst conditions. People are like weeds in the way we survive the worst conditions. Like weeds, we are both wild and beautiful, and emerge into places we thought we’d never be, bravely pushing through no matter the odds. We can be in the wrong place at the right time and that’s a good thing. We can be both vulnerable and brave at the same time. Nothing can bring us down unless we allow it to happen.

I am always plucking and mulching at the weeds in my gardens. I try to enjoy the gardens I have created, and weeds seem to always want to take over! And why not? It’s a super soil of nurturing nutrients. They want the same thing as the rest of the plants (and people).

I ask myself, “Do I do the same thing with my life? Maybe weeds are just those things that get in the way of the life I want to live. Trying to create something beautiful in my backyard is challenging work. But wasting too much time plucking the weeds and not planting new plants, drains my time and my energy. All those human distractions out there do the same thing. The saying in the weeds refers to an overwhelming amount of work or being too immersed in something complex. Maybe we can take a step back, appreciate the weeds (except thistle – I loathe thistle!) and let them be for a season. However, if they choke out your beautiful plants, go ahead and pluck them out. That’s okay, too. For more insights on this metaphor see:
http://katherinediuguid.squarespace.com/longing-to-belong

The important thing to remember is try not to be too judgy, “The only difference between a weed and a flower is judgement. Remember that. Remember it on your darkest days and your sunniest moments. Remember it when life is burdensome and when it’s glorious. Remember that no matter what road you travel, there will be weeds.”
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/weed-flower-wendy-rumrill

So fellow weeds, I ask you to hang in there and we’ll all get through everything together. Here’s another quote from the book (and Bob Marley). I think it sums up what I wanted to say tonight! Love and hugs to all who venture into and beyond the weeds!

“Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you riding through the ruts,
Don’t you complicate your mind
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don’t bury your thoughts;
put your vision to reality.” —Bob Marley

Are We There Yet?

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Remember the days when all of us kids were jammed back in the station wagon and headed out on a vacation to the beach or the mountains? For me it was a nightmare. Winding through southern states before we could get to Florida, or Alabama, or Tennessee, among other places. There was no AC in the hot car, no seatbelts, three girls fighting in the back seat and later a brother standing up in the front seat between our mom and dad. We would get a smack (on anything my mother could reach) if we asked, “Are we there yet?” too many times. That was my childhood.

Well, I made it to adulthood and vacations changed for the better. My family has been on many enjoyable trips, going to the beaches, the mountains, and cities across the U.S. We didn’t go back to the south except a few times. The west has so much to offer. When I think about the changes to travel and the affordability of air travel, my heart lightens. Sure, it’s trying with a little one, but as he got older, it was fun to watch him enjoy the new sites and vistas. We weren’t able to go only many vacations, but now that he’s grown, kiddo can see the world. And I look forward to the day we both retire and have our own travel adventures by ourselves. There are still so many places to see in this great big world, faraway places with lovely people and beautiful vistas.

But you know me, that’s not the question I really want you to ponder. “Are we there yet?” This question goes beyond the literal meaning of a physical destination. This question represents a vastly broader inquiry. It’s about reaching your desired goals or state of being. It sometimes reflects impatience to getting something completed. It is an ask that lets you think about what you have achieved. Are you there yet? Did you reach your goals in the life you have lived so far? If not, what steps can you take to get there?

Think of it this way: Consider what there means in your current situation. What are you striving for right now? And how do you measure your progress? Can you reflect on your milestones and use them to tell if you are moving in the right direction? Are you being patient with yourself? Are you persevering through the tough times? Are you making a list? (That’s me, the list maker….) Can you focus on the process of the journey instead of fixating on the end result? It’s a better way to enjoy each thing you accomplish on the way to the end of the journey!

So when the world’s problems get you down, and you start worrying about everything that is disastrous, send out messages of hope, both mentally and physically, and know that you are a good person and are trying to do you absolute best. Although I was not a great believer in the generation where every kid gets a trophy, sometimes I agree that it is a really good thing. And adults need those trophies, too, especially if they are trying to do something new and scary. Or, if they are trying to do the right thing in the face of adversity every day of their lives. So, when you think about the milestones in your life, and learn to be satisfied with where you’re at right now so you can move towards completion in the task at hand, think of it this way. One of the things my dad told us when we were whining, “Are we there yet?” was:

“Closer than you think.”
Be well tonight and I send out love and hugs to all of you.

Forgive and Live

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“I release you; I forgive you; I wish only the best for you.”—Stephen Wurzel

The interesting thing about re-visiting and reading old science fiction novels is that back in the early days of this genre, the authors had no idea how far we would come with technology. Instead, they believed that their future selves would have cures for all illnesses, including the worst ones such as cancer and heart conditions.

We have come a long way with technology, yet this technology has sometimes led us astray and our hearts have suffered. And every year I ask: “Where are the flying cars, space resorts, and luxury yachts in space?” (Okay, really? The Fifth Element movie. It’s on TV allllll the time! Watch it and you will be happy!)

Our psyches have suffered because so many of us have bought into the “Must stay in touch with everyone and everything in every moment!” mental crisis, thus causing more stress and thus more diseases now than ever before. We also seem to have forgotten that old adage, that if you can forgive someone and just let it go you will be a healthier person.

Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.”

Forgiveness is not just about saying the words. “It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not,” Dr. Swartz says. As you release the anger, resentment, and hostility, you begin to feel empathy, compassion and sometimes even affection for the person who wronged you. Here are a few of the things she listed in the article than you can be active with forging ahead:
Reflect and remember.
Empathize with the other person.
Forgive deeply.
Forgive yourself.
For more information see:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

Almost everyone has experienced being wronged by someone. It could be a former co-worker, friend, or family member. But hanging on to those negative feelings can do great harm to your health. It’s never easy, but if you dwell on all those past hurts, you fill your mind with negativity and anger. Free yourself of this and project kindness to the world, even if it is sometimes cruel.

“Practicing forgiveness can have powerful health benefits. Observational studies, and even some randomized trials, suggest that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction. Yet, forgiving people is not always easy.”—Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, Harvard University. For his ideas, see go to: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness

So forgive and forget every day you are here on this planet. And if you are having a tough time thinking about all this, here is my suggestion for today: Bake an upside-down pear cake with store bought cake mix and sautéed pears that are super ripe! Let it cool, turn it out of the pan so the pears are on top (right side up) and enjoy. So delicious!

Next, if you haven’t purchased a shredder yet, I encourage you to do so. Complete the mind-numbing task of shredding two years’ worth of old tax and household papers. Messy, but satisfying. I love you all on this cold winter’s night!

How to Change Apathy and Care for the World

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Apathy is behavior that shows no interest or energy, and shows that someone is unwilling to take action, especially over something important (Cambridge Dictionary).

There is so much happening in the world right now that we have to contend with, and fears of the future outcomes seem to paralyze us in our actions. I am asking each of you out there to reach out and pull someone out of the rabbit hole. Listen for a few minutes to them and help raise their energy levels to new highs. Take a walk with them and discuss things that make each of you happy from day to day. If something they say triggers something in you and makes you angry or believe that all is lost, literally, skip through that thought. Skip this new given path with them and internalize that it’s not them, it’s something from your past. Forgive what can be forgiven and your past hurts will at least float away in that moment. Stretch mentally and physically and stay in that moment with them. Know that thoughts may still surface about something that bothers you but try to let it go when you are with another person. We can survive all the world’s ills if we just reach out to one person each day and make a connection. Smile and laugh with them. Get them to tell you funny stories about their lives. Tell them some fun facts that you just learned!

Apathy has been described as an absence of feeling or emotion. This indifference can affect your motivation and leave you feeling detached from the world. We can’t stop caring about everyday tasks, hobbies, and personal interests. We can’t detach from our loved ones and slide down the rabbit hole. I am asking you to take heart and reach out to others. We can all get some help when we are faced with depressing thoughts. And make an effort to forgive those past hurts and encourage your new buddy to do the same.
https://parade.com/living/forgiveness-phrases-to-use-according-to-a-therapist

We are interdependent of each other in this great big world, and we have to reach across all barriers to create change. While I don’t agree with everything he says, Dr. Michael Laitman, PhD in Philosophy, and a MSc in Medical Bio-Cybernetics, had some insightful thoughts on his website. He stated: “Humanity lives in a single integral system where everybody is globally interdependent. Being interdependent means that every person’s slightest action influences the entire network of humanity and nature. Therefore, caring for the world means caring for myself, since I affect everyone, and everyone affects me….the more our egoistic desires (self-interest at the expense of others) grow, the more imbalance and harm we afflict upon the system….That’s why we need to care for the world.” The integral system can be applied personally, locally, and worldwide. For more information on this interesting and wise person, go to his website:
https://www.michaellaitman.com/about/

And if we have such a beautiful place to be (Colorado), get outside as often as possible. Sometimes it’s really cold, but a few minutes outside will enliven us. “Personal contact with nature, especially at an early age, can strengthen an individual’s emotional affinity to it, facilitating their motivation to adopt pro-nature behaviors,” says ecologist Masashi Soga, the study’s lead author and an associate professor at the University of Tokyo. We learn to care about nature and saving the planet as we walk the path every day. For more information on this subject see:
https://therevelator.org/people-care-planet/

Every day I strive for harmony and ways to calm my overactive brain. This year, I am sending out love to everyone as well as letters to senators and representatives when I have a concern. Handwritten or typed letters get through to these folks, (NOT emails). And if you have questions on what’s happening, you should be able to voice them, not with hate and despair, but with well thought-out and logical questions and concerns. Your voices will create change. You just have to make some noise in a positive and logical way, not in a hatemongering way.

I leave you tonight with two thoughts:
“Likewise, if we successfully organize ourselves to positively connect above our divisive egos, we will experience new elated sensations of harmony and perfection due to our balance with nature.”—Dr. Michael Laitman

And, I want to repeat a quote I had on yesterday’s blog:
“There will always be men who think and dream and sing and carry on all the race has ever loved. The future belongs to them.”—Poul Anderson

We will get through all that is to come in 2025 one day and one person at a time. Our human beingness demands it.

Cold and Reflections

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I don’t have much today except some magnificent quotes from Poul Anderson’s Psychotechnic League books:

“While mourning the follies of violent ages gone by, we humans can take pride in this: after each disaster, our species keeps on striving, like a trampled plant once more struggling towards the sun.”

“We [humans] want to feel we have some importance and value—we want to amount to something.”
And,
Robot speaking to humans in the future: “Your case is fairly common. You have been relegated to obscurity by advanced technology. But do not identify yourself with all mankind. There will always be men who think and dream and sing and carry on all the race has ever loved. The future belongs to them, not to you—or to me. As the robot walked away from the despairing humans he said: Man, you are the lucky one. You can get drunk!”

Something to think about! Love to all this wintry night.

Music Reflections: 1960s vs. 2024

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I have been thinking about music a great deal lately and decided to look at what the music was that represented our troubling times back in the 1960s versus what we had in 2024. Although this isn’t an exclusive list and I didn’t go through all the generations, these are some that appeared the most frequently on Google searches (and AI). It reflects how we thought about the world back then and what’s going on now:

1960s:
-We Shall Overcome (Joan Baez, 1963): A traditional gospel song that became a rallying cry for the civil rights movement
-In My Life (The Beatles, 1965): A nostalgic song about reflecting on the love for those who are no longer with us 
–Eve of Destruction (P.F. Sloan and Barry McGuire, 1965): A wakeup call about the Vietnam War
–A Change Is Gonna Come (Sam Cooke, 1965): A protest song by soul singer Sam Cooke 
-My Generation (Pete Townsend, The Who, 1965): A song that was banned from the BBC for a reason not directly related to its lyrical content
–Respect (Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin, 1967): A protest song by soul singers Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin
-Say It Loud – I’m Black and I’m Proud (James Brown, 1968): A protest song by soul singer James Brown

2024:–A Bar Song (Tipsy): A song by Shaboozey about dancing and drinking through hard times 
–Good News: A song by Shaboozey that conveys despair without the use of alcohol or women
–Worthy: A song by Mavis Staples that encourages self-respect
–For Cari: A song by Fletcher that explores self-reflection, self-acceptance, and personal growth
-If this is the last time – A song by LANY that serves as a reminder to tell loved ones how you feel
–Tell me About Tomorrow: A song by jxdn that encourages people to look for hope in times of loneliness and depression
–On: By Chord Overstreet, this song is about unconditional love
–Fix You: A song by Coldplay that is about finding light at the end of the tunnel
The Lighthouse: A song by Stevie Nicks that is considered a woman’s rights anthem 

What is interesting to me is that the list I found from the 1960s addressed external problems of the world: global truths, wars, protests, prejudice, and violence. And yet the ones I found for 2024 were more internal: drinking, despair, self-exploration, self-reflection, or internal processing of the individual.

We turn to music to lighten our mood or identify with the things we are going through. We turn to music to get through those moments when we don’t feel there is any hope. My question is this about the new generation:
Since social media covers so much of the external conflict, violence, and global issues, is that the reason younger people think about the internal conflicts?
Something to think about….

Here are two interesting conversations I found that may give you a perspective from a younger person’s point of view in today’s world:
“During times of great hardship or great happiness, whether it be global or personal, music is so often the medium we turn to in order to convey our joy or to find solace, peace, and comfort. It has the ability to express a sentiment beyond words and is never impeded by cultural barriers: it is universal in the emotion it channels, whatever emotion that may be. As the current crisis tightens its grip on the world and affects every one of our lives, it is no exception that music is something that will help us to endure this time of fear and uncertainty, providing hope and unity to communities across the globe. Throughout history, there have been many examples of how music has been a vessel of strength in the most challenging of times.”—Siobhan Cullinane
https://www.warwickshiremusichub.org/blog/a-brief-history-of-music-in-times-of-hardship

“But what has really helped me over the years has been music. It has been my saving grace; without it, I don’t know how I would’ve made it through. Ever since I was little music has played an important part in my life. I grew up listening to artists such as Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and Backstreet Boys. And I have carried that love of music with me throughout my life. When I am feeling upset, overwhelmed, or happy, there is always music to go with the mood and help me to feel better.”—Rebecca Field
https://medium.com/songstories/how-music-has-helped-me-through-some-tough-times-d1696b9109ff

And here is an interesting list of songs from all over. This author identified these songs (2024) that give her Strength and Courage—Serena Whitfield (2024):
1.         “Eye of The Tiger” By Survivor
2.         “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly
3.         “I Will Survive” By Gloria Gaynor
4.         “Roar” By Katy Perry
5.         “Not Afraid” By Eminem
6.         “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus
7.         “It’s My Life” By Bon Jovi
8.         “Brave” by Sara Bareilles
9.         “Stronger” by Britney Spears
10.       “Courage” By Pink
11.       “Courage” by Céline Dion
12.       “Fight Song” By Rachel Platten
13.       “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson
14.       “Warrior” By Demi Lovato
15.       “Hero” by Mariah Carey
16.       “Unstoppable” By Sia
17.       “Confident” By Demi Lovato
18.       “Stronger” By The Score
19.       “Float On” by Modest Mouse
20.       “Get Up, Stand Up” By Bob Marley & The Wailers
https://playlistcurator.org/songs-about-strength-and-courage/

So, put on your giant list of music that uplifts you on Spotify, or go to KBCO, 99.5 the Mountain, Mix100, or even Kool 105, the oldies channel, and think about what uplifts you in a time where we all need good vibrations.

I love you all and hope you have a great tomorrow!

Generational Wisdom: How Baby Boomers Can Inspire Change

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I originally wrote and posted this on 2012. I have made a few tweaks but think the message is still clear for us Baby Boomers to WAKE UP and shake and move what we can! We need to get on with our lives in new ways!

And, speaking of baby boomers, I never really thought I was old until I saw Al Sharpton on the TV (2012). I thought to myself, “Wow, he really looks old!” Then, he said, “The first time I was allowed to vote was in 1972.” Then, I said to myself, “Holy crap! That was the first year I could vote!”
Next thing you know, I’m looking at myself in the mirror and see the face of a stranger – no wait! It’s my mother! All of us go through these series of difficulties as we grow older. Some of us embrace the changes. Others just get grumpy and afraid.So when exactly did we get so afraid?

I wrote this dialogue in my book Discover the Life You Want to Live. And even though I published it right after the original blog, I believe it’s still worth the read. It just may explain this fear:
What happened to us?
-I’m used to women who went to Alaska to save the birds when the oil spilled.
-I’m used to women who took martial arts and could defend others and themselves and felt good about it.
-I’m used to women police officers, horseback riders and trainers – women who have their own tools!
-What happened to us? What is going on with the new twitter-tweeters (or X), texters, Facebook, bloggers, Instagramers,  all of those crazy people who rant and rave about things that aren’t real. Why are they staying and home and believing what they hear? Why aren’t they stepping outside their homes to do anything? Is there a gene that says we have to become passive and safe after we turn fifty? I’m at a loss when I talk to women who’ve never tried skydiving, or taught juvenile delinquents how to take care of themselves – how to take responsibility despite the fact their family is dysfunctional – women who could nurture, yet at the same time remodel a house, remake a garden, bake bread, or rebuild a car and have their own all-women’s car club!
-What happened to us?  I’ve been spending time together with savvy women who aren’t afraid to invest their own money even after 9/11. They are the kind of women I want in my life all the time. I don’t won’t the whiners – the poor pitiful me types. That really brings me down. When I go there it makes me sad. I still want to live a productive life even if I have to be alone, which is a challenging thing to do sometimes.

After 9/11 why were we so afraid? (I am also adding after the Covid epidemic in 2019 to this fear list.) Safety became so big – we wanted the government to do something about it but we didn’t want government intrusion at the same time (we’ll do it ourselves except we want you to protect us mentality) was what people screamed. Viagra, Paxil, those things we started worrying about more because the ads told us to worry about these conditions. Red Hat Societies started, but what did they really do? Talk a lot and drink a lot of tea? Come on! Where’s the doing? Ads about body hair and other unmentionables for crying out loud! What’s that all about? Reality TV instead of making our own reality? Cable shows getting better and better than regular channels, but we have to pay for it; elections being about women’s bodies, gay rights, and religion; our rights being taken away each and every day. What happened to all these women speaking up in the 1960s and 1970s? We got old and gave up. We worried about health care, instead.

So now I must shout to everyone: “Bahala Na!” or “Come what may!” I read this in a novel called Lost in Shangri-La by Mitchell Zuckoff. It is about women soldiers surviving a plane crash during WWII. They were on a small island on what is now part of the Dominican Republic. They had to survive their injuries – concussions, gangrene due to severe burns from the plane exploding, all while walking in uncharted territory with little or no food, where no non-native woman had ever been. These were some tough women! Why have so many of us never been exposed to this environment? Oh, sure, we’re weekend warriors; we have running clubs, but have we really ever had to survive like they did?

And yet, there are people out there doing this every day. They are unhoused folks. Yes, perhaps they made bad choices somewhere along the lines. Perhaps they overspent, and then lost their homes and their jobs. Perhaps they were living on the edge and addictions got in the way. But, as things get increasingly expensive for all of us, we need to rethink our finances and try to help these people in our community. We have so much wealth where we are today. I mean wealth as a term for our lovely town, of living standards that surpass any other place; for green and sustainable living; for our ability to buy and prepare foods that have been grown locally and being able to eat out in places that are healthy and actually good for us. And one that makes us above the average income of any other place in the country.

I know, I know, you don’t think you have a lot of money because you have to pay off your house, your college, your kids’ college funds. But there are people who have no savings at all. They live day-to-day. And, if they lose their jobs, they plunge more quickly in debt. They are not the dreaded welfare moms image that the Reagan administration foisted on us. People who sometimes need help genuinely want to work and don’t have jobs, not because they are lazy, but because their job was outsourced. Women our age have a lot more influence than I had in the past. Now is the time to use our leverage.

We cannot encourage our young daughters to buy into the Trad Wife mentality. It will only hurt them in the end. We need to have honest conversations with them (turn off the phones during that time!) and I encourage you to read all about this phenomenon. It is quite disturbing and is simply wrong. This concept is making only one person money because they are listening to her. IT IS NOT REAL! Here are some articles that I found that explain this current phenomena:
https://www.parents.com/tradwife-meaning-and-why-its-controversial-8656603
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/persons-of-interest/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-trad-wife

Most of us didn’t come from old world money. We came from middle class America. Our mothers didn’t wear designer clothes while cooking or were the perfect wives. We came from a generation that taught us how to cook and keep a home, but some of our mothers also worked outside the home to make ends meet. We also learned how to pinch pennies in a time when we weren’t paid very much. We came from a generation where we knew women were underpaid and did a lot of work, both in the home and out of it.

Now, we have an opportunity where we can give back. We can teach our daughters to understand the 1950s family is not real. We can become the mothers and fathers to others. We can become role models to the people who have never had one. We can teach others how to live within their means, no matter how meager it is. We can give others a chance to survive in this world.

Material things aren’t the most important things in life. We can learn this lesson and teach others how to understand that survival and safety come first. If we are good cooks and bakers, we can help others make their own hearty meals. We can volunteer at community centers and kitchens. We can teach them how making their own food makes the house smell wonderful, and they learn how to be a family by eating and cooking together. We help ourselves and others by turning off the devises, and TV to learn how to appreciate what is free in life. We learn to take a good walk. If we grow personally, we get ideas to stimulate growth in others. Ideas escalate to useful concepts for humanity. Only then can visions of paradise become reality.

I love you all and will walk this path with you if you want. Hugs to all on this cold day!

Stephen Wurzel – the Man, the Myth, the Legend

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As we wind up our story, I wanted to first give recognition to Stephen’s children. I talked about his youngest in the last piece and how he worked for NCAR. He actually has a master’s degree in  environmental science, not just “a” degree. He is married to Alyssa and has a beautiful daughter named Cadence who is currently 18 months old. Benjamin, his oldest child, has a master’s degree in student affairs and higher education from Colorado State University. He works as a career counselor at the University of Colorado. Hi wife’s name is Miho (an incredible sushi chef) and Chiyo is his five-year-old daughter.

I asked Stephen to take the Dru’s 14 Essential Questions Questionnaire, and here are some of the tales he gave me: When asked how he learned, he said he reads a vast number of books. He stated that he felt like he was a natural at the healing arts. He likes to talk to people, and also teach others. He’ll go to the Reservoir on a full moon and teach people how to meditate. He learns by just “jumping in” and by sense of touch. He trusts his intuition and can quiet his mind through meditation. Every day he wakes up and sets his intention before he gets out of bed.

When asked what his Code of Life is, he had a simple, yet beautiful answer: “Be open to everything and everyone.” (Mine is a long paragraph. I loved this!)

Stephen’s vision is to “Live in the Now. And live for the Future. Become one with whatever’s in front of you. Go through trying times by keeping your center.” As a former martial artist, I appreciate this sentiment. Our lives seem to center around center, or what the Japanese call Hara. It literally means soft belly, but an extension of the meaning in a spiritual sense is that Hara refers to a person’s true self, or who they truly are as a human being. It’s seen as the unification of a person’s physical, spiritual, and psychological dimensions (Mind, Body, Spirit).

I asked what is the big picture for him? He said, being with his family and friends and having that community connection is the most important aspect of his world. (Stephen works for Sister Carmen to help those in need. He also works with Feed Forward through Unity Church to hand out warm burritos for the unhoused folks in Boulder.) And he runs a meditation class every Saturday morning at the Louisville Recreation Center. How cool is that? I am looking forward to attending this class.

Stephen says his biggest fear is losing his wife. They are indeed true partners in every sense, and he worries about this sometimes. “How do you feel?” is my classic question for everyone. I took it from the Star Trek IV movie where Spock’s mother asked him this question. He literally was dead, was reborn, and taken back to Vulcan to relearn everything. He is only half Vulcan and his mother is human. Since the Vulcans suppress their emotions, he was constantly on the alert. (Okay just look it up!) At the end of the movie, he tells his father to tell his mother: “I feel fine.”

Stephen’s response to “How do you feel?” was “I feel in the flow and have been at peace for fifty years. He feels right now that everything is perfect in his life. He still has to work at it, but it’s like body surfing through life. He told me not to stop at the sand, just keep going.

Finally, I asked him what would his perfect day be? He told me that right now, every day is perfect. But, if he had to pick, his perfect day would be to continue with Soul Massage, and the people that he can work with, walking with his wife, hanging out with his family, and going to the hot springs. How can we get any better than that? Stephen hopes to continue his life by living it spirit-filled, living moment to moment.

“Man is a mystery. It needs to be unraveled, and if you spend your whole life unravelling it, don’t say that you’ve wasted time.”—Fyodor Dostoevsky.
I hope this story inspires you to live your best life and unravel your own mysterious secrets. People are out there listening. It just takes a little effort to find them.

If you are interested in taking the Questionnaire and being interviewed by me, feel free to contact me at dru_tieben@comcast.net. Please do not send any mean/hate emails. I will not respond. Everyone has a remarkable story to tell. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Love to all!

The Journey of Stephen Wurzel: From Sales to Entrepreneurship

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We continue our story in Part IV of Stephen Wurzel’s life. After their seven months tour of the USA, Stephen and his wife came back to New York and stayed with Janice’s parents who lived in Port Washington. It was a small town on the North Shore and had a laid-back country feel. Stephen’s father-in-law was an old-fashioned country doctor and still made house calls. They lived in a brick house, with the Doctor’s office in the basement.

Stephen got a job with Panduit Corporation, which was out of Tinsley Park, Illinois. According to their website, Panduit Corp. develops and provides physical infrastructure solutions, networking equipment for businesses. The Company manufactures cabinets, racks, cable ties, copper systems, fiber optic systems, grounding systems, identification and labeling systems, and installation tools. Stephen became a traveling salesperson for the company and had a territory which included New York. They bought a small house in Tuxedo Park NY which included an acre of land with tall trees, close to a golf course. Their family began there with the birth of their first-born son.

In 1984, Stephen’s dad worked for Tridon Automotive parts, and they built a plant out in Nashville Tennessee. His dad asked him to come to Nashville and be his sales manager. Stephen said he was fairly good at it so went to talk to his wife. After much discussion, he and his wife decided to move there. Janice would miss her family and friends, but she agreed to this next step in their lives. She was pregnant with their second child at that time. They bought a house there and when they were driving out, they were 45 minutes out from the city and the baby was coming! They had their second baby in the car on the highway! They raised their family and developed so many friends over the 35 years that they lived there. While in Nashville, Stephen’s dad started another company and bought out his partner. Stephen started a media company and became the salesperson for Marketforce Media. He learned how to shoot commercials for scripted ads for automotive parts companies. He collaborated with companies to purchase time for scripted ads for television and became known for this talent. People came from all over the world to learn and shoot commercials with him. In 2012, his parents died within a brief time of each other, and he sold the company. Stephen was able to help quite a few people in the auto parts and media business related to this industry, so much so that he was able to retire at 62.

Stephen worked in Chattanooga at an office that was above a Yoga studio called SISU (meaning Strength of Will) and he learned about emergence care and soul massage. His youngest son was living there, and he had a small apartment. He practiced with the people of this studio and survived the pandemic. Stephen’s youngest son got his degree in Chattanooga at Suwanee University in Environmental Science and moved out to Colorado. He is at UCAR in Boulder. Stephen’s oldest was also in Colorado practicing and working, so after 35 years, Janice and Stephen decided to move here. The move was more dramatic as they left so many friends behind, but it was meant to be. The boys got married and Stephen and Janice are now grandparents. It’s hard to fathom how a young English Literature and Philosophy major from SUNY became an entrepreneur and so much more.

No matter where we come from, we all have so many opportunities to be good at something even if don’t think we are, and then thrive with our choices. I hope you take this example of a great person and live your life to the fullest!

Concluding in Part V tomorrow!

Stephen Wurzel’s Adult World in New York and Cross-Country Adventure

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Stephen Wurzel’s adventures continue in Part III.
A final note on his Arkansas farm. I asked him about a farm that existed but closed down in 2021 due to Covid. It was an amazing place called Hazel Valley Farms. They had a beautiful place to visit with horses, gardens, and bike trails in Hazel Valley. He said he didn’t know them, and they weren’t a part of his group. However, he commented that that were better gardeners than them! They have a Facebook page if you want to visit and see the spectacular pictures. I don’t know if they’re still posting:
https://www.facebook.com/hazelvalleyfarms/photos/?_rdr
Another amazing place that I think would be fun to visit and talk to the folks who run it is the Co-op in Eureka Springs, AR. They have an amazing farm and even more amazing food! What a remarkable thing to be able to grow beautiful food like they have on the website:
https://onf.coop/community/hazel-valley

Stephen told me that they did have another group living down the road from them and the farm was called DomeLand. They all lived in self-built geodesic domes. He said that it was a very cool place, and they were friends with all of them. I couldn’t find anything online that a dome farm still exists, but there are interesting domes that you can book a stay at when you visit! How cool is that?

*****

Stephen finally made it back to New York from the Arkansas experience and met and married his wife, a beautiful woman named Janice. They lived in a little place on the waterfront, at Jones Beach in Long Island and they worked at a restaurant called Santosha (which means Contentment in Sanskrit). He was the chef and Janice was a waitress. The winter locked them in for three months, so the restaurant was closed during that time. They needed a better source of income!

Stephen’s next venture took him into the landscape design business. When he was in Japan, he loved all of the cultivated gardens they had and wanted to help create this same beauty in New York. He got to know a lot of famous people including the producer for All My Children, so his business took off. He created an exceptionally reliable workforce, and his reputation grew. The hours were fantastic, and they were able to work nine months out of the year. His clientele had a lot of money so asked for the best. The business grew and thrived, but he wanted to give Janice an adventure of her own. In 1978, he sold the business and made a nice profit. That summer, they took a cross-country trip across the states. He was so excited to show her the beauty of America. After the trip, they moved back to New York one more time for the next phase of their lives. I definitely identified with the cross-country adventure. I didn’t have a lot of money but packed my little car and drove out to Colorado in early 1980. I think that is a wonderful experience for everyone to consider when they are young.

Stay tuned for Part IV.