Pause and Breathe and Schedule Worry Time

Today seemed more stressful than others because I have a lot on my plate right now. So, of course I went searching on the web and found a bazillion articles on this subject. I found so many similarities of what to do but, this Calm website focused it a little for me. I don’t agree with everything, and decided to analyze what they were saying.
https://blog.calm.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-feel-overwhelmed

Every self-help article has the classic how-to list regarding how to feel less overwhelmed. I feel I have embraced most of them and yet there are just those days. Here are a few of those listed from this website:

The first of the 12 on their list was to just pause and breathe. I tell this to people all the time and yet it is a hard step for me.

These articles always talk about talking to other people. I am good at that, but it doesn’t always solve the immediate problem. So I usually end up helping others solve their problem.

Meditation is another one that’s listed. I have a friend who runs a meditation class but my brain doesn’t shut off. It’s a practice, I know. So the main problem is how to schedule this time for the practice, right?

Journaling is always listed. I journal each day and try to let go of the day, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It just brings all the thoughts into more focus.

And of course every article tells you to get some sleep. Well, I can tell you I am like the woman on the show High Potential and sleep never happens easily. Neither of us know how to shut down our brains. I am so enamored of people who can actually sleep 8 hours a day. I have never been able to do that. And pills make me crazy the next day so I gave up on that!

There is always the Focus on What You Can Control. When did that ever work?

Get moving! I definitely know how to exercise and that has helped. And once the weather gears toward spring, I’ll be out in my garden. That is the best for me!

Break larger tasks into smaller steps. Trust me, I am the queen of spreadsheets and that still doesn’t help. You still have to do all of those things you have broken down so how does that help?

And finally, this was a laughable one: Schedule Worry Time. The article said, “Set aside a specific time to think about your worries. Outside of this time, try to keep your focus on the present.” Unfortunately, the worries are the focus in every present moment so I didn’t get that one. Who can do that?

So, I know baking, knitting, gardening, and walks in nature help me. I can bake, knit, and walk inside right now. I know we are in a time of chaos, and the status will eventually reach equilibrium. If we can be vigilant with our thoughts and actions we can get through the day without being overwhelmed. That’s what I am working on and hope the sun will come out soon. I love you all and feel the intensity of the world right now. Hang in there!

https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/cat-hanging-in-there

Old Person Day and Geeky Moments

Being in the present moment, and recognizing that some days are just me being an Old Person, made me laugh out loud and enjoy every minute of this day. Today I tried to continue my research on care giving, but found out it’s a holiday and every agency is closed. So, after all of my errands, eye doctor, trying to find eggs at a reasonable price (HA!) without success, unloading and loading the dishes, and laundry, I settled down (if you can count being buzzed on caffeine!) at my computer.

Today, I learned two things:
1.         How to upload Instagram and follow someone. Big steps! I put my profile together but haven’t sent anything yet. I am following a couple of people but wanted to give a shout out to Aron to what he is accomplishing:
https://www.instagram.com/generationalopportunities/
He and a few others are creating something wonderful with kids and schools in Thornton, so check them out. I love it and am going to volunteer for them this summer (if they’ll have me)! We could all use their energy and talent in helping young people.

2.         Creating a Logo for my blog and books using Fiverr. I look forward to learning more about this when I finish my next books and want them to help me create the covers. I added it to the blog website and I think it’s not too bad for a first try! The project I’ll be working on next will be a sort of checklist for people who want to create their own S.O.P.s (Standard Operating Procedures Manual). I loved creating these set of instructions for my old jobs, and am now working on helping people create their own life instruction manual. Didn’t we all want something like this when we were growing up? I know I did. Parents don’t know everything and I have read soooooo many different books on the subject. I think I can do a good job of expanding on my first book which was kind of a manual (Discover the Life You Want to Live).

Being able to look back on all my agonies and mistakes from the past makes me hopeful that I can pass on my wisdom to others, along with a lot of funny stories about my crazy life! When I look back I see that I actually accomplished something, I think it’s worth a try to help others. After all, we seniors have time, right? (Lots of smile emojis with tongues out should follow this statement.)

Embracing our past triumphs and failures should be number one on our list of life. The second should always be helping others however we can. People don’t always reach out to each other, but we can change that and ask, “How are you doing today?” Maybe that will start a conversation. Love to all tonight and keep learning!

My Mother and the Zombie Apocalypse – Revisited

I originally wrote this in 2013 when I first started blogging and thought it was relevant to today’s ills. With a few tweaks, here it is for your perusal:

I wonder what my mother would have thought about zombies taking over the world, or what some of us affectionately call “The Zombie Apocalypse.”  Would she have picked up my father’s rifle when she saw them come onto the farm? Would she have aimed and blown them away? Or would she cower inside her house and simply die?

I’d like to think that she would revert back to her old self – that self-confident young woman who went out into the world like That Girl, (a sitcom starring Marlo Thomas) the person she was before settling down into domesticity – marrying my father when he came home from the War (WWII) and having children.

I’d like to think she would be one of those folks who could defend herself and others – and generally take care of business to survive.

The world would certainly be different for her (and for us) if we had another catastrophic event. We would have to relearn how to take care of ourselves and keep ourselves alive. We would have to bring back those skills that we knew from a very long time ago, before convenience food and staying in touch all the time came into play. We would have to survive, not watch Survivor.

We go through a series of ups and downs as we grow older. Some of us embrace change. Others just sit on the sidelines, get grumpy, complain a lot, and become more afraid. Yes, we are getting older, but are we getting wiser? Here is an excerpt from my book, Discover the Life You Want to Live, about this very subject:

  • Each of us grows older every day. It’s how we continue to use our time that makes us wiser. What makes a wise person? It is a person we can respect. It is a person who is a hopeless romantic and a reluctant leader. This person has learned capabilities as well as intuitiveness. It is a person who can learn about new things every day. It is a person who has achieved mastery in something. A wise person gives a little to someone each day to make her life better. This is what I am working on as I get older – to be a wise person who is a role model, and a person that people will respect.
  • We are all getting older, but are we getting wiser? Are we learning and contributing something to society each day through our actions? Ask yourself, “Why should people listen to me?”  “What right do I have to give advice either to my peers or the younger generation?”  If you believe you have achieved everything you asked of yourself, in the above questions, then you have earned the right to be called a wise woman and be respected.
  • Women’s studies describe three archetypes of women:  maiden, mother, and crone. The wise women were known as Crones. A Crone is an idea that we can all embody to help the younger women (maidens). And, with modern medicine, we can become older mothers, which let us bridge the gap between all three. We can create a community that helps each other.

We do get older every day. That’s a fact of life. If we can believe in ourselves, do something good and stop with the “I cant’s,” we can make a plan for what’s to come. We can try to reduce the panic among our neighbors and ourselves if we just check on each other each day.

We can be happy with our lives when we finally leave this world if we can continue to do enough by helping those in need. Watching the news is a nightmare right now. If we can sit back for a peaceful moment each night and prepare for the next day, we’ll be okay. Check in with your neighbors and ignore the nonsense. Yes, things may get worse before it’s better, but we can take care of each other, if we choose this path.

It takes more time and energy to sit around and complain about everything. We have to take this energy and fix the very thing about which we are complaining. Become involved in the little things. And then, maybe we will survive in a Zombie-infested world because we have helped each other every day we live. Love to all on this planet tonight. WE WILL SURVIVE!

Play to Your Strengths – About Care Giving

It was recently pointed out to me that I was good at researching topics and steering people in the right direction to get something done. I am especially good when it comes to making hard life decisions about loved ones when they need help. I took an inventory of what I knew and what I needed to learn about when it came to aging and care giving (family members and myself). I would like to share some things I figured out by starting with what I am good at:

I am good at cleaning up messes;
I am good at organizing everything;
I am good at researching a topic;
I am good at making lists and spreadsheets;
I am good at creating instruction manuals (Manuals in all the departments I worked in and a Manual for Life. (See my book Discover the Life You Want to Live);
I am good at helping others make decisions in their best interests.

I am good at researching and giving advice, but not so good at my actual caring process, so I am working on that! So my next step is to create a manual for my spouse and kiddo which will be advice and care instructions for an aging parent. I will try and explain more in the next few days after I’ve fully researched the topic. If you have advice, please send it to me! Also, here is a cool website that I am using: https://www.agingcare.com/topics

Love to all tonight! Stay warm and safe!

A Day of Love – Happy Valentine’s Day

This is my 100th blog today. So excited that I believed in myself and kept at it!

I just read a book by Julie Ann Hatcher called Not Quite By the Book. It was the perfect Valentine’s day read. Nothing serious, but a sweet book about love in a younger person’s voice. Although I’m not a poetry devotee, I’ve tried my hand at it and read a few of the books that were required reading in high school and college. Hatcher’s protagonist is in love with Emily Dickinson and attempts to emulate her only to discover that her words speak to her, but Dickinson’s lifestyle does not. I thought this would be the perfect introduction to my survey about love:
https://drutieben.com/2025/01/15/valentines-day-questionnaire/

Although I did not get many responses, I want to share what I discovered in others.

1.         My first response came from a retired college professor emeritus. He uploaded it as a comment on the original blog post. Here is a recap as he didn’t exactly follow the 4 questions. I love it!
My wife is the love of my life. We celebrate our 50th anniversary this year. I have lots of falling-in-love memories. I was playing in a flag football game and coming off the field, saw the deep blue skies and rolling clouds against the mountains and stood gawking for a second. Turns out, my wife had been trying to draw notice of the sky before I came by. Our mutual love of that beautiful day helped draw us together.
Looking back, I now see love as an ongoing choice and commitment, almost a habit but sometimes very intentional and effortful. Love is the deep undercurrent that often goes unnoticed and other times you have to fight for. There’s no defining it really. Nothing that close to the core can ever be understood.

Here are the responses by the question I asked:
1.         What is your best memory of when you fell in love?
–Meeting someone at work;
–The day I feel in love was in November 2018 when I gave birth to my amazing daughter;
–Midnight rides along Skyline Drive from Lake Merritt in Oakland to Tilden Park in Berkeley, then roaming down to a 24-hour diner at sea level to have breakfast. The views out across the San Francisco Bay toward the Golden Gate Bridge were spectacular;
–My love and I went dancing on our first date and we were dancing. I felt so good in his arms.
–My boyfriend and I were playing Scrabble, and it turned into a friendly wresting match when a tile spilled onto the floor and under the couch. Retrieving it to see who won the game, I looked deep into his eyes and dared him to say what he was thinking. He quickly found the right tiles and put them on the board. He spelled: I LOVE YOU;
–I first met my husband-to-be on the mat at the Colorado Mountain College during an Aikido meet. We looked at each other and starting throwing each other around. It was intense week, and a prelude to what was to become.

2.         Who is/was the love of your life?
–Husband;
–My six-year-old daughter. She changed my entire world;
–My husband of 51 years;
–My sweet husband found me when I was 17 and we were married almost 50 years before Covid took his life. It’s been over 4 years and I look forward to being with him in the eternity-each day the thought “ONE DAY CLOSER” gets me through the pain and longing for his sweet hugs and kisses;
–My husband and son. They get me through all the ups and downs in my life. They are there for me and love me as I do.

3.         How do you feel about love now?
–Better late than never! We’re in our 70’s so we’re reconnected;
–I used to believe the ultimate love was a romantic love. Now, I know the absolute epitome of unconditional and perfect love can be the children we’re blessed to have and watch them grow:
–Comfortable. It’s different from the heady feeling of my twenties.
–I have been totally on my own since 2008 with a few one-time dates here and there;
–Love of family and friends is the most important thing in life—it’s not jus a ‘feeling,’ it’s a commitment to share, help, support, and enjoy each other. It’s work. It’s worth it!
–Stronger and deeper than before.

4.         What would your perfect day be if you could do anything you wanted with the person you love?
–Trip to the mountains and a nice dinner (with wine!);
–Spending the day relaxing, exploring, and spending time with family;
–Taking a scenic road trip, and stroll through small town streets;
–Going on a nature walk; later getting together to get a delicious dinner and maybe listening to some romantic music and dancing in a beautiful setting;
–It would being with the one that passed away again – to say ‘I love you,’ one more time;
–My spouse and I would fly up in a spaceship to circle the earth, looking down from above, appreciate its vastness, explicitness, and its beauty, free fall outside the ship, then return home in time for dinner. (This was my personal answer!)

Thank you everyone who participated in the survey. It was heartwarming to read all of your thoughts on love. We all love in different ways and connect forever to those whose love is meant to be. Here are some quotes to reflect on today:
“Love is the little silver thread connecting all of humanity, around the globe, century to century, forevermore.”—Julie Ann Hatcher
“Let love be your inspiration.”—Julie Ann Hatcher
“Those we love never truly die. They live on with us and in our hearts….our love gave them mortality.”—Julie Ann Hatcher on Emily Dickinson

And a poem by one of my Senior Choir buddies:
A White Rose, by John Boyle O’Reilly
THE red rose whispers of passion,
  And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
  And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
  With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
  Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your moments with your loved ones tonight! Order in or cook and binge watch C.B. Strike! Love to all!

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz-Part III

The final part of this message concludes the analysis of the Four Agreements. Here are the last two:

The third agreement, Don’t Make Assumptions reminds us to get the facts before assuming the information is true. Assumptions are based on our bias, past experiences, and fears. They can distort reality. We must discern the truth in order to understand the message. We conflict with the person because we take it personally and as a result our feelings are hurt. It is best to learn how to ask good questions to seek the truth. Assume nothing. Others may not know what we think or talk over us. Open communication can allow us to talk rationally and connect without dram. It’s a way to transform our sadness and drama. Ask for what you want and be content if the answer is no. Finally, this is a hard one: Relinquish the need to change others. Real love is accepting other people the way they are. They may not think like you, but that’s okay. Speak your mind, but try and let go. Agree to Disagree and move on.

The fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best emphasizes the importance of giving your all to every action and decision. But remember that your best changes due to your circumstances, health, mood, and a myriad of other factors. If you spiral in the trap of judging yourself or others too harshly, you will regret your actions. Sometimes people don’t meet our expectations and vice versa. If we can continue to stay in the present moment, and take actions on our ideas, we will get results. We will accomplish a great deal if we commit to action without reward. If we receive a reward, it is fantastic. But the doing is the most important topic in this case. Realize that the action may not be perfect. But we aren’t perfect. We aim towards mastery, but achieve as much as we can every day. Having a balance approach to life can help us reduce stress and be more resilient.

We strive for freedom, happiness, and love if we can delve into these agreements with others and ourselves. We can all have a profound impact if we create a daily practice, and cultivate our lives into being authentic, understanding, and attaining peace. I love you all tonight and hope you attain everything you wish. Hug your loved ones and keep them safe and warm, and always close to your heart.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz-Part II

This is an extension of Tuesday’s blog with a more in-depth analysis. Ruiz believes we have been taught since childhood to “…fit into society’s mold,” which made us forget who our “true selves” are. If we can adopt the Four Agreements as part of our lifestyle, we might break through these limitations. Why wouldn’t we want to live a life of freedom, happiness, and love?

The first agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, is a powerful understatement. Our words are a power that create influence on everything. Words are not just sounds or symbols. Nuances carry energy and intention. They can heal, harm, uplift, or degrade. Every time we speak we can go in a direction of positive or negative. Inflection is key, and your intentions manifest through your outspoken thoughts. Negative and hateful speeches can bring doom and gloom to any conversation and create a world which we don’t want to live. Remember your history. This happened many years ago in Germany. A horrible leader used his words to manipulate a whole country, mostly intelligent people, into committing the most atrocious acts and enter them into a World War. Humans destroyed each other because he activated their fear. They became afraid of each other. Ruiz stated that “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.” Being impeccable with our word can transform us, create a better belief system, and foster loving and healthier relationships.

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally, delves into the idea that people’s actions and words are reflections of their own beliefs and emotional states, not necessarily about us. When people react negatively to what is said to them, and they don’t believe the information is the truth, it is due to the fact that they are actually struggling internally to some message they know isn’t true. They stand by a belief or misinformation. They believe they are in the right. The vulnerability of this emotional turmoil makes us hurt, angry, or defensive, and we lash out. If we can take a step back and not be swayed by either praise or criticism, we become more emotionally stable. If we can have honest conversations and agree to disagree, we can make progress. In the movie, Dr. Strange, he is confronted by the Ancient One on a roof top in New York. Dr. Strange had a terrible car accident which crippled his hands (he was a neurosurgeon). In the conversation the Ancient One reminds Strange of his fear of failure. Strange thinks it’s what made him a great doctor. The Ancient One told him that fear was what actually kept him from true greatness. She tells him that was why he never found true happiness. Her last words to him were: “It’s not about you.” So let’s look outside ourselves, our fears and move beyond “taking it personally,” we might learn something new about the rest of the world. Ruiz states: “If you live without fear, if you love, there is no place for any of those emotions.”

Two favorite quotes of the day. Something to think about:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”― Maya Angelou; and
“When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you’re using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?”—Ron Howard

Part III tomorrow on the third and fourth agreement. I love you all and hope you take a moment to reflect what’s holding you back to embrace love in the universe and yourselves.

What Liberal Means

I’m Sharing It!!! WOW!!! Thank you Ron Howard.

Ron Howard has summed up what many of us believe. Including me….

“I’m a liberal, but that doesn’t mean what a lot of you apparently think it does. Let’s break it down, shall we? Because quite frankly, I’m getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. Spoiler alert: not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines:

1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. PERIOD.

2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that’s interpreted as “I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all.” This is not the case. I’m fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it’s impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes “let people die because they can’t afford healthcare” a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I’m not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen.

3. I believe education should be affordable. It doesn’t necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I’m mystified as to why it can’t work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt.

4. I don’t believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don’t want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can’t afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist.

5. I don’t throw around “I’m willing to pay higher taxes” lightly. If I’m suggesting something that involves paying more, well, it’s because I’m fine with paying my share as long as it’s actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare.

6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water. Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion-dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn’t have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live.

7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. (BTW, prayer in school is NOT illegal; *compulsory* prayer in school is – and should be – illegal). All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I’m not “offended by Christianity” — I’m offended that you’re trying to force me to live by your religion’s rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia law on you? That’s how I feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on me. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don’t force it on me or mine.

8. I don’t believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe they should have the *same* rights as you.

9. I don’t believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN’T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they’re supposed to be abusing, and if they’re “stealing” your job it’s because your employer is hiring illegally). I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc).

10. I don’t believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc. It’s not that I want the government’s hands in everything — I just don’t trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc. are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they’re harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation.

11. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I can’t get over an election, but because I’ve spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past.

12. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think, and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege — white, straight, male, economic, etc. — need to start listening, even if you don’t like what you’re hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that’s causing people to be marginalized.

13. I am not interested in coming after your blessed guns, nor is anyone serving in government. What I am interested in is the enforcement of present laws and enacting new, common sense gun regulations. Got another opinion? Put it on your page, not mine.

14. I believe in so-called political correctness. I prefer to think it’s social politeness. If I call you Chuck and you say you prefer to be called Charles I’ll call you Charles. It’s the polite thing to do. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you’re using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?

15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else.

16. I believe that women should not be treated as a separate class of human. They should be paid the same as men who do the same work, should have the same rights as men and should be free from abuse. Why on earth shouldn’t they be?

I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I’m a liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn’t mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don’t believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved.”

Ron Howard

The Four Agreements – By Don Miguel Ruiz

I re-visited this book today. The author, Don Miguel Ruiz, was born in rural Mexico, the youngest of 13 children. He attended medical school, and became a surgeon. The Four Agreements, published in 1997, was a New York Times bestseller for more than a decade.

In this time of outrageous people (and news) who rant on the TV and computer I recommend you read this if you haven’t already. It presents a code for personal freedom based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The four agreements are:

1.         Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean in the kindest of ways, and use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Words are powerful tools and we know that they can create or destroy, uplift, or bring down. Being impeccable with your word means not using words against yourself or others. Gossip, lies, and negative self-talk are examples of being non-impeccable. By being careful and truthful in our speech, we can avoid causing harm and instead spread positivity.

2.         Don’t Take Anything Personally.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. People’s reactions and behaviors are often based on their own beliefs, experiences, and wounds. By not taking things personally, we protect ourselves from unnecessary hurt. For instance, if someone insults you, it’s more about their own issues than about you. Recognizing this helps in maintaining emotional equilibrium and not getting entangled in other people’s dramas.

3.         Don’t Make Assumptions.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. Making assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Don’t assume people are ignoring you if they don’t return calls or get back to you. Talk to them when you see them again. Seek clarity and not making assumptions, we can navigate our relationships and situations more effectively.

4.         Always Do Your Best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. By always doing our best, we live without regrets. It’s important to understand that “our best” can vary. Some days we might be full of energy and enthusiasm, while on others we might be tired or unwell. The key is to give the best of what we have in the present moment, without being overly critical of ourselves.
https://booksthatslay.com/the-4-agreements-summary/

I have seen these written as a poster many times and recommend you buy or download it and put it on your refrigerator!

More on this topic tomorrow night. Love to all on this cold night! Take care of each other!

Immersed in Tax Preparation

Today I am frazzled after spending all day preparing for our tax appointment. I have been reading all the IRS deduction insaneness, H&R Block messages, and doing all of the Excel spreadsheets for medical and business expenses (that we probably won’t be allowed to count). So much work and so little return (pun intended). I hope your taxes are easier to file!

So nothing groundbreaking, just fun tax puns. Enjoy!

https://parade.com/1316855/jessicasager/accounting-puns/

I love you all and hope your tax preparation isn’t back-breaking!