Lemons and Legacy

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It doesn’t seem like these two things are related, but hear me out. I went to lunch and afterwards went to swim in the pool. I was thinking about my baking and how I was going to send my kiddo some of the chai shortbread. And then I thought, “Ooh, the lemon shortbread is also good and I should bake those, too!” Which of course led me to, “I’ve gotta put that on the grocery list.” So, here I am making that mental list. Then, I sang our choir songs for a while, (I water walk/swim for an hour), and then my thoughts moved on to: “Why do we think lemons are a metaphor for bad things?” (This is my brain exercise and I have been turning into Sheldon from Big Bang Theory for years!)

The word lemon brings thoughts of something being poor, bad, or broken, or giving an unsatisfactory answer. Lemon symbolizes something that looks sweet but is bitter to the taste so that could mean negativity, disappointment, betrayal, or a bad or bitter experience. Finally lemon can be a metaphor for a defective product, for example a car that looks good on the outside but has significant flaws or problems underneath.

Next, I started thinking about the news (Pod Save America hosts were on Colbert last night) and thus my thoughts went a little downhill from there.

Over these last few days, the news has been somewhat abysmal, yet there are some highlights that I have been contemplating about, such as the loss of two great men in my lifetime, one more recent than the other – Martin Luther King and President Jimmy Carter. They left a legacy that will be hard for anyone to follow.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s greatest achievements include leading the civil rights movement, organizing nonviolent protests, and delivering his famous I Have a Dream speech at the march on Washington in 1963. The speech called for an end to segregation and racism in the United States.
-He was a leader of the modern American Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s, organizing and leading marches and boycotts.
-He was a catalyst for the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
-He organized nonviolent protests, advocating for nonviolent methods.
-King led the Montgomery Bus Boycott, a nonviolent protest that lasted over a year.
-He refused to allow violence, prison, or the threat of death to sway his goals. 
-In 1964, King became the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

I was young when the civil rights riots took place, but growing up in the south you were exposed to that hatred and fear so it was absorbed into your very bones. I believed in Dr. King’s fight and contemplated how I might make a difference in the future. The injustices that occurred back then cannot be undone, and yet some of us learned that if we kept fighting, one neighborhood at a time, we could help others who didn’t look like us get the justice they deserved. Some of us still have hate in our hearts, but I will continue to strive to overcome that hate in others every day that I am on this earth. I commit small acts of kindness every day and that’s what I can do right now. I believe in Martin Luther King’s legacy. His message and model have reminded us over the years how to combat inequality today. 

Jimmy Carter might not have been the greatest president, but he made great strides. Here are some of the facts about him:
-As president, Carter pardoned all Vietnam draft evaders and negotiated several major foreign policy agreements, including the Camp David Accords, the Panama Canal Treaties, and the second round of Strategic Arms Limitation Talks, and he established diplomatic relations with China. He also confronted stagflation.
-As president, he set out to increase human and social services. He created the Department of Education, bolstered the Social Security system, and appointed record numbers of women, blacks, and Hispanics to Government jobs. In foreign affairs, Carter set his own style.
-After his presidency, President Carter emerged as a champion of human rights and worked for several charitable causes. He and his wife Rosalynn traveled as freelance ambassadors all over the world to help others. In 1982, he established the Carter Center to promote and expand human rights, which earned him a Nobel Peace Prize in 2002. He traveled extensively to conduct peace negotiations, monitor elections and further the eradication of infectious diseases. Their dedication to eradicating Guinea worm disease (dracunculiasis) was exemplary. Under his championship cases dropped from 3.5 million in the mid-1980s to just eleven cases so far in 2024.
-Additionally, Carter worked with Habitat for Humanity International, an organization that works worldwide to provide housing for underprivileged people. Through such projects, Carter has maintained a high profile; he was often seen on television, wielding a hammer, and helping with Habitat home construction or providing his opinions on the issues of the day.

I grew up in Georgia and remembered visiting his hometown when I was young. I never met him, but people loved him. I campaigned and voted for him when I was in college and was so proud people listened to me and also voted for him. His legacy inspired me to give to needy causes such as Habitat for Humanity, and volunteer and work on various local projects over the years.

So when we Lemons need to change our image (and thoughts, and actions…), we need to make lemonade and create our own legacy. Life may give you lemons every day, but you can make your own lemonade (or lemon melt-away shortbread cookies!) and find your way to overcome the challenges presented to you and keep a positive attitude no matter what happens. Do something great every day. Forgive and be happy with the accomplishments you’ve made in your lifetime so far. Achieve your lifelong dream no matter how old you are and forget about the naysayers and crazies for a little while because no one that I know of can predict my future. I love you all and send you warm wishes!

Future Forecasts and Creepy Sounds in the Night

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We are still fearful animals when things aren’t going the way we expect them to, or darkness and cold overwhelm us at nighttime. Why do we jump to noises in the night? It’s because our animal instincts arise in the dark (or dark times). Our caveman/woman comes out and our fears overwhelm us. We don’t want to get eaten by creatures in the night.

Today that translates as we want everything to go our way, and there are millions of opinions about what that way is. And yet, our brain tells us that we keep expecting others in positions of power to do everything we want them to do. Unfortunately, these people are just as human as we are, and they want to stay in power, so fearmongering is what they do, causing the rampant escalation of speculation.

So, we continue to get frightened in the dark, and can’t get out of our depression. Sometimes we lose our motivation and don’t know how to get it back. Sometimes we just have to sit and think. And, then we must move on from that state of mind. We must push away the darkness and move forward freely and lovingly with each other. We must take back control of our own minds.

It’s hard to maintain positivity in our actions when we don’t know what our future holds. And depression can have such a devastating effect on a person’s health and wellbeing. So let’s try to uplift each other with positive thinking. Pay it forward and keep on sending out good vibrations. Exercise and connect with friends when possible. Walk and talk with each other, giving encouragement and keeping the negative talk at bay. Cook and eat delicious meals with each other on a regular basis and talk about your day. Set your priorities with your tasks and break big overwhelming tasks into smaller ones. Do what you can when you can. Face your fears. Don’t avoid the things that are difficult. Embrace the challenge. And finally, be patient with yourself. That is probably my biggest  problem. I want to do everything and be everywhere, all at once. I want to follow that everything bagel to take over and make my life simpler and tell me that nothing matters. (See that movie!!!) But I know that’s not what I need.

So yes, life is difficult. We don’t always need others to over-explain things to us. We are all knowledgeable humans in differing ways. Sometimes, we just want others to actively listen to us, and acknowledge something we said with just a nod or say, “Oh, that’s so cool!” And, sometimes, we want people just to do something for others and motivate others freely without complaining about the situation. Sometimes, we want others to think beyond themselves and stop saying, “That doesn’t work for me.” OF COURSE all of the things don’t always work for you or me, but at least try to go around the obstacle and think of a better way to solve the problem. So, stop saying that. It’s really not productive.

It’s time we push our fears of the dark and the creatures that go bump in the night, and give a helping hand to others who are struggling with life. It’s time to give an ear to someone who needs us. It’s time we release the egocentric and move on to the altruistic side of the pendulum. Do something good every day for the rest of your life and you might balance the scales. I hope you have a safe drive out in this cold world and a warm and cozy night. Love and hugs to all.

Sundays and Happiness

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Sundays always seem to be the longest day, especially when it’s cold outside. I try to do all of the things that I haven’t finished during the week, but sometimes it’s just a soup and enjoyable book day. My worries won’t all go away, and I drink too much caffeine, but I called the kiddo and told him I loved him. I hugged my husband and tried to be at peace. I will try and finish what I can and move on to the next week. The worries can wait for another day. Actions can wait for another day. Focus on bringing happiness to whomever needs it.

So, I am simply reflecting on happiness today and giving you some wonderful quotes:

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” (Dalai Lama);
“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” (Eleanor Roosevelt);
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” (Abraham Lincoln);
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” (Oscar Wilde); and
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” (Marcus Aurelius). 

Here are some other good ones for happiness:
Happiness quotes

Coping with Anxiety: My Journey and the 333 Rule

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Whenever my anxiety flares-up I dream some really weird dreams about driving along a treacherous road. (Quite the metaphor, huh?)
-Usually it is along a mountainous path that is very narrow or one-laned. It is not paved and the car coming towards me is always driving fast like a bat out of h*ll.
-Another dream had me driving up the snow-covered rocks on a narrow rock path in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. (It doesn’t exist that I know of!)
-Other times it is a return to my driver’s education test from my early driving years on, you guessed it, dirt roads in my neighborhood in our small southern countryside, or around the courthouse the next town over.

But last night was different. It was a combination of my southern routes with the windy dirt roads, but in the mountains of Colorado. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and took a shortcut. The road was all lumpy, like someone had churned up the dirt with a plow and left it that way. Clods of dirt were piled up and underneath them was soft and sandy dirt. It was hard to get over in my little Subaru Crosstrek, but I was persevering until I came to a rock wall, similar to the Garden of the Gods type of wall. (What an imaginative and weird combination, right?)

I got out of the car and walked around and then looked for a way to get out. Then I walked back down the road and heard singing. When I looked over the ledge, I saw a band setting up and playing with the rock wall against their backs. And I saw my friend Karen sitting there listening to the band. She looked around and said, “What took you so long?” And then I woke up.

My friend is out of town, so she was on my mind. I always worry a little about them because they take amazing trips, but to places that are a little scary sometimes, at least, that’s what I think when she describes them to me. I guess I’m just a worrier at heart.

So, I have been pondering ways to cope with anxiety. I have been writing more, exercising more, meditating, reaching out to friends, and trying to stay in the present moment (mindfulness). I also read about the 333 Rule:
Identify three objects;
Listen for three sounds you hear; and
Move three parts of your body.
The 333 rule helps people focus on the present moment and distract from anxious thoughts. It’s based on mindfulness, which is a way of being aware of the present without judgment. 

The 333 rule is a mindfulness technique that can help people feel calmer and more focused when they’re feeling anxious. It can be used anywhere, anytime and doesn’t require any supplies or speaking. Finally, you can repeat it as many times as needed.
For more information go to: Healthline.com
Other strategies can include:
Keep a journal;
Get enough sleep;
Avoid excess caffeine (don’t know if I can do that one);
Challenge negative thoughts;
Forgive yourself; and
Try to put things in perspective

For more information on being anxious, see these articles:
Prevention.com
Goodhousekeeping.com

So remind yourself that it’s okay to stop worrying. Work through why that makes you so anxious if you stop. Take a deep breath and do something fun, like making homemade chicken broth, pouring it over some ramen and vegetables and slurp it up! So delicious and comforting. I love you all and send warm hugs to everyone who has to be out in this weather!

Cherishing Life’s Simple Moments: A Heartfelt Reflection

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Every day brings us new beginnings and challenges but it’s the little gestures that help. Everyone was trying to get a workout in before the storm so there was no parking for all of us little old ones, so we circled and circled and finally found spots to park and attend our choir practice. We learned some new songs and practiced some old songs. We came away happy for that moment in time.

And then, I went to the grocery store along with the rest of Louisville because we always go crazy before a whopper of a storm. It is in our nature to shop and clear out the shelves with comfort foods and soup fixings and then hold up in our warm little caves.

But the coolest thing that happened at the grocery store, was that I found everything I needed, talked to an adorable woman who I encouraged to come next week and sing with us, and then paid it forward with my $20 off coupon that I couldn’t use at the checkout because I didn’t spend enough (hallelujah!). The couple behind me was grateful, and the checkout girl said, “I love the people in this town!” I felt joy again for a little while.

And then, I got home and read my email. I was sad to hear about the death of a wonderful person who was such a cool guy. We enjoyed his company so much when he joined our table for lunch at the senior center. He was such a delight and regaled us with his wonderful life stories. We often saw each other in the swimming pool and chatted and swam next to each other in the lanes, much to the chagrin of others swimming. I had been texting him to ask him if I could draft his story for my blog and hadn’t heard from him. I found out through our Senior Center staff that he had passed a few weeks ago. I found his memorial site on Facebook and loved all the pictures and wishes posted by his family and friends. Although I hadn’t known him for a long time, I appreciated how rich his life was, and it was good to see he has a great family. Jonathan Hritz will be missed.

So my message today is to stop worrying about the big stuff and just enjoy the moments with the people you love and the people you get to know every hour of every day. None of us know what the future will hold. So hold your loved ones’ hands and tell them how much you appreciate and care about them. Do this every day.

Love to all. Stay safe and warm.

Humble

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Humble means not being proud or arrogant, and having a lack of excess pride. It can also mean being modest, unpretentious, unassuming, or insignificant.

I am not referring to any religious movement such as the He Gets Me mega ads that are out there and driven by a hate-filled man’s money. (Look him up. He doesn’t believe his own ad’s words!). I am not referring to any religious movements and beliefs at all. And I am not referring to the meaning that allows anyone in positions of power or have more money than others to lower another person to a condition importance or dignity below them, destroy another’s independence, or gain power and will or make meek those who are just trying to survive.

In this blog, I just want to put the word out there what humble truly means to me and should mean to everyone else out there in the world. Being humble means being courteously respectful of others even when we don’t agree with them. And humble means being what any human being needs to be in our world, even when it’s not comfortable.

Research suggests that humility is a quality of certain types of leaders and is studied as a trait that can enhance leadership effectiveness. For example, James Collins, (entrepreneur, wrote In Search of Excellence, among others) and his colleagues found that a certain type of leader, whom they term level 5, possesses humility and fierce resolve. The research suggests that humility is multi-dimensional and includes self-understanding and awareness, openness, and perspective taking.—Wikipedia

A little humility goes a long way. Hate and arrogance will not get us anywhere in a society that still needs to come together. I haven’t given up the next four years to fear like I keep hearing from others. I will continue to send out good vibrations to all those who continue to work in government in hopes that they can somehow make good choices and keep the people…their constituents…in mind when they made decisions. I will continue to express gratitude for the life I have been given and spread gratitude to others who are helping make the world a better place.

Love to all. Stay warm and safe these next few days.

FIRE and VICTIM RELIEF

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I have been monitoring the California fires, and it brings back anxiety from when we had the Marshall Fire out here four years ago. Every time the wind gets crazy strong in Colorado, I can’t sleep. And now the California victims are feeling the same thing.

I want to say one thing: Sometimes we dismiss all the people and actors with money out in the world as being selfish people. But they have stepped up this time and helped everyone in need who was burned out in the California fires. These are a few who are providing tremendous aid to all the displaced folks.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2025/01/15/billionaires-celebrities-donate-los-angeles-wildfire-relief-zuckerberg-jamie-lee-curtis-kylie-jenner/

I can’t give much, but I am giving what I can to the World Central Kitchen. Not everyone has toothbrushes and underwear right now, but they still have to eat. Thank you WCK for all of your charitable deeds!

I encourage you to donate to any of the organizations who are legitimate and check out the matching funds sites that the celebrities are currently creating. I send love and hope to the people who are survivors!

Valentine’s Day Questionnaire

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Hello everyone. I would love to here your thoughts on love for an awesome blog on Valentine’s Day. You may respond via my email. I will compile a message to everyone out there who needs a little boost on that day.

If you want to be known, just sign your name or you can be anonymous. Thanks for participating in a labor of love for my blog.

1.      What is your best memory of when you fell in love?

2.      Who is/was the love of your life? Expand.

3.      How do you feel about love now?

4.      What would your perfect day be if you could do anything you wanted with the person you loved?

Hope to hear from all of you readers. THANK YOU!      Due February 4, 2025

Email to: dru_tieben@comcast.net

We Are All Weeds

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Weeds: A plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth. Especially: one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants. (2): a weedy growth of plants. By observing the weeds in your yard, you can pick up clues about soil fertility, moisture levels, and pH. Some weeds like it wet, some like it dry. Some grow in rich soil; some tolerate even the poorest soil. Some seek out sunny, open areas while others prefer the shady dampness of a forest floor.

I went to a wonderful lecture years ago that was held at the Louisville Library and sponsored by the Open Space folks. The speaker was a guy named Doug Larson, and he was highly informative. He stated that “A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill.” I learned a lot about why my yard seems to sprout sooooo many weeds. The best thing I learned about weeds was that they were amazing clue givers on how good your soil was doing. Alas, they choked out grass in a lot of areas, because they are so hardy. And, if truth be told, some of the weeds are a poor (wo)man’s flowers! They are simply incredible survivors. And who needs grass anyway in a drought environment? (I keep taking out more every year….)

When I am immersed in writing, I look forward to researching quotes for each chapter. People say amazing things in person and in writing and I love the idea of putting them in my books! So, I used Doug’s quote in one of the chapters of my latest book and followed it up by one of mine:
“We are all different and our differences are what make us strong. We are all weeds.”

Weeds always seem to be a plant in the wrong place. And, yet we can take heart that this little weed growing in the middle of the road or a crack in the sidewalk conveys bravery and an ability to thrive in the worst conditions. People are like weeds in the way we survive the worst conditions. Like weeds, we are both wild and beautiful, and emerge into places we thought we’d never be, bravely pushing through no matter the odds. We can be in the wrong place at the right time and that’s a good thing. We can be both vulnerable and brave at the same time. Nothing can bring us down unless we allow it to happen.

I am always plucking and mulching at the weeds in my gardens. I try to enjoy the gardens I have created, and weeds seem to always want to take over! And why not? It’s a super soil of nurturing nutrients. They want the same thing as the rest of the plants (and people).

I ask myself, “Do I do the same thing with my life? Maybe weeds are just those things that get in the way of the life I want to live. Trying to create something beautiful in my backyard is challenging work. But wasting too much time plucking the weeds and not planting new plants, drains my time and my energy. All those human distractions out there do the same thing. The saying in the weeds refers to an overwhelming amount of work or being too immersed in something complex. Maybe we can take a step back, appreciate the weeds (except thistle – I loathe thistle!) and let them be for a season. However, if they choke out your beautiful plants, go ahead and pluck them out. That’s okay, too. For more insights on this metaphor see:
http://katherinediuguid.squarespace.com/longing-to-belong

The important thing to remember is try not to be too judgy, “The only difference between a weed and a flower is judgement. Remember that. Remember it on your darkest days and your sunniest moments. Remember it when life is burdensome and when it’s glorious. Remember that no matter what road you travel, there will be weeds.”
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/weed-flower-wendy-rumrill

So fellow weeds, I ask you to hang in there and we’ll all get through everything together. Here’s another quote from the book (and Bob Marley). I think it sums up what I wanted to say tonight! Love and hugs to all who venture into and beyond the weeds!

“Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you riding through the ruts,
Don’t you complicate your mind
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don’t bury your thoughts;
put your vision to reality.” —Bob Marley

Are We There Yet?

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Remember the days when all of us kids were jammed back in the station wagon and headed out on a vacation to the beach or the mountains? For me it was a nightmare. Winding through southern states before we could get to Florida, or Alabama, or Tennessee, among other places. There was no AC in the hot car, no seatbelts, three girls fighting in the back seat and later a brother standing up in the front seat between our mom and dad. We would get a smack (on anything my mother could reach) if we asked, “Are we there yet?” too many times. That was my childhood.

Well, I made it to adulthood and vacations changed for the better. My family has been on many enjoyable trips, going to the beaches, the mountains, and cities across the U.S. We didn’t go back to the south except a few times. The west has so much to offer. When I think about the changes to travel and the affordability of air travel, my heart lightens. Sure, it’s trying with a little one, but as he got older, it was fun to watch him enjoy the new sites and vistas. We weren’t able to go only many vacations, but now that he’s grown, kiddo can see the world. And I look forward to the day we both retire and have our own travel adventures by ourselves. There are still so many places to see in this great big world, faraway places with lovely people and beautiful vistas.

But you know me, that’s not the question I really want you to ponder. “Are we there yet?” This question goes beyond the literal meaning of a physical destination. This question represents a vastly broader inquiry. It’s about reaching your desired goals or state of being. It sometimes reflects impatience to getting something completed. It is an ask that lets you think about what you have achieved. Are you there yet? Did you reach your goals in the life you have lived so far? If not, what steps can you take to get there?

Think of it this way: Consider what there means in your current situation. What are you striving for right now? And how do you measure your progress? Can you reflect on your milestones and use them to tell if you are moving in the right direction? Are you being patient with yourself? Are you persevering through the tough times? Are you making a list? (That’s me, the list maker….) Can you focus on the process of the journey instead of fixating on the end result? It’s a better way to enjoy each thing you accomplish on the way to the end of the journey!

So when the world’s problems get you down, and you start worrying about everything that is disastrous, send out messages of hope, both mentally and physically, and know that you are a good person and are trying to do you absolute best. Although I was not a great believer in the generation where every kid gets a trophy, sometimes I agree that it is a really good thing. And adults need those trophies, too, especially if they are trying to do something new and scary. Or, if they are trying to do the right thing in the face of adversity every day of their lives. So, when you think about the milestones in your life, and learn to be satisfied with where you’re at right now so you can move towards completion in the task at hand, think of it this way. One of the things my dad told us when we were whining, “Are we there yet?” was:

“Closer than you think.”
Be well tonight and I send out love and hugs to all of you.