Stephen Wurzel: A Journey Through Zen and Service

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Or Someone Who Is Calm Before the Storm.

Wow! We made it! I am happy nothing blew up, there were no fires, and we had a wonderful time with each other as we survived the night. The wind is howling outside, but we will persevere! I want to start out the New Year with an interview of a person I met and got to know. This will be a several part series and I hope you enjoy my conversation with him.

I met Stephen Wurzel at the Louisville Senior Center. We had lunch together and he was a delightful person, full of energy, and very entertaining. We formed a bond and now sit at the table on the days he and I come in for lunch.

Stephen helps out at so many places in town, working at Sister Carmen, in Lafayette, as well as handing out burritos to the unhoused and downtrodden folks in Boulder to name a few. He gave a lot of himself to so many people in his lifetime, and he regaled us with stories about some of his past antics and training. I was intrigued by his stories so I asked if I could interview him and he agreed. We picked a date and got together.

Stephen went to college at SUNY (State University of New York) in Albany, NY in the late 1960s and early 1970s. When he was almost finished, he took a Zen Buddhism class which included meditation. The professor was Japanese and was headed back to Japan. Stephen ran across campus and tracked him down. He asked the professor if he could go back with him to Japan to study with a Zen Master, and the professor agreed to take him to his Zen master. He was able to use his student visa and received a full semester of credits while in Japan.

The plane was an old military type plane, and the trip was long and arduous. They finally arrived in Kyoto, and it was winter. The students practiced with bare feet and hands, and it was extremely cold. He found housing with a Japanese family who owned a restaurant. They lived above the restaurant in a sort of a compound. When he first arrived, they had him sleeping on the second floor with all of their dogs. He asked to work at the restaurant, and they obliged. So here was this young, white man in a sea of Japanese, learning how to prepare squid. They taught him how to take the eyeballs out of the squid to make it edible. He wound up becoming a tourist attraction and achieved the local reputation as the “Best Squid Eyeball Popper” ever. He eventually was able to move upstairs to live with the family.

While in Kyoto, he was able to expand his training with many Masters of the arts. He learned calligraphy with one master. He learned how to prepare the tea and participate in tea ceremonies. The Zen master taught him many techniques and they praised him for his abilities. Stephen’s semester was almost over, and his student visa would be up after seven months in this beautiful and serene environment. He went to his master one more time and asked him what he should do next. The master said: “You can do anything you want!” At 20 years old, this was well-received advice, and he flew back to New York feeling that he could indeed do anything.

—More tomorrow.

Ending 2024 with Hope and Resolve

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As the clock ticks down, I hope I can shut off all the negativity of what wasn’t resolved in my little piece of the world and in myself. I was scrolling for articles online regarding new year’s resolutions, and compiled the most frequent top ten listings:
1.         Exercise More
2.         Lose weight
3.         Get organized
4.         Learn a new skill or hobby
5.         Live life to the fullest
6.         Save more money / spend less money
7.         Quit smoking
8.         Spend more time with family and friends
9.         Travel more
10.       Read more

I have made these resolutions over and over each year. I have only accomplished numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, and 10 most years. I am on the weight roller coaster and have decided to just be happy with it. If I lose, I lose. I have learned new skills this year but can’t say I do that every year. Am I living life to the fullest? I don’t know. I haven’t compared myself to other people lately. I do save money, but keep spending more (prices go up, things break, and there’s that darned kiddo in college). I don’t smoke so that’s one I can take off the list. I don’t spend enough time with family and friends. Too far to travel right now. And, travel, well, I do what I can when I can. So, five out of five for now.

Despite the best of intentions, once the glow of a fresh new year wears off, many people struggle to make good on their plans. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 46% of people who made New Year’s resolutions were successful. That means over half of the people who set a goal for the new year will fail!

The best solution is to decide that the resolutions become personal goals. That way, you will make a promise to yourself to get ‘er done. This could be your personal accountability for 2025. If you think about it as a sort of business plan for your life, you can set reasonable expectations and own it. I like to put things on my calendar and make deadlines. I remind myself that it’s okay if I miss a few, as long as I get most of them completed by the end of the year so I can let go of them. I try to stay motivated throughout the year and complete what I can. I don’t beat myself up if I don’t get them finished.

For 2025, I am allowing myself to let go of all the past projects and feelings and move onto new projects and feelings. I resolve to make minor changes in my attitude as well as others that surround me and not let as many things bother me. I resolve to take it one day at a time. I decided to complete one task on my ever-present enormous list each day to the extent it can be completed in a day. I resolve to be more realistic in my tasks and understand that it might take longer than I think it should. I resolve to always be in the present moment, help those who need help even at the expense of not finishing something, because they need me more. I resolve to be happy with what I have accomplished and stop the doubts, so my brain can rest. Finally, I resolve to keep sending out love to the universe so maybe that little bright spot in the sky will help those who are sad and lonely. Love to all and Happy New Year!

Believing and Growing

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Short but sweet. Poem for the new year (originally written by me in 1988 at Candlemas). I was inspired by my neighbor’s daughter who wrote a poem for her father. Thanks Sadie! Love and Hugs to all.

PERSONAL GROWTH
I am a part of the earth,
Earth Mother, reincarnate.
I am the bearer of children,
I am the fighter of causes.
I am woman.

I am the lover of many loves,
I am the giver and the receiver.
I am the dragonslayer,
I am woman.

Today I chose to change my life.
Today I chose to take that first step.
Today begins a new me, a re-awakening.
I am woman.

Through physical change, I can grow.
Growth brings emotional change.
Emotional change brings mental change.
Mental change brings spiritual change.
Spiritual change brings peace and harmony to my life.
Peace and harmony allow me total acceptance.
I am strong.
I am woman.

Keeping the Conversation Going with Us Vintage People

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Yes, I mean Vintage not Village People: People today talk a lot about vintage or limited edition (a story for another time). But what does it mean to have a vintage item? What does it mean to be a vintage person?

What Is Vintage? Vintage items are much younger than antiques. These pieces are typically defined as being at least 20 years old but less than 100 years old. The term true vintage is a sub-category for items that are at least 50 years old. The true vintage item has developed a cultural or nostalgic significance. It reflects the styles and trends of a period from which it originated. You may also hear someone calling a vibe or item Retro. Sometimes this means it isn’t necessarily a vintage item but is vintage inspired.

Antique items are usually older than 100 years, so it may refer to the Victorian era, for example. Vintage items also reflect past eras, but they only highlight the fashion, design, and cultural trends of more recent decades.

I am writing about this because it came up in a conversation the other day and of course I decided to explore it. I started thinking about what my era was during my primary and teenage years. While I was born in the 1950’s, I didn’t identify with the clothing, cultural significance of finding a man and getting married, and especially the music. I identified with a lot of the 1960’s movement, culture, music, and even clothing. But then in the 1970’s, I charged ahead and re-created myself once again, mainly because I went off to college and was re-designing myself into who I thought I should be. I still loved all the music, including disco and dancing, and the clothing (definitely more comfortable) and the joy of what we thought was freedom. However, in the 1980’s I became part of the man and changed my image once again. I wasn’t vintage in my thoughts or actions. I wanted to be a part of that community, which was very conservative, and women had to prove themselves in that world. I embraced the new computer age, the big shoulder pads and suit dresses, big hair, smart heels, a briefcase, and flew off with my colleagues to Washington, D.C. with the best of them. I wanted to fit into that era. I wanted to be a part of change. However, when I was off duty, I danced in discos and heavy metal bars and tried to keep my identity. I wasn’t totally designed to be the person in that particular box. I was the outlier trying to make change in a world that wasn’t moving forward as fast as I thought it should. The 1990’s and 2000’s brought contrasting times, work ethics that were changing, new friends and a new family, so I morphed once again into that era. I had to begin re-thinking who I was becoming and continue to grow. So, yes, I’m vintage now, and hope to become antique in the future. But, only in body, not in mind!

Today, these new generations are trying to reconcile the past and present in themselves. I get the conversations started and get them to talk about where they think they’ll be in the future, especially when they become vintage to the newer generations. I hope that I have made a small impact on their lives as they have definitely made an impact on mine. I encourage them to read about the past so they can be a part of a better future. When you read history, civics, and science fiction, you get an understanding of what we are trying to become, and what we want to leave for our civilization (an intact one, of course, but also a better world).

So, when you finally decide to reconcile your past with your present, and become content, decide what you can do next. First ask yourself these questions: What is your era? How are you designed? Can you become more tolerant and patient with others who aren’t like you? Am I vintage or am I an antique? I want to be considered vintage and am continuing to look for new ways to express that attitude and design.

For more information on vintage versus antique (items, not necessarily people) go to Martha Stewart’s website and read this article. Fun read!
https://www.marthastewart.com/7618577/difference-between-antique-vintage-explained

Today I am asking you to celebrate all things (and people) vintage. Recognize the fact that we are not antiques yet! Create that village where all the people live together in harmony. And ask yourself one more question: What village are you from? (No, just kidding….Or am I?)

I love you all and hope the new year brings goodness and hope!

Perspective and New Beginnings

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I originally wrote this post in 2021 and thought it might be good to revisit it (with a few tweaks and different turns). This is my 52nd blog post since the 2023 election aftermath. As the year approaches completion, I urge you to keep on being positive and enjoy the individual moments you have in this lifetime.

Remember when we thought we had a “crew”? When we believed we were important enough to have others follow us? Remember when we felt like we were part of the crowd that would make a difference? Make changes in the world? Alas, when the attack on the capital occurred on January 6, 2021, the crazies came out of the woodwork and attacked a sacred place, a place of our democracy. It was a wakeup call. Many of us didn’t understand that this was not the crew we should be a part of. Many of us woke up and recognized that we weren’t all kind human beings. It was a warning for each person watching those escapades to complete a soul search of what we really believe, what is right and just, and who our crew should be.

The crew that attacked the capital instantly went to the belief that they were in the right. They believed in something that was made up and thus justified their hate and actions. They believed what they thought their parents taught them. The group mentality took over and they reacted in the worst kind of way. They were not in the right, and they were not justified in their actions.

It made me question my ancestry and their ideas of what the world should become. After this sad escapade, I tried to ignore that I was born in the south with all of its entanglements, and then I asked myself: Am I my mother’s child? For a long time, I didn’t think so. I kept telling everyone I am different, that I was born into the wrong family. I believed that some higher being was playing a practical joke on me. I told myself that I was making the right choices, albeit quite different from my family, and telling others all about how I had lived my life. I was so righteous inside my head. There was always that “Yeah, but” echo in my head, though. I now know my ancestry and understand that some of their beliefs and actions were simply wrong. I gave myself a wakeup call. I reconciled that I have my parents’ genes, but I have grown in my thinking over the years and tried to make the best of a blend of their ideas, morphing them into a new way of looking at the world. I constructed a reasonable solution as to who I am and what I believe.

So now I am asking the rest of the world: Have you found perspective later in life and found your voice to express it? We struggle each day to find the right words and actions. We struggle to become the person we think we are. We struggle to find that kindred spirit in our new crew, those who understand our words. We begin to learn how to portray the meaning of those words correctly. Each day is a challenge – trying to find a groove that makes sense.

Today, we must acknowledge that we have the choice to blend beautiful old traditions with new and innovative ideas. We can move forward to understand what others have suffered and begin reparations. Today is the day to move onto greater thoughts and actions. We must persevere through the tough times once again, and turn the negative thinking to positive action, even if it’s simply a small act of kindness each day.

Make your life better by letting go. Think locally and how it will affect global decisions. Ask your local government to start moving on change, working together and not constantly argue about silliness just to be obstreperous. In my day, we always had a saying to “Check your ego at the door.” Ask local officials to do the same, to work on big picture items that will make change. Train people and have expectations of them to complete those expectations. Commit to a “no whining” policy from every worker and supervisor. Train people and work together. Do the job you were hired to do. Help the police and ask them to collaborate with you and other agencies to look for peaceful solutions. Policy has to be changed. Make a policy for survival of the people who live in their jurisdictions. Try to find the agitators who usurp peaceful negotiations. Ask them “Why are you doing what you do?” Help create peaceful solutions and assuage violence and frustration reactions. Cast off old ways of thinking. Get out there and create something such as programs that focus on education, mental health, and solutions for the unhoused. Help all those in need. If you are retired, volunteer so you appreciate young people and create an environment where they appreciate you. Make a difference ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Find a friend who makes you laugh. Love the kid you have:

Shut out the world, walk the dog, have a great meal, and laugh at all the ignorant people who refuse to learn. Forget and forgive all the past hurts, for at least one hour a day. Because your friends think you are the toughest person you know, be that person – you don’t need validation from the ones you love. Organize everything inside and outside your head and heart. Even if you want to give up to all the negative things that are still happening, say to yourself: “Today is not the day to give up. Today is not the day to die. Shout to the Ravens: “You won’t be able to pluck out my eyeballs today!”

This is a new era. We can only hope for peace and love, knowing that we have a long road ahead of us. I send out my love and kindness to all those out there in this big old world.

Grocery Store Madness and Impatient People

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Okay folks, I know it’s the holidays, and I chose to embark into the dark waters of grocery store shopping on a Friday night (hey, I couldn’t help it – 4X fuel points and gas is expensive). It was sooooo incredibly crazy out there today. There were two lanes open in the regular checkout, so it was bad, bad, bad. Holy Moly! I want to tell you one thing – old folks pushing old folks, invading my old folk space, to try and get out faster, that just does not work for me (and yes, I am one of the old folks who got pushed). I can’t move any faster to give you more time. You are just invading my personal space. And yes, I still have to check out in front of the credit card reader, just like everyone else.

And I am not going to go into how the drivers in the parking lot are trying to run over people in a walker, for goodness sakes! A whole lot of angst is going on right now! Really, it’s not the Zombie apocalypse so slow down folks! We will all get to where we need to go in time. These were definitely David Sedaris or Amy Sedaris moments. (Look them up. They are very funny.)

Quick facts:
Grocery shopping can induce anxiety because of overstimulation. Grocery stores are often busy, with bright lights, loud noises, and many people. This sensory overload can be overwhelming. Most researchers believe that it is caused by a mismatch or conflict between the various parts of the brain’s balance system, similar to motion sickness. Others believe that it happens when a vestibular problem causes the brain to rely too much on visual signals for balance (visual dependency).

I might have all that! I know my vision isn’t the best and the lights are harsh in a grocery store. And, I may be a little slower because I have what’s called Supermarket Syndrome. It’s the real thing! Sometimes I just have to sort through my list and coupons. I try to get out of the way of others. But sometimes there’s just no getting out of the way when it’s crowded. I also get a little dizzy and have to go slow and that’s apparently a thing, too! See the article listed below:
https://vestibular.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Visually-Induced-Dizziness-Supermarket-Syndrome_112.pdf

So all I gotta say to everyone. Behave! That’s not what your mamas taught you. I will do my part to be kind and helpful and try and get out of the way as fast as possible, but you gotta do your part, too!

I still send you good vibes and love, but I just want to say to everyone: Slow Down and PAY ATTENTION! Pay attention to your surroundings and your corresponding old person who is standing right there, in front of you, not moving for a reason, yet trying to move! Be patient and love the time you have at that very moment in your life. Hugs!

What is Your Signature Self?

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I have been cooking a lot lately and keep finding Signature dishes and signature foods everywhere for me to create something new. For example, King Soopers has a Signature Marinara sauce that is really good for a bottled sauce. I fry up some mirepoix, garlic and other secret ingredients and spices in olive oil, pour the bottle sauce over them, and simmer for a bit while the pasta cooks. I add hamburger or chicken depending on what I want. This sauce is a good half-homemade sauce (or gravy as the Italians call it!). I made a terrific lasagna for Christmas dinner. There are also signature hot sauces, barbeque sauces, and Canes Chicken dipping sauce (yum!) to name a few.

There are signature dishes for every state. I found a few that I have tasted and loved:
Pennsylvania: The Philadelphia cheesesteak;
Massachusetts: New England clam chowder;
Virginia: Smoked country ham;
Nebraska: Runzas, or warm pastry pockets stuffed with ground beef, cabbage, and onions (sounds like a Michigan Pasty to me!);
West Virginia: Pepperoni rolls;
Illinois: Chicago-style deep dish pizza;
Florida: Key lime pie;
Idaho: Finger steaks; and,
Maryland: Maryland crab cakes
All of these sauces and foods are beloved by the locals, and you can enjoy them in every state. I could go on and on about food and its origins, but here is a fun substantial list for you to peruse:
https://www.tasteofhome.com/collection/each-states-signature-food/?srsltid=AfmBOoo4rx0ajU9zFv80vseOVQBIvaFQLtVvCkKpycGp1wErLQPUj_3p

But the gist of this post is all about how each of us is unique. We define ourselves in more detail as we age. We fill the gaps that are missing by studying and learning new things based on our unfamiliar environment. Each year brings a distinct perspective of who we are and how we fit in the world. If we stop the growth, we can no longer have that Signature Self. We are no longer interested in others, because we don’t think we have anything to offer another person.

If we stop learning because we fear something, or are uncomfortable in a situation, we stay in that enigmatic comfort zone state, thus fixing our mindset that nothing can be done about the ubiquitous it. Maybe we had some negative experiences in the past or fears about uncomfortable truths. Maybe we fear being judged by others (believe me that is one I have faced over and over again!) but human beings need to face their fears and motivate themselves to push their boundaries. We can’t let fear stop us. We can’t let the loud, awful people in the world stop us. We are a massive force that can make change. Our personality traits aren’t necessarily fixed in our lifetime. We can break out of those old records (tapes? CDs? streaming music?) and make a different, more cohesive noise – a noise for change and love in the world. It might be a little stressful at first. It might be demanding on your mind, but I am asking you to Rise Up! We can overcome anything if we learn from our past, and balance what we have with what we will be receiving in the future. Do something for someone every day, someone that needs you. Even if they don’t agree with you, you can make their lives a little better for a moment. I promise you will feel better about yourself. Love and Hugs to all tonight! Stay warm and cozy!

It Takes a Village

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The phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” is believed to be an African proverb (although there is no hard evidence to the fact). This thought conveys the idea that a community is needed to provide a safe and healthy environment for children. It means that many people, or a “village,” are needed to help children grow and develop, and to realize their potential. This became a popular movement in the 1992-2000 under the Clinton administration as well as once again in 2008-2016 during the Obama administration. Both Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama embraced this idea and took it to great heights, creating programs and many opportunities that helped families and especially the children of those families.

But what I like about this proverb is how it has expanded into other meanings over the last two decades. There is now an essential idea that the village supports the people who live there, creating a like-minded community. Each community has its own life force, some through community or recreation and senior centers, some through town halls, and some through various churches. People can create change through their communities if they work together. Through their collective responsibility, they can share the enormous undertakings in cities as a team. They create the place they want to live and thrive when they create a peaceful environment. You heard the old adage: Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork. Our community believes this and tries to help change the things that need changing (well, with a minimum of complaining, which is okay, too).

I truly believe that no one is meant to do life alone. My village of friends has expanded over the years. For me it’s a lot of the folks at our Recreation and Senior Center through the programs I am currently involved in. For a long time I was adrift. I have other friends, but now I think I have found my new people. They offer me guidance, practical help, and sometimes just a safe place to share my thoughts and feelings.

For more information I encourage you to read and process these great books:
Hillary Rodham Clinton’s book: It Takes a Village
Michelle Obama’s book: Becoming and workbook Overcoming

So, be aware that we need you in 2025 to help us all get through what life will throw at us!
And recognize that it does take a village so thanks for being part of ours (even if it’s building Legos together to create the ideal village)! I love you all and I send you a big kiss. Happy Holidays!

What If?

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What if I didn’t get the tree up earlier?
What if I had wrapped the presents earlier?
What if I had taken the biscuits out earlier so I wouldn’t have burned the bottoms?
What if I had timed the dinner a littler better so half wasn’t cold and the other half burning hot?
What if I forgot to put the pie in?
What if I forgot to set the table?

As I ponder all these “What Ifs?” I have to remember that it will all be okay tomorrow. I did get the tree up two weeks ago. I wrapped all the presents a couple of days ago. I did burn the biscuits this morning, but now I know I must use a different pan! And I made tomorrow easy. I am making lasagna, garlic bread, and salad, so no oven crowding! And, after baking so much stuff, I bought a frozen Marie Calendar’s cherry pie and can pop it in the oven while we’re eating! (And, we’ll have some of the baked goods!) And no…I haven’t set the table yet…. Too many Lego villages and people are on top of it! The village will move to another table soon!

I am taking a breath and going with the flow right now. I am encouraging others to do the same. After all, we can reduce our stress if we think of the end picture, not all the little stuff. Just enjoy the meal with our family and friends.

The “What if?” question has been on my mind of late and I wonder how many others are thinking about it, especially at this time of year. Many of us reflect on past choices, but we all need to analyze our past decisions to learn from them, not make the same mistakes over and over again. We don’t necessarily have to fret over all of them. If we all can decide that our past decisions led us to this is the path we need to be on right now, in this present moment, we have learned from our past collective of choices. Our past should hopefully allow us to make better choices in the future.

Over these past few years, I have attempted to process my feelings of regret about missed opportunities (woulda/shoulda) by looking at what I have now. I had a distinguished career even though I still wish I could have done more (alas, the stifled environment of our time didn’t allow us to do all the things we needed to do). But, overall, I may not be able to work within government at my age, but I can still discuss and write about problems and help people believe there might be a teensy-weensy bit of hope for their future. I have tried to manage my regret and any perceived opportunities in my past. I have explored where my decisions have led me to this very day. I am attempting to foster creativity and a sense of openness to new experiences for everyone around me. I have processed that the path I’ve taken is the right one for me. Today, I am focusing on the new choices that shape my current reality. I’m not perfect, but I have had a surprisingly good life right now and try to remember that every day. I have a wonderful family, a nice house, food, and friends. And that’s all we all need for now. For more information on our life decisions and where they take us see this article:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/jan/02/the-big-idea-could-you-have-made-different-choices-in-life
Be happy everyone and stay in the moment! Love and Hugs to All!

JOY

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Elation; Bliss; Delight; Euphoria; Gladness; Satisfaction; Blissfulness; Ecstasy; Pleasure; Exhilaration; Exultation; Felicity; Glee; Happiness; Jubilation; Rapture; Beatitude; Triumph; Celebration; Delectation; Kvelling

Ataraxie  n . an understanding of your own infinitesimal smallness that makes you feel freer. Also known as ‘floating rock mentality,’ wherein the realization that we are all simply little creatures living on a meaningless floating rock empowers you to live your life according to your rules alone. (Ancient Greek ἀταραξία, equanimity or tranquility + free. Pronounced “ah-trax-ee.”)

Today I am full of joy because I have everything I need at this very moment. I understand that I am a small cog in the wheel of time in the universe and I can live my life the way I need to live it.

I am joyful for my family and friends and those who need my smiles and hugs. I am joyful for being in an ataraxic state. I am blissful and peaceful today. I hope you are able to find joy in your life these next few days. Have a wonderful Christmas time. And remember to relax and not sweat the small stuff. Hugs and good vibes to all the awesome people out there. And I am sending love waves to all those who are mean, too!

For more on amazing words that mean Joy see this post:
https://www.browndailyherald.com/post-magazine/article/2023/04/joys-ford