Tag Archives: anxiety

Sometimes It’s Okay to Ask for Help

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Thank you kiddo for helping me today. Sometimes technology can be overwhelming to us oldsters but when someone like you shows me the way, it is a beautiful thing. Thanks for being you!

And on that note, take a look at my new book page! It looks so much nicer! Still working on Book III for both bigs and smalls for the series. (And after publication, he will help me once again, I’m sure!)

So my lesson for today is it’s okay to ask for help of any kind, but take notes and remember it for the future when you are endeavoring to learn something new. Don’t give up and feel overwhelmed about it (and don’t blame others because things are changing constantly in this world). Just remember the good ole’ days weren’t really that good and we can seek to find new ways to help each other every day we are on this planet.

A society that has isolated us in the past has made up feel like we have to go it alone when facing bad days and tough decisions. I have felt the guilt that my accomplishments haven’t been worthy by some people. I have faced difficult times where no one believed in the things I believed in. It has been hard to ask for help in my adult life and when I go it alone, I have a huge fear of failure.

So as I age, I have been trying to help others, even though I get a little annoyed when they don’t give back the way I feel they should. I admit to this flaw, and still go on to do the best I can every day. Our lives have been molded by stressors that pile up every day because others don’t feel we little guys are worthy of their help. So each day I ask the world and all of us little guys in it to care a little bit more about others. I ask everyone to be kind and just don’t worry about it. Giving of ourselves is free, and sometimes it just makes us feel better about our current situation. It’s a hard task for all, but we will persevere if we worry a little less. I’m still working on that part.

For more information about asking for help, go to:
https://www.wondermind.com/article/asking-for-help/

Take care of yourselves and others tonight and enjoy the warmth before the next storm!

Coping with Anxiety: My Journey and the 333 Rule

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Whenever my anxiety flares-up I dream some really weird dreams about driving along a treacherous road. (Quite the metaphor, huh?)
-Usually it is along a mountainous path that is very narrow or one-laned. It is not paved and the car coming towards me is always driving fast like a bat out of h*ll.
-Another dream had me driving up the snow-covered rocks on a narrow rock path in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. (It doesn’t exist that I know of!)
-Other times it is a return to my driver’s education test from my early driving years on, you guessed it, dirt roads in my neighborhood in our small southern countryside, or around the courthouse the next town over.

But last night was different. It was a combination of my southern routes with the windy dirt roads, but in the mountains of Colorado. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and took a shortcut. The road was all lumpy, like someone had churned up the dirt with a plow and left it that way. Clods of dirt were piled up and underneath them was soft and sandy dirt. It was hard to get over in my little Subaru Crosstrek, but I was persevering until I came to a rock wall, similar to the Garden of the Gods type of wall. (What an imaginative and weird combination, right?)

I got out of the car and walked around and then looked for a way to get out. Then I walked back down the road and heard singing. When I looked over the ledge, I saw a band setting up and playing with the rock wall against their backs. And I saw my friend Karen sitting there listening to the band. She looked around and said, “What took you so long?” And then I woke up.

My friend is out of town, so she was on my mind. I always worry a little about them because they take amazing trips, but to places that are a little scary sometimes, at least, that’s what I think when she describes them to me. I guess I’m just a worrier at heart.

So, I have been pondering ways to cope with anxiety. I have been writing more, exercising more, meditating, reaching out to friends, and trying to stay in the present moment (mindfulness). I also read about the 333 Rule:
Identify three objects;
Listen for three sounds you hear; and
Move three parts of your body.
The 333 rule helps people focus on the present moment and distract from anxious thoughts. It’s based on mindfulness, which is a way of being aware of the present without judgment. 

The 333 rule is a mindfulness technique that can help people feel calmer and more focused when they’re feeling anxious. It can be used anywhere, anytime and doesn’t require any supplies or speaking. Finally, you can repeat it as many times as needed.
For more information go to: Healthline.com
Other strategies can include:
Keep a journal;
Get enough sleep;
Avoid excess caffeine (don’t know if I can do that one);
Challenge negative thoughts;
Forgive yourself; and
Try to put things in perspective

For more information on being anxious, see these articles:
Prevention.com
Goodhousekeeping.com

So remind yourself that it’s okay to stop worrying. Work through why that makes you so anxious if you stop. Take a deep breath and do something fun, like making homemade chicken broth, pouring it over some ramen and vegetables and slurp it up! So delicious and comforting. I love you all and send warm hugs to everyone who has to be out in this weather!

Dismantling Fear: A Path to Personal Empowerment

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Dissatisfiers: Fear, Anger, and Prejudice. These are three underlying emotions that will control our lives, cause closed-mindedness, and inhibit growth. How can we recognize our hidden potential if we let these emotions control us? We can get back on the designated path if we acknowledge that these emotions are taking us in the direction we do not want to go. The last few posts have focused on anger and prejudice, but today I want to talk about fear.

The media will always give the worst-case scenarios. They need you to watch their feeds, so each station tries for more drama and gore. Exposure to negative news can lead to feelings of helplessness, depression, and aggression. The sensationalize or oversimplify stories that create fear. They oversimplify stories without providing enough context. It paralyzes us into taking no action. Consuming too much news, especially on television and social media, can increase emotional distress. This is sometimes called “doomscrolling”. It can make us panic and lose our ability to reason.

If we can re-focus and become more adventurous, we can increase our coping skills. We face each new situation with more knowledge and become fearless. We learn to make better decisions that are good for survival. By learning to make these personal decisions every time we venture out, we learn to be less apathetic because we are not afraid to get involved. In his book The Search, author, and wilderness expert Tom Brown, stated that “If I can face fear, real or imagined, it will disappear…. Fear can be overcome and panic abated by trust in oneself and one’s knowledge.”

By choosing to be fearless, we gain courage in our decisions and actions. We stand up to evil people with loving hearts. The late great Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in his cause, and was not deterred by accusations, threats, or warnings. Fear did not dominate him. He looked at a dangerous threat and continued to be an active participant of change because he wanted to help all people who were being oppressed. We cannot change everything, and terrible things are always going to happen to people who do not deserve it, but we can try helping one person every day. Alice Hoffman put it very succinctly in her book Faithful. “Who made it your job to feel guilty for every bad thing that happens?” We cannot stop every painful act to us or to another, but we can attempt to do the right thing every day we live.

We can all overcome fears about change by understanding the past, integrating old but good memories, and creating a better world for the future. We cannot fix Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (Title of excellent movie, by the way), but we can dwell on what we can do today. So, instead of watching the news, turn it off on all devices, and go for a walk in the neighborhood. Observe your surroundings. What can you change right now?

For more information on this subject, see my book Discover the Life You Want to Live (still on Amazon for purchase). I promise it will make you think and take you to a place that is better than where you are right now.