Finding Strength in Michelle Obama’s Insights

I finally got back to Michelle Obama’s book The Light We Carry and wanted to share a few thoughts with you. In the beginning of the book, she talked about her time on the presidential campaign with her husband Barack. She talked about the four words that plague even the most powerful people she knew. And those words were: “Am I good enough?” Her answer was “I don’t know.” The interesting part about this dialogue is that when she took it to Barack, “…he helped me (her) remember that anxiety was a natural part of doing something new and big….”

She recognized how the previous years leading up to the 2020 election had left people “wobbly”- unsettled, watchful, less connected, and anxious about the future. This is the gist of what we are feeling today; that we have no control over what is to come, and the hatemongering has spread to anyone who doesn’t tow the party line. Currently, equilibrium isn’t possible, but we can evolve individually if we stop asking when this will end. Instead, we must ask: How can we adapt to create a space we can live in and with until we make it better by educating the people who don’t understand what they’ve done? If I believe that nothing can be fixed, and take the “why bother” attitude, I will go down a dark hole and never come out.

Mrs. Obama’s analogy about knitting hit home to me. If I start the doom and catastrophe thought loop, I can at least put on some music and knit. It is the small stuff that will get me through the big stuff. The little projects and actions make my brain say: “I’ve got this!” Just remember, it still takes time to change even the little stuff.

In Chapter 7 of the book, Michelle Obama listed and detailed the points her mother gave her regarding how to create the best in their children. I encourage you to read this chapter carefully so you can help create a better environment for your child or grandchild to grow up in.

1.         “Teach your kids to wake themselves up.”

2.         “It isn’t about you. Good parents are always working to put themselves out of business.” (emphasis mine)

3.         “Know what’s truly precious.”

4.         “Parent the child you’ve got.” (Not someone you want them to be-interpretation mine)

5.         “Come home. We will always like you here.”

There will always be people in the world who think they are more powerful when they belittle and make people feel unwelcome. By breaking down people into the have and have nots, the “have” people feel superior. If we do not challenge the old narratives, we will internalize our unworthiness as the truth. If they put you down, all you must do is: “Don’t Listen.”

There is so much more to read in this book that may help you sort out the world into a livable place. I know I haven’t done justice to the book, so I encourage you to read it today!

You are all wonderful people. You just forget about that sometimes. Be happy and love yourself for who you are today.

The Art of Storytelling: Unleash Your Inner Writer

Writing is always about your personal discipline. Many people do not want to commit to taking time out of their lives when it comes to writing. Everyone has a story to tell about their life and the life of others they know. A human life can go in so many different directions. But you do have choices. You can lock yourself up in your house away from the world and fear the unknown. Or you can take time out each day to explore the world you live in and speak the truth. You can embrace the world, whether you fear it or not, and be involved with every aspect of nature and humans and their interactions with nature. Sometimes nature is the enemy. Sometimes humans are the enemy. It’s all those little interactions that make a story a wonderful experience for the reader.

People don’t seem to be brave these days and that’s sad to me. They pursue various artistic endeavors, but don’t consider that writing is also an art. If we could just face our fears, write them down and process our thoughts on paper (or computer), we would get a little better every day. So…. stop talking, create a practice and write every day. Stop saying to me, “I could write a book,” or “I started a book a long time ago.” The simple solution is to sit down and draft your own story. Finish what you have started. Tell us how you deal with the turmoil and strife, the love and the hate, and your view of the world today. Write about things you see and love every day. Write about the beauty of the world. Visualize dreams you want to happen and make them happen, first in story form, then in the real world.

I once read that a university student asked a well-known writer, “Do you think I could be a writer?” The writer responded, “Well, I don’t know…. Do you like sentences?” The writer/author was Annie Dillard, author of The Writing Life. She also wrote one of the best books I’ve read in a long time: Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (and so many other beautiful works). She is an incredible person who posed these and other questions to students. She posited that like painters, they paint because they like the smell of paint. So, of course, you must like sentences! “Can the writer isolate and vivify all in experience that most deeply engages our intellects and our hearts?” she asked her audience. And, finally, she asked, “Can the writer renew our hope for literary forms?”

Another fantastic book to read to give you a beautiful storyteller’s step by step process for writing is Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. This has been my writing bible for decades.

I implore you to start your journey today. I’ll leave you with an incredible quote I try to embrace each day, authored by novelist Joyce Cary:

“The truth is that life is hard and dangerous; that he who seeks his own happiness does not find it; that he who is weak must suffer; that he who demands love will be disappointed; that he who is greedy will not be fed; that he who seeks peace will find strife; that truth is only for the brave; that joy is only for him who does not fear to be alone; that life is only for the one who is not afraid to die.”  Or if I may simply put it: “It’s a good day to die, so let’s live life to the fullest!”

Everyone has a story to tell. I would love to hear yours. Have lots of food and fun this weekend and write about it, then publish it! Love and hugs to all.

Marvin Harris: Insights on Culture and Evolution

Marvin Harris (August 18, 1927 – October 25, 2001), was an American anthropologist born in Brooklyn, New York City. He grew up a poor kid but joined the army when he was old enough, and fought in WWII. The GI Bill enabled him to attend Columbia University. As a result, he received both his MA and PhD in Anthropology from there. He later became the department chair. He performed fieldwork in Brazil and Portuguese-speaking Africa before joining the faculty at Columbia. He later went to the University of Florida where he was the Graduate Research Professor. He was a prolific writer in his field. Harris was among the few faculty leaders who sided with the students when they were threatened and beaten by the police in the 1960’s and 1970’s. He was highly influential in the development of cultural materialism and environmental determinism. Harris was known as “one of the most controversial anthropologists alive” (Smithsonian Magazine).

Harris’ observations in this introduction of his book, Our Kind: The Evolution of Human Life and Culture, made me read the entire book back in the early 1990s, and re-visit it today. Here are two thoughts to ponder for our modern-day dilemma.

“What part of the human condition is in our genes and what part in our cultural heritage, whether jealousy, war, poverty, and sexism are inevitable, and whether our species has a chance to survive?” And,

Educators have heated debates “…about what it is that anybody must know in order to be considered an educated person….” Harris states that historians and literary celebrities create “definitive lists of names, places, events and literary works guaranteed to lift the uneducated out of their…ignorance.” Harris’ reaction is that they focus on the achievements of Western societies and “…are silent about the great biological transformations that led to the appearance of our ancestors on earth” which “endowed our species with a unique capacity for culturally constructed adaptations.” In other words, they “…ignore the evolutionary principles that shaped the social life of our species after our ancestors achieved ‘cultural takeoff.’”

To put it more succinctly, the abstract for this book states: “Before consciousness formed and toolmaking began, before speech was learned and cultures were established, before religion, society, politics, and war, came a simple evolutionary change: One primate, our common ancestor took a single upright step. So began our family history. The story of ‘Our Kind.’” https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1989-98292-000

In the conclusion of my book, Discover the Life You Want to Live, I ask the reader to change the course of their lives by breaking their hidden boundaries and become comfortable in the world (of change). I ask people to cut through all their artificial barriers, have a social conscience, and understand their place in the universe. And finally, I ask them to create the desire to contribute and seek cooperation, and take personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, and actions, and share this idea with others.

I am asking everyone to calm their anger and wake up and stop speculating about the future. I am asking everyone to do what they need to do to create change in their community right now, to create this cultural takeoff at the grass roots level. Head up a writing campaign and send in the letters to your representatives when you feel strongly about inequities and present your ideas for change in a logical well-thought out letter. I am asking everyone to create a better life and support those in need.

It does not take money to act with kindness and love to everyone that surrounds you. Recognize chaos but RISE UP into your own positive position of power.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and what your action plans are to make the future shine bright in everyone’s life.

Embrace Your Path: Lessons from My Personal Journey

In 2012, I wrote and published a book called “Discover the Life You Want to Live.” (It is still available for purchase on Amazon.com if you are interested). Although it needs editing and updating, my message is still relevant to today’s challenging times. I called the book a Standard Operating Procedures Manual for Adult Mentors. I asked readers to engage in a discovery process to understand the life they wanted to live. I talked about my life and legacy and what I wanted to pass onto my child.

One message that I want to reiterate from the book is this line of thought:

Throughout my life, I have tried to have the attitude that we are all equal and everyone is at the place where they need to be at any given moment in their lives. If we constantly compare ourselves to those who are more successful, more glamorous, or more part of the popular crowd, we lose sight of why we are here on this planet. It should not be a contest. If I look around, I can see others better off than I am at any point in my life. They do not owe me anything. I do the best that I can with the life I have been given. I work one task at a time and make the best of that given moment. We are all in control of our own thoughts and our decisions lead us to our destinies. We are who we are, and we will get to where we need to be when the time comes. It may be a harder road than others, but we must own that path.

So, for today:

JUST BREATHE! Take a walk. Learn one new thing each day. Engage with one new person each day. And, keep writing!