The World Goes On and the Zucchini Keeps on Giving!

Being outside and cleaning up my sacred spaces revives me, even with mosquitoes (spray every part of your exposed skin), hot weather, and the gathering storm approaching over the mountains. But as the world goes on and people remain frenzied and a little bit crazy, my sanctuary is where I’ll be for most of the summer, far from the noise spewing forth from the media. Cleanup continues and I look for those plants that I am going to excavate and re-plant in the fall. The front yard bed was the first garden that I experimented with when we first moved here over 27 years ago. Time does seem to fly by us and seems to speed up as we age.

I’ll divide and move my ancient peonies to the back yard where I hope they’ll thrive and bloom once again like they did when I first planted them. I’ll dig up sedums and grasses from that same old bed where the crazy ground cover grows and continues to try and smother them out of existence. I’ll transplant them to the new bed in the front yard where I took out almost 200 square feet of grass and replaced it by planting those wonderful waterwise plants a few years ago (courtesy of Resource Central Boulder and the City of Louisville). I hope they will fill the gaps and thrive and complement my overall aesthetic scheme. And I’ll try (once again) to eradicate that crazy Snow in the Mountain ground cover that took over the whole bed. (Careful what you wish for in a ground cover – one plant exploded and multiplied into places I never intended it to do! It is out of control!) I hope to add another cute cedar tree and maybe a few more roses in those areas next spring after the snowmelt.

I get slower with the cleanup every year, as I dig up more grass and put in new plants. Some make it, some don’t, but it’s the physical act of trying and doing that matters. We try everything to combat aging and when our lives don’t always go in the direction we had originally planned, we persevere. But perhaps that’s the point of living: to find what is our true direction in a world of chaos and mis-direction; to be the person we were supposed to be even if it turns out to be something totally different from our first childhood vision board (or journal in my case). Maybe it’s okay just to be who we are at any given moment in our lifetime. And maybe it’s okay to create beauty in our change of direction, moving like the wind and the water onto the next project without regret for what has happened, anything that has been lost to us, in the past. Sometimes the losses make us grow even more.

Currently, we are trying to thrive in a chaotic atmosphere where storms (both human and environment) create destruction. But, when the clouds move in and the world looks grim, we slowly begin to see the fruits of our labor like the humble zucchini. We are thriving despite all the setbacks, and are brave enough to try and make the best creations from the bounty of our gardens. And if the tomatoes still have spots on them, add a little calcium (I just learned this! Egg shells and/or Tums!) and hopefully you will get the fruit in the end where you can create something tasty and wonderful.

So don’t get discouraged with your life. Make the best of it every day. If the only thing you can do is to give water and a snack to a person standing with a sign on the side of the road, then do it. You may have saved that person’s life for one more day. And that’s a good thing for you to do. (Thanks for that tip goes out to my eye doctor’s nurse!) So, don’t curse and spit into the wind. Don’t spew negative nonsense to others who are just trying to figure it out in their daily existence. Just lend a helping hand when you can and be thankful for where you are at this moment in your life. I love you all so much and send out this message of hope every day that I am alive. Jim Croce Don’t Mess Around with Jim

Hail and Zucchini

Or: Searching for Authenticity.
A few days ago the dark, black clouds moved in and a huge thunderstorm came over our little neck of the woods. The rain was intense and the hail burst into being, small balls of destruction raging down onto the planet and our fragile plants. Thunder boomed, and lightening lit up the skies. The giant beautiful leaves of the zucchini and squash became ragged as they were shredded. Thankfully, the flowers remained intact so I am now getting an abundance of zucchini. The destruction wreaked havoc on the gardens, and plants already weakened by the heat and weather suffered. For the first time, one of my long-time raised beds looked extremely sad. The rabbits or other creatures dug holes in it and now I have to go and fix it. It has survived all kinds of weather over the last 20 years.

But our weather doesn’t compare to what lightening has caused over the four corners area. Lightening started 4 different fires in Colorado, one of them raging in the Black Canyon, and the one in Utah is now passing over the border into our state. The few but brave firefighters have not contained them as of this writing. But the most devastating news is the fires on both the North and South Rim of the Grand Canyon which was also started by lightening—the loss of a legendary and historic building, the Grand Canyon Lodge, as well as many cabins and other structures in the park. For the first time since my trek down into the depths of the Canyon, I felt a huge hole in my heart. I don’t know if Phantom Ranch is still standing (across the Colorado River and at the base) where I have fond memories of camping there. I also have memories of taking the hottest shower in the Lodge after our 7-day adventure over thirty years ago, and arising from the dead of that rugged hike, peering out of those tall glass windows at beautiful scenery of the Canyon below me. I shared those memories in my Caitlin Ferguson mysteries, and wanted to share them with my family in a few years, taking them back in time to those beautiful vistas. They will never see the amazing sites from my original point of view and I am saddened that these things had to happen before they could see them. I know many people will rally to rebuild, but it won’t be the same. People want comfortable and new, and the authentic charm will be forever lost. Nature has won out once again.

But for this post, I want to dive into what it means to be authentic. According to an article in Psychology today: “Humanistic psychologists would say that by definition, authentic people possess a number of common characteristics that show they are psychologically mature and fully functioning as human beings. They:

  1. Have realistic perceptions of reality.
  2. Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
  3. Are thoughtful.
  4. Have a non-hostile sense of humor.
  5. Are able to express their emotions freely and clearly.
  6. Are open to learning from their mistakes.
  7. Understand their motivations.” Psychology Today-Authentic People

I think it’s important to be your authentic self. Sometimes I have unrealistic perceptions of reality. I feel like I have tried to live a full life, and expect a lot from others. Many people fail at meeting my perceptions, and yet I still have hope of them creating their own fulfillment. I fail repeatedly on Number 4, but I believe that I express my emotions freely, even though sometimes they aren’t clear, just a jumbled mess. I attempt to be open and apologize for my mistakes. I attempt to correct the mistakes and make life better. My motivations are clear about where I want others and me to be in the coming years. I want to continue learning something new and be influenced by the written word. So many books have changed my life, and I treat them like the old connect-the-dots game, creating a visually acceptable endgame. Reading the greats from hundreds of years ago, as well as new literature keeps my perspective growing. I want the freedom and independence to explore new ideas and letting go of ego, creating a world without anthropocentricity.

“I seek only the learning that treats of the knowledge of myself and instructs me how to die well and live well.” ― Michel de Montaigne

So for now, I am cursing and regaling the weather at the same time, and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Whether it is a zucchini bake, or a potato/zucchini muffin, the humble zucchini has given us sustenance in new ways. They help me create an authentic food staple for others to enjoy. And, to paraphrase the Jello commercial: There’s always room for zucchini….

Let us not forget the things that are happening right now to our world, but let us look forward to who we could become, creating a better self  from our past selves, thus, creating something wonderful in the future. Let’s decide what is authentic and cut back on the cynicism, and approach a future with sympathy. Let’s get beyond our hero-worshiping phase because heroes always fall. Let’s overcome what we thought was wonderful and create something better out of the ashes.

I love you all and ask that you create a beautiful world in times of sadness and disaster. Go forth, like the humble zucchini, and multiply your gifts!

Rainy Day Reflections

Or: Slow Down and Smell the Flowers!
Or: Sneezing but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Fixing Sprinkler Breaks but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Picking up Bobcat Poop in the Middle of the Garden, but Still Smelling the Flowers!

So I am officially in my 70’s and am considered an elder in the world where we need names based on age. I feel like I have earned that title, and try to give good advice whether asked or not! However, today I must admit I have slowed down a little bit. My brain works in more mysterious ways. I remember lots of interesting facts and have amazing discussions, but can’t remember an actor’s or a cousin’s name.

I am writing better than I ever have before (Duh…I’ve slowed down so why not!) Physically, body parts ache more, I fall, I get goofy at the end of the day, I sneeze a lot when I’m outside but I’m still kicking it as high as I can.

I don’t like crowds as much, and try to find interesting places to visit to keep stimulating those brainwaves. But, alas, the crowds…. I am trying to let things go a little more, but that’s a tough one. I overthink too many things, and make myself a little fried when I can’t get it right (or the way I want it to be).

So, if I forget something mid-sentence when my blood sugar is low, or the conversation drifts into a place where we didn’t think it was going, bear with me. We will all get to the same place in the end, and hopefully the same conclusion. Be kind to each other and accept that we stop and talk to everyone about anything. Forgive past slights and move on to this next phase in life.

My advice for us elders is to keep on living, keep on loving, and keep on learning something new. Move your body and rest when you need to, even if it is a little more often than ten years ago. And don’t forget to stop and smell the roses (even if you sneeze ten thousand times afterwards). Love to all on this crazy, rainy, hailstorm day!

Waiting to “Exhail”!

Most of the weeds are pulled, the bushes are planted, the seeds are emerging from the raised bed soil, and the zucchini and squash are in the ground! I am sending out an enormous THANK YOU across the UNIVERSE to my husband who has helped me through injury and my aging body. I am grateful every day you are alive and well, even though being a cancer survivor is rough on your body. We are both going through a lot of exhaustion and exhaling to master daily chores, especially those that I have tried to keep up with every day. I appreciate you stepping up this summer for all the laborious tasks that I am not able to do right now. We are, after all pretty good together when we decide it’s worth doing and I’m not too bossy (okay, maybe I’m still a little bossy!)

I know non-gardeners think we are nutty people—always wanting to get our hands dirty, moving rocks around, taking away rock fill, putting rock fill back in, constantly weeding, fighting massive thunderstorms, flinching when we get hail as big as golf balls, shooing away literally tame rabbits that are trying to eat everything, and bobcats in the backyard-hopefully eating some of the rabbits! But in reality, we gardeners are generally trying to make a wonderland out of the clay soil and our crazy weather out here.

At the end of summer, and after I put the yard tasks behind me, I am sad that winter is coming. I clean up, put up the tools, and then go inside. I get antsy around April (false spring out here!) and start planting seedlings in the sun room. Unfortunately, the sun room isn’t heated and so I have to use space heaters when it gets down in the 20s and 30s at night. But, voila! Real spring happens, albeit late this year, and I can do it all again. Every year is different and I focus on different areas of the yard. Last year, there was the gazebo build, and this year it has been major cleanups, and planting around the gazebo. Who knows where I will venture next year? I am grateful for my farming father, who taught me a thing or two about the land. I am grateful for my ex-neighbor who was a Master Gardner who moved away 7 years ago to lush North Carolina, but still keeps in touch and talks about what we each have done in our yards. And long story short, I am grateful to be alive, semi-healthy, and loving my wonderful spouse for all of his help.

So whether you are waiting to exhale or waiting for the hail I hope you all live in that moment before any negative disasters that may come your way. Focus on the now and the positive. Love the beautiful green things you have planted and relish the promise of food before fall! Love tonight to all and be at peace with yourself for a little while!

Hug Trees, Clean up the Seas, Save the Bees!

I saw this on Facebook today and I thought it summed things up nicely! When things get rough out there go out into the woods and just breathe. Find the biggest tree and sit awhile, embracing its energy. Sink your feet in the earth and call out its name. Thank the tree for still being there. Be grateful it has survived all these years, through fires, drought, massive rain runoff and abuse of people in general.

If you are near the ocean, take a walk on the beach with your bag and pick up plastic and debris. Dispose of it afterwards in the appropriate bins. Find a spot on the beach and sit for a while. Watch the waves and harmonize with them. Say hello to the little birds and critters in the sand.

Plant your garden with pollinators and welcome the bees, even if you are a little afraid of them. They are our friends and keep our plants and food alive! Get rid of the wasps that try to take over their habitat. Let them be at peace and do their work.

Be grateful for all of the creatures, plants, and trees that we still have out there on this planet. Yes, we lose things every day, but there are still those places that survive despite our undoing. Tread lightly on these vast arid landscapes and keep it alive.

We can live in harmony with nature if we slow down and give it a chance. We can appreciate the beauty outside if we appreciate the beauty inside each of us. Everyone needs a sacred space to go to, even if it is a small one in your backyard. That is what I am creating, a little bit at a time. Can you say that you are doing the same thing in yours?

I am at peace tonight, finishing up my work, and listening to the birds and creatures outside (although a little malice towards that very loud crow!) with promises of a beautiful summer ahead.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”― John Lennon

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
― Jimi Hendrix

I love you all and wish you well!

Thoughts from the Past and the Greening of America

Why did my grandmother and aunts sweep the yard and scrape away all of the grass growing there under the huge oak tree? Was it because they were afraid of snakes biting the children or chickens? Was it a form of pest control? Was it to prevent fires? According to southern lore, this was a practice that goes back to the African people, and later passed onto other white farmers. We played and had picnics in the front yard and under that giant beautiful tree for years as children and didn’t think anything of it.

https://www.hometalk.com/diy/clean/outdoor/q-southern-traditions-why-did-my-grandmas-sweep-their-yards-28112586

And, then came the invention of the riding lawnmower. My father and mother became the Forrest Gump look-alikes, mowing those expansive lawns and fields with their personal lawn mowers. It became a sea of green surrounding our house. They didn’t have to water like we do. My mother became obsessed with lawns, while my father was still the gardener with his flowers and vegetable gardens. Mowing was never a fun job for us kids (push mowers, later gasoline driven, but not automatic, and not riding mowers like my mother had). So, I became more enamored of the gardens.

Why do we fixate on lush green lawns with no weeds? Is a perfectly manicured lawn a reflection of who we are in society and in the universe? Are we trying to compete and/or become royalty? If you don’t love to get your hands in the dirt, and you can’t afford to hire anyone, like the privileged few, the solution is to take a few minutes each day after work, and work on a little piece of your land. Break up your yard in sections, and plant beautiful bushes and flowers. Mulch like crazy and enjoy your labor. I have divided up my yard into sections and each day during the growing season, I take one section a week. It doesn’t have to be an amazing English Garden like you see on the East coast, or in the old kids’ books. We don’t have the climate for that out in the southwest. Plant what works out here. Then, sit with it on your back patio, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. I can be in my happy peaceful place, and sip on a cool drink when the work is done. I know people don’t enjoy outside work as much as I do, but it is such an accomplishment to see living things grow and thrive in our harsh climate.

It is well-known that pesticides aren’t good for people or the environment so I have taken the higher road and not used them. And, yes, the dandelions and thistle bloom like crazy and look hideous in some peoples’ eyes, but I pull out the ones that are in my mulched gardens and don’t worry as much about the lawn. Green is green where green will grow out here.

When the forsythia and lilacs bloom each spring, I think of my father and his amazing green thumb. I don’t have expansive green lawns (and the water to support them) but my plants survive and burst in color each year, I think of him every spring. I was able to enjoy their beauty for a little while this spring before the snow and wind blew off the flowers. And though I hate the crab apples, for a little while, they are beautiful each spring so I won’t cut them down.

So don’t worry about what the other neighbors’ yards look like and don’t try to spray away the weeds and have a perfect lawn. Enjoy the imperfections in your yard as you would in life. Enjoy each other as individuals and don’t compete with something that is not real.

I love you all equally with all of your imperfections. Have an awesome weekend!

We Are All Weeds

Weeds: A plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth. Especially: one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants. (2): a weedy growth of plants. By observing the weeds in your yard, you can pick up clues about soil fertility, moisture levels, and pH. Some weeds like it wet, some like it dry. Some grow in rich soil; some tolerate even the poorest soil. Some seek out sunny, open areas while others prefer the shady dampness of a forest floor.

I went to a wonderful lecture years ago that was held at the Louisville Library and sponsored by the Open Space folks. The speaker was a guy named Doug Larson, and he was highly informative. He stated that “A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill.” I learned a lot about why my yard seems to sprout sooooo many weeds. The best thing I learned about weeds was that they were amazing clue givers on how good your soil was doing. Alas, they choked out grass in a lot of areas, because they are so hardy. And, if truth be told, some of the weeds are a poor (wo)man’s flowers! They are simply incredible survivors. And who needs grass anyway in a drought environment? (I keep taking out more every year….)

When I am immersed in writing, I look forward to researching quotes for each chapter. People say amazing things in person and in writing and I love the idea of putting them in my books! So, I used Doug’s quote in one of the chapters of my latest book and followed it up by one of mine:
“We are all different and our differences are what make us strong. We are all weeds.”

Weeds always seem to be a plant in the wrong place. And, yet we can take heart that this little weed growing in the middle of the road or a crack in the sidewalk conveys bravery and an ability to thrive in the worst conditions. People are like weeds in the way we survive the worst conditions. Like weeds, we are both wild and beautiful, and emerge into places we thought we’d never be, bravely pushing through no matter the odds. We can be in the wrong place at the right time and that’s a good thing. We can be both vulnerable and brave at the same time. Nothing can bring us down unless we allow it to happen.

I am always plucking and mulching at the weeds in my gardens. I try to enjoy the gardens I have created, and weeds seem to always want to take over! And why not? It’s a super soil of nurturing nutrients. They want the same thing as the rest of the plants (and people).

I ask myself, “Do I do the same thing with my life? Maybe weeds are just those things that get in the way of the life I want to live. Trying to create something beautiful in my backyard is challenging work. But wasting too much time plucking the weeds and not planting new plants, drains my time and my energy. All those human distractions out there do the same thing. The saying in the weeds refers to an overwhelming amount of work or being too immersed in something complex. Maybe we can take a step back, appreciate the weeds (except thistle – I loathe thistle!) and let them be for a season. However, if they choke out your beautiful plants, go ahead and pluck them out. That’s okay, too. For more insights on this metaphor see:
http://katherinediuguid.squarespace.com/longing-to-belong

The important thing to remember is try not to be too judgy, “The only difference between a weed and a flower is judgement. Remember that. Remember it on your darkest days and your sunniest moments. Remember it when life is burdensome and when it’s glorious. Remember that no matter what road you travel, there will be weeds.”
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/weed-flower-wendy-rumrill

So fellow weeds, I ask you to hang in there and we’ll all get through everything together. Here’s another quote from the book (and Bob Marley). I think it sums up what I wanted to say tonight! Love and hugs to all who venture into and beyond the weeds!

“Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you riding through the ruts,
Don’t you complicate your mind
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don’t bury your thoughts;
put your vision to reality.” —Bob Marley

From Dollhouses to Wild Woods: A Journey of Imagination

My mother helped us plant the initial flower gardens in front of the Dollhouse. We had many flower bulbs and annuals that she’d given us from the bigger garden. Our spring ritual was to loosen all the dirt and replant the annuals that didn’t survive the winter. Winters were tricky for plant growth in the south with lots of freezing rain and sleet. It is a hugely different climate than Colorado. Annuals don’t survive here. They are delegated to pots that are planted every year.

My grandparents taught our parents how to save seeds. My dad taught us how to keep the seeds in old baby food jars. We learned how to clean the seeds and store them on a special shelf he had built for us in the barn. He made cutouts in the wood, nailed the tops of the jars in place, and we screwed the jars into the lids. They were off the floor so the critters couldn’t get to them, and we were able to keep the seeds dry and cool until spring planting. Cross-pollination brought about some interesting new colors. Each year, the spring rains brought us a beautiful display of color. We plucked wildflowers and dandelions from the flowerbed and the yard, creating bouquets for our little tables in the Dollhouse.

We kept the inside of the Dollhouse swept out and mopped clean. We learned that lesson from my mother who assigned us our daily chores in her house. Both places were spotless.

Within these make-believe family walls, I was the director of my own play. The doll families were the players. They were a pioneer family traveling across America to Colorado. Outside the Dollhouse, they were cowboys and indians chasing each other on horseback (the propane tank in the yard), and the woods were the Big Woods, aptly named after the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, that I repeatedly read.

We bought all the dolls from the five-and-dime in the big city (Athens), or they were handmade by my grandmothers. My powerful imagination took them to places I would someday visit and live.

On the extremely hot and sweaty summer days, we ventured to the woods behind the Dollhouse. This was our open playground. It was a place my mother allowed us to be wild and free but only so far. She wanted us to be in her range so she could holler at us when it was time to come home. Our favorite place was one of mystery, an area my mother uncovered in her incessant cleaning and taming of the woods. (We believed that it was her British ancestry that made her want to tame the woods, creating sculptured scenery, not the Indian wild woods that we had.)

The mysterious area was just past the food gardens that my father diligently planted each year. The bumps or Hills, as we called them, were located close to the woods that eventually led up to the dirt road we lived on. My mother told me they were Indian mounds left by the Cherokee. We don’t really know if they were burial mounds. They looked too small. They didn’t look like the ones we saw in the mountains of Georgia, so we didn’t think much about it. Perhaps they were ceremonial places. So, we each claimed our own mound. We had vines that we swung down and landed on top of them (until she chopped them down because she deemed them unsafe of course). Years later, my mother told me my grandfather bulldozed the bigger ones flat, which was now under our garden. He didn’t like it that those folks from the University (of Georgia) came snooping around looking for Indian artifacts. Later, I was sad to think about that. I wanted to know about the people that came before us. Were we descendants of these people? Did we just kick them off their land? It was too much to ponder for such a young girl.

There were tall poplar trees located by the Indian mounds. We knew that they were old. We would join hands and try to clasp around them. They were wider than all three of us put together. Years later, they were toppled over by hurricane force winds from one of the worst tornadoes that I remember.

I remember practicing my clarinet under the shade of those trees. My mother made me get out of the house because she didn’t want to hear all that squeaking noise. I thought about that later in life and realized she was not much of a music enthusiast. Today, I passed on my love of music to my son, and I let him practice inside the house. He played the trumpet. Every year I thank my Uncle Eddie who gave me my first clarinet and encouraged me every step of the way. He was such a believer in the arts and a colorful character who never fit into the deep south attitudes. He has his own story I’ll save for a later date. He was such an inspiration for the arts, and I learned a lot from him.

We had so many chores around the house and farm, but we were always given time to play. I believe my mother would have wanted us to be more sophisticated, more like the town kids, but we loved the country. We took off our shoes when we ended the school year and went barefoot all summer.

We made up our own tales which were supplemented from the boxes of books brought to us by the Athens Bookmobile. Once a month, we would hear the pneumatic brakes and run up the long, dirt driveway to the road where they parked. We crawled up into the truck, excited to see what was there. It seemed cavernous when we were young. We spent hours in that hot truck, poring over the new releases. We each walked away with boxes of our favorite reads.

We didn’t have a lot of money, were country bumpkins to the town kids, but we loved our small piece of paradise.

We eventually grew out of all our imaginative play. Teen drama would ensue, and we all went our separate ways. We went off to college and although it was only thirty-five minutes away, we would never recapture those carefree times. Life made us grow up and move on. I will always have fond memories of those early joyful and imaginative adventures that allowed me to create a mental picture of how the world should be. My sisters stayed in Georgia, but I moved to Colorado, trekking across America in a packed 1972 Toyota Corolla. And that is an adventure for next time.

I would love to hear your beautiful stories that you remember about your childhood. Keep up the holiday spirit and remember: Colorado Gives day is December 10th. Please give what you can to those in need. Love and Hugs to all!

More Bad Puns to Enjoy:

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.

Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at!

What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.

Can February March? No, but April May.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

(Loud groans are okay.)