Tag Archives: health

National Curmudgeons Day

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A curmudgeon personality is characterized by a tendency to critically evaluate stimuli, with both negative- and positive-normed stimuli viewed negatively (negative dispositional attitudes). Curmudgeons see positive- and negative-emotion qualities, and evidently in the same attitude object, but they weigh qualities to avoid higher than qualities to approach. Excerpt from: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886915301148

Today is National Curmudgeons Day! We have become what we’re celebrating, but it’s okay if we embrace it and try to dig out of the sadness!

Among other things celebrated today are:
Puzzle Day
Corn Chip Day
Seeing Eye Dog Day
Freethinkers Day

I am just grateful to still be here after this crazy month! I hope I’m not the doom-and-gloom curmudgeon some of my relatives and friends are, but I have a tendency to go down that road more often than I’d like to. I am, however, forced to be in the world of technology, so I don’t grouse (too much) about all of that (I definitely don’t go back to that crutch: Well, in the old days…. We are certainly back in the old days right now, so come on, folks! Even at my lowest point lately, I know things are changing, and we should not wish to return to the past. So, I implore you all to embrace the future in a positive way, one that doesn’t involve the madness we have right now. Phew!

But of course, this got me thinking about the last one: Freethinkers Day:

Fast Andy or POTUS and Past Lives episode (The Rookie, Season 8, Episode 2). In this episode, the president comes to Los Angeles, and of course, the local police have to work with the Secret Service and other Federal agencies to get the president safely through their town. There is a perceived assassination threat, and havoc ensues. Turns out, one of Nolan’s rookies, Selena, who understands things that are not quite of this world, especially past lives, is paired up with a secret service agent who believes he is the secret service man who failed to protect Lincoln, and he was reincarnated to be the agent who protects the current president. The interesting takeaway from this scenario is that, although Selena understands there are many layers to this world, not everyone is reincarnated as a famous person. We may be a product of our family’s history, but we weren’t all famous.

So this led me down the path of what a Free Thinker really entails, and what is real?
In my mind, the connection to this current drama brought back the 1990s SNL: Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts and his obsurdacles (my word for it). It helped me understand that those Deep Thoughts are what some people come up with when faced with real facts.

It also made me return to all of the old fantasies about a world beyond what we see every day. You know, what some people call the woo-woo stuff, such as in the fantasy books of Charles de Lint, a Canadian fantasy author. I once connected and felt the energies beyond the so-called natural world. Re-reading his books made me think about what else is out there and how I can tap back into this energy and help others who are struggling. His novels about the old ways speak a profound message if you take the time to think. Whether we believe it is real doesn’t make it less real. We should all try to understand others’ thoughts about the origin of our reality and where we go when we leave this plane of existence. The new gods don’t allow us to explore meanings beyond the dogma and message of doom being poured out to the masses. We have a choice in what we do with our lives. We can take a chance and speak out and defy fear. We have a choice to be those Free Thinkers who sort through all the materials and come up with solutions that make sense. We can choose to reject ridiculous explanations for wrongdoing when we see it with our own eyes. We have a choice to do the right thing every day of our lives. And, if it comes to it where we are in harm’s way to protect others, that is the right choice. That is what we need to do.

So, as we age, I hope we all become wiser people and surpass our parents’ wisdom. I hope we reach out and connect with others to solve the devastating problems that are ongoing, and not put our heads back in the sand or under a blanket, hoping it will be better tomorrow. I hope each day we reach out to those in need and embrace the consequences of our actions, without fear of retribution from the crazies. Let’s all try not to become a curmudgeon this day. Let’s all work on positivity!

And, so what if you burst into the “Gopher Guts” song in mid-afternoon because it popped into your head and made you laugh? (I know you know it!) It’s a mechanism to keep your sanity in this world of denial and chaos. Go ahead, sing along! You’ll be happy you did! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR1ajf5Yh7w

I love you all and stay warm and cozy!

Making Up for Lost Time

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Why do we think we always have to make up for lost time? Is time really lost? Are those tasks that we didn’t do in the past causing us to vigorously complete them now? Why is it so hard for us to focus on the present? Why are we compensating for our past? Is frantically pushing forward for the wrong cause the right thing to do? How do we get rid of the thorn in our side that won’t go away or in my case, a thistle in my finger?

Do we want to die forever seeking something from our past, or do we want to move forward freely and become a part of something bigger and better? When I was a younger, fit woman, I listened to cassette tapes with my favorite workout specialists such as Jane Fonda, Kathy Smith, or even Heather Locklear. (Whoa! Talk about the 80’s!) There were many walking tapes and I strode happily into the distance with these women, one step at a time. They inspired me and even talked about taking things One Step At A Time or Moving Freely Forward. I was always seeking a faster pace, better results from workouts, generally always looking for something leaner, better, more, more, more! What I failed to realize is that our bodies aren’t built to keep up that pace. We can never get back that twenty-something body. It is just not the way humans are built. The faster we go, the slower we gain results. So, I realized I could take that mentality and slow down just a little bit to enjoy where I am at any time in my aging self and let life evolve. After injury, or surgery or just life’s disasters, I keep part of that younger mentality, but get right back up and try something different that will work better at my age.

All the pills and ads in the world about weight loss aren’t healthy and obsessing of what we woulda, shoulda, coulda leads us down a path that is depressing. I keep trying for perfection, and yet I can also be happy where I am at this point in my life. I’m not giving up, just slowing down a little and I am learning to live with that. Every day is a journey to stay alive in this world of crazy. If I can focus on putting that one foot forward, I can focus on being the person I want to be at any given point in time. I can be happy with my accomplishments and future that is wide open. Can you say the same thing?

Here are a few great quotes to ponder on where you are at this very point in your life.

  • “You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.”–Elizabeth Taylor
  • “If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the torches in the woods, keep going. If there’s shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.”–Harriet Tubman
  • “You were not made for failure; you were made for victory. Go forward with a joyful confidence.”–George Eliot
  • “Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”–Rainer Maria Rilke
  • “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”–Amy Anderson
    Quotes from: https://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/moving-forward-quotes/

So when the world goes to H#!! and everything dies, there will still be roaches, mosquitoes and thistle. All of our concerted efforts are for nought if we keep rushing by. So let’s just focus on what we can do for the rest of our years and slow down a little. We will never make up for our lost time, so just be in the moment every moment every day of your lives. And, yes, my metaphor (or punishment) for my lost time will be digging up that ever-present, blasted thistle in my flower beds! (Why is it sooooo resilient?) Arrrggh.

I love you all and hope you are thinking good thoughts and making magic happen for all those folks who need you!

Routine and Ritual

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There’s a guy in our office who brings a large can of SpaghettiOs for lunch EVERY DAY. He heats them in the microwave in a large plastic Kool Whip type of bowl and consumes the whole can. How he eats that everyday is beyond me. I think that is his go to happy place routine. Maybe it reminds him of his afternoon snack or dinner with his mom or siblings. It’s just his thing. It may even be his ritual to get through the day.

We all have a daily routine, but it’s how we embrace it in the present and learn to grow it when change occurs. And what is the difference between routine and ritual? How do we perceive our actions? Does a routine entail a simple chore that must be completed to get to the next chore? Or is a routine a set of actions that bring “…meaning, learning or joy” into our lives?

“A daily routine is a series of tasks that you complete every day in the same order.” For me it is getting up in the morning, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, applying a little makeup, getting dressed, and making a breakfast or lunch, depending on if I am working that day. I may have time to check my home email and write a little in the morning, but then I go to the rec center or work depending on the day. At the end of the day, I like to come home, change clothes (take off the damned bra!) and get a snack and something to drink. I finish my writing, then clean up the kitchen and prepare dinner. Most nights we eat together in front of the TV, but when kiddo is home, we have a meal at the table. It’s always nice to catch up. That is a pretty good routine, albeit a lot of chore time.

“A daily ritual is similar to a daily routine since they are also a series of tasks that are completed in the same order. But a daily ritual differs in its intention. Daily rituals are meaningful practices and are internally motivated. A daily ritual can provide energy and enjoyment along with efficiency and structure. A ritual is a carefully selected way of doing something that has a sense of purpose and a positive side effect in addition to the straightforward completion of the task.”

Maybe the ritual started out as a chore, but I figured out how to make some of the things motivating and meaningful. For example, I use some lovely dishes and cups for my snack while I’m checking email or preparing notes for a blog. Maybe it’s the ritual of preparing the meal by taking out the ingredients, reading and following a recipe, or winging it with a new dish. Or, maybe it’s about processing a scene from the book with my spouse to figure out the ending. There is even a morning ritual of sorts where I take a look at our spending and savings to know where I’m at so I don’t worry about it all week. Reframing chores to the concept of “mentally preparing for my day” makes you a better person. “There’s a balance to be found with routine and ritual. We’ll always have routines that we need to do to be efficient. There’s always stuff that simply needs to be done. But there’s a lot of value in finding routines, (or even parts of routines), that we can turn into rituals for the benefit of a better day.”

“Rituals are the foundation upon which great work is completed. The difference between a daily routine and a daily ritual is intention….Creating daily rituals can help you be successful, whether that’s succeeding at business, creating amazing art, or becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.” For more information on this excerpt go to:
https://www.lifehack.org/847758/daily-rituals

Another way to look at rituals versus routines is this lovely chart that I found on another website:

AttributeRitualRoutine
DefinitionA set of actions performed in a specific order for a specific purposeA sequence of actions regularly followed
Emotional ConnectionOften associated with emotional significance or spiritual meaningMay lack emotional significance and be more practical in nature
FlexibilityLess flexible and more structuredMore flexible and can be adjusted as needed
FrequencyUsually performed on specific occasions or eventsRegularly performed on a daily or weekly basis
IntentionPerformed with a specific intention or purpose in mindMay be performed out of habit or necessity

“Rituals and routines are essential components of our daily lives, each offering unique benefits and serving distinct purposes. While rituals are steeped in tradition, symbolism, and meaning, routines provide structure, efficiency, and predictability. By understanding the differences between the two and incorporating both into our lives, we can create a harmonious balance that enhances our well-being and enriches our experiences.” Feel free to check out this website for more information: https://thisvsthat.io/ritual-vs-routine

Change can unbalance us, but it’s how we balance these factors that make us a whole person—one that allows us to keep up with ourselves. Since I went back to work, my daily routine was disrupted and I had to get back to the essential rituals that helped me keep calm and centered. It takes me a little longer to process my daily thoughts after work, and sometimes I just have to sit for a few minutes to decompress before taking on the chores at home. I love reading a good book before I embrace the blog or novel. I love making dinner and cleaning up the dishes after the meal so they aren’t an eyesore in the mornings when I have to get up. I love to knit while watching TV at night. And I combine my Senior lunch day or Senior choir day with a workout afterwards. And in the summer I am in the yard! Happy times are a comin’ soon! If we keep trying to establish our rituals, we’ll feel whole, no matter what is thrown at us on a daily basis.

I love this rain! Thank the heavens for releasing it to this thirsty earth. Love to all tonight! Sleep well.

Sometimes It’s Okay to Ask for Help

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Thank you kiddo for helping me today. Sometimes technology can be overwhelming to us oldsters but when someone like you shows me the way, it is a beautiful thing. Thanks for being you!

And on that note, take a look at my new book page! It looks so much nicer! Still working on Book III for both bigs and smalls for the series. (And after publication, he will help me once again, I’m sure!)

So my lesson for today is it’s okay to ask for help of any kind, but take notes and remember it for the future when you are endeavoring to learn something new. Don’t give up and feel overwhelmed about it (and don’t blame others because things are changing constantly in this world). Just remember the good ole’ days weren’t really that good and we can seek to find new ways to help each other every day we are on this planet.

A society that has isolated us in the past has made up feel like we have to go it alone when facing bad days and tough decisions. I have felt the guilt that my accomplishments haven’t been worthy by some people. I have faced difficult times where no one believed in the things I believed in. It has been hard to ask for help in my adult life and when I go it alone, I have a huge fear of failure.

So as I age, I have been trying to help others, even though I get a little annoyed when they don’t give back the way I feel they should. I admit to this flaw, and still go on to do the best I can every day. Our lives have been molded by stressors that pile up every day because others don’t feel we little guys are worthy of their help. So each day I ask the world and all of us little guys in it to care a little bit more about others. I ask everyone to be kind and just don’t worry about it. Giving of ourselves is free, and sometimes it just makes us feel better about our current situation. It’s a hard task for all, but we will persevere if we worry a little less. I’m still working on that part.

For more information about asking for help, go to:
https://www.wondermind.com/article/asking-for-help/

Take care of yourselves and others tonight and enjoy the warmth before the next storm!

Laugh Everyday – Ode to C. W. Metcalf

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Today was an insane Monday in our little slice of city employment dominion. We had sooooo much mail that it took us over 2 hours to process it. Then, we had to enter everything into the computer. My co-worker and I got through it with her funny life stories and talking trash about some of the folks who sent the information in to us. We laughed, we cried, and all the while we felt so alive.

We all know the cliché—“laughter is the best medicine.”  According to the Heart Foundation, “…studies have shown how laughing through life is beneficial for your health. Laughing lowers stress, reduces anger, and forces us to breathe. But there is a specific science to laughter and why it is so good for your heart. Here are the top 5 reasons you should laugh every single day:

  • Increases blood flow.
  • It counts as cardio.
  • Strengthens your immune system.
  • Reduces stress. 
  • The benefits last.
5 Reasons You Should Laugh Everyday

And here are some more interesting fun facts on the Everyday Health website:
“Laughter is the physical manifestation of finding something funny, and it can help to reduce inflammation and stress hormones, improve circulation, and enhance the immune system.”
“Laughing changes brain activity.”
“Just a moment of laughter can allow us to think more clearly and creatively and strengthen a sense of connection with others.”

  • Don’t Worry About Being ‘Funny.’
  • Curate Your Comedy Collection.
  • Take a Laugh Break
  • Tap Laughter to Learn More
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Lighten Up

https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/how-to-laugh-more-every-single-day-why-its-so-good-for-you/

In 1992, C.W. Metcalf and Roma Felible authored a book called Lighten Up. I read this book to lighten up stressful situations when we were all under pressure. Being in law enforcement I understand the dark humor we all would use to relieve that pressure valve. Metcalf told us it was ok to laugh about horrible situations to “…release endorphins [that] diminish physical and psychological pain.” He also suggested that “…we quit focusing on the idiocy of others and the cruel circumstances of a universe that seems, at times, to be conspiring against us.” Finally, he talked about the three basic skills he hoped people would come away with after reading the book:

  • The First Humor Skill: The ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations.
  • The Second Humor Skill: The ability to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously.
  • The Third Humor Skill: A disciplined sense of joy in being alive.

Like me, he was a boomer but grew up in the wild 1960’s. He identified with what it felt like turning 40 as an age where we were becoming our parents. We never thought we would and were disheartened. However, we saw the humor in it and moved on and tried to get along with everyone, even those grumpy folks! This book is one I would highly recommend to old and young readers to work through his process. He was a great writer and even more wonderful human being.

Here is an obituary of sorts created on a Facebook page to show how he impacted others.

“C.W. Metcalf was a highly respected teacher, performer, and author on the use of humor in stress management. His message was based on research with crisis and trauma survivors who remained healthy, resilient, and creative under pressure. Eventually, C.W.’s own life-and-death battles inspired him the most, as he recovered from two brain cancer surgeries and battled adult leukemia. In one of my all-time favorite MASTERS interviews, C.W. shared his cancer survivor’s joy in being alive. Sadly, C.W. lost his battle in 2007, but his powerful message is a wonderful legacy for all of us.”
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mastersbywinnclaybaugh

So, wind down from the day, see the humor in all of it. Pat yourself on the back for getting through everything and enjoy the evening of mindless TV. And sing and laugh a little bit tonight. I love you all!

We’ll Sing in the Sunshine

Mental Processing

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“The gears of the mind turn in mysterious ways, propelling us through the complexities of thought and emotion – a captivating dance that forms the very essence of our human experience.”—Neurolaunch, 2024

Today was an overload day. We went to the Xfinity store and got our new phones. We went from Samsung Galaxy S8s to Galaxy S25+. What a dramatic change! Everything looks a little different! The initial purchase was a whirlwind as everything is up in that giant nebulous satellite world, even the Sim cards! And we got a huge discount because it was before March 18th. Most of the information downloaded okay in the store, albeit it took a very long time on the Bluetooth connection. We had to come home and fix a few things, but now we are slowly getting used to them. There were sooooo many apps that I had forgotten about! And we had to login to everything once again. My brain is in overload mode right now.

So after making dinner and cleaning up, I looked up mental processing. I found some interesting facts. A website called Neurolaunch speaks of our thoughts as an “…intricate ballet of neural activity, hidden beneath the surface of our consciousness….”
The study is a “…journey to unravel the enigmatic workings of the human mind, exploring the very core of what makes us who we are.”
https://neurolaunch.com/mental-processes-definition-psychology/

The 8 mental processes can be “…broadly categorized into eight types: Sensation, Perception, Attention, Learning, Memory, Language, Motivation, and Emotion.” These categories shape human cognition. https://psychemaster.com/mental-processes-definition-in-psychology

“These cognitive mechanisms shape our perceptions, guide our decisions, and influence our behaviors in ways both subtle and profound. By peering into the inner workings of the mind, we gain invaluable insights into the human condition, opening doors to improved mental health, enhanced learning techniques, and a deeper appreciation for the richness of human cognition.”
It is important for us to understand that mental processes are:
1. Internal and often not directly observable.
2. Involve the manipulation of information within the mind.
3. Conscious or unconscious.
4. Dynamic and can change over time.
5. Influenced by both internal and external factors.

Mental Processes in Psychology: Defining the Core of Human Cognition

Further information can be found at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/202006/what-are-mental-processes

So I believe that our brains are enormous and process so much information so very fast. It’s when we get overwhelmed that we have to just sit a minute and breathe. Yes, we can learn lots of new things at a time, but sometimes our plates are so full that we get a little stressed out. I am the worst person to be telling this to everyone else because I probably am one of those stressors. I want to know it very fast and forget to close my mouth before the next thought comes forward. (And I usually say it out loud!) I have to realize that we all process at different rates (Bluetooth transfers to home connections comparisons in this case). So, take a breath, count to 10 and then ask the next question. We’ll all figure out those life lessons (and new phones) more quickly if we take a break between thoughts. Thanks for listening tonight.

I love you all! Stay safe out there!

How We Communicate as We Age

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Welllll…yesterday I was in music La La Land, wrapped up in tunes from long ago and far away for our next concert. So, I didn’t get around to posting, and I broke my writing streak! But “I’m back, baby!” Day 107, and counting up again! Frank Costanza-Seinfeld

Recently, I have been hanging out with a bunch of seniors and I have been pondering how we communicate, because we all seem to be talking at the same time and none of us are listening to what each of us are saying.

For example, I explain something or try and state what needs to be done, and the other person bounces back and said, “So you want me to do this (some task at hand that we’ve agreed to)?” And, I said, “No, I want you to do this.” And it goes back and forth like this verbally until I think they finally hear me. Or so I thought. Then, I get a text and they say, “You want me to do this?” And I text back, and say, “Noooo. I want you to do this.” And, then I get an email saying, “So I’m doing this, right?” At that point I get a little exasperated and say it one more time, hoping for the best outcome, or I say, “Never mind, I’ll do it.” So here’s the thing. Am I communicating the task clearly? Or is the other person communicating what’s in their head and not listening? Or do they just not want to listen or do the task at hand, even though they volunteered?

There have been several studies conducted on our aging brains over the last 20 years, and here are some brief summaries of what I have discovered that might be the cause of our communication dilemmas:

-Hearing Loss: Sometimes we just don’t literally hear what the other person is saying whether it is a physical manifestation, or background noise inhibiting what is being said. Closing the door to noises and speaking one on one to relay the message you intended is helpful.
-Elderspeak: We are so used to people feeding us (seniors) information in small bits, almost as if they were speaking to babies, and over-explaining topics, that we tend to stop listening when others use long sentences. While explaining things in a slower speech, not using complex sentences and repeating the facts may work for those who are really impaired. However, sometimes this method backfires on those who are still cognitively with us. We need to explain things thoroughly, but we need to continue to speak to adults like adults in hopes that they become better listeners, and thus better doers.
-Word Retrieval Failures: Sometimes we call these senior moments. We are receiving the information as a transmission, but we don’t know how to retrieve the response from our brain because the connections have weakened over time. For example, this is particularly common when we are trying to think of the name of a famous person or actor. I continue to blank on Elijah Wood for some reason. I have to look him up every time I am trying to relate a story or a movie he’s in (Frodo in Lord of the Rings, duh…) And I love his works, so why do I forget that?

These are only a few items that have been discussed in the National Institute of Health’s publication. Check it out and read this interesting paper on some of the earliest discoveries of our aging brains: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97337/

Back in the early 2000s, there was much discussion about using technology to help others understand what we are saying. For example, there have been great strides in the speech to text capabilities and use of computers and phones to translate what is being said. This is a wonderful tool, and folks like Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania is a great advocate of this. He has a brain injury and uses technology to help him understand speech and the language of others. Sometimes I think groups that I am currently involved in could use this technique to relay messages. They would also benefit the use of this technology as a learning tool to actively listen.

In a Psychology Today article Language, Comprehension and the Aging Brain, the author discusses the concepts of working memory and  verbal fluency. “Working memory is our ability to remember and manipulate a small chunk of information in an immediate context, as opposed to committing something to our longer-term memory (e.g., to remember that information at some later point) or even just holding information while we jot it down but don’t alter it…” (commonly known as short-term memory).

Verbal fluency is being able to communicate information from any category and relay it to another person. “For instance, when asked to come up with as many names as they [seniors] can for a given category (e.g., plants or animals), [is] a task requiring them to search through word meanings that have been cognitively stored, older adults generate fewer terms overall and have less range in terms of the terms they come up with.”

This article suggests that “…print exposure, i.e., reading experience, not only helps by providing another source of information to draw upon when making semantic or syntactic decisions but also might even compensate for declines in those with poor working memory. For more information on this article see: Working Memory-Aging Brain

Some people have a hard time with my fast-paced talking and desire to always learn new things. They get brain headaches when listening to me. I try and slow down my process for them the best I can, but there is always so much to be learned out in the world, and I want to share that knowledge. I don’t want my brain to atrophy as I age. I hope I am in the classification called the Cognitive Super Ager, but who knows? I haven’t taken the tests. I implore you to read up on this phenomena found on the web. It’s fascinating!

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/brain-health/how-aging-brain-affects-thinking
https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/cognitive-super-agers-defy-typical-age-related-decline-brainpower

I hope you all take a moment to appreciate this information and pass it on to your loved ones and friends who might be struggling. I know I will continue to read and learn as long as I am able, and I hope when my eyesight (and possibly brain) starts to fail, someone will read to me about new and exciting adventures and discoveries!

I love you all and hope you are enjoying every moment with your friends and families!

Interconnectedness

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Today’s reflection is about how we are connected in the world and how we communicate through the airwaves. The dictionary describes connectedness as the state of being connected and having a close relationship with other things or people. I believe that each person is their own distinct, physical being, but they can be connected to each other and nature in many ways. Connectedness is not necessarily bound by physical touch or language. Sometimes we just know something is going on, for example in a dream, or a stray thought. Years ago, I knew when each parent died. They came in my dreams to say goodbye. There are many examples that we have where we just knew something, the feeling that something was wrong, or got something in the mail that we knew was coming, and we called to check on the people that we loved.

We feel the emotions amplifying in a crowd, especially fear and anger. Perhaps that’s why we are feeling despair and discontent over decisions that are being made in the highest offices. We feel what over fifty percent of people are collectively feeling. Our interconnectedness is physical, emotional, and cognitive. Our global shared consciousness reaches out into all of our mental spaces. We are not individual islands and must become part of a bigger world, the ocean of mental waves.

If we share this despair, perhaps we can determine at a higher level that we are not alone in our thoughts and reach out to each other in our mental states. We should be free to keep the memories of the past, but make new memories and friends who share a common goal – protecting democracy and the people of all nations and races. Billionaires should learn from their families’ histories and be better human beings. They should learn how to connect with all those who are in need. Fascism cannot reign and must not be ignored in our society. It happened once before, and we wholeheartedly fought it. We must fight the good fight right now and restore a fair and balanced world. We have buried our forefathers and now we are the elders. We must act like the good and kind ones, and make progress towards fixing what has been broken, one little act of kindness at a time.

In Alice Hoffman’s latest book, The Bookstore Keepers, she stated, “Some things [will] always be remembered because they [are] handed down, things like love and memories and stories.”

For the rest of our lives, let’s remember the love and the beautiful stories handed down to us by telling our children about our past, both good and bad things that happened and what we learned as a result of our actions or in-actions. Let’s ask them not to repeat the bad parts of history and strive to make the world a better, and more peaceful place to live out their lives.

I love you all and wish only the best each day. Hugs tonight for those who need it.

Pause and Breathe and Schedule Worry Time

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Today seemed more stressful than others because I have a lot on my plate right now. So, of course I went searching on the web and found a bazillion articles on this subject. I found so many similarities of what to do but, this Calm website focused it a little for me. I don’t agree with everything, and decided to analyze what they were saying.
https://blog.calm.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-feel-overwhelmed

Every self-help article has the classic how-to list regarding how to feel less overwhelmed. I feel I have embraced most of them and yet there are just those days. Here are a few of those listed from this website:

The first of the 12 on their list was to just pause and breathe. I tell this to people all the time and yet it is a hard step for me.

These articles always talk about talking to other people. I am good at that, but it doesn’t always solve the immediate problem. So I usually end up helping others solve their problem.

Meditation is another one that’s listed. I have a friend who runs a meditation class but my brain doesn’t shut off. It’s a practice, I know. So the main problem is how to schedule this time for the practice, right?

Journaling is always listed. I journal each day and try to let go of the day, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It just brings all the thoughts into more focus.

And of course every article tells you to get some sleep. Well, I can tell you I am like the woman on the show High Potential and sleep never happens easily. Neither of us know how to shut down our brains. I am so enamored of people who can actually sleep 8 hours a day. I have never been able to do that. And pills make me crazy the next day so I gave up on that!

There is always the Focus on What You Can Control. When did that ever work?

Get moving! I definitely know how to exercise and that has helped. And once the weather gears toward spring, I’ll be out in my garden. That is the best for me!

Break larger tasks into smaller steps. Trust me, I am the queen of spreadsheets and that still doesn’t help. You still have to do all of those things you have broken down so how does that help?

And finally, this was a laughable one: Schedule Worry Time. The article said, “Set aside a specific time to think about your worries. Outside of this time, try to keep your focus on the present.” Unfortunately, the worries are the focus in every present moment so I didn’t get that one. Who can do that?

So, I know baking, knitting, gardening, and walks in nature help me. I can bake, knit, and walk inside right now. I know we are in a time of chaos, and the status will eventually reach equilibrium. If we can be vigilant with our thoughts and actions we can get through the day without being overwhelmed. That’s what I am working on and hope the sun will come out soon. I love you all and feel the intensity of the world right now. Hang in there!

https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/cat-hanging-in-there

The Four Agreements – By Don Miguel Ruiz

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I re-visited this book today. The author, Don Miguel Ruiz, was born in rural Mexico, the youngest of 13 children. He attended medical school, and became a surgeon. The Four Agreements, published in 1997, was a New York Times bestseller for more than a decade.

In this time of outrageous people (and news) who rant on the TV and computer I recommend you read this if you haven’t already. It presents a code for personal freedom based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The four agreements are:

1.         Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean in the kindest of ways, and use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Words are powerful tools and we know that they can create or destroy, uplift, or bring down. Being impeccable with your word means not using words against yourself or others. Gossip, lies, and negative self-talk are examples of being non-impeccable. By being careful and truthful in our speech, we can avoid causing harm and instead spread positivity.

2.         Don’t Take Anything Personally.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. People’s reactions and behaviors are often based on their own beliefs, experiences, and wounds. By not taking things personally, we protect ourselves from unnecessary hurt. For instance, if someone insults you, it’s more about their own issues than about you. Recognizing this helps in maintaining emotional equilibrium and not getting entangled in other people’s dramas.

3.         Don’t Make Assumptions.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. Making assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Don’t assume people are ignoring you if they don’t return calls or get back to you. Talk to them when you see them again. Seek clarity and not making assumptions, we can navigate our relationships and situations more effectively.

4.         Always Do Your Best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. By always doing our best, we live without regrets. It’s important to understand that “our best” can vary. Some days we might be full of energy and enthusiasm, while on others we might be tired or unwell. The key is to give the best of what we have in the present moment, without being overly critical of ourselves.
https://booksthatslay.com/the-4-agreements-summary/

I have seen these written as a poster many times and recommend you buy or download it and put it on your refrigerator!

More on this topic tomorrow night. Love to all on this cold night! Take care of each other!