Dru Tieben's Writing Corner

Musings and Meanderings

A Guide to Adulting: Building Patience and Managing Bills

Posted on April 17, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

The week started out with a woman shouting into my ear on the telephone, causing me to pull the headset off. I was trying to figure out what she wanted. I process out loud, so I’m sure she just thought if she said it louder I could understand her. I eventually got her to stop shouting and figured out who she needed to talk to, but WOW! They heard her in the other room of my office! As I have stated so many times before on this blog as well as in real life, “People, just take a breath, and wait a few minutes!” Have a little respect for those on the other end of the conversation and give us a second to process what you need to know.

I ponder every day about what the underlying factor of our impatience and discontent with the universe is right now. I understand there are too many negative thoughts and actions that are occurring in our world out there, and there is not much we can do about all of them, all at once. But I also understand that anything worth doing takes patience and we can get there one task at a time if we just try.

According to Psychology Today:
“The word impatience is “im” + “patience,” which, on its face, means “a lack of patience.” Patience seems like a substantial thing—a specific mental process. By contrast, impatience is thought to be nothing but a lack of patience. But this gets things backwards: Impatience, it turns out, is a very particular mental and physical process that gets triggered under specific circumstances, and which motivates specific kinds of decisive action. “Patience” is really the shadow term, signifying a lack of impatience.”

It’s important to understand the “seven laws of impatience.” If we go through the steps before we ask someone else help us figure out our problem, we might get there without shouting the poor person on the receiving end.

Impatience is not a lack of patience.
Impatience is triggered when we have a goal, and realize it’s going to cost us more than we thought to reach it.
Impatience motivates us to reduce the costs of reaching our goal, or to switch goals.
Impatience and indignation are a potent combination.
We’re more likely to feel impatient when we have more options.
Impatience can cost us.
Impatience can benefit us.

And as a final note, here are the questions that appeared in the article that we should attempt to answer before we cause grief in others who are trying to help us:

“What is my goal?
What did I think it was going to cost to reach this goal?
What are the additional costs I’m now aware of?
Am I blaming others for these extra costs?
Is it truly their fault?
Is it worth taking on even more costs just to teach them a lesson?
Do I have too many options?
Should I find a way to limit my exposure to new options?
Are there ways to reduce the costs of reaching this goal?
Is it time to abandon this goal?”

Put simply: “Knowledge is power.” The more often you work out a problem and get your own solution, before asking for help, the more tasks you will be able to complete by yourself. You are smarter than you think and mastering something makes you feel good inside as well as accomplished! For more information, go to this article:
7 Laws of Impatience

The second part of this blog is about understanding your spending and how to pay your bills on time every month. I know that websites are hard to navigate sometime, and government systems are old, cranky, clunky and in dire need of renovation, but it doesn’t seem that hard to navigate if you read the instructions a few times before giving up.

It is my hope that all parents teach their children how to do adulting before they move out of the nest. There should be a complete manual for change for adulthood that gets handed out to children before they move out of their parents’ home. For example, one item in the book should be this:
The more we procrastinate on paying our bills, the more they add up until we become overwhelmed. And we must realize that there are consequences to not paying a bill – such as not having, electricity, heat, and water. It’s that slap in the face that should give us a wake-up call to this reality. The current situation we are in at this time makes it extremely hard to make ends meet if we are not the wealthy few. But isn’t it better to slow the credit card purchases down, and sacrifice things such as QVC buying, movies, and Door Dash orders before giving up basic needs such as heat, food, and water?

One of the greatest inventions of all times is a spreadsheet. It’s so easy to put one together. Record you expenses in one column and your income in another column. Subtract what you spend from what you make each month. And don’t forget to add a little bit to your savings every paycheck and place that in your expense column. It will add up and you can then treat yourself to something fun at the end of the year! Watch your credit card spending and know your limits. It’s as simple as that. Find a tutor to help you the first time, or go to your bank and ask them for help. I love the folks at my credit union. They helped me when I first started making my own money. I never had a lot of money, but my Dad taught me a lot of things about money and how to stretch a dollar (Okay I know it’s more these days). Even with these volatile times, we can persevere and take care of our daily living expenses. Don’t panic yet! We can all get through it if we find the patience.

I love you all on this crazy spring night. Snow is coming!

Routine and Ritual

Posted on March 29, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

There’s a guy in our office who brings a large can of SpaghettiOs for lunch EVERY DAY. He heats them in the microwave in a large plastic Kool Whip type of bowl and consumes the whole can. How he eats that everyday is beyond me. I think that is his go to happy place routine. Maybe it reminds him of his afternoon snack or dinner with his mom or siblings. It’s just his thing. It may even be his ritual to get through the day.

We all have a daily routine, but it’s how we embrace it in the present and learn to grow it when change occurs. And what is the difference between routine and ritual? How do we perceive our actions? Does a routine entail a simple chore that must be completed to get to the next chore? Or is a routine a set of actions that bring “…meaning, learning or joy” into our lives?

“A daily routine is a series of tasks that you complete every day in the same order.” For me it is getting up in the morning, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, applying a little makeup, getting dressed, and making a breakfast or lunch, depending on if I am working that day. I may have time to check my home email and write a little in the morning, but then I go to the rec center or work depending on the day. At the end of the day, I like to come home, change clothes (take off the damned bra!) and get a snack and something to drink. I finish my writing, then clean up the kitchen and prepare dinner. Most nights we eat together in front of the TV, but when kiddo is home, we have a meal at the table. It’s always nice to catch up. That is a pretty good routine, albeit a lot of chore time.

“A daily ritual is similar to a daily routine since they are also a series of tasks that are completed in the same order. But a daily ritual differs in its intention. Daily rituals are meaningful practices and are internally motivated. A daily ritual can provide energy and enjoyment along with efficiency and structure. A ritual is a carefully selected way of doing something that has a sense of purpose and a positive side effect in addition to the straightforward completion of the task.”

Maybe the ritual started out as a chore, but I figured out how to make some of the things motivating and meaningful. For example, I use some lovely dishes and cups for my snack while I’m checking email or preparing notes for a blog. Maybe it’s the ritual of preparing the meal by taking out the ingredients, reading and following a recipe, or winging it with a new dish. Or, maybe it’s about processing a scene from the book with my spouse to figure out the ending. There is even a morning ritual of sorts where I take a look at our spending and savings to know where I’m at so I don’t worry about it all week. Reframing chores to the concept of “mentally preparing for my day” makes you a better person. “There’s a balance to be found with routine and ritual. We’ll always have routines that we need to do to be efficient. There’s always stuff that simply needs to be done. But there’s a lot of value in finding routines, (or even parts of routines), that we can turn into rituals for the benefit of a better day.”

“Rituals are the foundation upon which great work is completed. The difference between a daily routine and a daily ritual is intention….Creating daily rituals can help you be successful, whether that’s succeeding at business, creating amazing art, or becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.” For more information on this excerpt go to:
https://www.lifehack.org/847758/daily-rituals

Another way to look at rituals versus routines is this lovely chart that I found on another website:

Attribute	Ritual	Routine
Definition	A set of actions performed in a specific order for a specific purpose	A sequence of actions regularly followed
Emotional Connection	Often associated with emotional significance or spiritual meaning	May lack emotional significance and be more practical in nature
Flexibility	Less flexible and more structured	More flexible and can be adjusted as needed
Frequency	Usually performed on specific occasions or events	Regularly performed on a daily or weekly basis
Intention	Performed with a specific intention or purpose in mind	May be performed out of habit or necessity

“Rituals and routines are essential components of our daily lives, each offering unique benefits and serving distinct purposes. While rituals are steeped in tradition, symbolism, and meaning, routines provide structure, efficiency, and predictability. By understanding the differences between the two and incorporating both into our lives, we can create a harmonious balance that enhances our well-being and enriches our experiences.” Feel free to check out this website for more information: https://thisvsthat.io/ritual-vs-routine

Change can unbalance us, but it’s how we balance these factors that make us a whole person—one that allows us to keep up with ourselves. Since I went back to work, my daily routine was disrupted and I had to get back to the essential rituals that helped me keep calm and centered. It takes me a little longer to process my daily thoughts after work, and sometimes I just have to sit for a few minutes to decompress before taking on the chores at home. I love reading a good book before I embrace the blog or novel. I love making dinner and cleaning up the dishes after the meal so they aren’t an eyesore in the mornings when I have to get up. I love to knit while watching TV at night. And I combine my Senior lunch day or Senior choir day with a workout afterwards. And in the summer I am in the yard! Happy times are a comin’ soon! If we keep trying to establish our rituals, we’ll feel whole, no matter what is thrown at us on a daily basis.

I love this rain! Thank the heavens for releasing it to this thirsty earth. Love to all tonight! Sleep well.

Mental Processing

Posted on March 15, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

“The gears of the mind turn in mysterious ways, propelling us through the complexities of thought and emotion – a captivating dance that forms the very essence of our human experience.”—Neurolaunch, 2024

Today was an overload day. We went to the Xfinity store and got our new phones. We went from Samsung Galaxy S8s to Galaxy S25+. What a dramatic change! Everything looks a little different! The initial purchase was a whirlwind as everything is up in that giant nebulous satellite world, even the Sim cards! And we got a huge discount because it was before March 18^th. Most of the information downloaded okay in the store, albeit it took a very long time on the Bluetooth connection. We had to come home and fix a few things, but now we are slowly getting used to them. There were sooooo many apps that I had forgotten about! And we had to login to everything once again. My brain is in overload mode right now.

So after making dinner and cleaning up, I looked up mental processing. I found some interesting facts. A website called Neurolaunch speaks of our thoughts as an “…intricate ballet of neural activity, hidden beneath the surface of our consciousness….”
The study is a “…journey to unravel the enigmatic workings of the human mind, exploring the very core of what makes us who we are.”
https://neurolaunch.com/mental-processes-definition-psychology/

The 8 mental processes can be “…broadly categorized into eight types: Sensation, Perception, Attention, Learning, Memory, Language, Motivation, and Emotion.” These categories shape human cognition. https://psychemaster.com/mental-processes-definition-in-psychology

“These cognitive mechanisms shape our perceptions, guide our decisions, and influence our behaviors in ways both subtle and profound. By peering into the inner workings of the mind, we gain invaluable insights into the human condition, opening doors to improved mental health, enhanced learning techniques, and a deeper appreciation for the richness of human cognition.”
It is important for us to understand that mental processes are:
1. Internal and often not directly observable.
2. Involve the manipulation of information within the mind.
3. Conscious or unconscious.
4. Dynamic and can change over time.
5. Influenced by both internal and external factors.

Mental Processes in Psychology: Defining the Core of Human Cognition

Further information can be found at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/202006/what-are-mental-processes

So I believe that our brains are enormous and process so much information so very fast. It’s when we get overwhelmed that we have to just sit a minute and breathe. Yes, we can learn lots of new things at a time, but sometimes our plates are so full that we get a little stressed out. I am the worst person to be telling this to everyone else because I probably am one of those stressors. I want to know it very fast and forget to close my mouth before the next thought comes forward. (And I usually say it out loud!) I have to realize that we all process at different rates (Bluetooth transfers to home connections comparisons in this case). So, take a breath, count to 10 and then ask the next question. We’ll all figure out those life lessons (and new phones) more quickly if we take a break between thoughts. Thanks for listening tonight.

I love you all! Stay safe out there!

Live and Let Live

Posted on March 10, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

“The phrase “live and let live” has been used for centuries to express a philosophy of tolerance, acceptance, and peaceful coexistence. Its origins can be traced back to various cultures throughout history, where it was often used as a guiding principle in social interactions.”
https://crossidiomas.com/live-and-let-live/

I used to believe that we were getting somewhere with respecting each other, allowing each other to make their own choices and not imposing our beliefs on others. I used to believe that good people could make good choices on their own and not be judged by some hierarchical fanatic. I used to believe that we were working on the philosophy: “And it harm none, do what thou will.” I used to believe that supporting diversity, inclusiveness, and respect for all was something that should have been the logical process for treating everyone equally, not something that needed to be legislated.

And, then came the s#*! storm. So what was the precise moment where a majority of the nation decided that this idiom should become “Live and Let Die?” Was it the election, or had we grown so weary beforehand that we just gave up and let things happen?

Perhaps now there is a growing majority of those irrational believers waking up and realizing what they have done. I hope they are remorseful and are trying to fix things after the fact. Alas, I think they are also still scared. They have given into their fears and prejudices and are holding on to something that was enforced in them by their ancestors. They also still think that the make-believe nonsense about trickle down economy of the Reagan years was real. People, this never worked! Talk to economists and get an understanding of what this means so you can be more informed in the upcoming elections. Your educated votes make a difference in our world.

I thought that we were slowly rising up out of our past and recognizing that things had to change. And yet things have changed for the worse. I can’t give up on trying to educate and encourage others to do a deep dive into history, politics, and economics, and stretch ones’ brains to understand the differences between democracy, autocracy, and blatant fascism. (Look it up!) We are part of a greater world and should own it. We have to help nations in trouble and rise up out of this pettiness. We have to stop being afraid and break our individual bubbles, or at least absorb our bubble into the next person’s bubble and on and on until we are under one big bubble. I am reading and researching and writing more than I ever used to and I encourage young and old alike to do the same. We have to move on to the next step folks. We have to bring back a nation of love and understanding for all humans who live on this planet. Only then can we become harmonious and full of love for one another. We cannot give up!

I send out love and peace to everyone tonight. Hug the person next to you and engage in a productive conversation. Learn something new every day that you are alive!

Overcoming Frustration and Riding the Peace Train

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

Frustration: a deep chronic state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs; the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

People like me are task masters and goal seekers. We always have lists, spreadsheets, lots of articles and books to read when we set out to learn something or try to solve a problem at hand. The frustration comes in when we cannot achieve a multitude of tasks that we give ourselves or have been given by someone else. We become frustrated because there are others involved in the equation and we are stymied into inaction. We can’t do anything about it because others are doing something completely different or nothing at all about it. We have to wait and see what’s next. We feel helpless because we don’t seem to be heard, or people aren’t doing the things we think they should do. We sometimes get angry at the person who we are trying to help or the person who is trying to help us.

In an article published in 2023 by Harvard Macy Institute at Harvard Medical School, the author talked about what to do if you have “…too much on your plate.” It stated that we begin to feel like victims and that “…we feel like there are so many things we have to do or are forced to do. The first step is to remember that you are the one driving. Anything on your schedule or to-do list is there by your choice, which means you get to choose whether to keep it on there in the long term, or whether to phase it off.”

The article stated that the first step is to assess just what you really need to do to get through the day or week. Second, it is important to see what is causing the overwhelming feelings. Assess what is the 20% that is causing 80% of the stress (the 80:20 rule). “If you can identify the main sources of the stress, then you can home in on ways to de-stress, minimize, complete, or step away from them. If it is not something you want to cancel, think about how you could delegate parts of it.”

The third step is to find ways to get through the next week, and the weeks after that. Maybe it’s just taking a day to get out of the house, thus out of your head. For more information go to their website:
https://harvardmacy.org/blog/too-much-on-my-plate

In my case, it was literally removing items from my work desk to focus on one task at a time. I moved the 20% stacks to the back desk so I could focus on finishing the book. Everything else could wait. And, the second thing was to stick to the morning cleanup, then writing until I went to work out. The first of my week was a bit of a clusterf*^$k, but the rest of the week went better. I refuse to let that feeling of helplessness overcome my thinking. My levels of stress will continue to be high, as the lists will always be there, whether written or just in my head, but I’m going back to the one thing at a time rule. I can only do the things I can do for now, and put off bigger life-changing decisions until later. I can’t let the anger of the world invade the space I need to solve daily problems.

There will always be some things that I can’t change right now, and I can’t quite let it go, but I can wait until I get some help on larger matters. I feel that we, as human beings, right now, on this planet need to take a collective breath, and turn off all the noise for now. We can only support each other and justify that our actions will bring about change in the world. Hope for the good things to come and try and ride the peace train for now. Love to all on this cold night.

Excerpt from PEACE TRAIN, Cat Stevens

Something good has begun
I’ve been smiling lately
Dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be
Something good’s bound to come…

I’ve been crying lately
Thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating?
Why can’t we live in bliss?…

For out on the edge of darkness
There rides the peace train
Peace train take this country
Come take me home again….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9cJRqsKZKo

The Power of Journaling: Leaving Your Mark

Posted on January 27, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I just finished reading an incredible book called The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon. The heroine, Martha Ballard, (based on a real person in history) is a midwife in the late 1700s and her trials and tribulations make me thankful that I am a woman of a certain age with personal rights and powers in this century (so far). One of the things Martha performed in this story was recording all of her activities each day (with quill and ink no less!) in her journal. In one chapter, she praised her husband for teaching her to read and write (women weren’t allowed or encouraged to do these things in her day). He helped her create a world that opened up so many possibilities. He bought her journals, and created pens for her. She asks herself why the daily writing was so important to her. Martha’s answer to herself was because her “…markings will one day be the only proof that I have existed in this world. That I have lived and breathed…It is not that I want to be remembered, per se. I have done nothing remarkable. Not by the standards of history, at least. But I am here. And these words are the mark I will leave behind.”

WOW! WOW! WOW! 5-star reviews all the way!
Lawhon’s writing inspired me to keep doing what I do. She does her research, and gives amazing details that add to the story. She is a crusader for all women! And she unpacks her story at the end of the book like I do, giving explanations and facts about how the story came to her and how she drafted the book. And, what a record to have uncovered from the past. How cool is that?

So, to me, writing is not just a daily brain exercise, but a way to leave your mark on society. And, yes, we don’t have to write with quills, or even pens and paper, but computers allow us to journal every day, and help us leave a small mark of our existence in a world of unknowns. Daily journalling (or blogging) of any kind can help ease our tortured souls and send questions out to the universe. Even if they don’t get answered, we have aired our frustrations out loud. We have voiced our thoughts on any subject that comes to mind. Sometimes we are way off the mark, but other times we are spot on. It’s this discourse that is needed to have a sane and logical existence for all of us. Writing shouldn’t be about hate, anger, or craziness, just interesting ideas, and history to cogitate on, and maybe words that change our opinions of ourselves and others, and our interactions with others.

So maybe I’ve not taken a lot of paths that I should have taken, but I have found peace in this valley of the Foothills, describing daily life lessons in my little blog. My life is peaceful at the moment and I intend to keep it that way. I have a little piece of paradise, even though it’s really cold outside.

Today I hope you reflect on your life lessons and maybe write a few of them down. (There’s still time to take my Valentine’s Day questionnaire and get back to me!)
https://drutieben.com/2025/01/15/valentines-day-questionnaire/

There’s still time to get on board the love train and make your own noise (or journal them) and make your own mark in the world. Love reigns tonight and I praise you efforts!

Coping with Anxiety: My Journey and the 333 Rule

Posted on January 18, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

Whenever my anxiety flares-up I dream some really weird dreams about driving along a treacherous road. (Quite the metaphor, huh?)
-Usually it is along a mountainous path that is very narrow or one-laned. It is not paved and the car coming towards me is always driving fast like a bat out of h*ll.
-Another dream had me driving up the snow-covered rocks on a narrow rock path in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. (It doesn’t exist that I know of!)
-Other times it is a return to my driver’s education test from my early driving years on, you guessed it, dirt roads in my neighborhood in our small southern countryside, or around the courthouse the next town over.

But last night was different. It was a combination of my southern routes with the windy dirt roads, but in the mountains of Colorado. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and took a shortcut. The road was all lumpy, like someone had churned up the dirt with a plow and left it that way. Clods of dirt were piled up and underneath them was soft and sandy dirt. It was hard to get over in my little Subaru Crosstrek, but I was persevering until I came to a rock wall, similar to the Garden of the Gods type of wall. (What an imaginative and weird combination, right?)

I got out of the car and walked around and then looked for a way to get out. Then I walked back down the road and heard singing. When I looked over the ledge, I saw a band setting up and playing with the rock wall against their backs. And I saw my friend Karen sitting there listening to the band. She looked around and said, “What took you so long?” And then I woke up.

My friend is out of town, so she was on my mind. I always worry a little about them because they take amazing trips, but to places that are a little scary sometimes, at least, that’s what I think when she describes them to me. I guess I’m just a worrier at heart.

So, I have been pondering ways to cope with anxiety. I have been writing more, exercising more, meditating, reaching out to friends, and trying to stay in the present moment (mindfulness). I also read about the 333 Rule:
Identify three objects;
Listen for three sounds you hear; and
Move three parts of your body.
The 333 rule helps people focus on the present moment and distract from anxious thoughts. It’s based on mindfulness, which is a way of being aware of the present without judgment.

The 333 rule is a mindfulness technique that can help people feel calmer and more focused when they’re feeling anxious. It can be used anywhere, anytime and doesn’t require any supplies or speaking. Finally, you can repeat it as many times as needed.
For more information go to: Healthline.com
Other strategies can include:
Keep a journal;
Get enough sleep;
Avoid excess caffeine (don’t know if I can do that one);
Challenge negative thoughts;
Forgive yourself; and
Try to put things in perspective

For more information on being anxious, see these articles:
Prevention.com
Goodhousekeeping.com

So remind yourself that it’s okay to stop worrying. Work through why that makes you so anxious if you stop. Take a deep breath and do something fun, like making homemade chicken broth, pouring it over some ramen and vegetables and slurp it up! So delicious and comforting. I love you all and send warm hugs to everyone who has to be out in this weather!

How to Change Apathy and Care for the World

Posted on January 11, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

Apathy is behavior that shows no interest or energy, and shows that someone is unwilling to take action, especially over something important (Cambridge Dictionary).

There is so much happening in the world right now that we have to contend with, and fears of the future outcomes seem to paralyze us in our actions. I am asking each of you out there to reach out and pull someone out of the rabbit hole. Listen for a few minutes to them and help raise their energy levels to new highs. Take a walk with them and discuss things that make each of you happy from day to day. If something they say triggers something in you and makes you angry or believe that all is lost, literally, skip through that thought. Skip this new given path with them and internalize that it’s not them, it’s something from your past. Forgive what can be forgiven and your past hurts will at least float away in that moment. Stretch mentally and physically and stay in that moment with them. Know that thoughts may still surface about something that bothers you but try to let it go when you are with another person. We can survive all the world’s ills if we just reach out to one person each day and make a connection. Smile and laugh with them. Get them to tell you funny stories about their lives. Tell them some fun facts that you just learned!

Apathy has been described as an absence of feeling or emotion. This indifference can affect your motivation and leave you feeling detached from the world. We can’t stop caring about everyday tasks, hobbies, and personal interests. We can’t detach from our loved ones and slide down the rabbit hole. I am asking you to take heart and reach out to others. We can all get some help when we are faced with depressing thoughts. And make an effort to forgive those past hurts and encourage your new buddy to do the same.
https://parade.com/living/forgiveness-phrases-to-use-according-to-a-therapist

We are interdependent of each other in this great big world, and we have to reach across all barriers to create change. While I don’t agree with everything he says, Dr. Michael Laitman, PhD in Philosophy, and a MSc in Medical Bio-Cybernetics, had some insightful thoughts on his website. He stated: “Humanity lives in a single integral system where everybody is globally interdependent. Being interdependent means that every person’s slightest action influences the entire network of humanity and nature. Therefore, caring for the world means caring for myself, since I affect everyone, and everyone affects me….the more our egoistic desires (self-interest at the expense of others) grow, the more imbalance and harm we afflict upon the system….That’s why we need to care for the world.” The integral system can be applied personally, locally, and worldwide. For more information on this interesting and wise person, go to his website:
https://www.michaellaitman.com/about/

And if we have such a beautiful place to be (Colorado), get outside as often as possible. Sometimes it’s really cold, but a few minutes outside will enliven us. “Personal contact with nature, especially at an early age, can strengthen an individual’s emotional affinity to it, facilitating their motivation to adopt pro-nature behaviors,” says ecologist Masashi Soga, the study’s lead author and an associate professor at the University of Tokyo. We learn to care about nature and saving the planet as we walk the path every day. For more information on this subject see:
https://therevelator.org/people-care-planet/

Every day I strive for harmony and ways to calm my overactive brain. This year, I am sending out love to everyone as well as letters to senators and representatives when I have a concern. Handwritten or typed letters get through to these folks, (NOT emails). And if you have questions on what’s happening, you should be able to voice them, not with hate and despair, but with well thought-out and logical questions and concerns. Your voices will create change. You just have to make some noise in a positive and logical way, not in a hatemongering way.

I leave you tonight with two thoughts:
“Likewise, if we successfully organize ourselves to positively connect above our divisive egos, we will experience new elated sensations of harmony and perfection due to our balance with nature.”—Dr. Michael Laitman

And, I want to repeat a quote I had on yesterday’s blog:
“There will always be men who think and dream and sing and carry on all the race has ever loved. The future belongs to them.”—Poul Anderson

We will get through all that is to come in 2025 one day and one person at a time. Our human beingness demands it.

Stephen Wurzel: A Journey Through Zen and Service

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

Or Someone Who Is Calm Before the Storm.

Wow! We made it! I am happy nothing blew up, there were no fires, and we had a wonderful time with each other as we survived the night. The wind is howling outside, but we will persevere! I want to start out the New Year with an interview of a person I met and got to know. This will be a several part series and I hope you enjoy my conversation with him.

I met Stephen Wurzel at the Louisville Senior Center. We had lunch together and he was a delightful person, full of energy, and very entertaining. We formed a bond and now sit at the table on the days he and I come in for lunch.

Stephen helps out at so many places in town, working at Sister Carmen, in Lafayette, as well as handing out burritos to the unhoused and downtrodden folks in Boulder to name a few. He gave a lot of himself to so many people in his lifetime, and he regaled us with stories about some of his past antics and training. I was intrigued by his stories so I asked if I could interview him and he agreed. We picked a date and got together.

Stephen went to college at SUNY (State University of New York) in Albany, NY in the late 1960s and early 1970s. When he was almost finished, he took a Zen Buddhism class which included meditation. The professor was Japanese and was headed back to Japan. Stephen ran across campus and tracked him down. He asked the professor if he could go back with him to Japan to study with a Zen Master, and the professor agreed to take him to his Zen master. He was able to use his student visa and received a full semester of credits while in Japan.

The plane was an old military type plane, and the trip was long and arduous. They finally arrived in Kyoto, and it was winter. The students practiced with bare feet and hands, and it was extremely cold. He found housing with a Japanese family who owned a restaurant. They lived above the restaurant in a sort of a compound. When he first arrived, they had him sleeping on the second floor with all of their dogs. He asked to work at the restaurant, and they obliged. So here was this young, white man in a sea of Japanese, learning how to prepare squid. They taught him how to take the eyeballs out of the squid to make it edible. He wound up becoming a tourist attraction and achieved the local reputation as the “Best Squid Eyeball Popper” ever. He eventually was able to move upstairs to live with the family.

While in Kyoto, he was able to expand his training with many Masters of the arts. He learned calligraphy with one master. He learned how to prepare the tea and participate in tea ceremonies. The Zen master taught him many techniques and they praised him for his abilities. Stephen’s semester was almost over, and his student visa would be up after seven months in this beautiful and serene environment. He went to his master one more time and asked him what he should do next. The master said: “You can do anything you want!” At 20 years old, this was well-received advice, and he flew back to New York feeling that he could indeed do anything.

—More tomorrow.