Tag Archives: reading

Return to the Cycle of 365 Days of Kindness

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So, I didn’t quite meet my goal of writing 365 blog posts over the last year, but I am returning to it all the same, in hopes of continuing the conversation into the new year. Today will be my 212th post since November 2024. I thought writing something every day was a worthy goal, but alas, life gets in the way, and other writing takes precedence. So, in moments of downtime, I would like to attempt this once again.

I have been thinking about the past once again and where we are today. I have a huge notebook full of notes and thoughts on my family and friends that will lead me towards the path of the next book. Many years ago, I thought the first book would be called Different Drummer because, hey, that is the path I took. But there are many, many, worthy books with that title, so I am working on it. I do have some great story ideas and family memories. I also have great stories from others, which I hope to present in my writing as well, in the best possible way.

Researching the past has led me to contemplate my time trekking the hills and valleys throughout my life. I know there were many roads not taken and many more miles to go before I can get a good night’s sleep. (I know, Robert Frost is turning over in his grave!) But I realized I sidestepped pathways that needed to be taken, ones that kept coming back to me over and over, and yet I kept returning to them. Once I faced (most of) those insurmountable hills and valleys, I  moved on to the next phase of my life. I have stopped dreaming about all the ‘what ifs’ (most of them) and made a new dream come true. But that’s the point of life, isn’t it? We face new challenges each day and move on to teach others how to do the same. I am still thinking about the next book title and where I will go. Writing about it always leads the way.

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.”
—Henry David Thoreau

“You and I travel to the beat of a different drum
Oh, can’t you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me.
….You can’t see the forest for the trees
Yes, and I ain’t sayin’ you ain’t pretty
All I’m saying’s I’m not ready for any person
Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me….”
Stone Poneys – Linda Ronstadt version
Songwriter: Michael Nesmith

Thanks to all who support my crazy writing career and read the books I have created so far.

Loving you all and wishing for snow tonight! Stay safe out there! See you at the Rec!

Home for the Holidays

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I have returned to a book I have loved and found more wisdom to share. I am re-reading parts of David Brooks’ book, How to Know a Person, published in 2023. Christmas is here, and communication is the key not only to staying connected to your family but also to staying in touch with the world. His insights about how to actually communicate with people have helped me get through some interesting times. For example:

“I learned something profound along the way. Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 7-8). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And:
“There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others and to yourself [Emphasis mine]. Human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water. No crueler punishment can be devised than not to see someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.” [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 9). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

And finally:
“Many of our big national problems arise from the fraying of our social fabric. If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well.” [Emphasis mine.] [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (p. 12). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

“Big questions interrupt the daily routines people fall into and prompt them to step back and see their life from a distance. Here are some of my favorite questions that do that:
‘What crossroads are you at?’
‘What would you do if you weren’t afraid?’
‘If you died tonight, what would you regret not doing?’
‘If we meet a year from now, what will we be celebrating?’
‘If the next five years are a chapter in your life, what is that chapter about?’
‘Can you be yourself where you are and still fit in?’” [Emphasis mine.]  [Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (pp. 90-91). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]

So to put it mildly, think about open-ended conversations that keep people engaged. Have fun listening to others, only pausing them if they get too wrapped up in their B.S. Ask them to move on without either of you getting angry. Try to find a happy solution to differences, and be at peace with the fact that no one will share your every opinion.

I encourage you to read David Brooks and learn something new. Emanate love to all those surrounding you this holiday season. Keep your fun traditions (Lego Villages and baking cookies!) and shed all those that bring you sadness. Sing joyously with the Christmas CDs (or Spotify! Or wherever you get your music!). Enjoy the baking, the loving moments, and the memories you share with your family and friends.

AND Don’t forget to buy my book, available instantly on Amazon (ebook version). for a terrific present! Thanks to all of you who support my work!

I love you all on this crazy Colorado night. Hoping for no power outages, insane wind, and maybe even a little moisture! Have a terrific holiday season, and if I don’t write until the new year, be at peace with me and my messages, with yourself and others for a little while.

FEELING RETRO

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Today I came across the book Sundog, by Jim Harrison and re-read some of the passages. I had forgotten that I had modelled Wendy Blair-McFreel’s character (from the Caitlin Ferguson mystery series) on Robert Strang. This book’s protagonist particularly struck me as to how she should be portrayed. And, after binge reading all of his books so many years ago, I learned to love his prose, as well as his idea and creation of a novella. I would have loved to have met him and discussed his style.

According to Wikipedia,
“James Harrison (1937-2016) was an American poet, novelist, and essayist. He was a prolific and versatile writer publishing over three dozen books in several genres including poetry, fiction, nonfiction, children’s literature, and memoir. He wrote screenplays, book reviews, literary criticism, and published essays on food, travel, and sport. Harrison indicated that, of all his writing, his poetry meant the most to him. Harrison published 24 novellas during his lifetime and is considered America’s foremost master of that form. His first commercial success  came with the 1979 publication of the trilogy of novellas Legends of the Fall, two of which were made into movies.”

Here are a few Jim Harrison quotes that are timeless. I think they are worth thinking about for today:
“One need only dabble in psychoanalytic literature to see how deeply idiosyncratic we are. Catholics and Tantric Buddhists have been wise enough to accommodate this lushness in human impulse; Protestants must subdue their heretical yearnings. They belong to the cult of self-improvement and hammer at their poor souls as if they were tract houses. The point is we are all quite different, and everyone tells us we’re not [emphasis mine]. There is this inescapable, incredible variety of perception and sensation, the little parcels of experience that add up to a whole not necessarily typified by any sort of symmetric unity, but the urge of life herself.”

“We achieve our dimensions for very specific reasons we ourselves ordain. In other words, we already are, at any given moment, what we, in totality, wish to be…. Scarcely anyone at any given time can locate himself in a meaningful sense.”

“I got this theory… that most people never know more than vaguely where they are, either in time or in the scheme of things. People can’t read contracts or time schedules or identify countries on blank maps. Why should they?”

“Don’t you wonder about these first affinities? I’m sure nearly everyone in the world has had them, with all their frightening intensity, which comes from our vulnerability at that age. We “love” before we know how to protect ourselves, pure and simple.”

“Symmetry is a term better suited to engineering than to people’s lives. By the time you wish to become something, you’re already something else…. I’m aware that everyone sees the world differently….”

So my short and sweet answer for today’s woes comes to this:
Be who you are. Learn to love others and yourself. See the world the way you need to see it. Stop the hate. Stop the madness. I love you all on the ponderous night. Stay safe and keep learning, keep reading, and hold your loved ones close.

Beginnings and Endings and Living Out Loud

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I have been writing my whole life. I first wrote little stories for my family and kept a few tucked away in a file somewhere, fading into obscurity (we wrote in pencil back in the day!) They were silly but I made people laugh—a middle child thing. I wrote papers for college which weren’t always good, but it got me through the classes. Most of them were for English or Psychology classes, not always perfect, or scientifically accurate, but they sufficed to get me As for the classes.

I journalled during my travels, to my adventurous move beyond the 100th meridian. My career in law enforcement allowed me to publish a few papers through the various government agencies, which may or may not lie in a dusty bin or archived on microfiche (remember those?) in the Justice Department. All were in the non-fiction realm about how we were going to save all of the juvenile delinquents! In another paper I published, I talked about how we shouldn’t stomp into all the various Pagan and Wiccan, or indigenous people’s ceremonies and take their stuff, back in the day. Some of the guys even appreciated my advice. Ahhhh, the 80’s….

When I went back to college out west, I finally graduated with a bachelor’s degree and, while still working, began a non-fiction self-help book. It was published on Amazon back 2012. I consider it my thesis and my legacy for my child since I never finished my master’s degree. Most of the advice I provided still holds true to this day, and I still quote sections of the book to others who want to listen. (I know, I know….If you have filled out my 14 Essential Questions and been interviewed by me you understand what I am talking about.)

Then, my life and world got busy. I moved to another city, so I took some time to try on a new set of career clothing—the writer’s cloak for real. It was and still is a tough market to embrace and you have to love the art. It is not about making money (although that would be great!) but a labor of love and having something to say out loud. It took a discipline that I haven’t always adhered to in my early years. My very active brain is sometimes hard to settle down and complete the pages that need to be written every day. (Thus, the emergence of my Blog to write down all of the stray thoughts, to keep true to a story line, Ha Ha Ha….) https://drutieben.com/

In 2012, I started writing fiction, and I am now in the process of finishing up my first fiction series, a three-book series of fictional and mysteries (or mysterious), tales from my life and others I have met and enjoyed knowing over the years. It has been a long time coming (the first book was published in 2013), and it started out as a mystery series based on the various cases I hope that I helped solve, generally those cases that were a bit strange and caught my attention in that real world genre. The third book changes directions slightly, with more of a science fiction twist. It has meaning to the state of the world at this point in my life and how I wish it will turn out in the end times—in hoping for a positive and good ending to those who are different.

I am now ready for my next adventure. As I re-read parts of the first two books, I am happy with my growth. Beginnings are always rough and as you grow into your writing style. If you are like me and have had a change in careers, you hope you have embraced growth in your writing as well as in your life. It is inevitable that we change as we age. Life experiences become life lessons and we see the world differently from when we were young. Sometimes we see too much and focus on the wrong things, forgetting about the good things that happened to us because the bad things are so overwhelming that they take up more space in our brains. I like to think that my experiences gave me a head and vision full of wonder, exploring feelings and magical worlds that are on the fringe of the real world, worlds that we wish could take place in real life.

I still have thoughts of positive endings in both my writing as well as for humankind, dissimilar to those who wrote science fiction in the 50s and 60s. We have messed up a lot of things in this world, but hope is still out there somewhere. Those of us who continued to read science fiction in the 70s and 80s might believe that the dystopian worlds like Orwell’s 1984 exist back then (and right now), but in my world, the 90s brought back a hope of scientific and space exploration, revisiting the greats such as Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson, Jerry Pournelle and Larry Niven, Michael Flynn, and so many others, too many to name in this blog. That’s where I want to focus my efforts.

The 2000s have brought about genres that didn’t exist before, with crossovers into science fiction/fantasy, science fiction/mystery, and many others I’ve yet to explore. It allowed us to drift away into new realms. Even though today we feel like the people who believe in the Ayn Rand bull*#!t have taken over the world (you know who never read it, trust me!) we writers need to band together and send messages of hope and support based on a general caring and science to keep civilization intact, and to keep democracy alive.

Sure, the assassinations in the 60s brought a jerk into office (Hello! Nixon years) and became a blow to our idealistic selves. But as Robert Reich stated in his book: “Hope needs leaders to provide a moral compass. Those leaders don’t need to be vested with official authority…Millions of Americans wanted to believe that these men [Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy] would lead us to a moral high ground, a common good that would transcend the crass, selfish brutality of America…And now that both had been gunned down, there didn’t seem to be anywhere else for that momentum to go. We were thrown into a moral abyss…Humphrey’s loss to Nixon represented the end of the Democrats’ New Deal coalition, and it seemed to be the end of idealism. [Reich, Robert B. Coming Up Short: A Memoir of My America (p. 107-110). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.]
READ THIS BOOK!

And sure, the last year has been a wakeup call and a shock to us about not listening to the other half, so it drove us apart as a people and allowed people become more me-centric. Writers, bloggers, youtubers, and realistically, any citizen of this country must heed our moral and ethical responsibility, to push new generations into thinking about ways to increase the greater good, to bring back respect for the laws of the land and decency and kindness to all human beings. (And law enforcement should take heed: stop the violence on people, and get a spine to become better humans and enforcers of the law of the land, not the law of those rich and powerful!) We should not selfishly support the “It’s all about me, and I don’t want to help anyone else” society. We have to care for each other if we want to continue a peaceful and caring world. Otherwise, chaos will continue to rule our lives.

So I hope these writings have been good for everyone I have reached out to and that we take a moment each day to show concern for what is right in the world, respect each other and center our thoughts on all others, not just ourselves. Every day I live, I try to do my very best to uphold the law and what is right and just in the world. I hope you can say that you do the same.

Keep reading, keep listening, and take a break from your own brain every day. Just be kind to everyone and they will reciprocate. Learn a person’s name and say it back to them when you greet them. Respect those that are different. I love you all and hope you are inside away from the smoke and the heat.

Sound Bites – Make it Happen

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Or: STAND UP and FIGHT for BRAVE REPORTING, AUTHORS with HEART, and HUMANITARIANISM!

For every hateful rant that comes out of the mouth of, ohhhh let’s say …that ignorance is bliss person Representative MTG. (you know who I’m talking about) regarding public television, let’s ask news reporters who are repeating her comments follow-up with fact-checked rebuttals. Let the truth shine through with new sound bites. Let the follow-up become positive and exuberant statements from all supporters who understand the incredible benefits of public television. Tell unbiased news reporters about the heroic lifelines small broadcasting stations have in each of their little towns. Remind them how sometimes public television is the only station that gives news to those in distress after disasters. Tell the world the benefits of positive and encouraging reporting on PBS and NPR that we all want to listen to instead of heartbreaking and ugly reporting on that biased station our illustrious leader loves.

For every idiotic comment on social media that comes out of that guy in office and his Best Buddy (you know who I’m talking about), about important agencies that really matter to us, let’s all start slamming back rebuttals and remind him how wrong he is. Let’s all make positive comebacks to his ridiculous tirade about the benefits of all the things that they dislike… like ohhhh let’s say… the Department of Education, USAid, Social Security and Medicaid,  FAA, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, FEMA, IRS, Dept. of Treasury, National Institute of Health, NOAA, and the Treasury Department, to name a few.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/elon-musks-government-dismantling-fight-stop/story?id=118576033

Let’s remind that Amazon mega billionaire that we support him because we love the convenience of buying and selling online with him. Let’s remind him that he should give some of his money to all of these worthy causes like his ex-wife does. Let’s remind him that he should give of himself freely with no strings attached. Let’s remind him what a massive boycott could do to him like what is happening to the Best Buddy. If we all stand together as a people, we can make positive change.

And give! Give, give, and give a tiny portion of your income, no matter how little you have, to those in need, those representatives and senators who are fighting against this oppression, and those in the media who want to stand up and speak the truth. Create your own movement for generating action for a sane and loving world!

I decided to pick one cause a month and give some of the money back in my part-time job to those in need. This is the money I am making after I have retired. I started in March and so far, I have donated to World Central Kitchen and Rocky Mountain PBS. I plan on doing much more in the days to come. We can all do the same if we don’t eat out at every lunch or have that extra cup of coffee at our favorite drive thru. Every little bit counts right now to keep the momentum to combat what is going on.

And now, I am re-vamping a tradition that I had in the past, to give to others in a way that can create a better community of knowledge and understanding. I used to be the person who gave books as presents every Christmas to my friends and co-workers. I had a large group of associates and friends and I loved the old Chinook Bookstore in Colorado Springs (alas it is no more). It was a place of friendship and warmth. I spent a lot of time there browsing and buying books. I took them home and devoured them, relishing the pure enjoyment of learning something new or reading the next in a series of fantastic fiction. My research took me places that I’ve never been and I hoped to visit someday.

Today, I am aiming to start that back. I recently ordered and gave the book How to Raise a Citizen to a friend who is helping young people learn to survive in the world. He and his high school friend started an after-school program, going back to their neighborhood to help them. They have been given an opportunity to engage the youth in positive ways. They carved out a place for them through the help of the City where they lived. These kids can now have a place where they feel safe, play basketball, have a snack, do homework, and read. These young entrepreneurs are helping create opportunities for the teenagers. They have contacted local businesses and industry to partner with them that will help these kids in the future. They have had backpack and food drives, and will be holding events for education as well as job fairs. It’s programs like these that I want to support. He is on Instagram and it is called Generational Opportunities. We should work to let this happen all over in those little neighborhoods that need the most help. We can all make this happen in our communities.

So when you find a book that moves your heart and soul, give it to someone and encourage them to read it and pass it on. Although I haven’t found the perfect bookstore like the Chinook, I visit the ones in the small towns everywhere I go in my travels. I order a lot of books online, but I want to continue buying and reading interesting books and support these small bookstores. I want to pass them on to co-workers and friends. I encourage you to start your own movement like this. Who knows? Maybe we’ll be able to return to intelligent conversation and kind acts on a daily basis!

******

And to the person who hit my car and drove off today, shame on you! I would have left a note and paid for the damage if I had done this to your car. Karma will catch up with you in the end. I am sad that you are the person that you are. There are too many selfish people like you in the world! Your life circumstances should not be the excuse to do mean and terrible things to others. I will try to forgive you, but it’s hard.

For the rest of you, I love you all and happy reading tonight.

Living the Dream and Feeling Complete

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I started the day with a wonderful visit to the VNA footcare at the Rec Center. They helped me tremendously with trimming nails and checking out what is going on with my poor aching feet! I learned something new and the visit was paid for by my insurance! I encourage you to talk to those lovely nurses employed by the state and working with your local counties. They really fill a need and help us old folks! And prices are very reasonable if your insurance doesn’t cover it. I’m going back in 3 months! Take care of your feet and they will take care of you!

Today was also a day of researching, writing, and planning my finale in the book. The words flowed. I researched old gaming books of my husband’s (Shadowrun rocks!). And I found some excellent books on history, particularly amazing battle scenes. What a wonderful world at your fingertips! It’s finally coming together. Over the hump and excited to finish the storyline. There may be one more, but who knows? It depends on where I’m at after this!

So my swirling brain is getting it all together, but I just want to say one thing to someone I helped downtown this week: She came in with her check to pay her water bill and was complaining about the process. She gave me a check and I entered the information and that was that. While that process still works for now, it will eventually change. Checks are slowly becoming obsolete with Venmo and other apps to pay someone electronically. It’s inevitable that things will change.

So…I told her she could pay it online and I would help her walk through it if she would like me to help her set it up. She got a little snarky and said she didn’t trust computers. She also proudly stated that she didn’t even have a computer! I was sad that elders don’t understand or want to learn a different process. I have been paying online for over 27 years now and I have never had a problem with it. I have never been breached by the system. I was also sad that so many of us my age and older don’t want to be uncomfortable, which is what you feel when you learn new things. I just told her I have a computer, smart phone, and TV and it was easy to do once you learn it! But, alas, she didn’t want to hear my opinion (I have many, don’t you know?)

There are many things that I don’t always understand when it comes to new programs or software, or even the new publishing methods on my computer. I have to read instructions a few times, or go to a different site with a better explanation in order to work on something new. And sometimes I have to ask the family who are smarter than me on these things to help me out. But to dismiss a new way of learning and reading is a bit sad, don’t you think? Besides, the backlighting is terrific for reading! And there are infinite resources, better than the library (and I loved, loved, loved the library when I was young).

So, I urge all of you to expand your horizons and learn new things every day. Read, read, and read some more. Learn something new every day that you are on this planet. That’s how your brain will stay healthy. Enough said.

I love you all and hope you will keep up with your children and grandchildren!

Creating the Story of Your Life

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Today I was thinking about all the people who tell me: “Here is an idea for a book!” or “Here’s a great title for a book!” I smile politely (sometimes through gritted teeth) and say to them: “Thank you, but I have more ideas than I can possibly write about in my lifetime. I encourage you to write about your ideas!” And: “I am looking forward to seeing your book that you’ve written with this title!” Amazing…. So, if you are in the mood to give advice to authors, please think before you speak. The art of creating is not as easy as you think it is, and dedication to finishing any project is a life-long endeavor.

Here are some of my weird beginnings of late. So many ideas for so many tales that haven’t been told. I’d love to hear how your story goes with these beginnings!

  • These contributions to the dangerous and fascinating subject of ….
  • With the door shut…..
  • As a junkie craves a fix, ….
  • Walking around the rooms differ so completely, like growing up in a fairy tale. One room has a southwestern theme, so many Indian prints, and southwestern woven fabrics on the futon. One room has leather couches and Japanese calligraphy. And of course there is the baby’s room with Winnie the Pooh. This house won’t make Decorations Quarterly, but it is very lived in and full of love. (Walking around the house one day when Kiddo was little)….
  • Flies do indeed have internal clocks….
  • It happened one day, almost by accident….
  • In the ways only cats were given….
  • I’d had a series of unfortunate jobs….
  • The walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses….
  • You realize, of course, he’s going to turn 14 someday and rebel against all of your religious patter….

We all have stories to tell and we desire to be heard. Stories don’t have to be tragic or angry diatribes. They can be magical; tales we told our children. They can be mysterious, scientific or science fiction. They can be soulful. They can be beautiful memories that might seem common to the individual. But to the people who read them, they can inspire a new generation of storytellers.

There are only so many days to put it out there in our lifetimes. Wouldn’t it be great if we wrote these beautiful thoughts down every day that we live to pass on for generations?

I love you all on this beautiful day and hope you write about your wonderful dreams of how we should live in the world.