Today, I cleaned out the cabinets, pulled out the pots and pans I needed for the holiday meal preparation, and sorted what I could give away. As I moved stuff around, I found my old worn set of Pyrex bakeware and old cast iron pots. It made me think of my mother and when I went home for my father’s funeral. When my father died, I was sad that my sisters threw away so many things from their kitchenware, especially those incredibly old bread and biscuit pans before I could get home. My Dad did most of the cooking after he retired, but my mother had amazing meals for us when we were young. Both my parents had used the pans lovingly over the years. I didn’t have a say so and the oldest ruled what got thrown away. Both parents have been gone now for over a decade, but this memory still stays with me today. I reflected on why this came back to me today, and I admitted to myself that I would have liked to have been given the choice to have those pans even though they were worn and old. The pans that baked the bread were worn and caked with grease, but all I saw was flavor, not old greasy pan. What my sister didn’t know since she wasn’t a cook was that years of grease buildup gives the flavors of your childhood. What cooks know is that this is a well-seasoned pan, not a dirty pan. When you reuse your pans over and over with your recipes, especially the ones that have been passed down to you from your relatives over the years, you relive good times in your childhood through the smell of your kitchen.

It makes me wonder if my child would do the same when I died or if he would learn to cook all my old recipes with my old pots and pans. In 2016, when he was in fifth grade, he named me Person of the Year for a class project. He wrote about how I was a great cook and talked about all my recipe books (See Blog Post from February 8, 2016):

I am proud that he asked me if he could have my old recipe books. I will gladly give them to him. A lot of the recipes aren’t from my parents, but from magazine clippings, friends, and cookbooks I’ve bought and saved over the years. I have notes on many of the recipes regarding how I have modified them to taste the way I want them to taste. I have experimented with the originals over the years and found what works for me. So of course, I am happy that he will keep some of our traditions alive. I hope I have made lasting footprints that he can pass onto his family. I have hopes for the future where we value the old and worn, be it an old cooking pan or a person. I try and remember that it is the choices I make that will hurt other people.

As you begin to plan for your Thanksgiving feast and pull out all your pots and pans, think about what you have treasured and lovingly used over the years. Think about the pleasure and fun you have given to your family over the years. Designate what you want to save for your children and create a list for them. Even if they don’t value them (or your hand me down life lessons) at an early age, save what you think they’ll value in the future (not in a hoarder kind of way) but in a logical way for giving to the ones you love.

Thousands of Hugs to You and Happy Holidays everyone!