Tag Archives: singing

We Cannot All Be In Charge

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Or: It’s Okay to have Some Ground Rules of Conduct and Etiquette!
I have been pondering this of late because I am involved in a few volunteer groups now. I didn’t volunteer much when I was working full-time and now that I have actually gone back to work (again) part-time, I want to enjoy the experience of my volunteer group. For example, I want to make a difference in my own little way by singing to those in memory care. They seem to enjoy it and it is a good learning experience for me. But sometimes the group is in discord and I don’t like to be there when there is so much drama. So, I have a few things to say about people who cause chaos without them even thinking about it:

Sometimes it’s okay to say what you need to say, but sometimes it’s okay to just sit and listen. If you want to be a leader of the group, I suggest you form your own group. If you don’t want to be the leader, then shut up and listen to the leader. This needs to be stated because some people just don’t get it, no matter how many times others tell them. It is a process to learn how to be a part of a group. And as we age, we forget the rules because we have been making the rules up as we go for a long time.

Having said all that, there should be a handout given when a new person joins the group. It should be a documented set of rules, regulations, or simply a statement of conduct and etiquette regarding how you participate in said group. And everyone should agree to follow said rules and/or statements by signing them, just like we all did in middle and high school.

Group dynamics can make or break a group. We can all get in the flow of things and make a cohesive effort to create something wonderful, or we can stay in our teeny tiny world and sit out. I think it’s easier to cooperate with a group I have joined and help out with the skills I have. I don’t need to belittle others so I feel better. For further information about group dynamics, go to: https://psychology.tips/group-dynamics/

I also trust that the group I join will all be amazing with great leadership in charge. There are many leadership styles, and sometimes I don’t always agree with what is being presented to me at the time, but I try to go with the flow and learn from the experience. There is a great article regarding leadership that I recommend you read:
https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/characteristics-good-leader/

We are all powerful and accomplished individuals. And yet sometimes we just have to listen and meld with the group. Sometimes a leader yells at you because you aren’t listening. I am sure this happened to you many times in the past and you got through it. So I just want to say something out loud in my own way to that new unhappy person in our choir: Just Chill! We are all in this together and just because you want things your way because you’re new and came from another place that did things differently, you are not in charge of what we do. The group doesn’t have to listen to your needs. We listen to our Director. She makes us happy to sing together and that’s what it is all about, SINGING TOGETHER the best way we know, under the guidance of the leader of the pack.

I am in charge of my own life, but life has a way of getting in the way of things no matter how hard I plan ahead and how hard I want things to always go my own way. And, although I refuse to stop leaping into the unknown, and refuse to go quietly into the night when it is my time, I am prepared to join with others make something work and sing the songs of life and love.

I recommend that we all can become part of the pack if we want to participate together in something wonderful. Lightening the load of one person makes it easier. Not everyone can be in charge, but we can all work together to make magic happen and things flow smoothly. We can  make beautiful music as a group. We can each take on a task that helps everyone. Divide up the duties to make it easier on any leader. I just think everyone needs to evaluate a group before they join. And if a group you are in doesn’t work for you, that’s okay, too. You just need to decide to leave and Go Your Own Way! Fleetwood Mac, Go Your Own Way

I love you all tonight and hope you are enjoying the garden as much as I am! Stop a moment and smell the flowers, and get ready for planting season!

Joyful Noise!

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It’s the little things in life that we adore as we get older. These last few weeks have been both joyful and trying. It’s joyful because when we get to do something wonderful for seniors in their residences, especially those in memory care. I love that feeling! And it’s trying, because we start to feel a little older when we see these folks that we identify with when we can’t complete all the tasks that we want to do. Each day we start to worry about slowing down a little more and that we will need more care as we age. Having said this, though I would like to brag about our choir.

Our incredible senior choir comes together every Friday to practice a set of music where we go out and sing to those places that need a little cheer, especially this time of year. We belt out those oldies to bring a little Christmas cheer to those who are in facilities far from their homes and loved ones. We visit when they need us on all the holidays, but the Christmas melodies seem to have a profound impact on them. Those that can stand up and dance along with us during our performances. Those that can’t sing along and remember the times of their childhood. For a little time in our lives, we are appreciated, and they get something in return.

How does music make you remember? Our brains are an amazing thing. Studies have shown that music activates the limbic system, which controls memory and processes emotions. It also activates the hippocampus, which is associated with memory, and the amygdala, which is associated with emotional responses. It increases the blood flow to the brain regions that control emotions and releases dopamine, the natural happy drug! Music is often present during distinctive, emotional, or self-defining life events, which can make those memories easier to recall. Music therapy can be a valuable tool for helping dementia patients recall memories. 

“Deeply encoded music can also unlock flashbulb memories. We remember more vivid details about events in the past when we are exposed to music,” Andrew Budson, Ph.D., told the Washington Post in an article posted on June 13, 2023. He added that research has shown that effect is more common with music than with familiar faces or other stimuli. Budson is a professor of neurology at Boston University, and chief of cognitive and behavioral neurology for the Center for Translational Cognitive Neuroscience at Veterans Affairs Boston Healthcare System.

British neurologist Oliver Sacks (author of Awakenings) once stated: “Music evokes emotion, and emotion can bring with it memory… it brings back the feeling of life when nothing else can.” This quote shows the power of music. Like the aroma of cookies baking, a familiar song can bring us back to another time. In 1973, Robert DeNiro and Robin Williams starred in the movie adaptation, and Penny Marshall directed the movie which was Sacks memoir. It is a fantastic movie, and I encourage you to find it at watch it during the holidays.

For more information on how music can help you and all others you sing to see the following articles:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/music-can-boost-memory-and-mood

https://www.pennmedicine.org/news/news-blog/2019/july/dancin-to-the-music-more-than-just-exercise

I want to shout out a huge thank you to our choir director, Connie Howes, who let me join this happy and talented group. I may sing a little off key sometimes, and sway and wiggle like that funny FB post lady (who is doing her thing in her choir), but I am delighted to be a part of these amazing folks! Happy Happy everyone! Enjoy the bliss during these next few weeks!

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=439359423653199