Remember those days—when we all had differing viewpoints that were welcomed in the conversation? Remember when we could challenge each other and engage in thoughtful discussions, relishing the conversation? Remember when we weren’t so angry, and we continued to listen without interrupting the speaker? When did this change?

I am reading Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben’s new book, “Gone Before Goodbye.”  I am not normally a Harlan Coben fan, but I am intrigued by his writing now that he has collaborated with another author on a promising story. Initially, the protagonist attempts to come to terms with her loss and downfall, reflecting on her past. She spoke of her student days, when they would go out drinking after a particularly hard day, and engage in philosophical discussions at the bar (Remember that?) Nostalgia of those college days and early career days brings back memories of when we knew we were so right about everything. In the book, the protagonist stated: “What do you call a longing for critical thinking and common sense and decency?” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 24). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.]

As we age, some of us become comfortable and even complacent about the world around us. We don’t listen to others without getting offended over some ridiculous idea. We don’t laugh as often. We often become frustrated with the legal system. “…if you think our legal system is about truth or fairness or equality, you’re either not paying attention or delusional.” [Coben, Harlan; Witherspoon, Reese. Gone Before Goodbye (p. 28). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.] This quote resonated with me because I still want to believe in a fair and just process. It’s not always there, but I still want to believe, and I continue to pay attention to what is going on in the government, as well as the daily craziness.

But sometimes people of every age just get that glazed look in their eyes when someone tries to convince them they are right, even though their thoughts and actions are really wrong. Discourse turns into a shouting match, and anger ensues. It’s hard to say you are wrong about something. No wonder we are tired. Current events and life as we know it have worn us down, yet we continue to try to keep going. And sometimes, it is just frustrating when a younger person ignores you because they have had bad experiences in their lives dealing with their senior relatives.

But today I am asking millennials, Gen Zs, and Gen Alphas to not lump all of us seniors with the grandparents and parents of the pandemic, who you still cannot talk to because they were so vengeful and hateful (Please take a moment to listen. We really do have some good things to say and do with the rest of our lives.) Sometimes you just have to forgive your relatives for their behaviors and thoughts and move on. Sometimes, you just have to let it all go, even if it means putting off conversations about serious subjects for now. Love them however you can before it’s too late.

Not all of us seniors are bad people or hateful. We still have our faculties, and are those free thinkers that you think your generation invented. There are so many of us who are still trying. We just don’t want to be ignored or become invisible because you think we don’t know anything, or are those angry seniors they portray on the news to get viewers to watch. I have made a promise to my kiddo and the new generations to always take a moment to listen and take on their causes, continuing to write about it and showing respect for everyone, regardless of who they are or what they represent. I give to worthy causes and love all human beings. I ask you all to do the same. Something to think about.

On this cold and dry night beyond the 100^th meridian, I am thinking of all of you and sending out this message of hope. I love you all.