I have been contemplating how I want to be remembered and who I want to have around me, especially when it’s time to dance off this plane of existence. My writing has always been one of a mixture of fact and fiction and my past frequently shows up in the characters I’ve written about. I don’t always reveal my darkest moments, and I am okay with that. I want to be remembered as one who loves life and appreciates others for who they are. I don’t want to dwell on past realities or relationships that brought me down. I want to celebrate the love I have been given over these last 25+ years. I hope that my family feels the same. I constantly search for what Wallace Stegner called a usable past that I can employ in my characters and reveal a little of myself to strangers. There are so many things that I want my family and friends to remember about me that are positive.
I wish that I had been more of a documentarian like Edward Abbey and kept my journals full. I wrote during my travels, but over the last few years, I became more sedentary and didn’t keep up. I began writing sort of a prequel about my beloved Caitlin, which came from notes over the past 50 or more decades. As I go through the notes, there are so many things that I wished I had fleshed out when I was living them. But that is the beauty of storytelling I suppose. Write what you know, and remember, and the story will follow.
I suppose pictures will have to be good enough for my future generations. As they fade, we are endeavoring to digitize those old Polaroids and other camera photos. But one thing I’d like to share with you is to keep a journal on hand at all times. Document your adventures because places you’ve cherished may not be there when your family travels to them.
I loved the fact that Wallace Stegner had a legacy, to-do list on his desk when he died and it was later published. He reminded me that while I am on this earth, there is still so much work to be done. I have completed many to-do lists and put them on my desktop of my computer, both short and long-term projects. I want to begin to add writing lists to this, for people and places I want to research and learn about.
But who will be there for you through your failing brain, through sickness, through general aging? Decide who is most important and ask them to be there as you will be there for them. Even if you don’t leave a large legacy, be there for the ones you care about the most, a family member, a loving spouse, or a best friend. My spouse is my both my spouse and best friend. I hope that he will be there for me as I will be there for him.
Finally, ever think about what you want to put out there at the end of life? As a writer I think it’s important to create your own obituary ahead of time. Find a picture you love, and save it on a thumb drive somewhere. Put it in an envelope and give it to each other. You’ve lived a wonderful life so why not have your family celebrate it the way you want them to?
So after walking around the house for 10 minutes looking for your glasses so you can finish your epic novel, and after finding them on the top of your head, rejoice in the fact that you are still here. Embrace the knowledge that your loved ones still love you, and that your words may not be read by everyone, but that they have been immortalized in print. Know that you have left a tiny footprint on this earth and those that love you will still remember your impact on their lives, whether good or bad, mad, or sad, cursed, or beloved. Hope for happiness during the life you still have and wish for happiness for you loved ones in the future. Acknowledge (and write it down) that special someone to watch over you. Someone to Watch Over Me
Love to all on this dark and stormy night! Keep enjoying the zucchini! Here is a wonderful recipe I just tried! Very delicious! Stanley Tucci’s Zucchini and Potato Muffins