Author Archives: Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

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About Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I am a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler and trainer. I hold a black belt in Aikido. In the past, I've had to make immediate decisions for people in life-threatening situations. I applied the law, martial arts principles, and life lessons, in a logical and ethical manner, and helped victims gain a sense of organization and control over their lives. I wrote a book entitled Discover the Life You Want to Live which is based on my career and writing experiences. I started this blog to help people solve their own problems and to give recognition to all the entrepreneurs out there who have a community and global view and aren't instant millionaires.

Are We Getting Louder?

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Or: Are We Just Getting More Hearing-Impaired?
Or: Are We Just Creating More Regrets by Ignoring Each Other for Ourselves?

Every time I venture out of my sanctuary world of words and gardens for errands, grocery shopping, the gym, and especially the innumerable Doctor’s appointments, I notice that the world is a little louder than it used to be. Usually, at appointments, I try to sit in a corner away from people so I don’t have to hear the loud phone conversations (crazy discussions that should be done out of earshot of others – can you dig it?),  incessant conversations about religion, about their children or grandchildren, or something even less appealing, such as sniffling (grab a tissue already!), clearing of throats, and other general bodily noises. But alas, as doctor’s offices get busier, there are more people with appointments at the same time as me and I must endure. Usually, I bring my headphones and listen to music, read on my phone, or just put them on to avoid weird conversations. But, alas, I forgot them the other day and it was a nightmare of noise. And no matter what time I get there, I always have to wait at least 15-20 minutes.

And what’s up with people answering questions about things you didn’t even ask about when you walk by them? So annoying. I have to stop mumbling out loud! And then they get mad at you when you talk back to them. So very strange. Ahh, the aging process…. We get unwanted advice about everything, even when we don’t need it and it is delivered in an even louder voice because they think you can’t hear! And has personal space disappeared in this crowded world we live in? I am simply asking  you to just back up a little bit when you are making a point, okay?

Okay so now that I am done with my old lady rant, I’ll move on. Let’s talk a little bit about regrets:
There are times when I want to tune out the world and not go outside. And yet, I continue to venture out unless I become that recluse that I’ve loathed and mocked in the past. There are many roads I’ve not taken. I regret some of the decisions, but I am where I should be for now in hopes of taking new paths every year that I live. There are many times when I wished that I’d act differently to someone, and I would probably apologize to those who I have hurt in the past if given the chance. But with every choice I have made, the positives still outweigh the bad. It is a powerful feeling to recognize this.

Unless we have a time machine, we can’t really change our past. It’s how we cope with the choices we’ve made that makes us who we are. It’s how we overcome our past behavior to become comfortable in our own skin and create a better world. So set your goals and you can control a little of your future. Resist and redirect your obsessive thoughts into something new and innovative.

So the best thing we can do for each other is to quiet down a little and learn to listen and feel what others are feeling around us. (Trust me that is a hard thing to do!) Make time to discuss what you want to discuss with your friends outside of public places such as the doctor’s waiting room! There is plenty of room outside in the sunshine (or shade on hot days) to rant, vent or just be loud to each other. Respect the people around you then go home to your sanctuary and create more fun food with your ever-present zucchini!

Chicken Salad and Zucchini Fritters!

My heart goes out to all of you tonight and hope you are not in those flooding areas east of us!

Celebrate and Change with Me!

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Or: Half-Way Mark for 365 Days of Kindness Blogs
Today marks the 182nd post or the half-way mark of my endeavor to enlighten, entertain, and encourage people to keep on living life to the fullest and doing great things. Although there were a few days and weeks where I skipped posting, negating the promise to write every day, I must humbly admit that that was me being me, promising something that is often a huge grand gesture, yet, like life, is hard to deliver. But I am persevering through all the ups and downs of my life with everyone else, and continuing to do my part the best way I know how. So it may take more than a few days after that original 365-day mark (November 2024), but I hope you keep reading and sending out good vibes, love and happiness after my messages come to you unbidden.

Re-reading The Monkey Wrench Gang once again helps me understand how the cyclical thoughts on progress got us where we are today. We want convenience to get to places where we shouldn’t be going. And the big money corporations and their CEOs want to continue to get richer so they pretend that they are doing things for the public (destroying the western lands, like building roads and dams, drilling, mining, fracking, ad nauseum) making life better for us, more convenient for us, all the while hurting the earth and the environment and all of us who live in it. After all, the ads always paint a rosy picture, right? And of course we should believe those, right?

Seldom Seen Smith was right: “The river, the canyon, the desert world was always changing, from moment to moment, from miracle to miracle, within the firm reality of mother earth. River, rock, sun, blood, hunger, wings, joy—this is the real….All the rest is androgynous theosophy. All the rest is transcendental transvestite transactional scientology or whatever the fad of the day, the vogue of the week.” [Abbey, Edward. The Monkey Wrench Gang (p. 61). RosettaBooks. Kindle Edition.]

We all want the adventures from our past but in a more convenient, easier way. After all, we are getting older and can’t do those hikes like we used to. We embrace those conveniences at the detriment of those beautiful areas. But we also deny how much our climate is changing and what havoc is wreaked upon all of us. Perhaps it is just too big a problem not one for immediate resolution and that breaks us. So many of us ignore what is happening, and yet many of us are stepping up to the task. We know we can’t fix everything, but we are trying to do the best we can in our smaller environments. Every day I am thankful for all of my adventures in my younger years and what I saw. But I am also thankful for the new inventions in gear, such as better equipment, less plastic, and better shoes and backpacks for the young ones to take those adventures. We can’t give up on the new inventions, yet we have to come up with solutions to stop destroying the land for profit.

Monkey wrenching in the oldest of ideologies doesn’t work the way we think it should. Perhaps we should think of new ways to change progress, maybe purchasing lands (including the mineral rights, if possible) to protect them from the marauders. Smarter people than me are making this happen in many states. It is my hope that this way of thinking will be the new tool to protect our children and grandchildren in the future.

So my thoughts for today are these: Keep picking up trash and plastics no matter where you are and recycle, reuse, etc. You know the drill. Stop using plastics in your home. Go electric or maybe hybrid in your vehicles (I know I am in a few years!) Eat less beef (I love it and I know we are in beef country, but come on!) And grow some wonderful food items in your gardens to feed your family and others!) Stop listening to advertisements. If we can start these practices, thinking before doing, and making changes in our lives, the movement will grow and change will happen.

Keep writing your congressmen to stop granting rights to those in big oil and gas, big mining, big, well everything. Ask your congressmen to stop taking money from these corporations in order to stay in office. I know that is a hard one and many people don’t think like me, but that’s the only way we are going to stop it. Support those who support us. I know we won’t change everything, and I know we’ve heard it before, but we can keep the conversation going. At least our tiny piece of the world will be cleaner. Thank you for listening and I look forward to better times!

Love to all tonight.

The World Goes On and the Zucchini Keeps on Giving!

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Being outside and cleaning up my sacred spaces revives me, even with mosquitoes (spray every part of your exposed skin), hot weather, and the gathering storm approaching over the mountains. But as the world goes on and people remain frenzied and a little bit crazy, my sanctuary is where I’ll be for most of the summer, far from the noise spewing forth from the media. Cleanup continues and I look for those plants that I am going to excavate and re-plant in the fall. The front yard bed was the first garden that I experimented with when we first moved here over 27 years ago. Time does seem to fly by us and seems to speed up as we age.

I’ll divide and move my ancient peonies to the back yard where I hope they’ll thrive and bloom once again like they did when I first planted them. I’ll dig up sedums and grasses from that same old bed where the crazy ground cover grows and continues to try and smother them out of existence. I’ll transplant them to the new bed in the front yard where I took out almost 200 square feet of grass and replaced it by planting those wonderful waterwise plants a few years ago (courtesy of Resource Central Boulder and the City of Louisville). I hope they will fill the gaps and thrive and complement my overall aesthetic scheme. And I’ll try (once again) to eradicate that crazy Snow in the Mountain ground cover that took over the whole bed. (Careful what you wish for in a ground cover – one plant exploded and multiplied into places I never intended it to do! It is out of control!) I hope to add another cute cedar tree and maybe a few more roses in those areas next spring after the snowmelt.

I get slower with the cleanup every year, as I dig up more grass and put in new plants. Some make it, some don’t, but it’s the physical act of trying and doing that matters. We try everything to combat aging and when our lives don’t always go in the direction we had originally planned, we persevere. But perhaps that’s the point of living: to find what is our true direction in a world of chaos and mis-direction; to be the person we were supposed to be even if it turns out to be something totally different from our first childhood vision board (or journal in my case). Maybe it’s okay just to be who we are at any given moment in our lifetime. And maybe it’s okay to create beauty in our change of direction, moving like the wind and the water onto the next project without regret for what has happened, anything that has been lost to us, in the past. Sometimes the losses make us grow even more.

Currently, we are trying to thrive in a chaotic atmosphere where storms (both human and environment) create destruction. But, when the clouds move in and the world looks grim, we slowly begin to see the fruits of our labor like the humble zucchini. We are thriving despite all the setbacks, and are brave enough to try and make the best creations from the bounty of our gardens. And if the tomatoes still have spots on them, add a little calcium (I just learned this! Egg shells and/or Tums!) and hopefully you will get the fruit in the end where you can create something tasty and wonderful.

So don’t get discouraged with your life. Make the best of it every day. If the only thing you can do is to give water and a snack to a person standing with a sign on the side of the road, then do it. You may have saved that person’s life for one more day. And that’s a good thing for you to do. (Thanks for that tip goes out to my eye doctor’s nurse!) So, don’t curse and spit into the wind. Don’t spew negative nonsense to others who are just trying to figure it out in their daily existence. Just lend a helping hand when you can and be thankful for where you are at this moment in your life. I love you all so much and send out this message of hope every day that I am alive. Jim Croce Don’t Mess Around with Jim

END OF TRUTH AND REAL NEWS AS WE KNOW IT

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Or: We Can’t Give Up!
So now we are silencing our comedians for making fun of you know who and his ilk who are making a mockery of our government. It’s a sad day for America when large corporations are silencing the last vestiges of sanity and news reporting and giving money to those in power. When is it going to stop? It’s a sad day when we allow these people control our world.

On Colbert’s show Wednesday night (7/16), his monologue was a bit scathing about the parent company selling out because they wanted CBS to be sold to Skydance and you know who’s billionaires didn’t like what they were hearing. They wanted to make a lot of money so they paid the orange one off. Last night, Colbert announced not only were they getting rid of him, but they were also cancelling The Late Night Show for good. The last show will be in May 2026 after 33 years on air. And of course, the owners said it had nothing to do with politics and was purely a financial decision. Really? Do you think the public believes you? There are many articles posted on this subject and it has made me realize that I no longer want to support CBS. As government slowly demolishes our right to know, our right to the truth, I hope we are all thinking about the long-term consequences. Colbert-Late Night Show Cancelled

But that’s not the only thing I wanted to say today. Colbert’s guest on Wednesday was Dr. Francis Collins, former director of NIH (National Institute of Health), an amazing and renown scientist. After the current regime gutted funding and the ability to conduct research, Dr. Collins retired from office. He stated that over 2500 projects were stopped. They were told to shut down any further critical research on Vaccines, Cancer, Alzheimer’s, Covid and even Aids which they were making great strides in creating cures and advances for our health care. Now the science has stopped and we will no longer have those medical miracles at our fingertips.

Dr. Collins also stated that since our brilliant young scientists are being laid off and can’t get jobs here, they are leaving to go to countries where they can, such as Australia, Europe, and China. He stated we will start to see the effects of this brain drain soon. We are allowing this to happen. I don’t blame these young people. They want to learn and discover new cures and aren’t able to do this here. Perhaps if we get a sane and rational person back in office next time, they will come back. But it will take years to catch up to the progress we made in the past. Contrary to popular belief, it takes time to study and research cures.

Finally, Dr. Collins told Colbert that right now two-thirds of the country are what he calls the exhausted middle because of the controversy and outrage Olympics happening in our world right now. He believes that this has happened because of these deficits:

Truth deficit (no penalties for lying)
Trust deficit (we have stopped trusting each other)
Civility deficit (we are just being really mean to each other)
Compassion deficit (he gave an example of the USAID cuts and how people are suffering world-wide; over 90,000 children have died unnecessarily)
He believes that we, the exhausted ones, have to get all of this back. We are the ones who can make change happen.

I know we are all tired, but we can’t give up. We can’t stop believing in each other AND the science (and scientists) behind the advances to create a better world. We must continue to write to our representatives who are supporting this slippery slope slide (say that mouthful out loud!) into fascism. We must ask them to not take money from those billionaires who support this nonsense because these people are not helping to make a better world for all. Those billionaires seek power and want to buy your representatives. Those billionaires are only thinking about themselves and their money. I am starting to worry that censorship will not be far behind these blatant acts of our cancel culture.

So keep up the protests. Don’t give up even though you are exhausted. Don’t give up on learning and loving all people. Check out Dr. Collins’ book: The Road to Wisdom. I ordered it on Kindle today. It is going to be very interesting read.

I love you all, and hope you continue to do good things and support those in need every day you live on this smoke-filled planet!

Who Will Be There for You?

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I have been contemplating how I want to be remembered and who I want to have around me, especially when it’s time to dance off this plane of existence. My writing has always been one of a mixture of fact and fiction and my past frequently shows up in the characters I’ve written about. I don’t always reveal my darkest moments, and I am okay with that. I want to be remembered as one who loves life and appreciates others for who they are. I don’t want to dwell on past realities or relationships that brought me down. I want to celebrate the love I have been given over these last 25+ years. I hope that my family feels the same. I constantly search for what Wallace Stegner called a usable past that I can employ in my characters and reveal a little of myself to strangers. There are so many things that I want my family and friends to remember about me that are positive.

I wish that I had been more of a documentarian like Edward Abbey and kept my journals full. I wrote during my travels, but over the last few years, I became more sedentary and didn’t keep up. I began writing sort of a prequel about my beloved Caitlin, which came from notes over the past 50 or more decades. As I go through the notes, there are so many things that I wished I had fleshed out when I was living them. But that is the beauty of storytelling I suppose. Write what you know, and remember, and the story will follow.

I suppose pictures will have to be good enough for my future generations. As they fade, we are endeavoring to digitize those old Polaroids and other camera photos. But one thing I’d like to share with you is to keep a journal on hand at all times. Document your adventures because places you’ve cherished may not be there when your family travels to them.

I loved the fact that Wallace Stegner had a legacy, to-do list on his desk when he died and it was later published. He reminded me that while I am on this earth, there is still so much work to be done. I have completed many to-do lists and put them on my desktop of my computer, both short and long-term projects. I want to begin to add writing lists to this, for people and places I want to research and learn about.

But who will be there for you through your failing brain, through sickness, through general aging? Decide who is most important and ask them to be there as you will be there for them. Even if you don’t leave a large legacy, be there for the ones you care about the most, a family member, a loving spouse, or a best friend. My spouse is my both my spouse and best friend. I hope that he will be there for me as I will be there for him.

Finally, ever think about what you want to put out there at the end of life? As a writer I think it’s important to create your own obituary ahead of time. Find a picture you love, and save it on a thumb drive somewhere. Put it in an envelope and give it to each other. You’ve lived a wonderful life so why not have your family celebrate it the way you want them to?

So after walking around the house for 10 minutes looking for your glasses so you can finish your epic novel, and after finding them on the top of your head, rejoice in the fact that you are still here. Embrace the knowledge that your loved ones still love you, and that your words may not be read by everyone, but that they have been immortalized in print. Know that you have left a tiny footprint on this earth and those that love you will still remember your impact on their lives, whether good or bad, mad, or sad, cursed, or beloved. Hope for happiness during the life you still have and wish for happiness for you loved ones in the future. Acknowledge (and write it down) that special someone to watch over you. Someone to Watch Over Me

Love to all on this dark and stormy night! Keep enjoying the zucchini! Here is a wonderful recipe I just tried! Very delicious! Stanley Tucci’s Zucchini and Potato Muffins

Hail and Zucchini

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Or: Searching for Authenticity.
A few days ago the dark, black clouds moved in and a huge thunderstorm came over our little neck of the woods. The rain was intense and the hail burst into being, small balls of destruction raging down onto the planet and our fragile plants. Thunder boomed, and lightening lit up the skies. The giant beautiful leaves of the zucchini and squash became ragged as they were shredded. Thankfully, the flowers remained intact so I am now getting an abundance of zucchini. The destruction wreaked havoc on the gardens, and plants already weakened by the heat and weather suffered. For the first time, one of my long-time raised beds looked extremely sad. The rabbits or other creatures dug holes in it and now I have to go and fix it. It has survived all kinds of weather over the last 20 years.

But our weather doesn’t compare to what lightening has caused over the four corners area. Lightening started 4 different fires in Colorado, one of them raging in the Black Canyon, and the one in Utah is now passing over the border into our state. The few but brave firefighters have not contained them as of this writing. But the most devastating news is the fires on both the North and South Rim of the Grand Canyon which was also started by lightening—the loss of a legendary and historic building, the Grand Canyon Lodge, as well as many cabins and other structures in the park. For the first time since my trek down into the depths of the Canyon, I felt a huge hole in my heart. I don’t know if Phantom Ranch is still standing (across the Colorado River and at the base) where I have fond memories of camping there. I also have memories of taking the hottest shower in the Lodge after our 7-day adventure over thirty years ago, and arising from the dead of that rugged hike, peering out of those tall glass windows at beautiful scenery of the Canyon below me. I shared those memories in my Caitlin Ferguson mysteries, and wanted to share them with my family in a few years, taking them back in time to those beautiful vistas. They will never see the amazing sites from my original point of view and I am saddened that these things had to happen before they could see them. I know many people will rally to rebuild, but it won’t be the same. People want comfortable and new, and the authentic charm will be forever lost. Nature has won out once again.

But for this post, I want to dive into what it means to be authentic. According to an article in Psychology today: “Humanistic psychologists would say that by definition, authentic people possess a number of common characteristics that show they are psychologically mature and fully functioning as human beings. They:

  1. Have realistic perceptions of reality.
  2. Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
  3. Are thoughtful.
  4. Have a non-hostile sense of humor.
  5. Are able to express their emotions freely and clearly.
  6. Are open to learning from their mistakes.
  7. Understand their motivations.” Psychology Today-Authentic People

I think it’s important to be your authentic self. Sometimes I have unrealistic perceptions of reality. I feel like I have tried to live a full life, and expect a lot from others. Many people fail at meeting my perceptions, and yet I still have hope of them creating their own fulfillment. I fail repeatedly on Number 4, but I believe that I express my emotions freely, even though sometimes they aren’t clear, just a jumbled mess. I attempt to be open and apologize for my mistakes. I attempt to correct the mistakes and make life better. My motivations are clear about where I want others and me to be in the coming years. I want to continue learning something new and be influenced by the written word. So many books have changed my life, and I treat them like the old connect-the-dots game, creating a visually acceptable endgame. Reading the greats from hundreds of years ago, as well as new literature keeps my perspective growing. I want the freedom and independence to explore new ideas and letting go of ego, creating a world without anthropocentricity.

“I seek only the learning that treats of the knowledge of myself and instructs me how to die well and live well.” ― Michel de Montaigne

So for now, I am cursing and regaling the weather at the same time, and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Whether it is a zucchini bake, or a potato/zucchini muffin, the humble zucchini has given us sustenance in new ways. They help me create an authentic food staple for others to enjoy. And, to paraphrase the Jello commercial: There’s always room for zucchini….

Let us not forget the things that are happening right now to our world, but let us look forward to who we could become, creating a better self  from our past selves, thus, creating something wonderful in the future. Let’s decide what is authentic and cut back on the cynicism, and approach a future with sympathy. Let’s get beyond our hero-worshiping phase because heroes always fall. Let’s overcome what we thought was wonderful and create something better out of the ashes.

I love you all and ask that you create a beautiful world in times of sadness and disaster. Go forth, like the humble zucchini, and multiply your gifts!

The Gathering of Minds around the Campfire

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We search for our primeval selves in the summer: the gatherers, the hunters, and the farmers later in the evolutionary process. In the wild west we attempt to grow things in the heat, drought and horrific storms that destroy crops and shelter. And yet, we build again, knowing that this cycle will repeat itself, getting worse each year that we abuse the land even more than we have in the past. Many of us are trying to create a little sacred, bountiful place where we live. But many more of us don’t know how to start, or don’t want to because it is incredibly hard work. It taxes us beyond measure. We have to learn to persevere and enjoy the perseverance.

In this crowded suburban world, and the Door Dash quick and easy society, it’s hard to imagine us going back to working the land and creating something wonderful with our hands. And yet, some of us try. We feel the inherent need to grow things and watch them provide shade and sustenance. And at the end of the day, we get something cool to drink, sit in our comfy chairs in the shade of the gazebo and admire what we have created. When the air gets brisk, we may even create a small fire in our fire pit and sit outside to wait for the stars to come out. Our little mecca has survived the ravages of weather and time, and we grow to appreciate the skills we have been given to create this in our world.

It is up to us to take a break from our fundamental craziness of society, and explore the philosophies of life. It is up to us to keep the good parts of history alive and reflect on what we have been given. It is up to us to sit around the campfire and think about the state of affairs. Western writers have pondered this: “…How some scientists speculated that gathering around fires was the original unique characteristic of human beings. Not language or metaphor or tool use but the social circle, the gathering around the flame, the place where all those other discoveries were communicated.” “Yup, that’s right. Around the campfire you have a lot of spirit and it comes out in different ways. Kidding each other, serious thought. Singing. Politics, nature, jokes. Everything mixed, like you say. Campfires are a medium of expression all their own.” [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 99). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition].

“Campfires bring back so many memories of our childhood and most of them are good. In times of strife, we tend to go back to these memories to be at peace within ourselves. Campfires have provided warmth, light, fuel for cooking, and a sense of security deeply imbedded in our genes from our ancient ancestors. Campfires can free up conversations and you feel happy and free from the world’s problems for a quick minute.”
https://enjoythewild.com/benefits-of-a-campfire/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-evolutionary-reason-w_n_6171508

So, now that we have had cooperation with the weather, and there is water in the mountains, we can get out, maybe go camping, or create a fire in our backyards. We can spend a night in the open looking at the stars. We can think about the world and what we can do to help it. And maybe we can be at peace for a moment. Reminisce of days gone by and good things to come. Relax for a moment away from the screens. Listen to the world around you in a different way.

But like all things we create (fire) we must be cautious and remember to use the designated areas to create a campfire. We must completely put out the fire! Rake, rake, check, and re-check before you leave the site for any embers. Drown it out and re-rake the embers. We can appreciate nature and protect it at the same time. No more human fire disasters!

Love to all on this hot, dark, and stormy day.

Rule Followers

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Last week, I had eye surgery to try and keep the pressures down in my right eye and it was quite an unnerving activity. The nurse asked me a ton of questions if I had followed the instructions about medications, and other preparatory assignments. I said yes to all of the questions and I told her that I even wrote them down on my calendar which meds to stop taking the week and even day before the procedure, as well as when to stop eating and drinking (water, guys, water). She was amazed that I did all this and told me: “I like that you follow the rules.” And I thought to myself, “Why wouldn’t you follow the rules in order to expect the best outcome?”

As the IV went in and I drifted to a dream-like state, my thoughts wandered. They led me to the drug-induced thought process about rule following, chaos and order. In the end I posed the question to me and now to you:  “Is being a rule follower a good thing?

Henry Adams once stated that “Chaos was the law of nature. Order was the dream of man.” Henry Adams. The Socratic Method

In an online article on The Socratic Method website, the author states that “…order is the dream of man highlights our inherent desire to impose structure upon the natural world, asserting our authority over the wild and unruly elements of existence.” The article notes that order is a human construct. Each of us desires order but the order we know is limited by our understanding of the world. Thus our sense of order is subjective, and needless to say, different from the next person. And that person may think us chaotic. Our culture defines who we are and what we think is right.

Order and chaos aren’t necessarily opposing forces, but are interconnected and shape our world. If different voices chime in and each gives their perspective, randomness of chaos may eventually bring about order or a pattern. Each novel idea becomes codified by the masses, and organization or order ensues out of chaos. Rules are made and most people attempt to follow them.

“Henry Adams’ thought-provoking quote encapsulates the eternal struggle between chaos and order. While chaos may be the inherent law of nature, order remains the dream of man. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that chaos and order are not opposing forces but intertwined elements within the tapestry of existence. Chaos brings forth creativity, innovation, and the boundless possibilities of life. Order, on the other hand, satisfies our need for structure and predictability in an unpredictable world. It is in the delicate balance between these two concepts that we find the tapestry of life’s beauty, where chaos and order coexist in a harmonious dance, forever shaping our experiences and understanding of the world.” The Socratic Method

Chaos is inevitable in our lives and we can’t always keep it from happening. We follow the rules and sh*! happens. And yet we persevere and attempt to follow the rules of society the best we know how. However, having reflected on this topic, I have one more subject to broach:

The books I have been reading of late are a wakeup call for what is happening on our planet and the people who live on it – the fires, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, and other violent weather. It is a frightening thing to know our children and ensuing grandchildren will suffer the consequences from our actions. We can’t fix everything, everywhere all at once, and it will take many more generations to solve the devastating actions of this current administration. But we can leave the people alone who are trying to study, understand, and predict things that will harm us. We need people who can jump in during disasters and help out and study the problem in the aftermath. [No more cuts!] So, yeah we can passively listen to that idiot in office blame the democrats – but HEY! you idiots in charge – you are the ones cutting all those folks who keep us safe. It’s a sad day when we don’t understand we need people who understand science. We need people to warn us about climate and ensuing weather caused by the warming of the planet. And, yes, we need services to help those who need help. (Thank you Mexico!) Chaos will ensue on innocent people and they will die when you have uneducated people in charge before order is restored. All I am asking is for everyone to think about what is happening in this chaos and take action to create harmony. People who work in supportive government agencies aren’t the bad people. People currently in the high office are the ones who should be accountable for all of government’s failings. We need to think about our future before deciding that all of this is okay. Enough said.

And here’s a big shout out to the Monarch High School young men who cleaned my trash bins today! Excellent work and your prices were reasonable. Entrepreneurship in Action! I am recommending you to my fans! If you want to book a cleaning go to their website: https://www.boulderbinscleaning.com/

I love you all and thank you for standing up and helping your neighbors. Keep spreading the love!

Boundaries of the Self

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On this eve eve of our country’s birth, I am pondering where we are. I am pondering the terms of what our sense of self has become. Have our representatives lost their minds or are they just becoming what they always were, mindless drones to an oligarch who doesn’t care about representing all of the people all of the time? Are they so isolated to the realities of the world because they never explored beyond their sheltered life of luxury? Or do they simply not care anymore now that they’ve gotten their more than fair share of the wealth. Have their lives been so protected that they haven’t seen the suffering they are now causing to others who didn’t grow up in the world of prestige and protection? Where has their dignity and justice gone? Why is money more important than the lives of those less fortunate?

I grew up with poverty always knocking at our door. We didn’t want to admit that, but we struggled as kids. And yet, my family always did the right thing and gave as much as we could to others who were less fortunate than us. We didn’t think of ourselves as poor people. What little we had we shared with others in our same situation and they did the same. We didn’t have luxuries and it was uncomfortable to be around those who had more even though we all tried to fit in, especially when they were mean and horrible to those less fortunate. Our sense of self grew as a result of this idea that we could do better if we all worked together, both rich and poor alike. Our parents taught us to do better and go beyond our humble means. They taught us to reach out and become ambitious doers, people of action, but not necessarily craving to be noticed. But if we were noticed, make sure it was for actions that led to saving the planet, saving a community, saving the people, and saving our relationships with each other.

David Gessner asked of us: “Do any of us ever get beyond the boundaries of the selves we start with? Can we really make ourselves into more than we are? Or do we always bump against the borders of self and snap back to the default settings that we were programmed for in the first place?” [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 157). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.]

Gessner also quoted Wallace Stegner about this subject: “In Crossing to Safety, the Stegnerian narrator writes that ‘When I hear the contemporary disparagement of ambition and the work ethic, I bristle.’ But: ‘Unconsidered, merely indulged, ambition becomes a vice; it can turn a man into a machine that knows nothing but how to run. Considered, it can be something else—pathway to the stars, maybe.’ Ambition can lead to the stars, or at least to that greater broadening, to magnanimity, to largeness. But it still has its more primitive roots in the craving to be noticed, to be known, to have one’s name recognized.” [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 147). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.]

Finally, Gessner stated about this subject: “Neither Stegner nor Abbey were immune from the hunger for renown. Both wanted their work to be remembered. They would not, it seems to me, have frowned at the notion of my writing this book so many years after their deaths. It is oblivion, of course, that we make our names against. Nothingness that spurs us to be something. And what is worse than being ignored? To a proud person, it is as if our existence is not acknowledged. We are nobody.” [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 152). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.]

So as we go into the 250th birthday of our country, let’s agree to do something good during this time of injustice. Let’s agree to get out of our comfortable existence and write people who may have more money than us and can fight these old cronies to make a difference. Let’s agree to donate to good causes and continue to fight the good fight against those who simply don’t care. Let’s bump, and even break out of our barriers of the self, and create something beautiful before we die. This weekend, I am giving to the Emergency Family Assistance Association (EFAA) out of Boulder, Colorado. They are working tirelessly to have local support for nutritious food for families in need. With cutbacks to Medicaid and SNAP, our support helps them make their goals. And The Leffingwell Foundation is matching any amount of your donations to EFAA, up to $100,00.00. How awesome is that? https://www.efaa.org/donate/funds/

Give what you can and help out the folks in our community.

And don’t forget to give to your local PBS and NPR! I just signed up for Rocky Mountain PBS passport and am loving the programs on their app! $60 a year gets great entertainment and you don’t have to pay those bigger companies! I am turning into more of a geek than I am now with learning about the past. I am loving the period detective shows!

So give whatever you can, and love the ones who are around you. I love you all and celebrate the good things about our country this weekend, continue to fight against those strange black clad secret police, and attempt to shut out the violence for a little longer by caring for everyone.

I CAN

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I recently re-visited my son’s elementary “I Can” can and reminisced on how easy it was to remember what his thoughts were about accomplishments he made at that early an age. They seem so tiny compared to today’s standards, and yet they helped him become the person he is today. Back then, he had the world at his fingertips and nothing seemed impossible. I truly believed then he would do amazing things as an adult. Today, he is getting there, fully adulting, and owning his life. I hope all of the children from his classes will achieve greatness as well and strive for a better society.

As the storm rages outside, I have been furiously writing today to get to the end of this trilogy. I wanted to share Caitlin’s musings about life and her can do attitude. Here is an excerpt from Book III of the Caitlin Ferguson mysteries I am currently writing:
“Joseph Campbell spoke of a Heroes Journey in his work, Power of the Myth. His words affected those who were fighting against the government at the time when she [Caitlin] was away. She was glad she missed all that drama. Heroes went on adventures in search of truth, and those that stayed behind understood the costs of leaving. People stayed put because they felt safe. She reflected on how much her family lost because they feared her disappearance and perhaps even her death. But the journey allowed her to relinquish her past version of herself.”

“She spoke out in the past, but now was the time for action. Words cannot solve what is to come. No one was shirking away or hiding from this. She would be there for this future generation even though there would always be events beyond her control. In a way, this finality liberated her. Yes, people have died, but she could help those who lived – create their future. If she lived through this last earthly battle, she could stay here and create a better society for the children.”

“Nope. Her time to die was not now, in this moment. She had to keep her strength for her daughter, granddaughter and grandson, and the rest of the children. Their generation would change the world. If her travels taught her anything, it was all about the sharing of wisdom from the old ones. They taught her patience and consistency. They taught her how to look for patterns from the simplest of actions (e.g., follow the money) to the larger over-arching picture through their stories of what this world, and the people who lived here, would become and how it could be saved.”

Caitlin will go towards the gathering storm and wage the war that needs waging and help her family and friends survive. I continue to strive to become her, working hard to always do the right thing.

Can we say that about ourselves? Can we all have that I can attitude and make the changes in our lives and others to create a better society? Go forward from this day with kind hearts and active minds. Go forward and strive for good things. Be kind to everyone you meet every day. Give your hearts and minds to create a better world.

I truly love you all this stormy night and send out good vibrations and hugs!