Author Archives: Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

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About Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I am a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler and trainer. I hold a black belt in Aikido. In the past, I've had to make immediate decisions for people in life-threatening situations. I applied the law, martial arts principles, and life lessons, in a logical and ethical manner, and helped victims gain a sense of organization and control over their lives. I wrote a book entitled Discover the Life You Want to Live which is based on my career and writing experiences. I started this blog to help people solve their own problems and to give recognition to all the entrepreneurs out there who have a community and global view and aren't instant millionaires.

Ultimately It Is How You Perceive Yourself That Will Solve the Problem

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On this day of whirlwind writing, doing, exercising and going full force, I re-visited this quote from one of my characters that got me pondering life’s mysteries. I want to keep on pursuing truth to the best of my abilities and help others when I can. When I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I just see an old lady, with old lady skin. Other times, I see a person who has lived a wonderful life, solving problems when I can and helping out as much as I can. I want to others to experience what I have experienced. I keep on pushing people to see that we must continue to do the monkey wrenching from days of old, but in a more subtle way. We don’t want to get disappeared by those masked secret police (you know who I’m talking about). We must do it in the daytime, with our voices, and our written word. We must continue to make people care about each other and not hoard our wealth. (Are you listening billionaires?) We cannot be complacent! Complacency is the new evil of humankind. If we just wish it to go away, it won’t happen. We have to do and do and do. If we create some chaos, we will be become uncomfortable, but we must continue to increase that uncomfortableness and strive on. I hope you all are listening. Give those a push, those who need to get out of a rut. Give to those who are trying to do better. Give to yourselves for caring.

  • “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”—Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “The tragedy of life is not found in failure but complacency. Not in you doing too much, but doing too little. Not in you living above your means, but below your capacity. It’s not failure but aiming too low, that is life’s greatest tragedy.”—Benjamin E. Mays
  • “It takes courage to speak up against complacency and injustice while others remain silent. But that’s what leadership is.”—Rosabeth Moss Kanter

I reach out when I can and give an abundance of zucchini to others. I make wonderful meals with my bounty and share it with my family. It’s been a good life and I hope I live to 100! I will fight the good fight as long as I live. I hope you are doing the same. I love you all on this cloudy, smokey night.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

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How many of us are moving forward even in this bad news crazed world? How many of us are trying to rectify injustices that keep on happening? How many of us are just about ready to give up? Well, today I’m going to urge you to just keep moving forward, and do the best you can every day that you live. Don’t let your brain rest one bit. If you rest, you die. If a bear or mountain lion is chasing you in the woods (or out in the world such as your back yard – really happened to me), stand up and fight! Stand up and shout them out of your domestic domain! No more zoning out until you die! Blissful moments will come when we finish the fight!

Stand up and make a statement about civility, fairness, equity and inclusion, and loving one another! Stand up for people who just want the same things your family wanted when you came to this country. Fight for them as well as all of the scientific community who are trying to tell you about changes in our environment if we don’t stop those who are destroying it for us. Just keep moving forward no matter what. I know it’s not easy, but if you trust my words and make your own movement count, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We only move toward that end of the tunnel when we die! Even if we just don’t get there when we expect to, we must stop wasting time on silliness and retribution. We must keep striving for an end to the madness so we can go into the next plane of existence in peace.

Find that one beautiful and meaningful thing you can do every day that you live that will make a difference for future generations. It can be as simple as using less plastic, composting, or recycling. (HELLO! Wake up restaurants! Make it happen!) It can be planting a backyard garden or feeding others with the fruits of you labor when you have extras. Or it can be big such as all the protests we’ve seen of late. Anything is better than ignoring those in power who hurt the little guys in the end.

“If you do not have an absolutely clear vision of something, where you can follow the light to the end of the tunnel, then it doesn’t matter whether you’re bold or cowardly, or whether you’re stupid or intelligent. Doesn’t get you anywhere.”—Werner Herzog
“Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.”—Charles Barkley (Good ole’Charles….)

So don’t wait for that train to run you over. Keep on living, keep on doing what’s right. Love the one you love, but love everyone and everything else equally. Enough said. I’m going to make more delicious zucchini recipes to be at peace for the evening.
Zucchini Boats!

I love you all tonight and hope for peace in the valley (and the mountains!) for everyone.
Jim Reeves Peace in the Valley

Do Birds Have a Cerebrum?

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I have been re-reading The Monkey Wrench Gang and one scene got me thinking. During their monkey wrenching, Bonnie is on lookout while Hayduke is destroying equipment that are clear cutting pine trees (not native) in the middle of the Kaibab forest. She drifted and started reflecting on the universe, and the birds quieting down for the night. “She…listened to the cries of birds, unknown and unseen birds, off in the forest, retreating to their nests for the night, heads nestled under fold of wing, retiring into the simple harmless dreams of avian sleep. (A bird has no cerebrum.)” [Abbey, Edward. The Monkey Wrench Gang (p. 238). RosettaBooks. Kindle Edition.]

Which lead me down the deep dark conundrum of a path. If humans are so smart and have a large cerebrum, why do they destroy everything that keeps them alive? Is it so simple that it is just about the money? The rich getting richer? I keep coming back to the air quality of late. A lot of it is due to the fires, but the brown cloud that we see in our big city and now the Foothills is disheartening. People used to come out here for health reasons (as well as New Mexico and Arizona) and now it only aggravates their poor lungs. I know when I first came out here the air was much more pure than Atlanta back in the coal-burning power plant and factory days. (Yes, I am that old!) According to a recent report: “Nearly half of the country lives in areas that received a failing grade for either particle pollution – fine particulate matter created when things burn – or ozone pollution, according to the report. Almost 43 million live in places that failed both pollution measures….The study comes as the new administration of President Donald Trump’s administration cuts jobs at the Environmental Protection Agency and sidesteps regulations on oil, gas and coal development.” USA Today Air Quality Report

And do any of us really have simple harmless dreams? Lately, I have had many anxiety dreams. The most recent one was that I am trying to check out at the old S. H. Kress Five and Dime in Athens, Georgia, in a line that goes all the way back to the toy aisle (where we spent a lot of time when we were children). People keep pushing in front of me and I never get to the checkout. And of course, I wake up in a sweat! And what does that dream have to do with my current state of mind? (I think this was because I was at Costco and there were a bazillion people there yesterday!)

So this week has been a whirlwind of weirdness, trying to come to grips with doctor’s appointments, completing things, fighting the heat, weeds, and rain, and generally feeling like I need to go out and hit something! (Take up boxing perhaps?) But, alas, it will get better as my eye heals and I can get back to exercising in the pool! My mecca, my peaceful time, my cooling off period. I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend. Do something wonderful out there! I love you all and hope you are well.

And by the way, I looked it up. Birds do have cerebrums. Funny.

Making Up for Lost Time

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Why do we think we always have to make up for lost time? Is time really lost? Are those tasks that we didn’t do in the past causing us to vigorously complete them now? Why is it so hard for us to focus on the present? Why are we compensating for our past? Is frantically pushing forward for the wrong cause the right thing to do? How do we get rid of the thorn in our side that won’t go away or in my case, a thistle in my finger?

Do we want to die forever seeking something from our past, or do we want to move forward freely and become a part of something bigger and better? When I was a younger, fit woman, I listened to cassette tapes with my favorite workout specialists such as Jane Fonda, Kathy Smith, or even Heather Locklear. (Whoa! Talk about the 80’s!) There were many walking tapes and I strode happily into the distance with these women, one step at a time. They inspired me and even talked about taking things One Step At A Time or Moving Freely Forward. I was always seeking a faster pace, better results from workouts, generally always looking for something leaner, better, more, more, more! What I failed to realize is that our bodies aren’t built to keep up that pace. We can never get back that twenty-something body. It is just not the way humans are built. The faster we go, the slower we gain results. So, I realized I could take that mentality and slow down just a little bit to enjoy where I am at any time in my aging self and let life evolve. After injury, or surgery or just life’s disasters, I keep part of that younger mentality, but get right back up and try something different that will work better at my age.

All the pills and ads in the world about weight loss aren’t healthy and obsessing of what we woulda, shoulda, coulda leads us down a path that is depressing. I keep trying for perfection, and yet I can also be happy where I am at this point in my life. I’m not giving up, just slowing down a little and I am learning to live with that. Every day is a journey to stay alive in this world of crazy. If I can focus on putting that one foot forward, I can focus on being the person I want to be at any given point in time. I can be happy with my accomplishments and future that is wide open. Can you say the same thing?

Here are a few great quotes to ponder on where you are at this very point in your life.

  • “You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.”–Elizabeth Taylor
  • “If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the torches in the woods, keep going. If there’s shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.”–Harriet Tubman
  • “You were not made for failure; you were made for victory. Go forward with a joyful confidence.”–George Eliot
  • “Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”–Rainer Maria Rilke
  • “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”–Amy Anderson
    Quotes from: https://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/moving-forward-quotes/

So when the world goes to H#!! and everything dies, there will still be roaches, mosquitoes and thistle. All of our concerted efforts are for nought if we keep rushing by. So let’s just focus on what we can do for the rest of our years and slow down a little. We will never make up for our lost time, so just be in the moment every moment every day of your lives. And, yes, my metaphor (or punishment) for my lost time will be digging up that ever-present, blasted thistle in my flower beds! (Why is it sooooo resilient?) Arrrggh.

I love you all and hope you are thinking good thoughts and making magic happen for all those folks who need you!

Are We Getting Louder?

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Or: Are We Just Getting More Hearing-Impaired?
Or: Are We Just Creating More Regrets by Ignoring Each Other for Ourselves?

Every time I venture out of my sanctuary world of words and gardens for errands, grocery shopping, the gym, and especially the innumerable Doctor’s appointments, I notice that the world is a little louder than it used to be. Usually, at appointments, I try to sit in a corner away from people so I don’t have to hear the loud phone conversations (crazy discussions that should be done out of earshot of others – can you dig it?),  incessant conversations about religion, about their children or grandchildren, or something even less appealing, such as sniffling (grab a tissue already!), clearing of throats, and other general bodily noises. But alas, as doctor’s offices get busier, there are more people with appointments at the same time as me and I must endure. Usually, I bring my headphones and listen to music, read on my phone, or just put them on to avoid weird conversations. But, alas, I forgot them the other day and it was a nightmare of noise. And no matter what time I get there, I always have to wait at least 15-20 minutes.

And what’s up with people answering questions about things you didn’t even ask about when you walk by them? So annoying. I have to stop mumbling out loud! And then they get mad at you when you talk back to them. So very strange. Ahh, the aging process…. We get unwanted advice about everything, even when we don’t need it and it is delivered in an even louder voice because they think you can’t hear! And has personal space disappeared in this crowded world we live in? I am simply asking  you to just back up a little bit when you are making a point, okay?

Okay so now that I am done with my old lady rant, I’ll move on. Let’s talk a little bit about regrets:
There are times when I want to tune out the world and not go outside. And yet, I continue to venture out unless I become that recluse that I’ve loathed and mocked in the past. There are many roads I’ve not taken. I regret some of the decisions, but I am where I should be for now in hopes of taking new paths every year that I live. There are many times when I wished that I’d act differently to someone, and I would probably apologize to those who I have hurt in the past if given the chance. But with every choice I have made, the positives still outweigh the bad. It is a powerful feeling to recognize this.

Unless we have a time machine, we can’t really change our past. It’s how we cope with the choices we’ve made that makes us who we are. It’s how we overcome our past behavior to become comfortable in our own skin and create a better world. So set your goals and you can control a little of your future. Resist and redirect your obsessive thoughts into something new and innovative.

So the best thing we can do for each other is to quiet down a little and learn to listen and feel what others are feeling around us. (Trust me that is a hard thing to do!) Make time to discuss what you want to discuss with your friends outside of public places such as the doctor’s waiting room! There is plenty of room outside in the sunshine (or shade on hot days) to rant, vent or just be loud to each other. Respect the people around you then go home to your sanctuary and create more fun food with your ever-present zucchini!

Chicken Salad and Zucchini Fritters!

My heart goes out to all of you tonight and hope you are not in those flooding areas east of us!

Celebrate and Change with Me!

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Or: Half-Way Mark for 365 Days of Kindness Blogs
Today marks the 182nd post or the half-way mark of my endeavor to enlighten, entertain, and encourage people to keep on living life to the fullest and doing great things. Although there were a few days and weeks where I skipped posting, negating the promise to write every day, I must humbly admit that that was me being me, promising something that is often a huge grand gesture, yet, like life, is hard to deliver. But I am persevering through all the ups and downs of my life with everyone else, and continuing to do my part the best way I know how. So it may take more than a few days after that original 365-day mark (November 2024), but I hope you keep reading and sending out good vibes, love and happiness after my messages come to you unbidden.

Re-reading The Monkey Wrench Gang once again helps me understand how the cyclical thoughts on progress got us where we are today. We want convenience to get to places where we shouldn’t be going. And the big money corporations and their CEOs want to continue to get richer so they pretend that they are doing things for the public (destroying the western lands, like building roads and dams, drilling, mining, fracking, ad nauseum) making life better for us, more convenient for us, all the while hurting the earth and the environment and all of us who live in it. After all, the ads always paint a rosy picture, right? And of course we should believe those, right?

Seldom Seen Smith was right: “The river, the canyon, the desert world was always changing, from moment to moment, from miracle to miracle, within the firm reality of mother earth. River, rock, sun, blood, hunger, wings, joy—this is the real….All the rest is androgynous theosophy. All the rest is transcendental transvestite transactional scientology or whatever the fad of the day, the vogue of the week.” [Abbey, Edward. The Monkey Wrench Gang (p. 61). RosettaBooks. Kindle Edition.]

We all want the adventures from our past but in a more convenient, easier way. After all, we are getting older and can’t do those hikes like we used to. We embrace those conveniences at the detriment of those beautiful areas. But we also deny how much our climate is changing and what havoc is wreaked upon all of us. Perhaps it is just too big a problem not one for immediate resolution and that breaks us. So many of us ignore what is happening, and yet many of us are stepping up to the task. We know we can’t fix everything, but we are trying to do the best we can in our smaller environments. Every day I am thankful for all of my adventures in my younger years and what I saw. But I am also thankful for the new inventions in gear, such as better equipment, less plastic, and better shoes and backpacks for the young ones to take those adventures. We can’t give up on the new inventions, yet we have to come up with solutions to stop destroying the land for profit.

Monkey wrenching in the oldest of ideologies doesn’t work the way we think it should. Perhaps we should think of new ways to change progress, maybe purchasing lands (including the mineral rights, if possible) to protect them from the marauders. Smarter people than me are making this happen in many states. It is my hope that this way of thinking will be the new tool to protect our children and grandchildren in the future.

So my thoughts for today are these: Keep picking up trash and plastics no matter where you are and recycle, reuse, etc. You know the drill. Stop using plastics in your home. Go electric or maybe hybrid in your vehicles (I know I am in a few years!) Eat less beef (I love it and I know we are in beef country, but come on!) And grow some wonderful food items in your gardens to feed your family and others!) Stop listening to advertisements. If we can start these practices, thinking before doing, and making changes in our lives, the movement will grow and change will happen.

Keep writing your congressmen to stop granting rights to those in big oil and gas, big mining, big, well everything. Ask your congressmen to stop taking money from these corporations in order to stay in office. I know that is a hard one and many people don’t think like me, but that’s the only way we are going to stop it. Support those who support us. I know we won’t change everything, and I know we’ve heard it before, but we can keep the conversation going. At least our tiny piece of the world will be cleaner. Thank you for listening and I look forward to better times!

Love to all tonight.

The World Goes On and the Zucchini Keeps on Giving!

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Being outside and cleaning up my sacred spaces revives me, even with mosquitoes (spray every part of your exposed skin), hot weather, and the gathering storm approaching over the mountains. But as the world goes on and people remain frenzied and a little bit crazy, my sanctuary is where I’ll be for most of the summer, far from the noise spewing forth from the media. Cleanup continues and I look for those plants that I am going to excavate and re-plant in the fall. The front yard bed was the first garden that I experimented with when we first moved here over 27 years ago. Time does seem to fly by us and seems to speed up as we age.

I’ll divide and move my ancient peonies to the back yard where I hope they’ll thrive and bloom once again like they did when I first planted them. I’ll dig up sedums and grasses from that same old bed where the crazy ground cover grows and continues to try and smother them out of existence. I’ll transplant them to the new bed in the front yard where I took out almost 200 square feet of grass and replaced it by planting those wonderful waterwise plants a few years ago (courtesy of Resource Central Boulder and the City of Louisville). I hope they will fill the gaps and thrive and complement my overall aesthetic scheme. And I’ll try (once again) to eradicate that crazy Snow in the Mountain ground cover that took over the whole bed. (Careful what you wish for in a ground cover – one plant exploded and multiplied into places I never intended it to do! It is out of control!) I hope to add another cute cedar tree and maybe a few more roses in those areas next spring after the snowmelt.

I get slower with the cleanup every year, as I dig up more grass and put in new plants. Some make it, some don’t, but it’s the physical act of trying and doing that matters. We try everything to combat aging and when our lives don’t always go in the direction we had originally planned, we persevere. But perhaps that’s the point of living: to find what is our true direction in a world of chaos and mis-direction; to be the person we were supposed to be even if it turns out to be something totally different from our first childhood vision board (or journal in my case). Maybe it’s okay just to be who we are at any given moment in our lifetime. And maybe it’s okay to create beauty in our change of direction, moving like the wind and the water onto the next project without regret for what has happened, anything that has been lost to us, in the past. Sometimes the losses make us grow even more.

Currently, we are trying to thrive in a chaotic atmosphere where storms (both human and environment) create destruction. But, when the clouds move in and the world looks grim, we slowly begin to see the fruits of our labor like the humble zucchini. We are thriving despite all the setbacks, and are brave enough to try and make the best creations from the bounty of our gardens. And if the tomatoes still have spots on them, add a little calcium (I just learned this! Egg shells and/or Tums!) and hopefully you will get the fruit in the end where you can create something tasty and wonderful.

So don’t get discouraged with your life. Make the best of it every day. If the only thing you can do is to give water and a snack to a person standing with a sign on the side of the road, then do it. You may have saved that person’s life for one more day. And that’s a good thing for you to do. (Thanks for that tip goes out to my eye doctor’s nurse!) So, don’t curse and spit into the wind. Don’t spew negative nonsense to others who are just trying to figure it out in their daily existence. Just lend a helping hand when you can and be thankful for where you are at this moment in your life. I love you all so much and send out this message of hope every day that I am alive. Jim Croce Don’t Mess Around with Jim

END OF TRUTH AND REAL NEWS AS WE KNOW IT

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Or: We Can’t Give Up!
So now we are silencing our comedians for making fun of you know who and his ilk who are making a mockery of our government. It’s a sad day for America when large corporations are silencing the last vestiges of sanity and news reporting and giving money to those in power. When is it going to stop? It’s a sad day when we allow these people control our world.

On Colbert’s show Wednesday night (7/16), his monologue was a bit scathing about the parent company selling out because they wanted CBS to be sold to Skydance and you know who’s billionaires didn’t like what they were hearing. They wanted to make a lot of money so they paid the orange one off. Last night, Colbert announced not only were they getting rid of him, but they were also cancelling The Late Night Show for good. The last show will be in May 2026 after 33 years on air. And of course, the owners said it had nothing to do with politics and was purely a financial decision. Really? Do you think the public believes you? There are many articles posted on this subject and it has made me realize that I no longer want to support CBS. As government slowly demolishes our right to know, our right to the truth, I hope we are all thinking about the long-term consequences. Colbert-Late Night Show Cancelled

But that’s not the only thing I wanted to say today. Colbert’s guest on Wednesday was Dr. Francis Collins, former director of NIH (National Institute of Health), an amazing and renown scientist. After the current regime gutted funding and the ability to conduct research, Dr. Collins retired from office. He stated that over 2500 projects were stopped. They were told to shut down any further critical research on Vaccines, Cancer, Alzheimer’s, Covid and even Aids which they were making great strides in creating cures and advances for our health care. Now the science has stopped and we will no longer have those medical miracles at our fingertips.

Dr. Collins also stated that since our brilliant young scientists are being laid off and can’t get jobs here, they are leaving to go to countries where they can, such as Australia, Europe, and China. He stated we will start to see the effects of this brain drain soon. We are allowing this to happen. I don’t blame these young people. They want to learn and discover new cures and aren’t able to do this here. Perhaps if we get a sane and rational person back in office next time, they will come back. But it will take years to catch up to the progress we made in the past. Contrary to popular belief, it takes time to study and research cures.

Finally, Dr. Collins told Colbert that right now two-thirds of the country are what he calls the exhausted middle because of the controversy and outrage Olympics happening in our world right now. He believes that this has happened because of these deficits:

Truth deficit (no penalties for lying)
Trust deficit (we have stopped trusting each other)
Civility deficit (we are just being really mean to each other)
Compassion deficit (he gave an example of the USAID cuts and how people are suffering world-wide; over 90,000 children have died unnecessarily)
He believes that we, the exhausted ones, have to get all of this back. We are the ones who can make change happen.

I know we are all tired, but we can’t give up. We can’t stop believing in each other AND the science (and scientists) behind the advances to create a better world. We must continue to write to our representatives who are supporting this slippery slope slide (say that mouthful out loud!) into fascism. We must ask them to not take money from those billionaires who support this nonsense because these people are not helping to make a better world for all. Those billionaires seek power and want to buy your representatives. Those billionaires are only thinking about themselves and their money. I am starting to worry that censorship will not be far behind these blatant acts of our cancel culture.

So keep up the protests. Don’t give up even though you are exhausted. Don’t give up on learning and loving all people. Check out Dr. Collins’ book: The Road to Wisdom. I ordered it on Kindle today. It is going to be very interesting read.

I love you all, and hope you continue to do good things and support those in need every day you live on this smoke-filled planet!

Who Will Be There for You?

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I have been contemplating how I want to be remembered and who I want to have around me, especially when it’s time to dance off this plane of existence. My writing has always been one of a mixture of fact and fiction and my past frequently shows up in the characters I’ve written about. I don’t always reveal my darkest moments, and I am okay with that. I want to be remembered as one who loves life and appreciates others for who they are. I don’t want to dwell on past realities or relationships that brought me down. I want to celebrate the love I have been given over these last 25+ years. I hope that my family feels the same. I constantly search for what Wallace Stegner called a usable past that I can employ in my characters and reveal a little of myself to strangers. There are so many things that I want my family and friends to remember about me that are positive.

I wish that I had been more of a documentarian like Edward Abbey and kept my journals full. I wrote during my travels, but over the last few years, I became more sedentary and didn’t keep up. I began writing sort of a prequel about my beloved Caitlin, which came from notes over the past 50 or more decades. As I go through the notes, there are so many things that I wished I had fleshed out when I was living them. But that is the beauty of storytelling I suppose. Write what you know, and remember, and the story will follow.

I suppose pictures will have to be good enough for my future generations. As they fade, we are endeavoring to digitize those old Polaroids and other camera photos. But one thing I’d like to share with you is to keep a journal on hand at all times. Document your adventures because places you’ve cherished may not be there when your family travels to them.

I loved the fact that Wallace Stegner had a legacy, to-do list on his desk when he died and it was later published. He reminded me that while I am on this earth, there is still so much work to be done. I have completed many to-do lists and put them on my desktop of my computer, both short and long-term projects. I want to begin to add writing lists to this, for people and places I want to research and learn about.

But who will be there for you through your failing brain, through sickness, through general aging? Decide who is most important and ask them to be there as you will be there for them. Even if you don’t leave a large legacy, be there for the ones you care about the most, a family member, a loving spouse, or a best friend. My spouse is my both my spouse and best friend. I hope that he will be there for me as I will be there for him.

Finally, ever think about what you want to put out there at the end of life? As a writer I think it’s important to create your own obituary ahead of time. Find a picture you love, and save it on a thumb drive somewhere. Put it in an envelope and give it to each other. You’ve lived a wonderful life so why not have your family celebrate it the way you want them to?

So after walking around the house for 10 minutes looking for your glasses so you can finish your epic novel, and after finding them on the top of your head, rejoice in the fact that you are still here. Embrace the knowledge that your loved ones still love you, and that your words may not be read by everyone, but that they have been immortalized in print. Know that you have left a tiny footprint on this earth and those that love you will still remember your impact on their lives, whether good or bad, mad, or sad, cursed, or beloved. Hope for happiness during the life you still have and wish for happiness for you loved ones in the future. Acknowledge (and write it down) that special someone to watch over you. Someone to Watch Over Me

Love to all on this dark and stormy night! Keep enjoying the zucchini! Here is a wonderful recipe I just tried! Very delicious! Stanley Tucci’s Zucchini and Potato Muffins

Hail and Zucchini

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Or: Searching for Authenticity.
A few days ago the dark, black clouds moved in and a huge thunderstorm came over our little neck of the woods. The rain was intense and the hail burst into being, small balls of destruction raging down onto the planet and our fragile plants. Thunder boomed, and lightening lit up the skies. The giant beautiful leaves of the zucchini and squash became ragged as they were shredded. Thankfully, the flowers remained intact so I am now getting an abundance of zucchini. The destruction wreaked havoc on the gardens, and plants already weakened by the heat and weather suffered. For the first time, one of my long-time raised beds looked extremely sad. The rabbits or other creatures dug holes in it and now I have to go and fix it. It has survived all kinds of weather over the last 20 years.

But our weather doesn’t compare to what lightening has caused over the four corners area. Lightening started 4 different fires in Colorado, one of them raging in the Black Canyon, and the one in Utah is now passing over the border into our state. The few but brave firefighters have not contained them as of this writing. But the most devastating news is the fires on both the North and South Rim of the Grand Canyon which was also started by lightening—the loss of a legendary and historic building, the Grand Canyon Lodge, as well as many cabins and other structures in the park. For the first time since my trek down into the depths of the Canyon, I felt a huge hole in my heart. I don’t know if Phantom Ranch is still standing (across the Colorado River and at the base) where I have fond memories of camping there. I also have memories of taking the hottest shower in the Lodge after our 7-day adventure over thirty years ago, and arising from the dead of that rugged hike, peering out of those tall glass windows at beautiful scenery of the Canyon below me. I shared those memories in my Caitlin Ferguson mysteries, and wanted to share them with my family in a few years, taking them back in time to those beautiful vistas. They will never see the amazing sites from my original point of view and I am saddened that these things had to happen before they could see them. I know many people will rally to rebuild, but it won’t be the same. People want comfortable and new, and the authentic charm will be forever lost. Nature has won out once again.

But for this post, I want to dive into what it means to be authentic. According to an article in Psychology today: “Humanistic psychologists would say that by definition, authentic people possess a number of common characteristics that show they are psychologically mature and fully functioning as human beings. They:

  1. Have realistic perceptions of reality.
  2. Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
  3. Are thoughtful.
  4. Have a non-hostile sense of humor.
  5. Are able to express their emotions freely and clearly.
  6. Are open to learning from their mistakes.
  7. Understand their motivations.” Psychology Today-Authentic People

I think it’s important to be your authentic self. Sometimes I have unrealistic perceptions of reality. I feel like I have tried to live a full life, and expect a lot from others. Many people fail at meeting my perceptions, and yet I still have hope of them creating their own fulfillment. I fail repeatedly on Number 4, but I believe that I express my emotions freely, even though sometimes they aren’t clear, just a jumbled mess. I attempt to be open and apologize for my mistakes. I attempt to correct the mistakes and make life better. My motivations are clear about where I want others and me to be in the coming years. I want to continue learning something new and be influenced by the written word. So many books have changed my life, and I treat them like the old connect-the-dots game, creating a visually acceptable endgame. Reading the greats from hundreds of years ago, as well as new literature keeps my perspective growing. I want the freedom and independence to explore new ideas and letting go of ego, creating a world without anthropocentricity.

“I seek only the learning that treats of the knowledge of myself and instructs me how to die well and live well.” ― Michel de Montaigne

So for now, I am cursing and regaling the weather at the same time, and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Whether it is a zucchini bake, or a potato/zucchini muffin, the humble zucchini has given us sustenance in new ways. They help me create an authentic food staple for others to enjoy. And, to paraphrase the Jello commercial: There’s always room for zucchini….

Let us not forget the things that are happening right now to our world, but let us look forward to who we could become, creating a better self  from our past selves, thus, creating something wonderful in the future. Let’s decide what is authentic and cut back on the cynicism, and approach a future with sympathy. Let’s get beyond our hero-worshiping phase because heroes always fall. Let’s overcome what we thought was wonderful and create something better out of the ashes.

I love you all and ask that you create a beautiful world in times of sadness and disaster. Go forth, like the humble zucchini, and multiply your gifts!