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About Drusilla Tieben (Dru)

I am a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler and trainer. I hold a black belt in Aikido. In the past, I've had to make immediate decisions for people in life-threatening situations. I applied the law, martial arts principles, and life lessons, in a logical and ethical manner, and helped victims gain a sense of organization and control over their lives. I wrote a book entitled Discover the Life You Want to Live which is based on my career and writing experiences. I started this blog to help people solve their own problems and to give recognition to all the entrepreneurs out there who have a community and global view and aren't instant millionaires.

Are You Thinking?

Or: “We are what we think. All that we are, arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”—Buddha

We are short-term compared to the rest of the universe. People generally tend to think the future is a long way away. In reality, we should be thinking about our human impact on this planet long after we are dead. We should constantly be thinking about what we will be leaving for the future inhabitants of this planet. Alas, the passion for the get-rich schemes cloud many a crazy rich person who only want more for themselves. After all, seeking money and buying things are the American way of life, isn’t it? But having this as a priority in our uneducated lives, these ill-gotten gains, makes all those who don’t believe in this system suffer. These temporary gains, the boom or bust environment, especially in the wild, wild west have all been taken at the expense of what we hold dear. We are a dry land that is getting warmer and more populated over the years. Vegetation doesn’t grow back, and if you take the water away, there is nothing to replace it.

When David Gessner was writing All the Wild that Remains he visited Arches in Moab, to track down Edward Abbey’s haunts. He visited Abbey’s friend, Ken Sleight, now eighty-three-years-old. He was a former river rafter and horseman. Sleight was the inspiration for Seldom Seen Smith, the adventurous and laconic “Jack Mormon” who co-starred in Abbey’s best-known novel, The Monkey Wrench Gang. Abbey met him and stayed with him while he was at Arches. Sleight talked about Abbey and how his essays and books influenced so many people.

Sleight talked about the people who visit the wild places especially out in the west. He stated: “‘Are they thinking?’ That’s what he [Abbey] would always say. What he [Abbey] wanted to know is ‘Are they really thinking?’ Regardless of what they think of me, I want them to think.” The best times with Abbey, he added, were by the campfire while on the river. Abbey was an incredible spokesman and people listened to him. [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 98). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition].

These wise words rang true to my heart when I visited my old haunts in Utah last year. When I see what has happened to the once beautiful places, I despair that it can only get worse. It’s hard to be in the minority of thinkers who understand that there will always be global consequences for all of our current actions. It’s hard let harsh feelings go for those that who just want to take the money and run and are not given any consequences for their actions, particularly the oil and gas industry. The boom or bust has both made and broke small towns and the wild places are getting fewer and fewer. People in the lush, green east coast towns don’t understand what is happening out here. However, westerners persevere throughout these trying times. Easterners are now dealing with weather as well, but with the abundance of water, not the lack thereof. Environmental catastrophes are happening whether we want to accept it or not. We must look within to save the wild places and the people who live there.

It seems that human suffering is okay to those who are in power and we have to keep trying to change the mind of those in power. Gessner also stated that “Largeness of thought does not come naturally to most of us. It isn’t easy to see the big picture. Many don’t even try.” [Gessner, David. All The Wild That Remains: Edward Abbey, Wallace Stegner, and the American West (p. 122). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition].

So today I am asking you to read or re-read Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey and Beyond the Hundredth Meridian, by Wallace Stegner. I am asking all of you to think about what we have done in the past and how we can start to make a change for the future. It’s heady reading but worth it. We can only focus on one thing at a time and the billionaires aren’t going to change their way of doing business, so maybe small towns can really think about what it means to take their money. Maybe they can negotiate contracts that make more sense before these companies take everything out of the land and run away. When all is said and done and the fruits of their labor are carted off to Texas and other places, the towns will go bust if they don’t have a long-term plan. The land will not recover quickly and no one will help clean up their messes in the end. It’s a sad situation but little towns have to think about what they will accomplish in the long run with short-term gains, that only benefit the rich and powerful (and other states!). Just sayin’.

I love you all and hope we live to see another clear day!

Dancing in the Moonlight

Or: Do You Remember Where You Were in June 1973?
Or: Do You Remember When You Were 18?

Or: Do You Remember When You Believed You Had the World at Your Fingertips?

And here I am, 50+ years later still dancing, but with many harsh realities coming at me every day that I am alive. I just read about this, but it happened a while ago. It is still noteworthy to mention again. A bunch of so-called righteous moms checked out all of a San Diego library’s featured LBGTQ+ books and refused to bring them back unless the library took them off the shelf. Okay, so now I must rant a little. Here is what I am saying to you (I wish it could be directly to your face): First, what gives you the right to censure every other human being that uses that public library? Secondly, why are you soooooooooo ignorant? Thirdly, this worked against you, because when the public heard about your little stunt, they went out and purchased all of those books and gave them to the library, AND raised and donated $15,000.00 for the library. Then…. the City of San Diego matched that donation so now they had $30,000.00 total to buy many more wonderful books! So your little stunt backfired! Also, if I was the librarian, I would have sent you a big whopping bill!

All I’m saying to you people who think you know best for EVERYONE, just let it go. There are many other people in the world who have different opinions and lifestyles from you. You cannot dictate what others think or do. It has never worked in our society. We worked hard to be different and more tolerant of all people. I am still amazed there are so many small-minded people in the world. You should be striving to change every day that you live and let others live their lives. Don’t dictate demands on others who don’t agree with you. Don’t be afraid of DIFFERENT even if it is within your own family. They are still your siblings and children. They love you and you should absolutely and unconditionally love them back. Isn’t that what we fought for? To be a nation different from Europe? Everyone who came here in the past have their own ways of thinking. I don’t agree with all of them, but that doesn’t make me want to censure them. Conversations don’t have to be about your small-minded ways of thinking. Embrace everyone and Lighten Up!

So as we face and accept our aging, we can still believe that we all have the world at our fingertips. We can still believe that we all have choices and accept that we are all wonderful beings and choose love, not hate. And, after we’ve faced the heat of the day, we can just wait a little while for nightfall and thank the universe that we are still alive. We can then go outside and water the tomatoes, say hello to the bugs, the bats eating the bugs, nightfall, and embrace the moon! Do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight (KC and the Sunshine Band).

“We like our fun and we never fight
You can’t dance and stay uptight
It’s a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight….”
Dancing in the Moonlight
King Harvest – Original (Although Toploader does a good job!)

I love you all and wish some of you would just grow up into loving humans!

The Heat is On

As I ponder the many things I can do inside because of the heat I return to my writing once again and try and capture the thread that will finish the book. But, alas, my mind wanders, there are loads of inside chores to complete and I return to the blog, if only to get some writing in today.

Summer Solstice is upon us and I want to return to a simpler time when I danced with the goddess on the longest day of the year with my fellow merrymakers in sacred spaces. I once believed that I was on the right path to enlightenment and the world’s woes were slowly being resolved. I once embraced the path that we as a people of this great nation believed and cared for each other. The police I knew were starting to come around and be the friendly neighborhood protectors instead of using evil [gestapo] tactics. They were proud to be a part of the neighborhood. People weren’t shooting each other in my neighborhood. Neighbors left their doors open, had block parties and shared beautiful food and music without interference from the evil ICE folks, or local police using military tactics for no reason. I want to return to hearing that violent crime is down. Maybe it was all an illusion, but I was proud to be a part of that illusion of the world.

Today, things are rapidly deteriorating to fear tactics and hating BIPOC [i.e., the brown people or anyone who doesn’t look exactly like you]. I still don’t understand how some people can embrace this in their lives. I want those people to wake up and fight back no matter what. I want people to take away all the guns from those that are insanely violent and hurt those who are trying to do the right thing. And I want to return to the belief that we must allow justice to take place and punish those in the wrong (you know who I am talking about). I want that weird secret police to go away and stop harassing those who believe in the democratic process and are just doing the right thing within their jobs and the courts. I want to believe that we can return to finding enlightenment within our lives without worrying about be accosted, or even worse, shot.

So, enjoy the peaceful moments today. Go inside and leave off the TV and phone. Write to your heart’s content your thoughts and musings in your beautiful journals (or laptops!). Read a good book. Work on a puzzle with your family or play a game. And, put on some 80’s tunes (Glen Frey) and get away from it all for a little while.
The Heat is On

I love you all and hope only great things happen to you!

Rainy Day Reflections

Or: Slow Down and Smell the Flowers!
Or: Sneezing but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Fixing Sprinkler Breaks but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Picking up Bobcat Poop in the Middle of the Garden, but Still Smelling the Flowers!

So I am officially in my 70’s and am considered an elder in the world where we need names based on age. I feel like I have earned that title, and try to give good advice whether asked or not! However, today I must admit I have slowed down a little bit. My brain works in more mysterious ways. I remember lots of interesting facts and have amazing discussions, but can’t remember an actor’s or a cousin’s name.

I am writing better than I ever have before (Duh…I’ve slowed down so why not!) Physically, body parts ache more, I fall, I get goofy at the end of the day, I sneeze a lot when I’m outside but I’m still kicking it as high as I can.

I don’t like crowds as much, and try to find interesting places to visit to keep stimulating those brainwaves. But, alas, the crowds…. I am trying to let things go a little more, but that’s a tough one. I overthink too many things, and make myself a little fried when I can’t get it right (or the way I want it to be).

So, if I forget something mid-sentence when my blood sugar is low, or the conversation drifts into a place where we didn’t think it was going, bear with me. We will all get to the same place in the end, and hopefully the same conclusion. Be kind to each other and accept that we stop and talk to everyone about anything. Forgive past slights and move on to this next phase in life.

My advice for us elders is to keep on living, keep on loving, and keep on learning something new. Move your body and rest when you need to, even if it is a little more often than ten years ago. And don’t forget to stop and smell the roses (even if you sneeze ten thousand times afterwards). Love to all on this crazy, rainy, hailstorm day!

Birthdays and Worry

Is it wrong to worry about the future when you are older than most people?
Is it wrong to worry about your child’s future so much that you make yourself sick?
Is it wrong to question why people are the way they are when they support an idiot in office with no regard to their families or other families?
Why are we where we are?
Why are we shooting people who are trying to do the right thing?
Why are people in power afraid to do the right thing?
STAND UP!

Today is my birthday and I am pondering the state of the union and the world as we know it. Each year that I am alive, I have seen the good and the bad of administrations in power and it seems that this one is really bad. I am amazed at the people who are turning out in droves to protest and feel good that there are so many of us who care about what is going on. I am also amazed at those in power who aren’t marching with us, who think that this king is right and just and they refuse to depose him. He should not be the one leading the country. What will it take to bring about change for the better?

Today I am asking everyone that have supported this administration to reflect on who you voted for. I am begging you to ask good questions of your representatives why they are letting all of this nonsense happen. I am asking the red states to turn a little more purple and vote out those who support him. I am asking everyone to be brave and send out love to those who are being oppressed. I am asking everyone to lose their prejudices and accept everyone the way they are. Don’t kick out those in the military who are different than you (you know who I’m talking about). They signed up to do a job to support their country, just like you and your children did when wars were looming (or not). They wanted to do their duty to keep democracy alive. I am begging you to stop ignoring your children if they tell you they are different that what you expect. Have an open and honest conversation with them. Accept them the way they are. Embrace their differences with pride. You raised them to be independent. They may not be the same as you and you need to be okay with that. Love them for who they are.

And finally, don’t be hateful to anyone who doesn’t look like you. They have a right to be on this earth just like you. And many of them were in this country long before your family came here. RISE UP and make a difference before it’s too late. Move beyond your small plane of existence and see the world in a multi-colored perspective. Thank you.
RISE UP

Love vibes to all on this fantastic summer day.

Day to Remember Your Dad

Or: Gardening, Flight Delays and Treating Dad
So I was in my happy place outside today, finishing up a few things this morning, to keep the plants alive in this summer heat when I remembered I was going to make a breakfast for my hubby. Oh, well, kiddo is coming in—although a delayed flight—and when we pick him up, we’ll take Dad out for a meal.

Since my husband had never been up to Central City we took a drive yesterday the scenic route through Boulder Canyon and then through Nederland where they were protesting – yea! NO KINGS! We waved at all of them and gave them a thumbs up. I loved to see all of the people standing up this weekend against the craziness of you know who and his ilk.

The drive was amazing through HWY 119 even with all of the road work. Drivers were kind and we got there in one piece. We found free parking, then wandered around in the old part of town. We don’t gamble but it was a treat just to see the old mining town was still there, albeit a lot of casinos and people than the last time I went up there (before gambling!).

And the Opera House was closed on the weekend but the flowers were pretty and the weather was nice. The town was setting up for the bed races and Main street had some vendors. I bought a book from one of the locals. I want to give a shout out to Jen, J.R. Black for her book The Watchmen of Dalton Manor. It’s a wonderful story about growing up in an old, haunted house. She is a lovely storyteller and a native of Colorado. I recommend her stories to you to have a fun read. She’s on Amazon, just like me!

Overall, a beautiful weekend occurred in Colorado even though we are getting the heat. So be kind to your spouses and your fathers today. Embrace the celebration. Love to All!

Do We Change for the Better as We Age?

I’d like to think that for every year we are alive on this planet, we all become the wise person that we have looked up to and attempted to emulate over our elder years. I’d like to think that we all grow and begin to see the world from a better perspective. I’d like to think that we become more of a human being, like the wise grandfather elder spoke about in the old movie, Little Big Man. (A must-see movie! Add it to your bucket list!)

Grandfather, Old Lodge Skins spoke to his son, Jack Crabb—or Little Big Man, about the war with white men. Little Big Man asked if Grandfather—Old Lodge Skins, hated the white man now (after warring with people like General Custer and his army).
Jack Crabb: Do you hate them? Do you hate the White man now?
Old Lodge Skins: Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity of it? Because the human beings, my son, they believe everything is alive. Not only man and animals. But also water, earth, stone. And also the things from them… like that hair. The man from whom this hair came, he’s bald on the other side, because I now own his scalp! That is the way things are. But the white man, they believe EVERYTHING is dead. Stone, earth, animals. And people! Even their own people! If things keep trying to live, white man will rub them out. That is the difference.”

After the war scene, Jack spoke with his grandfather once again about death and the fate of Human Beings (what his grandfather called his people):
Jack Crabb: Grandfather, I am glad to see you.
Old Lodge Skins: Glad to see you too, my son. My heart soars like a hawk. Do you want to eat? I won’t eat with you because I’m gonna’ die soon.
Jack Crabb: Die, grandfather?
Old Lodge Skins: Yes, my son. I want to die in my own land, where Human Beings are buried in the sky.
Jack Crabb: Well, why do you want to die, grandfather?
Old Lodge Skins: Because there is no other way to deal with the White Man, my son. Whatever else you can say about them, it must be admitted: you cannot get rid of them.
Jack Crabb: No, I suppose not, grandfather.
Old Lodge Skins: There is an endless supply of White Man. But there always has been a limited number of Human Beings. We won today… we won’t win tomorrow.”

The message for me was clear: There are so many of us that don’t care about all the little things and the original people on earth that have been here long before we got here. There are many things we need to learn to survive in a world where evil people get the upper hand. And there are many things that are going to die and disappear in our lifetime, no matter what we do, because there are so many people who don’t want to respect the wise elders, or become one and do the right thing. All I am saying tonight to everyone who are still drinking the Kool-Aid:
Just….. Be better!

I send out love and happiness to all those who still care to do the right thing. And for those who don’t, Just Be Better!

We Are All Superstitious Beings

Why do we create rituals? is it something that will help us succeed, or to ward off evil? Why do we insist that the various versions of a supreme being is the answer to everything? Is it because we just want to feel in control over everything in our lives? I have been contemplating for a long time the dilemma of believing in something that just isn’t real. I have been ruminating about these beliefs that people (and large organizations) want to enforce on all others, something that just makes most of our lives worse, not better.

I feel especially concerned when I am confronted by people that embrace a crazy rigid belief system that their ancestors and families passed down and enforced on them as children and insist on changing another person’s life choices to fit into what they think is right for you.

In his book All the Wild that Remains, David Gessner stated that his friend, University of Colorado professor, Dr. Reg Saner (1928-2021), considered himself a realist, not a romantic. Dr. Saner once wrote in an essay, “God is the single worst idea human beings ever had.” And he told Gessner in an interview: “Christians have often behaved worse than Murder Incorporated.”

And, Woody Allen once said about God: “If there is one, he’s a terrific underachiever.”

Religion in many derivations has been around a long time, and as civilization evolved, so did its grip on humans. Even when unknown and outrageous statements made people afraid, the people still believed. Powerful religious wars broke out and people of all shapes, colors, and beliefs, were tortured, because they didn’t believe in whatever the people in power believed and refused to bow down to the ones in control. The kings and oligarchs, with the help of powerful churches, wanted power and political advantage over the masses. So what better way to create mythic heroes who did battle for a god, slaying those who would disagree and fight back for their values and rights. Oppression has never worked.

According to Wikipedia, the word superstition is used to refer to a religion not practiced by the majority of a given society regardless of whether the prevailing religion contains alleged superstitions or to all religions. Definitions of the term vary, but they commonly describe superstitions as irrational beliefs at odds with scientific knowledge of the world.

In a 2025 PsychMechanics article, the author stated that: “Once a superstition gets planted into a person’s mind, he collects ‘proofs’ to bolster his belief. Unless he questions his superstitions or is forced to question them, he may carry them in his psyche all his life.”  https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-have-superstitious-beliefs/

In a 2024 study published by Scientific American, it was suggested “…that very few people show a complete lack of superstitious beliefs or practices. So why do we remain superstitious, even though it is clearly irrational and could lead us astray? It turns out superstitions may provide certain psychological benefits.” We used these beliefs as defense mechanisms and they are a self-serving bias. We believe it gives us control over the unknown.

So my thoughts are this: Tradition and traditional values aren’t necessarily a good thing. We should learn from our past mistakes and evolve as a people and create a more civil society, where everyone’s opinions and point of view matters. We should stop the hate. We should hold our judgement of others because their values differ from ours. We should strive to create a society where there is not just one big guy in the sky (or office) and embrace that everyone is different. When our defense mechanisms take over, we tend to lash out to those that are different from us. We take the gospel of a religious bible too literally, and it has been used to justify many evil doings. It is simply a collection of myths and tales, just like any other book, written over centuries where life evolved and changed.

And we still haven’t learned that everyone is different from us. We are unique individuals and should be treated fairly no matter what another person believes. Sometimes, we just have to understand that oppression is prevalent in our society today. It would be great if we had folks like the ones on the TV show Leverage who can right the wrongs and the benefactor always wins. Alas, most things in the real world do not wrap up neat and tidy like an hour-long TV show.

So, having said all that, I want to get to the meat of the matter. I just wanted to state that for all of these reasons given, that’s why prayer doesn’t work. It is superstition with a set of rules. I know it makes you feel better if you tell me “I’ll pray for you,” but that is not the answer to the worlds’ ills. Your selfless actions and the sciences are the answers to help anyone in need, not prayer. A make-believe external all-knowing being does not save or cause things to happen. You as a human being, cause things to happen, whether through your actions or in-actions. If you can embrace and understand this, you are a better person for it, and you will do the right thing to help others who need help without the attachment or a fake being.

I know I will make a lot of you folks unhappy with this post, but all I am asking in this blog post is for you to stop praying for me, stop the prayer hand emojis, and stop quoting things from your bible to me. It makes you happy because you want everyone to comply with your beliefs. But it becomes an extremely uncomfortable conversation if I defend my position to you because you don’t want to listen to another person’s point of view. You want me to believe what you believe and I simply don’t and never will. It is my right and privilege to be the person I am trying to be.

Each time I encounter these conversations, I take great steps to let you be who you are, but you don’t have the courtesy to do the same. So, just stop before you start. Thank you.

I love you, faults, and all, but let’s just let everyone be themselves every day that we live!

Waiting to “Exhail”!

Most of the weeds are pulled, the bushes are planted, the seeds are emerging from the raised bed soil, and the zucchini and squash are in the ground! I am sending out an enormous THANK YOU across the UNIVERSE to my husband who has helped me through injury and my aging body. I am grateful every day you are alive and well, even though being a cancer survivor is rough on your body. We are both going through a lot of exhaustion and exhaling to master daily chores, especially those that I have tried to keep up with every day. I appreciate you stepping up this summer for all the laborious tasks that I am not able to do right now. We are, after all pretty good together when we decide it’s worth doing and I’m not too bossy (okay, maybe I’m still a little bossy!)

I know non-gardeners think we are nutty people—always wanting to get our hands dirty, moving rocks around, taking away rock fill, putting rock fill back in, constantly weeding, fighting massive thunderstorms, flinching when we get hail as big as golf balls, shooing away literally tame rabbits that are trying to eat everything, and bobcats in the backyard-hopefully eating some of the rabbits! But in reality, we gardeners are generally trying to make a wonderland out of the clay soil and our crazy weather out here.

At the end of summer, and after I put the yard tasks behind me, I am sad that winter is coming. I clean up, put up the tools, and then go inside. I get antsy around April (false spring out here!) and start planting seedlings in the sun room. Unfortunately, the sun room isn’t heated and so I have to use space heaters when it gets down in the 20s and 30s at night. But, voila! Real spring happens, albeit late this year, and I can do it all again. Every year is different and I focus on different areas of the yard. Last year, there was the gazebo build, and this year it has been major cleanups, and planting around the gazebo. Who knows where I will venture next year? I am grateful for my farming father, who taught me a thing or two about the land. I am grateful for my ex-neighbor who was a Master Gardner who moved away 7 years ago to lush North Carolina, but still keeps in touch and talks about what we each have done in our yards. And long story short, I am grateful to be alive, semi-healthy, and loving my wonderful spouse for all of his help.

So whether you are waiting to exhale or waiting for the hail I hope you all live in that moment before any negative disasters that may come your way. Focus on the now and the positive. Love the beautiful green things you have planted and relish the promise of food before fall! Love tonight to all and be at peace with yourself for a little while!

Riding the Biggest Wave

It’s almost summertime and images of those amazing surfers riding the big waves always make me dream of Hawaii. Although I am not a surfer I loved watching the locals master the biggest waves I’ve ever seen. Even the littlest kids were better than I could expect to be, but they get to go out every day and practice since they lived there. When there was a surge, school would let out and they were there on top of those crazy waves. Their skill set is something that we could all learn from to plow through all of the discontent and uncertainties in our lives.

Surf culture dates back at least 1500 years. I always thought those free-spirited folks had such a carefree life, with a knowing that it could end at any moment in a rush of turbulent water. There was fear, but they continued to conquer the inevitable. It is a culture of human versus water, as well as human versus other humans. There was always strife on who would dictate the local areas, warding off all those they didn’t consider royalty or a different tribe. And yet, their culture created a community that helped each other, from the food they ate to the surfboards they would make. The best surf spots were guarded secrets to the outsiders and they taught each other how to pick the right wave for the ride. They had mad skills in learning how to stay on top.

Each day so many of us choose to ride the wave that has been given to us and yet we could be that rogue warrior that goes off on their own despite the risks. We could learn from this counterculture by riding the wave that helps us postulate carefully about the facts that are given us. We can be the people who love and respect each other and do not blame everything on poor people. We can decide that everyone deserves a chance at the table, no matter who they are. We can be the people who accept differences and not worry about where we came from. We can be the people that takes care of each other. We can stop comparing ourselves to those who have more money. They will be who they will be, and we can’t change them. We are on a biological clock and human life is limited. So, why don’t we live our lives helping others instead of hoarding and having the mentality of I got mine and I’m gonna keep it? Live a comfortable life as you age, but help those in need with your personal wealth. Stop worrying about everything else, and turn off the TV and your phones for a little while each day. We can’t keep money and treasures after we die, no matter what the bazillionaires believe. We don’t need more to be happy. And just like the oceans, life is full of differences and mysterious beings. Let’s embrace them all and have some fun doing what we love with what we learn every day.

Love to all on this crazy, rainy night!