Future Forecasts and Creepy Sounds in the Night

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We are still fearful animals when things aren’t going the way we expect them to, or darkness and cold overwhelm us at nighttime. Why do we jump to noises in the night? It’s because our animal instincts arise in the dark (or dark times). Our caveman/woman comes out and our fears overwhelm us. We don’t want to get eaten by creatures in the night.

Today that translates as we want everything to go our way, and there are millions of opinions about what that way is. And yet, our brain tells us that we keep expecting others in positions of power to do everything we want them to do. Unfortunately, these people are just as human as we are, and they want to stay in power, so fearmongering is what they do, causing the rampant escalation of speculation.

So, we continue to get frightened in the dark, and can’t get out of our depression. Sometimes we lose our motivation and don’t know how to get it back. Sometimes we just have to sit and think. And, then we must move on from that state of mind. We must push away the darkness and move forward freely and lovingly with each other. We must take back control of our own minds.

It’s hard to maintain positivity in our actions when we don’t know what our future holds. And depression can have such a devastating effect on a person’s health and wellbeing. So let’s try to uplift each other with positive thinking. Pay it forward and keep on sending out good vibrations. Exercise and connect with friends when possible. Walk and talk with each other, giving encouragement and keeping the negative talk at bay. Cook and eat delicious meals with each other on a regular basis and talk about your day. Set your priorities with your tasks and break big overwhelming tasks into smaller ones. Do what you can when you can. Face your fears. Don’t avoid the things that are difficult. Embrace the challenge. And finally, be patient with yourself. That is probably my biggest  problem. I want to do everything and be everywhere, all at once. I want to follow that everything bagel to take over and make my life simpler and tell me that nothing matters. (See that movie!!!) But I know that’s not what I need.

So yes, life is difficult. We don’t always need others to over-explain things to us. We are all knowledgeable humans in differing ways. Sometimes, we just want others to actively listen to us, and acknowledge something we said with just a nod or say, “Oh, that’s so cool!” And, sometimes, we want people just to do something for others and motivate others freely without complaining about the situation. Sometimes, we want others to think beyond themselves and stop saying, “That doesn’t work for me.” OF COURSE all of the things don’t always work for you or me, but at least try to go around the obstacle and think of a better way to solve the problem. So, stop saying that. It’s really not productive.

It’s time we push our fears of the dark and the creatures that go bump in the night, and give a helping hand to others who are struggling with life. It’s time to give an ear to someone who needs us. It’s time we release the egocentric and move on to the altruistic side of the pendulum. Do something good every day for the rest of your life and you might balance the scales. I hope you have a safe drive out in this cold world and a warm and cozy night. Love and hugs to all.

Sundays and Happiness

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Sundays always seem to be the longest day, especially when it’s cold outside. I try to do all of the things that I haven’t finished during the week, but sometimes it’s just a soup and enjoyable book day. My worries won’t all go away, and I drink too much caffeine, but I called the kiddo and told him I loved him. I hugged my husband and tried to be at peace. I will try and finish what I can and move on to the next week. The worries can wait for another day. Actions can wait for another day. Focus on bringing happiness to whomever needs it.

So, I am simply reflecting on happiness today and giving you some wonderful quotes:

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” (Dalai Lama);
“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” (Eleanor Roosevelt);
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” (Abraham Lincoln);
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” (Oscar Wilde); and
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” (Marcus Aurelius). 

Here are some other good ones for happiness:
Happiness quotes

Coping with Anxiety: My Journey and the 333 Rule

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Whenever my anxiety flares-up I dream some really weird dreams about driving along a treacherous road. (Quite the metaphor, huh?)
-Usually it is along a mountainous path that is very narrow or one-laned. It is not paved and the car coming towards me is always driving fast like a bat out of h*ll.
-Another dream had me driving up the snow-covered rocks on a narrow rock path in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. (It doesn’t exist that I know of!)
-Other times it is a return to my driver’s education test from my early driving years on, you guessed it, dirt roads in my neighborhood in our small southern countryside, or around the courthouse the next town over.

But last night was different. It was a combination of my southern routes with the windy dirt roads, but in the mountains of Colorado. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and took a shortcut. The road was all lumpy, like someone had churned up the dirt with a plow and left it that way. Clods of dirt were piled up and underneath them was soft and sandy dirt. It was hard to get over in my little Subaru Crosstrek, but I was persevering until I came to a rock wall, similar to the Garden of the Gods type of wall. (What an imaginative and weird combination, right?)

I got out of the car and walked around and then looked for a way to get out. Then I walked back down the road and heard singing. When I looked over the ledge, I saw a band setting up and playing with the rock wall against their backs. And I saw my friend Karen sitting there listening to the band. She looked around and said, “What took you so long?” And then I woke up.

My friend is out of town, so she was on my mind. I always worry a little about them because they take amazing trips, but to places that are a little scary sometimes, at least, that’s what I think when she describes them to me. I guess I’m just a worrier at heart.

So, I have been pondering ways to cope with anxiety. I have been writing more, exercising more, meditating, reaching out to friends, and trying to stay in the present moment (mindfulness). I also read about the 333 Rule:
Identify three objects;
Listen for three sounds you hear; and
Move three parts of your body.
The 333 rule helps people focus on the present moment and distract from anxious thoughts. It’s based on mindfulness, which is a way of being aware of the present without judgment. 

The 333 rule is a mindfulness technique that can help people feel calmer and more focused when they’re feeling anxious. It can be used anywhere, anytime and doesn’t require any supplies or speaking. Finally, you can repeat it as many times as needed.
For more information go to: Healthline.com
Other strategies can include:
Keep a journal;
Get enough sleep;
Avoid excess caffeine (don’t know if I can do that one);
Challenge negative thoughts;
Forgive yourself; and
Try to put things in perspective

For more information on being anxious, see these articles:
Prevention.com
Goodhousekeeping.com

So remind yourself that it’s okay to stop worrying. Work through why that makes you so anxious if you stop. Take a deep breath and do something fun, like making homemade chicken broth, pouring it over some ramen and vegetables and slurp it up! So delicious and comforting. I love you all and send warm hugs to everyone who has to be out in this weather!

Cherishing Life’s Simple Moments: A Heartfelt Reflection

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Every day brings us new beginnings and challenges but it’s the little gestures that help. Everyone was trying to get a workout in before the storm so there was no parking for all of us little old ones, so we circled and circled and finally found spots to park and attend our choir practice. We learned some new songs and practiced some old songs. We came away happy for that moment in time.

And then, I went to the grocery store along with the rest of Louisville because we always go crazy before a whopper of a storm. It is in our nature to shop and clear out the shelves with comfort foods and soup fixings and then hold up in our warm little caves.

But the coolest thing that happened at the grocery store, was that I found everything I needed, talked to an adorable woman who I encouraged to come next week and sing with us, and then paid it forward with my $20 off coupon that I couldn’t use at the checkout because I didn’t spend enough (hallelujah!). The couple behind me was grateful, and the checkout girl said, “I love the people in this town!” I felt joy again for a little while.

And then, I got home and read my email. I was sad to hear about the death of a wonderful person who was such a cool guy. We enjoyed his company so much when he joined our table for lunch at the senior center. He was such a delight and regaled us with his wonderful life stories. We often saw each other in the swimming pool and chatted and swam next to each other in the lanes, much to the chagrin of others swimming. I had been texting him to ask him if I could draft his story for my blog and hadn’t heard from him. I found out through our Senior Center staff that he had passed a few weeks ago. I found his memorial site on Facebook and loved all the pictures and wishes posted by his family and friends. Although I hadn’t known him for a long time, I appreciated how rich his life was, and it was good to see he has a great family. Jonathan Hritz will be missed.

So my message today is to stop worrying about the big stuff and just enjoy the moments with the people you love and the people you get to know every hour of every day. None of us know what the future will hold. So hold your loved ones’ hands and tell them how much you appreciate and care about them. Do this every day.

Love to all. Stay safe and warm.

Humble

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Humble means not being proud or arrogant, and having a lack of excess pride. It can also mean being modest, unpretentious, unassuming, or insignificant.

I am not referring to any religious movement such as the He Gets Me mega ads that are out there and driven by a hate-filled man’s money. (Look him up. He doesn’t believe his own ad’s words!). I am not referring to any religious movements and beliefs at all. And I am not referring to the meaning that allows anyone in positions of power or have more money than others to lower another person to a condition importance or dignity below them, destroy another’s independence, or gain power and will or make meek those who are just trying to survive.

In this blog, I just want to put the word out there what humble truly means to me and should mean to everyone else out there in the world. Being humble means being courteously respectful of others even when we don’t agree with them. And humble means being what any human being needs to be in our world, even when it’s not comfortable.

Research suggests that humility is a quality of certain types of leaders and is studied as a trait that can enhance leadership effectiveness. For example, James Collins, (entrepreneur, wrote In Search of Excellence, among others) and his colleagues found that a certain type of leader, whom they term level 5, possesses humility and fierce resolve. The research suggests that humility is multi-dimensional and includes self-understanding and awareness, openness, and perspective taking.—Wikipedia

A little humility goes a long way. Hate and arrogance will not get us anywhere in a society that still needs to come together. I haven’t given up the next four years to fear like I keep hearing from others. I will continue to send out good vibrations to all those who continue to work in government in hopes that they can somehow make good choices and keep the people…their constituents…in mind when they made decisions. I will continue to express gratitude for the life I have been given and spread gratitude to others who are helping make the world a better place.

Love to all. Stay warm and safe these next few days.

FIRE and VICTIM RELIEF

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I have been monitoring the California fires, and it brings back anxiety from when we had the Marshall Fire out here four years ago. Every time the wind gets crazy strong in Colorado, I can’t sleep. And now the California victims are feeling the same thing.

I want to say one thing: Sometimes we dismiss all the people and actors with money out in the world as being selfish people. But they have stepped up this time and helped everyone in need who was burned out in the California fires. These are a few who are providing tremendous aid to all the displaced folks.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2025/01/15/billionaires-celebrities-donate-los-angeles-wildfire-relief-zuckerberg-jamie-lee-curtis-kylie-jenner/

I can’t give much, but I am giving what I can to the World Central Kitchen. Not everyone has toothbrushes and underwear right now, but they still have to eat. Thank you WCK for all of your charitable deeds!

I encourage you to donate to any of the organizations who are legitimate and check out the matching funds sites that the celebrities are currently creating. I send love and hope to the people who are survivors!

Valentine’s Day Questionnaire

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Hello everyone. I would love to here your thoughts on love for an awesome blog on Valentine’s Day. You may respond via my email. I will compile a message to everyone out there who needs a little boost on that day.

If you want to be known, just sign your name or you can be anonymous. Thanks for participating in a labor of love for my blog.

1.      What is your best memory of when you fell in love?

2.      Who is/was the love of your life? Expand.

3.      How do you feel about love now?

4.      What would your perfect day be if you could do anything you wanted with the person you loved?

Hope to hear from all of you readers. THANK YOU!      Due February 4, 2025

Email to: dru_tieben@comcast.net

We Are All Weeds

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Weeds: A plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth. Especially: one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants. (2): a weedy growth of plants. By observing the weeds in your yard, you can pick up clues about soil fertility, moisture levels, and pH. Some weeds like it wet, some like it dry. Some grow in rich soil; some tolerate even the poorest soil. Some seek out sunny, open areas while others prefer the shady dampness of a forest floor.

I went to a wonderful lecture years ago that was held at the Louisville Library and sponsored by the Open Space folks. The speaker was a guy named Doug Larson, and he was highly informative. He stated that “A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill.” I learned a lot about why my yard seems to sprout sooooo many weeds. The best thing I learned about weeds was that they were amazing clue givers on how good your soil was doing. Alas, they choked out grass in a lot of areas, because they are so hardy. And, if truth be told, some of the weeds are a poor (wo)man’s flowers! They are simply incredible survivors. And who needs grass anyway in a drought environment? (I keep taking out more every year….)

When I am immersed in writing, I look forward to researching quotes for each chapter. People say amazing things in person and in writing and I love the idea of putting them in my books! So, I used Doug’s quote in one of the chapters of my latest book and followed it up by one of mine:
“We are all different and our differences are what make us strong. We are all weeds.”

Weeds always seem to be a plant in the wrong place. And, yet we can take heart that this little weed growing in the middle of the road or a crack in the sidewalk conveys bravery and an ability to thrive in the worst conditions. People are like weeds in the way we survive the worst conditions. Like weeds, we are both wild and beautiful, and emerge into places we thought we’d never be, bravely pushing through no matter the odds. We can be in the wrong place at the right time and that’s a good thing. We can be both vulnerable and brave at the same time. Nothing can bring us down unless we allow it to happen.

I am always plucking and mulching at the weeds in my gardens. I try to enjoy the gardens I have created, and weeds seem to always want to take over! And why not? It’s a super soil of nurturing nutrients. They want the same thing as the rest of the plants (and people).

I ask myself, “Do I do the same thing with my life? Maybe weeds are just those things that get in the way of the life I want to live. Trying to create something beautiful in my backyard is challenging work. But wasting too much time plucking the weeds and not planting new plants, drains my time and my energy. All those human distractions out there do the same thing. The saying in the weeds refers to an overwhelming amount of work or being too immersed in something complex. Maybe we can take a step back, appreciate the weeds (except thistle – I loathe thistle!) and let them be for a season. However, if they choke out your beautiful plants, go ahead and pluck them out. That’s okay, too. For more insights on this metaphor see:
http://katherinediuguid.squarespace.com/longing-to-belong

The important thing to remember is try not to be too judgy, “The only difference between a weed and a flower is judgement. Remember that. Remember it on your darkest days and your sunniest moments. Remember it when life is burdensome and when it’s glorious. Remember that no matter what road you travel, there will be weeds.”
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/weed-flower-wendy-rumrill

So fellow weeds, I ask you to hang in there and we’ll all get through everything together. Here’s another quote from the book (and Bob Marley). I think it sums up what I wanted to say tonight! Love and hugs to all who venture into and beyond the weeds!

“Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you riding through the ruts,
Don’t you complicate your mind
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don’t bury your thoughts;
put your vision to reality.” —Bob Marley

Are We There Yet?

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Remember the days when all of us kids were jammed back in the station wagon and headed out on a vacation to the beach or the mountains? For me it was a nightmare. Winding through southern states before we could get to Florida, or Alabama, or Tennessee, among other places. There was no AC in the hot car, no seatbelts, three girls fighting in the back seat and later a brother standing up in the front seat between our mom and dad. We would get a smack (on anything my mother could reach) if we asked, “Are we there yet?” too many times. That was my childhood.

Well, I made it to adulthood and vacations changed for the better. My family has been on many enjoyable trips, going to the beaches, the mountains, and cities across the U.S. We didn’t go back to the south except a few times. The west has so much to offer. When I think about the changes to travel and the affordability of air travel, my heart lightens. Sure, it’s trying with a little one, but as he got older, it was fun to watch him enjoy the new sites and vistas. We weren’t able to go only many vacations, but now that he’s grown, kiddo can see the world. And I look forward to the day we both retire and have our own travel adventures by ourselves. There are still so many places to see in this great big world, faraway places with lovely people and beautiful vistas.

But you know me, that’s not the question I really want you to ponder. “Are we there yet?” This question goes beyond the literal meaning of a physical destination. This question represents a vastly broader inquiry. It’s about reaching your desired goals or state of being. It sometimes reflects impatience to getting something completed. It is an ask that lets you think about what you have achieved. Are you there yet? Did you reach your goals in the life you have lived so far? If not, what steps can you take to get there?

Think of it this way: Consider what there means in your current situation. What are you striving for right now? And how do you measure your progress? Can you reflect on your milestones and use them to tell if you are moving in the right direction? Are you being patient with yourself? Are you persevering through the tough times? Are you making a list? (That’s me, the list maker….) Can you focus on the process of the journey instead of fixating on the end result? It’s a better way to enjoy each thing you accomplish on the way to the end of the journey!

So when the world’s problems get you down, and you start worrying about everything that is disastrous, send out messages of hope, both mentally and physically, and know that you are a good person and are trying to do you absolute best. Although I was not a great believer in the generation where every kid gets a trophy, sometimes I agree that it is a really good thing. And adults need those trophies, too, especially if they are trying to do something new and scary. Or, if they are trying to do the right thing in the face of adversity every day of their lives. So, when you think about the milestones in your life, and learn to be satisfied with where you’re at right now so you can move towards completion in the task at hand, think of it this way. One of the things my dad told us when we were whining, “Are we there yet?” was:

“Closer than you think.”
Be well tonight and I send out love and hugs to all of you.

Forgive and Live

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“I release you; I forgive you; I wish only the best for you.”—Stephen Wurzel

The interesting thing about re-visiting and reading old science fiction novels is that back in the early days of this genre, the authors had no idea how far we would come with technology. Instead, they believed that their future selves would have cures for all illnesses, including the worst ones such as cancer and heart conditions.

We have come a long way with technology, yet this technology has sometimes led us astray and our hearts have suffered. And every year I ask: “Where are the flying cars, space resorts, and luxury yachts in space?” (Okay, really? The Fifth Element movie. It’s on TV allllll the time! Watch it and you will be happy!)

Our psyches have suffered because so many of us have bought into the “Must stay in touch with everyone and everything in every moment!” mental crisis, thus causing more stress and thus more diseases now than ever before. We also seem to have forgotten that old adage, that if you can forgive someone and just let it go you will be a healthier person.

Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.”

Forgiveness is not just about saying the words. “It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not,” Dr. Swartz says. As you release the anger, resentment, and hostility, you begin to feel empathy, compassion and sometimes even affection for the person who wronged you. Here are a few of the things she listed in the article than you can be active with forging ahead:
Reflect and remember.
Empathize with the other person.
Forgive deeply.
Forgive yourself.
For more information see:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it

Almost everyone has experienced being wronged by someone. It could be a former co-worker, friend, or family member. But hanging on to those negative feelings can do great harm to your health. It’s never easy, but if you dwell on all those past hurts, you fill your mind with negativity and anger. Free yourself of this and project kindness to the world, even if it is sometimes cruel.

“Practicing forgiveness can have powerful health benefits. Observational studies, and even some randomized trials, suggest that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction. Yet, forgiving people is not always easy.”—Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, Harvard University. For his ideas, see go to: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness

So forgive and forget every day you are here on this planet. And if you are having a tough time thinking about all this, here is my suggestion for today: Bake an upside-down pear cake with store bought cake mix and sautéed pears that are super ripe! Let it cool, turn it out of the pan so the pears are on top (right side up) and enjoy. So delicious!

Next, if you haven’t purchased a shredder yet, I encourage you to do so. Complete the mind-numbing task of shredding two years’ worth of old tax and household papers. Messy, but satisfying. I love you all on this cold winter’s night!