Rainy Day Reflections

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Or: Slow Down and Smell the Flowers!
Or: Sneezing but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Fixing Sprinkler Breaks but Still Smelling the Flowers!
Or: Picking up Bobcat Poop in the Middle of the Garden, but Still Smelling the Flowers!

So I am officially in my 70’s and am considered an elder in the world where we need names based on age. I feel like I have earned that title, and try to give good advice whether asked or not! However, today I must admit I have slowed down a little bit. My brain works in more mysterious ways. I remember lots of interesting facts and have amazing discussions, but can’t remember an actor’s or a cousin’s name.

I am writing better than I ever have before (Duh…I’ve slowed down so why not!) Physically, body parts ache more, I fall, I get goofy at the end of the day, I sneeze a lot when I’m outside but I’m still kicking it as high as I can.

I don’t like crowds as much, and try to find interesting places to visit to keep stimulating those brainwaves. But, alas, the crowds…. I am trying to let things go a little more, but that’s a tough one. I overthink too many things, and make myself a little fried when I can’t get it right (or the way I want it to be).

So, if I forget something mid-sentence when my blood sugar is low, or the conversation drifts into a place where we didn’t think it was going, bear with me. We will all get to the same place in the end, and hopefully the same conclusion. Be kind to each other and accept that we stop and talk to everyone about anything. Forgive past slights and move on to this next phase in life.

My advice for us elders is to keep on living, keep on loving, and keep on learning something new. Move your body and rest when you need to, even if it is a little more often than ten years ago. And don’t forget to stop and smell the roses (even if you sneeze ten thousand times afterwards). Love to all on this crazy, rainy, hailstorm day!

Birthdays and Worry

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Is it wrong to worry about the future when you are older than most people?
Is it wrong to worry about your child’s future so much that you make yourself sick?
Is it wrong to question why people are the way they are when they support an idiot in office with no regard to their families or other families?
Why are we where we are?
Why are we shooting people who are trying to do the right thing?
Why are people in power afraid to do the right thing?
STAND UP!

Today is my birthday and I am pondering the state of the union and the world as we know it. Each year that I am alive, I have seen the good and the bad of administrations in power and it seems that this one is really bad. I am amazed at the people who are turning out in droves to protest and feel good that there are so many of us who care about what is going on. I am also amazed at those in power who aren’t marching with us, who think that this king is right and just and they refuse to depose him. He should not be the one leading the country. What will it take to bring about change for the better?

Today I am asking everyone that have supported this administration to reflect on who you voted for. I am begging you to ask good questions of your representatives why they are letting all of this nonsense happen. I am asking the red states to turn a little more purple and vote out those who support him. I am asking everyone to be brave and send out love to those who are being oppressed. I am asking everyone to lose their prejudices and accept everyone the way they are. Don’t kick out those in the military who are different than you (you know who I’m talking about). They signed up to do a job to support their country, just like you and your children did when wars were looming (or not). They wanted to do their duty to keep democracy alive. I am begging you to stop ignoring your children if they tell you they are different that what you expect. Have an open and honest conversation with them. Accept them the way they are. Embrace their differences with pride. You raised them to be independent. They may not be the same as you and you need to be okay with that. Love them for who they are.

And finally, don’t be hateful to anyone who doesn’t look like you. They have a right to be on this earth just like you. And many of them were in this country long before your family came here. RISE UP and make a difference before it’s too late. Move beyond your small plane of existence and see the world in a multi-colored perspective. Thank you.
RISE UP

Love vibes to all on this fantastic summer day.

Day to Remember Your Dad

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Or: Gardening, Flight Delays and Treating Dad
So I was in my happy place outside today, finishing up a few things this morning, to keep the plants alive in this summer heat when I remembered I was going to make a breakfast for my hubby. Oh, well, kiddo is coming in—although a delayed flight—and when we pick him up, we’ll take Dad out for a meal.

Since my husband had never been up to Central City we took a drive yesterday the scenic route through Boulder Canyon and then through Nederland where they were protesting – yea! NO KINGS! We waved at all of them and gave them a thumbs up. I loved to see all of the people standing up this weekend against the craziness of you know who and his ilk.

The drive was amazing through HWY 119 even with all of the road work. Drivers were kind and we got there in one piece. We found free parking, then wandered around in the old part of town. We don’t gamble but it was a treat just to see the old mining town was still there, albeit a lot of casinos and people than the last time I went up there (before gambling!).

And the Opera House was closed on the weekend but the flowers were pretty and the weather was nice. The town was setting up for the bed races and Main street had some vendors. I bought a book from one of the locals. I want to give a shout out to Jen, J.R. Black for her book The Watchmen of Dalton Manor. It’s a wonderful story about growing up in an old, haunted house. She is a lovely storyteller and a native of Colorado. I recommend her stories to you to have a fun read. She’s on Amazon, just like me!

Overall, a beautiful weekend occurred in Colorado even though we are getting the heat. So be kind to your spouses and your fathers today. Embrace the celebration. Love to All!

Do We Change for the Better as We Age?

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I’d like to think that for every year we are alive on this planet, we all become the wise person that we have looked up to and attempted to emulate over our elder years. I’d like to think that we all grow and begin to see the world from a better perspective. I’d like to think that we become more of a human being, like the wise grandfather elder spoke about in the old movie, Little Big Man. (A must-see movie! Add it to your bucket list!)

Grandfather, Old Lodge Skins spoke to his son, Jack Crabb—or Little Big Man, about the war with white men. Little Big Man asked if Grandfather—Old Lodge Skins, hated the white man now (after warring with people like General Custer and his army).
“Jack Crabb: Do you hate them? Do you hate the White man now?
Old Lodge Skins: Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity of it? Because the human beings, my son, they believe everything is alive. Not only man and animals. But also water, earth, stone. And also the things from them… like that hair. The man from whom this hair came, he’s bald on the other side, because I now own his scalp! That is the way things are. But the white man, they believe EVERYTHING is dead. Stone, earth, animals. And people! Even their own people! If things keep trying to live, white man will rub them out. That is the difference.”

After the war scene, Jack spoke with his grandfather once again about death and the fate of Human Beings (what his grandfather called his people):
“Jack Crabb: Grandfather, I am glad to see you.
Old Lodge Skins: Glad to see you too, my son. My heart soars like a hawk. Do you want to eat? I won’t eat with you because I’m gonna’ die soon.
Jack Crabb: Die, grandfather?
Old Lodge Skins: Yes, my son. I want to die in my own land, where Human Beings are buried in the sky.
Jack Crabb: Well, why do you want to die, grandfather?
Old Lodge Skins: Because there is no other way to deal with the White Man, my son. Whatever else you can say about them, it must be admitted: you cannot get rid of them.
Jack Crabb: No, I suppose not, grandfather.
Old Lodge Skins: There is an endless supply of White Man. But there always has been a limited number of Human Beings. We won today… we won’t win tomorrow.”

The message for me was clear: There are so many of us that don’t care about all the little things and the original people on earth that have been here long before we got here. There are many things we need to learn to survive in a world where evil people get the upper hand. And there are many things that are going to die and disappear in our lifetime, no matter what we do, because there are so many people who don’t want to respect the wise elders, or become one and do the right thing. All I am saying tonight to everyone who are still drinking the Kool-Aid:
Just….. Be better!

I send out love and happiness to all those who still care to do the right thing. And for those who don’t, Just Be Better!

We Are All Superstitious Beings

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Why do we create rituals? is it something that will help us succeed, or to ward off evil? Why do we insist that the various versions of a supreme being is the answer to everything? Is it because we just want to feel in control over everything in our lives? I have been contemplating for a long time the dilemma of believing in something that just isn’t real. I have been ruminating about these beliefs that people (and large organizations) want to enforce on all others, something that just makes most of our lives worse, not better.

I feel especially concerned when I am confronted by people that embrace a crazy rigid belief system that their ancestors and families passed down and enforced on them as children and insist on changing another person’s life choices to fit into what they think is right for you.

In his book All the Wild that Remains, David Gessner stated that his friend, University of Colorado professor, Dr. Reg Saner (1928-2021), considered himself a realist, not a romantic. Dr. Saner once wrote in an essay, “God is the single worst idea human beings ever had.” And he told Gessner in an interview: “Christians have often behaved worse than Murder Incorporated.”

And, Woody Allen once said about God: “If there is one, he’s a terrific underachiever.”

Religion in many derivations has been around a long time, and as civilization evolved, so did its grip on humans. Even when unknown and outrageous statements made people afraid, the people still believed. Powerful religious wars broke out and people of all shapes, colors, and beliefs, were tortured, because they didn’t believe in whatever the people in power believed and refused to bow down to the ones in control. The kings and oligarchs, with the help of powerful churches, wanted power and political advantage over the masses. So what better way to create mythic heroes who did battle for a god, slaying those who would disagree and fight back for their values and rights. Oppression has never worked.

According to Wikipedia, the word superstition is used to refer to a religion not practiced by the majority of a given society regardless of whether the prevailing religion contains alleged superstitions or to all religions. Definitions of the term vary, but they commonly describe superstitions as irrational beliefs at odds with scientific knowledge of the world.

In a 2025 PsychMechanics article, the author stated that: “Once a superstition gets planted into a person’s mind, he collects ‘proofs’ to bolster his belief. Unless he questions his superstitions or is forced to question them, he may carry them in his psyche all his life.”  https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-have-superstitious-beliefs/

In a 2024 study published by Scientific American, it was suggested “…that very few people show a complete lack of superstitious beliefs or practices. So why do we remain superstitious, even though it is clearly irrational and could lead us astray? It turns out superstitions may provide certain psychological benefits.” We used these beliefs as defense mechanisms and they are a self-serving bias. We believe it gives us control over the unknown.

So my thoughts are this: Tradition and traditional values aren’t necessarily a good thing. We should learn from our past mistakes and evolve as a people and create a more civil society, where everyone’s opinions and point of view matters. We should stop the hate. We should hold our judgement of others because their values differ from ours. We should strive to create a society where there is not just one big guy in the sky (or office) and embrace that everyone is different. When our defense mechanisms take over, we tend to lash out to those that are different from us. We take the gospel of a religious bible too literally, and it has been used to justify many evil doings. It is simply a collection of myths and tales, just like any other book, written over centuries where life evolved and changed.

And we still haven’t learned that everyone is different from us. We are unique individuals and should be treated fairly no matter what another person believes. Sometimes, we just have to understand that oppression is prevalent in our society today. It would be great if we had folks like the ones on the TV show Leverage who can right the wrongs and the benefactor always wins. Alas, most things in the real world do not wrap up neat and tidy like an hour-long TV show.

So, having said all that, I want to get to the meat of the matter. I just wanted to state that for all of these reasons given, that’s why prayer doesn’t work. It is superstition with a set of rules. I know it makes you feel better if you tell me “I’ll pray for you,” but that is not the answer to the worlds’ ills. Your selfless actions and the sciences are the answers to help anyone in need, not prayer. A make-believe external all-knowing being does not save or cause things to happen. You as a human being, cause things to happen, whether through your actions or in-actions. If you can embrace and understand this, you are a better person for it, and you will do the right thing to help others who need help without the attachment or a fake being.

I know I will make a lot of you folks unhappy with this post, but all I am asking in this blog post is for you to stop praying for me, stop the prayer hand emojis, and stop quoting things from your bible to me. It makes you happy because you want everyone to comply with your beliefs. But it becomes an extremely uncomfortable conversation if I defend my position to you because you don’t want to listen to another person’s point of view. You want me to believe what you believe and I simply don’t and never will. It is my right and privilege to be the person I am trying to be.

Each time I encounter these conversations, I take great steps to let you be who you are, but you don’t have the courtesy to do the same. So, just stop before you start. Thank you.

I love you, faults, and all, but let’s just let everyone be themselves every day that we live!

Waiting to “Exhail”!

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Most of the weeds are pulled, the bushes are planted, the seeds are emerging from the raised bed soil, and the zucchini and squash are in the ground! I am sending out an enormous THANK YOU across the UNIVERSE to my husband who has helped me through injury and my aging body. I am grateful every day you are alive and well, even though being a cancer survivor is rough on your body. We are both going through a lot of exhaustion and exhaling to master daily chores, especially those that I have tried to keep up with every day. I appreciate you stepping up this summer for all the laborious tasks that I am not able to do right now. We are, after all pretty good together when we decide it’s worth doing and I’m not too bossy (okay, maybe I’m still a little bossy!)

I know non-gardeners think we are nutty people—always wanting to get our hands dirty, moving rocks around, taking away rock fill, putting rock fill back in, constantly weeding, fighting massive thunderstorms, flinching when we get hail as big as golf balls, shooing away literally tame rabbits that are trying to eat everything, and bobcats in the backyard-hopefully eating some of the rabbits! But in reality, we gardeners are generally trying to make a wonderland out of the clay soil and our crazy weather out here.

At the end of summer, and after I put the yard tasks behind me, I am sad that winter is coming. I clean up, put up the tools, and then go inside. I get antsy around April (false spring out here!) and start planting seedlings in the sun room. Unfortunately, the sun room isn’t heated and so I have to use space heaters when it gets down in the 20s and 30s at night. But, voila! Real spring happens, albeit late this year, and I can do it all again. Every year is different and I focus on different areas of the yard. Last year, there was the gazebo build, and this year it has been major cleanups, and planting around the gazebo. Who knows where I will venture next year? I am grateful for my farming father, who taught me a thing or two about the land. I am grateful for my ex-neighbor who was a Master Gardner who moved away 7 years ago to lush North Carolina, but still keeps in touch and talks about what we each have done in our yards. And long story short, I am grateful to be alive, semi-healthy, and loving my wonderful spouse for all of his help.

So whether you are waiting to exhale or waiting for the hail I hope you all live in that moment before any negative disasters that may come your way. Focus on the now and the positive. Love the beautiful green things you have planted and relish the promise of food before fall! Love tonight to all and be at peace with yourself for a little while!

Riding the Biggest Wave

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It’s almost summertime and images of those amazing surfers riding the big waves always make me dream of Hawaii. Although I am not a surfer I loved watching the locals master the biggest waves I’ve ever seen. Even the littlest kids were better than I could expect to be, but they get to go out every day and practice since they lived there. When there was a surge, school would let out and they were there on top of those crazy waves. Their skill set is something that we could all learn from to plow through all of the discontent and uncertainties in our lives.

Surf culture dates back at least 1500 years. I always thought those free-spirited folks had such a carefree life, with a knowing that it could end at any moment in a rush of turbulent water. There was fear, but they continued to conquer the inevitable. It is a culture of human versus water, as well as human versus other humans. There was always strife on who would dictate the local areas, warding off all those they didn’t consider royalty or a different tribe. And yet, their culture created a community that helped each other, from the food they ate to the surfboards they would make. The best surf spots were guarded secrets to the outsiders and they taught each other how to pick the right wave for the ride. They had mad skills in learning how to stay on top.

Each day so many of us choose to ride the wave that has been given to us and yet we could be that rogue warrior that goes off on their own despite the risks. We could learn from this counterculture by riding the wave that helps us postulate carefully about the facts that are given us. We can be the people who love and respect each other and do not blame everything on poor people. We can decide that everyone deserves a chance at the table, no matter who they are. We can be the people who accept differences and not worry about where we came from. We can be the people that takes care of each other. We can stop comparing ourselves to those who have more money. They will be who they will be, and we can’t change them. We are on a biological clock and human life is limited. So, why don’t we live our lives helping others instead of hoarding and having the mentality of I got mine and I’m gonna keep it? Live a comfortable life as you age, but help those in need with your personal wealth. Stop worrying about everything else, and turn off the TV and your phones for a little while each day. We can’t keep money and treasures after we die, no matter what the bazillionaires believe. We don’t need more to be happy. And just like the oceans, life is full of differences and mysterious beings. Let’s embrace them all and have some fun doing what we love with what we learn every day.

Love to all on this crazy, rainy night!

Angry and Out of Control

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Or: The only perfect people are in the cemetery.
“The graveyards are full of indispensable [people].”—Charles de Gaulle

The other day, I talked to my friend who had a visit from her grandson’s wife and great-granddaughter. The young one was so out of control, talking back to her mother that my friend became upset. The kiddo kept saying she didn’t have to apologize or do anything they told her to do. She’s 9 and already at that teenager angst! My friend was very upset and got angry with her. She caught up with her, grabbed her up and told her under no circumstances was that behavior allowed because this was her house. My friend sent her out of the room and she slunk back in later, never really apologizing to her mother. It was sad to hear that. My questions about this ridiculous behavior are: “Were we all like that at that age or were we older when teenage angst overtook us?” And “Why aren’t we teaching these kids to be humble when they are in the wrong?” And one more: “Is it a discipline issue or is it a sign of the times?

Children go through all kinds of crazy emotions and love you and hate you at the same time. It’s up to you as a parent and grandparent to weather all the storms, and try to make the winds of change flow over you instead of right at you. If we get angry with our children we’ve proved their point. So the hardest thing to master as a parent, grandparent, or great-grandparent is this: Don’t get angry, just let them fume in another room. Then, re-visit them when they’ve thought about it. They will be pre-teens and teenagers – that is a human’s life cycle.

Adulting is hard work but you have to teach your children how to get there and accept responsibility for themselves, the good and the bad. Don’t enable them by letting them blame you for all their woes. Parents aren’t perfect, but they try to do the best they can with the knowledge that have been given or have learned themselves. If we have taught our children well, they will pass on that knowledge to their children. It’s hard, but we have to realize that when children find that they can punch your buttons and you give them ammunition, you allow them to place the burden on you as the parent. You have to be brave and let them make mistakes, hopefully, not life-threatening, by telling them what’s inappropriate. It is up to the child to learn over and over again how to make their life better and not blame their parents and grandparents. Give them the foundation, but let them go when they need to be on their own. Be there when they need you the most. But also, don’t expect a child to change if they haven’t had the background of loving parents who don’t teach them how to deal with the frustrations of life. You learn from each other, but you hope they learn to be a better person than you are. That is the goal of parenting.

In his book, All the Wild That Remains, David Gessner stated that personalities develop through a dose of nurture and a dash of nature. Gessner wrote of the life of Edward Abbey and Wallace Stegner. They had hard childhoods, but persevered and became better human beings as a result. Gessner stated that Stegner believed that individuals have a hand in their own fashioning. “He held onto this conviction his entire life, frequently using what would come to seem dated words like will and determination.” They overcame the hardships of their childhood.

Today, we look at the children who are acting out in public to those who didn’t harm them, and it embarrasses many of us. Perhaps they were more privileged and didn’t get the nurturing they needed as children. Perhaps getting likes solves their need to be loved. We just have to keep explaining to them that all of that is not real. It’s more important to make changes in writing to those in charge. Tiny little cogs in local government can’t solve everything, but if enough people write and attend local meetings, things can change for their neighborhoods. Shouting and filming local police and council members doesn’t help. Persuasion using the written word and great public speaking will change things. Think about it: Does shoving a camera into someone’s face change anything? Sure, you might make them uncomfortable for the moment, and you might even get arrested. But think about all of the other people watching what you are filming. Think about how you are making them uncomfortable. And they may support that opposition because of your actions. Those that vote see your behavior as an attack on an individual (even if they are truly horrible to their constituents). You may not like those buffoons who are spewing information that has no basis in fact because they are following the party line and that guy in office, but have you really made a change in that person? Only reading what is being done, fact checking information that is being given to you on reliable sources, and voting for someone who cares about all people will create a wind of change. So young people, stop sitting on the sidelines or filming stupid acts! Get out there and vote and create relationships with a new driving force! Enough said.

“Order is the dream of man, but chaos is the law of nature.”—Henry James

I love you all and try to flow like me with the winds of change every day that you are alive!

I Yam What I Yam

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Or: You Cannot Keep Ignoring the Truth
Popeye said it so succinctly that we are who we are no matter what others think of us. With all the Pride parades and parties coming up, I want to return to a subject that the rednecks (male and female alike) of the world have latched onto because of that guy in office. Why are you so worried about others whose identity doesn’t match up to what your expectations are? Why are you afraid that others who can be incredible and yet different from your perception of reality?

And you women out there who are so loud and obnoxious and sooooo terribly wrong in these matters, ask yourself: Why do you fall into line because a ridiculous man is telling you what you think and what you should do? Are you that privileged that you don’t see the pain of others when you belittle those who are unique in their own ways? Why are you threatened by this?

Blaming DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) on everything that is happening is just wrong. We had come a long way before the buffoon started telling us what to think. Women, get it together and change this! Teach your children (especially your male children) to respect women and diverse people. Stop agreeing with this nonsense and support your community – those who are alike and different that you. DEI isn’t a bad word. It promotes:

  • Educator Growth: Professional Development, Training, Hiring Practices.
  • Classroom and Climate: Culturally Responsive and Inclusive Practices and Curriculum.
  • Student Belonging: Identity, Empathy, Inclusion.
  • Community Cohesion: Parent/Guardian Education and Involvement, Town Partnerships.

I grew up in an era where if you weren’t a white Anglo-Saxon male, your voice meant nothing. Have we completely returned to this way of thinking? And, if so Why? Everyone is unique and have made it so far in this world. Hating someone for being of a different race, a different gender, for what they believe, or even how they dress and identify is just wrong. We have to return to loving kindness for all and if that is what it means to be woke, then count me in!

“Everyone deserves to live free from hate, fear, and violence. We cannot free ourselves from hate if we don’t identify and acknowledge it when it happens. What is typically included in ongoing reporting is just as important as what is left out – the voices of individuals who experienced incidents of hate.” AND:
“Today’s political climate is highly charged. From white supremacist and anti-government movements coalescing and moving more into the political mainstream, to conspiracy theories circulating online, to the amplification of hate by public officials. We refuse to let the loud volume of a few define us.” https://civilrights.org/value/fighting-hate-bias/#

For more information on this organization and what else you can do see:
https://civilrights.org/blog/

So all I am saying is stop the patter of malcontent and learn to accept that not everyone is like you. Embrace all those who differ from you, even if you don’t always agree with them. Make life a little easier for yourself if you choose your battles and words with others.

Get outside, enjoy the beautiful days, and have a heart full of love tonight! Love to all who are trying to do their part every day they live!

Writers are Brave

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Or: New thoughts are bold and scary. Anne Lamott once said about her father: “Writing taught my father to pay attention; my father in turn taught other people to pay attention and then to write down their thoughts and observations.” Lamott’s father was a writer, and had students that were inmates in San Quenton prison who took part in a  creative-writing program. He taught his students and his daughter by example. He asked his students to put a little bit down on paper every day, and to constantly read great books (and poetry).

I know how important math and sciences are and am grateful for the education my child and I have had in our lives. But sometimes I think society has forgotten the fact that creativity in the form of writing and reading has helped us in the past. I wonder if the reason that we don’t encourage others to engage in the simple act of reading is because the people around us begin to change. They expand their thinking because they are more enlightened on a subject and aren’t afraid to discuss it. A subject may change their lives and they may drift away from you because you may not want to follow the thread of this new idea and life in general.

If we don’t read, we don’t want others in our inner circle to change. We are stuck in some reality that actually doesn’t work but if others leave us we feel threatened by them. Reading (and writing) helps us evolve and become who we are today.

Bold stories make us ponder all of the history writers have written about, and philosophize about deep subjects which leads us to become incredible critical thinkers. When young people tell me they don’t like to read, I am saddened to think how much they have missed in their lives. I am saddened to think of all the incredible stories that have been told in the past and are currently being told today. They are missing out on how humans have evolved (and devolved of late) from past understandings of how the world and society as a whole works.

I was really dismayed when I looked at what all of us, especially women, have gone through to be allowed to learn and especially ponder life’s greatest mysteries by asking intelligent questions. Reading and writing have been essential in my life and I hope I have passed on these life-changing thoughts to my child. I hope to pass on the importance of turning off that constant scrolling and pick up a book (or audiobook) to discover life’s mysteries both past and present. Be a brave reader and get curious!

Here’s a kicker from my past:  My mother would constantly tell me not to read under the covers with a flashlight late at night because it would ruin my eyes. And when I said I wanted to emulate Madame Curie, who worked through a problem night and day and didn’t even take a bath, she stated, “Well, you have to bathe!” And I muttered under my breath, as all teenagers do, “Wow! That’s what you got out of that?”

And finally, to a quote Emily Dickinson: “Women were not encouraged to read because men feared it would joggle their minds.”

I encourage everyone to read my favorite book on writing of all times to gain perspective on us writers:   Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott

I love you all and hope you are having fun creating a magnificent garden in your back yard. Summer is upon us!