Expectations and Control

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I have been pondering of late why we are so stressed out that we can’t even think and do the simplest of tasks. I think the negative energy surrounding us is so strong that we feel like we are out of control of our everyday lives. We cope by wanting to place our burden onto someone else for a moment. We don’t want to resolve our own problems yet we get upset with others when we put it on them and it doesn’t turn out the way we think it should. Our cognitive dissonance kicks in. Our mind spirals out of control. We are thinking that we both love the person trying to help us, and hate them for coming up with a solution at the same time. It is hard to understand that we are thankful that they tried to help us, but hate them because it wasn’t the solution we were hoping or looking for to solve the problem, and, as a result, we get angry and disappointed.

Our expectations of everything getting better, when a lot of things are getting worse, make us on edge and we don’t know what to expect. And it doesn’t help that the media is keeping it out there. We start to hate the people and events that don’t fit into our world, and start agreeing with the most egregious acts. We want to believe that everything is wonderful for us and all that is out there is affecting everyone else, not us. Well, I’m here to tell you, bad things are happening to EVERYONE. It’s how we deal with our daily lives and expectations that makes us survive in an unpleasant situation. It’s how we deal with others and treat them that makes us human beings and members of a society that only we can make better.

So here is my thought for today. Things in your bubble can be better if you treat others the way you want to be treated. Things in your bubble will get better if you take a break from the doomsday news and greet someone with love and kindness each day. Things in your bubble will get better if you believe you are in control of your own bubble and expect greatness of yourself. Be brave!

Finally, here are a few things I want to pass on to you after this crazy week I had:

  • I know you’re busy, but take some time to read the instructions. Find out why something isn’t working to your satisfaction.
  • Don’t blame the person on the phone.
  • You are expected to be an adult and take responsibility for researching the problem. The person you have called to fix a problem can help you, but it is ultimately your responsibility to understand why the problem exists and how to fix it in the future.
  • Slow down and take a breath before speaking.
  • Follow along when someone is trying to tell you something.
  • Contrary to popular belief the world doesn’t revolve around you!
  • We can get through it together. We all have to work together to fix any problem. It will take time. And remember, there is only so much time in a workday. There is never enough workers, and there are lots of jobs to do in a day!

Finally, I know I am prone to this, but I believe that we cannot isolate ourselves in a cocoon while all this is going on. Sure, we can turn off the news, but the buzz will always be around us. So here’s a thought: Take one hour for yourself, and take one hour for someone else each day that you live on this plane of existence.
For yourself, take a walk with your dog, or just by yourself. Go out and weed (I know! I know! But it really is fulfilling!) In a few weeks, plant your garden. Go swim and sing in the lap lane! Put your headphones on and get on the treadmill! Watch the movie A Complete Unknown and be taken back in time.

For others, walk and talk with them and listen to what they have to say. Be there in person and on the phone and in the present moment to help someone solve a problem. Try not to get frustrated with them because they are frustrated. And, read a wonderful tale of love and triumph. Purchase and read How We Learn to Be Brave by Mariann Edgar Budde and “…be responsible for your rose [from Le Petit Prince]…[and] “…Be a person upon whom others [can] depend and relish the days when nothing important seems to be happening….”

I love you all and I trying to live in the present moment every day even when it is hard. I ask that you to do the same!

May the 4th be with you!!!

We Cannot All Be In Charge

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Or: It’s Okay to have Some Ground Rules of Conduct and Etiquette!
I have been pondering this of late because I am involved in a few volunteer groups now. I didn’t volunteer much when I was working full-time and now that I have actually gone back to work (again) part-time, I want to enjoy the experience of my volunteer group. For example, I want to make a difference in my own little way by singing to those in memory care. They seem to enjoy it and it is a good learning experience for me. But sometimes the group is in discord and I don’t like to be there when there is so much drama. So, I have a few things to say about people who cause chaos without them even thinking about it:

Sometimes it’s okay to say what you need to say, but sometimes it’s okay to just sit and listen. If you want to be a leader of the group, I suggest you form your own group. If you don’t want to be the leader, then shut up and listen to the leader. This needs to be stated because some people just don’t get it, no matter how many times others tell them. It is a process to learn how to be a part of a group. And as we age, we forget the rules because we have been making the rules up as we go for a long time.

Having said all that, there should be a handout given when a new person joins the group. It should be a documented set of rules, regulations, or simply a statement of conduct and etiquette regarding how you participate in said group. And everyone should agree to follow said rules and/or statements by signing them, just like we all did in middle and high school.

Group dynamics can make or break a group. We can all get in the flow of things and make a cohesive effort to create something wonderful, or we can stay in our teeny tiny world and sit out. I think it’s easier to cooperate with a group I have joined and help out with the skills I have. I don’t need to belittle others so I feel better. For further information about group dynamics, go to: https://psychology.tips/group-dynamics/

I also trust that the group I join will all be amazing with great leadership in charge. There are many leadership styles, and sometimes I don’t always agree with what is being presented to me at the time, but I try to go with the flow and learn from the experience. There is a great article regarding leadership that I recommend you read:
https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/characteristics-good-leader/

We are all powerful and accomplished individuals. And yet sometimes we just have to listen and meld with the group. Sometimes a leader yells at you because you aren’t listening. I am sure this happened to you many times in the past and you got through it. So I just want to say something out loud in my own way to that new unhappy person in our choir: Just Chill! We are all in this together and just because you want things your way because you’re new and came from another place that did things differently, you are not in charge of what we do. The group doesn’t have to listen to your needs. We listen to our Director. She makes us happy to sing together and that’s what it is all about, SINGING TOGETHER the best way we know, under the guidance of the leader of the pack.

I am in charge of my own life, but life has a way of getting in the way of things no matter how hard I plan ahead and how hard I want things to always go my own way. And, although I refuse to stop leaping into the unknown, and refuse to go quietly into the night when it is my time, I am prepared to join with others make something work and sing the songs of life and love.

I recommend that we all can become part of the pack if we want to participate together in something wonderful. Lightening the load of one person makes it easier. Not everyone can be in charge, but we can all work together to make magic happen and things flow smoothly. We can  make beautiful music as a group. We can each take on a task that helps everyone. Divide up the duties to make it easier on any leader. I just think everyone needs to evaluate a group before they join. And if a group you are in doesn’t work for you, that’s okay, too. You just need to decide to leave and Go Your Own Way! Fleetwood Mac, Go Your Own Way

I love you all tonight and hope you are enjoying the garden as much as I am! Stop a moment and smell the flowers, and get ready for planting season!

Corporate America Needs to WAKE UP!

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Or: Why is Corporate America so Ridiculously Stupid?
I have been pondering all of the cutbacks happening right now that affect celebrations of our heritage. People who have never been oppressed (generally, white people) and those that are in power say DEI is discriminatory. BIPOC people say it’s about inclusion of everyone and recognizing that all people aren’t white. I am in agreement with the BIPOC folks. We have never discriminated against the majority of white folks getting a job. Everyone else has to fight every step of the way to make others see beyond the differences. They have to fight their way into the job market, or housing, or other essentials necessary to live in our society.

Cutting back and refusing to give to endeavors that celebrate life and people in all of their colorful display is shameful. Traditional events are still ongoing, and are getting funded from corporations, so why do the people with money think it’s bad news to give funding to events like Juneteenth or Pride festivals? I am asking those who have all the purse strings right now to WAKE UP!

I am asking all citizens to stop being afraid of having conversations regarding how corporations are spending their money. And I am asking corporate CEOs to stop being afraid of those in power (that guy in office) who says it’s not cool to help others who have differences than you, particularly their heritage or lifestyle. Remember that no one who has immigrated to North America at any time was a pure white person. We all have bits and pieces of everything inside and that’s what makes us a great person, and an even better nation! We all have to figure out this fear inside that makes us pull back from our differences. We all have to trust in that Golden Rule and decide that this simple way of living will make you a better person. Here are a few quotes that might help you recognize this:

  • “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” ~ John Wesley
  • “Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.” ~ Barbara Bush
  • “The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life.” ~ Henry Ford
  • “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ~ Maya Angelou
  • “It is from the numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” ~ Robert Kennedy
    https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/giving-to-others.html

We need to have conversations about this and other subjects regarding what is right regarding the treatment of others in this world.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A good conversation is not a group of people making a series of statements at [emphasis mine] each other….A good conversation is an act of joint exploration….A good conversation sparks you to have thoughts you never had before.”

We all think we are better than others at communicating but we haven’t really been taught how to have real two-way conversations. It is a difficult concept to master and we need to work at being better at listening. We all have something to say on every subject but sometimes it’s okay to get beyond our self-inhibitions and actively participate equally. We must acknowledge the other person in the conversation with respect, but a shouting match is not communicating with each other. Try to overcome what triggers your feelings and think about what is being said by the other person.

We can overcome anything if we reach consensus at what is being said and done in this world. I will never back down on my belief in equality, equity, and inclusion. It’s time to start the conversation once again and unite as a people, defying those in power who will not rise above the madness. And, once again, give a little bit of your time and money to those who participate in the worldwide celebrations of life.

Love to all and enjoy the springtime, including all of us weeds!

Observations on Aging and the Unobtainable

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Or: I’m Allergic to Botox! Having never been in the Most Beautiful Girl in the Room Club, I don’t understand why so many of us women are obsessed with doing everything in their power to look young and beautiful forever. And then, make it our objective to diminish and pick apart the flaws of those who are noticed by a different sex more than we are. Why do we resent this acknowledgement of others’ beauty? Why don’t we women stick together and rally for all of our outer and inner beauty as well as all of our accomplishments? Why do we gang up on those that are either less beautiful, or so beautiful that others turn their attention to them? Why can’t we be happy with who we are at any given moment?

I recently read a series called The Wilder Widows by Katherine Hastings (who is neither a senior nor a widow, by the way). It was a nice light read and allowed me a minute to laugh at these senior and widowed ladies’ adventures and discoveries of who they had become. One of the widows that I found particularly discouraging about her thoughts of what she felt she had to be, and what her life choices were. She believed that she didn’t deserve unconditional love. The character grew up in a poor household and didn’t have anything. She was belittled for her long legs and looks when she was a child and swore she would rise above it all. She became a trophy wife and eventually a Las Vegas dancer. Each year it got harder and harder to keep up with the younger generation and the beauty regimens that include, Botox, or facelifts had begun to fail her. When her husband died, she inherited his wealth and status. She continued to be the life of the party and had many sexual encounters with younger and younger men. But, she hadn’t yet found true love (if there is such a thing). When she finally decided (with the help of her friends) that she could take a chance on a person she loved, she had a hard time with showing him the real person underneath all the spackle. But, like any true love story, it all worked out in the end. She told him her real age, and what was happening to her body, and he took her into his arms and said he loved her and wanted to grow old with her no matter what.

We all obsess over what we should feel and look like. Although the media has gotten better at portraying beauty and joie de vivre in women of all shapes and sizes, there are so many of us that still feel the pain of being the weird, nerdy shy kid (me), or that tall skinny kid (my sister), or that really poor kid, or that fat kid down the street that everyone teased, or that kid who dressed funny because they didn’t identify as a male or female. We didn’t fit into the perceived mold, and felt estranged of what a kid should be (the portrayal of what was a normal kid) at that time.

We all age differently and we have to try and accept where we are at any time in our lives. Sure I can’t keep up with the twenty-somethings, but that doesn’t stop me from exercising. Sure I don’t look like what I did in my twenties, but I am happy where I am at this time in my life. I stopped obsessing on finding just the right outfit and wear what I want. Now, if I could only find the right shoes to make my feet happy, I would be in heaven on earth!

Aging can enlighten us, or inhibit us. If we use it as an excuse because we are afraid to try something new, we miss out. If we fear of being left alone, because our spouse might go before us, we need to embrace the fact that one of us will probably die before the other and prepare ourselves for embracing some alone time. If we have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) we need to do all the things that we want to do together while we are alive. A friend of mine who became a doctor once said to me: “Currently, there is no cure for aging.” While that is partially true, we should think about the concept that aging does not need a cure because it is not a disease. We have to take that personal responsibility that we will change as we age, and that’s okay. We can focus on what is important at any given time and save the rest for a later date. If our skin gets dry, we use lotion. If we want to keep our hair gray, that’s okay, but a little color can go a long way. If our body hurts more than when we were young, we just do something different. It’s okay to slow down and walk, instead of run. It’s okay to take a day off and rest. And, if we forget names, we keep a journal and/or make lists of things that are important to us. We can take steps to enjoy all the times in our lives. I plan on being that 130-year-old grandma who has a whoop-it-up dance party to celebrate my life. More information on age and aging and other subjects on how to live a great life can be found in my book Discover the Life You Want to Live.

What we look out on the outside doesn’t define who we are on the inside. Everything we do in life and our actions in the world is a part of who we are at any time in our lives. To some women, image is everything. Accepting ourselves the way we are at any given moment is the most important thing we can achieve in life.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A person is a point of view [emphasis mine].” He said that “Your mind creates a world, with beauty and ugliness…and you live within that construction….” We all have our perception of beauty and staying young. We can embrace the world at any time if we support each other and respect where we are at any given moment.

I love you all tonight and hope you are having a wonderful night wherever you may be (in time and space!)

Thoughts from the Past and the Greening of America

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Why did my grandmother and aunts sweep the yard and scrape away all of the grass growing there under the huge oak tree? Was it because they were afraid of snakes biting the children or chickens? Was it a form of pest control? Was it to prevent fires? According to southern lore, this was a practice that goes back to the African people, and later passed onto other white farmers. We played and had picnics in the front yard and under that giant beautiful tree for years as children and didn’t think anything of it.

Why Did They Sweep Their Yards?

https://www.hometalk.com/diy/clean/outdoor/q-southern-traditions-why-did-my-grandmas-sweep-their-yards-28112586

And, then came the invention of the riding lawnmower. My father and mother became the Forrest Gump look-alikes, mowing those expansive lawns and fields with their personal lawn mowers. It became a sea of green surrounding our house. They didn’t have to water like we do. My mother became obsessed with lawns, while my father was still the gardener with his flowers and vegetable gardens. Mowing was never a fun job for us kids (push mowers, later gasoline driven, but not automatic, and not riding mowers like my mother had). So, I became more enamored of the gardens.

Why do we fixate on lush green lawns with no weeds? Is a perfectly manicured lawn a reflection of who we are in society and in the universe? Are we trying to compete and/or become royalty? If you don’t love to get your hands in the dirt, and you can’t afford to hire anyone, like the privileged few, the solution is to take a few minutes each day after work, and work on a little piece of your land. Break up your yard in sections, and plant beautiful bushes and flowers. Mulch like crazy and enjoy your labor. I have divided up my yard into sections and each day during the growing season, I take one section a week. It doesn’t have to be an amazing English Garden like you see on the East coast, or in the old kids’ books. We don’t have the climate for that out in the southwest. Plant what works out here. Then, sit with it on your back patio, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. I can be in my happy peaceful place, and sip on a cool drink when the work is done. I know people don’t enjoy outside work as much as I do, but it is such an accomplishment to see living things grow and thrive in our harsh climate.

It is well-known that pesticides aren’t good for people or the environment so I have taken the higher road and not used them. And, yes, the dandelions and thistle bloom like crazy and look hideous in some peoples’ eyes, but I pull out the ones that are in my mulched gardens and don’t worry as much about the lawn. Green is green where green will grow out here.

When the forsythia and lilacs bloom each spring, I think of my father and his amazing green thumb. I don’t have expansive green lawns (and the water to support them) but my plants survive and burst in color each year, I think of him every spring. I was able to enjoy their beauty for a little while this spring before the snow and wind blew off the flowers. And though I hate the crab apples, for a little while, they are beautiful each spring so I won’t cut them down.

So don’t worry about what the other neighbors’ yards look like and don’t try to spray away the weeds and have a perfect lawn. Enjoy the imperfections in your yard as you would in life. Enjoy each other as individuals and don’t compete with something that is not real.

I love you all equally with all of your imperfections. Have an awesome weekend!

A Guide to Adulting: Building Patience and Managing Bills

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The week started out with a woman shouting into my ear on the telephone, causing me to pull the headset off. I was trying to figure out what she wanted. I process out loud, so I’m sure she just thought if she said it louder I could understand her. I eventually got her to stop shouting and figured out who she needed to talk to, but WOW! They heard her in the other room of my office! As I have stated so many times before on this blog as well as in real life, “People, just take a breath, and wait a few minutes!” Have a little respect for those on the other end of the conversation and give us a second to process what you need to know.

I ponder every day about what the underlying factor of our impatience and discontent with the universe is right now. I understand there are too many negative thoughts and actions that are occurring in our world out there, and there is not much we can do about all of them, all at once. But I also understand that anything worth doing takes patience and we can get there one task at a time if we just try.

According to Psychology Today:
“The word impatience is “im” + “patience,” which, on its face, means “a lack of patience.” Patience seems like a substantial thing—a specific mental process. By contrast, impatience is thought to be nothing but a lack of patience. But this gets things backwards: Impatience, it turns out, is a very particular mental and physical process that gets triggered under specific circumstances, and which motivates specific kinds of decisive action. “Patience” is really the shadow term, signifying a lack of impatience.”

It’s important to understand the “seven laws of impatience.” If we go through the steps before we ask someone else help us figure out our problem, we might get there without shouting the poor person on the receiving end.

  1. Impatience is not a lack of patience.
  2. Impatience is triggered when we have a goal, and realize it’s going to cost us more than we thought to reach it.
  3. Impatience motivates us to reduce the costs of reaching our goal, or to switch goals.
  4. Impatience and indignation are a potent combination.
  5. We’re more likely to feel impatient when we have more options.
  6. Impatience can cost us.
  7. Impatience can benefit us.

And as a final note, here are the questions that appeared in the article that we should attempt to answer before we cause grief in others who are trying to help us:

  1. “What is my goal?
  2. What did I think it was going to cost to reach this goal?
  3. What are the additional costs I’m now aware of?
  4. Am I blaming others for these extra costs?
  5. Is it truly their fault?
  6. Is it worth taking on even more costs just to teach them a lesson?
  7. Do I have too many options?
  8. Should I find a way to limit my exposure to new options?
  9. Are there ways to reduce the costs of reaching this goal?
  10. Is it time to abandon this goal?”

Put simply: “Knowledge is power.” The more often you work out a problem and get your own solution, before asking for help, the more tasks you will be able to complete by yourself. You are smarter than you think and mastering something makes you feel good inside as well as accomplished! For more information, go to this article:
7 Laws of Impatience

The second part of this blog is about understanding your spending and how to pay your bills on time every month. I know that websites are hard to navigate sometime, and government systems are old, cranky, clunky and in dire need of renovation, but it doesn’t seem that hard to navigate if you read the instructions a few times before giving up.

It is my hope that all parents teach their children how to do adulting before they move out of the nest. There should be a complete manual for change for adulthood that gets handed out to children before they move out of their parents’ home. For example, one item in the book should be this:
The more we procrastinate on paying our bills, the more they add up until we become overwhelmed. And we must realize that there are consequences to not paying a bill – such as not having, electricity, heat, and water. It’s that slap in the face that should give us a wake-up call to this reality. The current situation we are in at this time makes it extremely hard to make ends meet if we are not the wealthy few. But isn’t it better to slow the credit card purchases down, and sacrifice things such as QVC buying, movies, and Door Dash orders before giving up basic needs such as heat, food, and water?

One of the greatest inventions of all times is a spreadsheet. It’s so easy to put one together. Record you expenses in one column and your income in another column. Subtract what you spend from what you make each month. And don’t forget to add a little bit to your savings every paycheck and place that in your expense column. It will add up and you can then treat yourself to something fun at the end of the year! Watch your credit card spending and know your limits. It’s as simple as that. Find a tutor to help you the first time, or go to your bank and ask them for help. I love the folks at my credit union. They helped me when I first started making my own money. I never had a lot of money, but my Dad taught me a lot of things about money and how to stretch a dollar (Okay I know it’s more these days). Even with these volatile  times, we can persevere and take care of our daily living expenses. Don’t panic yet! We can all get through it if we find the patience.

I love you all on this crazy spring night. Snow is coming!

I Don’t Have Time or Energy for Divas

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RAIN! YES! We worked all weekend cleaning up the gardens and watered everything so of course we got rain! But now I am so happy for it and all the better for those wonderful plants! Flowers are blooming and birds are chirping! We went to Home Depot and bought 10 bags of the $2.00 mulch, 2 bags of potting soil, and 10 bags of raised bed soil. Now we wait. I am excited to plant the vegetable garden when the snow is done (always much later out here, usually after Mother’s Day!) Life is a beautiful thing!

But here’s my soul-searching thought for today:
Why do we put up with divas? The term has become more than the original idea of being an incredible female singer (goddess-like) from the 19th century. According to Wikipedia, “Women are often referred to as divas if they are difficult, temperamental and demanding.” The adoring public has now extended this idea to both men and women. Take a look at all of those reality shows that are on TV as well as what is going on in the political world. I am not a fan of anyone acting out like when I flip through shows like the Bachelor, Bachelorette, or the Housewives. Why do people watch these shows? Why do people pay attention to rich, spoiled people or the people wanting to become them? I understand I am not their target audience, but when it moves out into the real world that is disheartening. These people are not roll models we should strive to become in our world.

A little humility goes a long way. Sometimes it’s okay to just blend in the background and listen to what is going on out there. I don’t need adulation or recognition for what I do every day. I am happy with who I am at this time in my life. Every day, I try to convince others that they are beautiful people and should be happy with who they are right now. They don’t have to act out like a child craving attention. They can be happy with themselves if they just take a breath before they spew nonsense or hate others for their differences. We can all become a little happier each day if we embrace humility and love each other. We can blend into the world and live in harmony if we just become the best person we know how to be. We can shine a light on ourselves when we are good at something and respect others for what they are good at. This can easily be done at the same time. Everyone is good at something. Enjoy those things you love, and help others learn something new every day.

Become the person like those Wilder Widows (so much fun to read this series by Katherine Hastings). Check them out and laugh a lot at their shenanigans. Be like them and have your own adventures with your crazy and fun friends.

So, let’s all just try and take a breath of the rain-cleared air tonight and be happy where we are at this moment in our lives. Let’s have adventures in our own way and love and respect those we come into contact with every day. I love you all tonight. Have a great week!

Sometimes You Have to Be Blunt

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When someone isn’t following along or take the time to listen, and believe they understand everything, then do the exact opposite, sometimes you have to take charge and be blunt with the person. It’s a sad day when adults don’t listen to a leader.

Leaders need to teach those involved in a task how to actively listen to what is being said at the time it is being said.

Everyone wants to be in charge but they don’t want to be involved. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for a group, and yet they do the things that make them happy at the expense of a group, and then get offended when you correct them.

Unfortunately, not all of us can be the center of the universe at the same time. Sometimes we have to complete an activity with the group. We have to give up our sense of self for the bigger purpose. Sometimes the outcome doesn’t go our way, but it is the right outcome for the group.

We have to stop talking and listen to what is being said during the instruction time. We have to acknowledge that the leader knows what she is doing and attempt to understand what we all need to do.

A leader who takes charge of a group should be respected and heard. If you disagree with the leader, you should ask for time to speak with them after the class or session, not continue to grumble during the entire session.

A leader shouldn’t give people permission to act out because they want something different. A leader should stick to her principles and believe in herself.

A single person who is disruptive in a group should be given a second chance, but when they won’t change and listen to what a leader has in mind, they should consider going to another group. We all have our place in the universe, and a good leader tries to find a place for everyone in a group, but if it isn’t a good fit, consider that it is time to move on. Don’t be angry about it, just think what is best for you as well as the group.

Each person needs to be stronger and get through hurt feelings because things didn’t go their way. They need to reflect on why something that was said triggered that emotion in them. The past has a way of getting to a person and they respond in a way that can be inappropriate. Respect is earned in any organization. Just because you’ve done something wonderful in the past doesn’t mean you are wonderful in that way today. Sometimes it’s okay to just sit and listen, no matter if you believe your skill-set is greater than others or the leader in the group. Contribute with the group. Don’t act out because you think you know better. The leader is trying to give you something, so try and listen.

Respecting authority is a hard thing for all of us. We grew up in traumatic and weird times, and want to be respected for who we are. Sometimes those in power aren’t good people, and that is the ups and downs of life. But sometimes there are wonderful leaders who come into our lives and we should respect that. Even if we think we know better, we can learn something new from another person every day.

We talk about transparency in government all the time, and yet we don’t understand it or respect those who are trying to be transparent in the private sector. We have been burned by so much misinformation that we currently don’t want to make an attempt to be civil to one another. Our examples of leadership put forth to us today make us upset, so we take it out on those who are trying to help us on a smaller scale.

A leader has to find the balance between full on authoritarian leadership and laissez-faire or permissiveness at all personal costs leadership. My understanding and relationship with leaders has been molded by my time in law enforcement and martial arts. I respect the command structure and try to follow who is leading at the time. I didn’t always agree with the way things were done in the past, but I hold onto the belief of doing something for the greater good. I hold onto the fact that some leaders are great, and some are terrible and should not lead. I learned from the best and tried not to grumble to much with others about the terrible ones.

I also know what I am good at so I take on tasks that others don’t know how to do or don’t want to do. I embrace that task and take responsibility for it. I try not to take on too many jobs at one time. I take one task to heart and do my very best, then move on when I’ve mastered that task.

The best way to help a leader is to help yourself. Choose a task that you are good at, not criticizing the leader for what they didn’t do. If a leader asks you to do something, and you are good at it, do it wholeheartedly, and embrace the challenge. If you are not good at that task, let the leader know and do something else to better the group. Imagine if each one of us took on a task that had a meaningful result. Imagine what we could do as a team if we are all on the same page!

So, embrace your skillset, and move forward. No more grandstanding. No more discord. Get together and be happy with what you are doing at the time. Make a joyful noise and be in harmony with all others and the universe at large. Thanks for listening and I look forward to embarking on the adventure with you!

I love you all and send good vibes out to you tonight.

Life Goes On

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I took a few days to do all those things that needed doing in my life right now. Reflecting on the day-to-day stuff made me take a step back from the anger and madness that is out there. I decided to keep talking about how I can make a difference in the world right now and stop worrying about everything else. I decided to curb my rants for a few days and just enjoy the moment and stop and enjoy the sound of the birds and the bursting new growth outside today.

We can live our lives peacefully if we just try and help one person each day. We can speak our minds if we aren’t angry all the time. We can live a normal live if we can pause and just watch the parade of loons for a little while and not be loony ourselves. It will eventually come back to normal and maybe even get a little better. I still don’t agree with everything that is happening in our nation, but I can only do so much. If each state steps up to the plate and fund the things that need to be funded, maybe federal regulations and dollars won’t be needed in the future. That is quite a pipe dream, I know, but we have to have some perspective. I believe in funding education and environmental protection and can only hope that we don’t completely destroy either of them in our states. (Remember: Hayduke Lives!)

There will always be people like that guy in office who have no clue as to how the rest of the world lives. There will always be those old white guys (and girls) who don’t understand us. There will always be rich people who will never be satisfied with what they have. They want recognition at the expense of others. And they will end up looking all the more a fool as a result of it.

But there will always be people like you and me who care about people. There will always be people like you and me who have hope that they can make small waves that will grow into a tsunami of kindness and peace. There are good people out there making a difference no matter what the political world is creating for us. So, we can sit out the hate and nonsense for a little while longer as long as we are living and helping someone in need every day. I just went to the website and set up a small monthly donations online at https://www.coloradogives.org/
It helps me to help others and they help so many people and places through this website. There are so many organizations that need our support right now.

Here are some thoughts about why we must understand the value of education:
“The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” —John F. Kennedy
“Education is our only political safety. Outside of this ark all is deluge.” —Horace Mann
“Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.” —Marian Wright Edelman
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#learning
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#journal

Keep reading, keep learning, keep helping, and keep on keeping on! I love you all on this beautiful night!

Sunday Musings

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I have been focusing on what people should have in their library. Today I want to recommend what you should have in your video library, not in any particular order. I highly recommend these to those 20+ somethings to get a picture of us weird old ones! Take a peak at these in original form and have some wonderful happiness spread over you. Enjoy the night folks!

Original series:
Roar
The Expanse
Miracle Workers
The Mandalorian

Movies:
Gone with the Wind (Original in Black and White)
The Princess Bride
Animal House
Revenge of the Nerds
All of the original Star Wars (not the remakes with added scenes – ugh!)
All of the original Star Trek (episodes and movies-even the bad ones!)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Big Trouble in Little China
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (the original in a theatre where people dress up!)
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything

There are so many more…but this is a good start! Love to all tonight! Spring has sprung….