Tag Archives: love

We Can’t Give Up!

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Or: Or How to Change the Regression to the Past.
Today was a self-reflection and a day of discord. The more I read, the more I worry about what the people who believe in this current administration and what they are letting happen to us. All I want to emphasize tonight is that this contentiousness and hatred has to stop. We cannot regress to a past era that was hopeless for all the little people in the world. We are 327 million strong and we can band together in a just cause. We cannot support or become the kind of person who wants control of others so they feel better about themselves.

It’s time to rally for change and stop the anger at the people who are being persecuted. We can do this in a peaceful manner. We can fight the ridiculous billionaires if we ignore their tantrums and demand they change for the betterment of all people. We can stand up in our place of work to that guy in office like Mariann Edgar Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington D.C., who peacefully confronted him at the beginning of his term. She has an excellent book called How We Learn to Be Brave and I encourage you to read it to learn from her. She is that very example of a brave person that I am talking about and want to emulate!

I still believe that media should step up like the old days and call attention to those in office that are doing and saying awful things, even if they are banned from the White House. I still believe that education is the key to create change from this chaos. The more we put out positive statements on every media outlet, the more we can create change.

Every day we have to persuade those that are still enamored of that guy in office and his minions that he is not good for the people or the country. Every day we need to plan for his assault on rational America and convince those in power to keep fighting for democracy now and in the future. Change is hard, but we can have momentum if we keep making tiny little changes locally and stop being afraid of what’s going to happen to our money. We are bigger than that. We have to get into the trenches of the downtrodden and help each other on a daily basis. Fear is what they want. We have to be fearless so our children can become the citizens we want them to be.

I still believe that we can move forward. I refuse to buy into throwing up my hands and believing “Nothing can be done.” Let’s make small changes every day we live. We can take back the statement “Make America Great Again” from the ridiculous people and truly extend that to all those in North America and around the world. Reach out your hand and join everyone who believe there is still hope.

Live in this moment as though your life depends on it. Enough said.

I send love to all those out there who are frightened in hopes they will read this and believe that things will change for the better.

See the Beauty in the Dark While You are Still in It

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–Quote for title is from The Flower Sisters, by Michelle Collins Anderson
Even in the darkest times, the stars will shine in the night skies, and bring hope to those who look up. Darkness can be calming, or it can become a nightmare. It’s how you interact with it that makes your life better or worse. If you can embrace your life as it is, knowing that the sun will, indeed, come up tomorrow, you can live in your own skin. You can accept that there will always be dark times, but hope does spring eternal, and we can look forward to another day of living.

Today was a reflection day of where we are going and why the turmoil is making us frazzled human beings. A co-worker died just a few days ago and it was a shock to my system. He was younger than me, and seemed in good health. Although we didn’t know each other well, we shared funny jokes and silliness. We had just said “Hey” to each other a few days ago and didn’t think anything of it. Sometimes I feel I am lucky that I haven’t gotten there yet, aches and pains and all. And sometimes I wonder what it will be like when my time comes. Will there be an afterlife? Will I come back? Answers that are beyond me at this point even though I ponder it. I hope for a very long life and sharing knowledge and love every day that I am given on this planet. I hope this co-worker found peace and happiness wherever and whenever he is in this time-space continuum. In Anderson’s book, The Flower Sisters, the grandmother was an undertaker for her small town, and had this to say when receiving a body and regarding death: “No one is special; no one is spared. It is a concept that is both infuriating and comforting, depending on my mood….”

As we age, we all think of ourselves as that eighteen-year-old kid who was bright-eyed and prepared for anything: going off to college, or trade school, traveling the world, or to fight in a  war. And we fled our homes in hopes that our lives would have meaning and we would make a difference in the world. We wanted to change who we were. We wanted to be different from our parents and ancestors. Yet, we understood that we couldn’t change where or who we’d come from, but those old places we lived, depending on the history, the good and the bad feelings, would stay with us throughout our lives. Many of us decided to stay close to home, and live our lives, in close proximity to our families and on our ancestors’ lands. But many of us ventured out into the world and tried to become someone else. The memories and heritage would always stay with us, but some of us knew that we wanted to create a different community and raise our families with those who were more likely to embrace a future that would be better for all.

Hopefully, we all found our place in the world, and our stories mingled with those new people in our lives. Hopefully, we were able to reconcile where we came from and where we were headed: towards a different future.

There will always be those heritage memories and some of us are able to reconcile our past with our current states. Some of us write about these memories to help us have a heart that is full but also open to new adventures and live a life that is full of love.

It’s hard to think of yourself as aging and needing help in the future. It’s hard to talk about parents that are gone, or aren’t aging as well as you are. But, we have to take care of our past, and our elders and pass on this sense of duty to our children.

My hope is that when we need help, our child will understand that it’s okay to help us take care of ourselves. We don’t want to become elders, yet it is going to happen. My questions for tonight are: “Why is this such a hard concept to those in power? Why is our country diminishing those in need right now?” Is it because they are afraid to get old? Don’t they understand that no amount of money will buy you out of your ending? It will happen when it happens.

I am taking this opportunity to tell the world this: Take care of yourself, but also take care of your elders. It’s okay if they weren’t the greatest parents and grandparents to you. They did the best they could. And I would like to tell the people in power: Take a moment to reflect before you cut services to those in need.

I love you all, and hope you can wrap your arms around those you hold dear. Hold them close as long as you can.

Interconnectedness

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Today’s reflection is about how we are connected in the world and how we communicate through the airwaves. The dictionary describes connectedness as the state of being connected and having a close relationship with other things or people. I believe that each person is their own distinct, physical being, but they can be connected to each other and nature in many ways. Connectedness is not necessarily bound by physical touch or language. Sometimes we just know something is going on, for example in a dream, or a stray thought. Years ago, I knew when each parent died. They came in my dreams to say goodbye. There are many examples that we have where we just knew something, the feeling that something was wrong, or got something in the mail that we knew was coming, and we called to check on the people that we loved.

We feel the emotions amplifying in a crowd, especially fear and anger. Perhaps that’s why we are feeling despair and discontent over decisions that are being made in the highest offices. We feel what over fifty percent of people are collectively feeling. Our interconnectedness is physical, emotional, and cognitive. Our global shared consciousness reaches out into all of our mental spaces. We are not individual islands and must become part of a bigger world, the ocean of mental waves.

If we share this despair, perhaps we can determine at a higher level that we are not alone in our thoughts and reach out to each other in our mental states. We should be free to keep the memories of the past, but make new memories and friends who share a common goal – protecting democracy and the people of all nations and races. Billionaires should learn from their families’ histories and be better human beings. They should learn how to connect with all those who are in need. Fascism cannot reign and must not be ignored in our society. It happened once before, and we wholeheartedly fought it. We must fight the good fight right now and restore a fair and balanced world. We have buried our forefathers and now we are the elders. We must act like the good and kind ones, and make progress towards fixing what has been broken, one little act of kindness at a time.

In Alice Hoffman’s latest book, The Bookstore Keepers, she stated, “Some things [will] always be remembered because they [are] handed down, things like love and memories and stories.”

For the rest of our lives, let’s remember the love and the beautiful stories handed down to us by telling our children about our past, both good and bad things that happened and what we learned as a result of our actions or in-actions. Let’s ask them not to repeat the bad parts of history and strive to make the world a better, and more peaceful place to live out their lives.

I love you all and wish only the best each day. Hugs tonight for those who need it.

It’s Not My Time

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  • “It’s not my time, I’m not going. There’s a fear in me. It’s not showing. This could be the end of me, and everything I know. Oh, I won’t go.”—Three Doors Down
  • “We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.”—John F. Kennedy
  • “Time is free, but it’s priceless.”—Harvey MacKay
  • “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead.”—Harry Potter 
  • “A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life.”—Charles Darwin
  • “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”—Bil Keane
  • “It’s not the time in your life; it’s the life in your time.”—Bruce Springsteen. 
  • “Time waits for no one.”—Geoffrey Chaucer from The Canterbury Tales
  • “The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.”—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It’s not my time is a concept that we all struggle with throughout our lifetime, and yet there is no one clear cut answer to the question of when will my time actually materialize. We may think it will never come, or we may just avoid the question completely, especially when it comes to our end of life and we feel we haven’t finished everything we wanted to accomplish.

But what is time in the grand scheme of things? It can often refer to a mindset where someone believes a particular opportunity, situation, or life event is not happening for them yet. It suggests that a sense of waiting for the right moment, often tied to feelings of patience, destiny, or a belief that things will align when the time is right. If we settle for what is available right now, and it is not perfect, we may regret it. It may limit our possibilities. But a willingness to wait for something better creates inaction, leading to apathy in the present. Neither is a solution to resolve a current problem.

Sometimes, it’s not my time can be a way to avoid taking risks or making decisions due to fear of potential negative outcomes, creating a self-protective mechanism. We become afraid to think outside the box and just go with the flow with the rest of the world. We don’t want to stick out in the crowd because of fearful consequences. It’s crucial to assess whether it’s not my time is a helpful coping mechanism or a way to avoid taking necessary action. If we stay passive and let life pass us by, or take no action because of fear, we become victims, and that is not a good place to be. We are stronger than that as human beings. We know deep in our hearts we can make the time to teach others how to overcome fear and advocate for action. We know how to create that resilience in others to stand up to all of the injustices in the world.

Some individuals may strongly believe in a predetermined path in life, where certain events are meant to happen at specific times, leading to a sense of resignation or passive acceptance. I’m not ready to give up. I never believed in a predetermined life path and I’m certainly not going to give up and accept things that are just not right in the world, especially right now. I will keep shining a light (or paragraphs) on issues that must be addressed to help us heal and not be so angry all the time.

No matter how much we wish to stop time when hardship is on the horizon, we can’t go against it. The biggest favor we can do ourselves is to accept the passage of time, both when good and bad things happen. But the sooner we face our (and the world’s) troubles, the sooner they’ll be over. Every individual can make a difference.

So, yes, it’s not my time to give up. It’s my time to shine. It’s your time to do the same thing. I love you all and warm thoughts go out to you tonight!

WHAT WE VALUE AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM

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This is the time of year we think of our first memories of the holidays and reflect on what we learn. Alas, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses, so I endeavor to think most about the good times or roses, and what lessons I learned to be the person I am today. Here are some thoughts on who I am. I encourage you to write about who you are and ask yourself: “Are you the person you want to be?”

I am the product of a southern belle princess and a country farmer. My parents grew up in the Deep South during the Depression and World War II. My father was in the navy and my mother worked in a department store. I am the middle kid. I am a Baby Boomer.

I was known as that weird kid because I didn’t fit into any mold of what a normal teenager was thought to be, those molds that others love to put themselves in. I grew up in an era where being smart, having coke bottle glasses, and being awkward and opinionated made me stick out like a sore thumb. In the Deep South, those were the very things that made ridicule come easily from my classmates.

My life was one of marching to the beat of a different drum and this lifestyle would get me into arguments with people of all ages. I would always fight the good fight, for what was just and right. Slowly, friends I had known since first grade systematically shut me out. We went our separate ways, and I never heard from most of them again.

As a young child, I began to question why people do the things they do. Why would they hold onto hate that was over a hundred years old? Why didn’t I feel the same way? I would ask myself, “Why couldn’t I just be that cute cheerleader who fits in?” You know what I’m talking about: the ones that fit the mold and went to all the cool parties; the one who was just part of the gang. Why did I have so many reasons to want to change the world? Why didn’t I just settle down and have a family like all the other girls? (OK, so maybe they were having kids at thirteen back then, so I said ‘No, thank you!’).” So, I kept telling myself, “I can make a difference in the world if I am given the chance.”

Finally, I did get that chance and many more when I became an adult. I chose the path to make a difference in the world, no matter how hard it was to obtain. I moved away to achieve the things I dreamed about. And I never looked back.

Even though I am now in the senior citizen category, I still categorize myself as that weird kid who thinks too much. I have been a southerner, and a country girl now turned city girl. I remember the Vietnam War and high school friends who never came back. I remember Iraq and Afghanistan wars and those who never came back. I remember so many firsts from my fellow police academy graduates. My classmates graduated to become some of the best and the first truly educated and understanding officers the state of Georgia had ever seen – the first African American state trooper in South Georgia, the first woman game and fish officer, the first women working as patrol officers for the Atlanta PD, and the first women correctional officers and trainers. I have been a correctional officer trainer, a police officer and behavioral profiler, and another first – creating the first serious juvenile offender program for the police in Colorado. We all broke down these barriers, women and people of color no longer designated to the secretarial or motor pool, back in the day when disco was hot, and cocaine flowed freely. I remember police friends who got so burned out they had to quit.

I went to college in both the 1970’s and again in the 1980’s. Some of my generation thought of ourselves as a lost generation because we were not the classic Boomer generation. We had different worldly causes than those of our mothers and fathers. Our generation wanted change, fairness, honesty, and hope. Today, I still get into a lot of animated and sometimes hostile discussions with people who are both younger and older and have differing opinions. I constantly remind myself that I need to try and respect their opinions even though I disagree with them. I want to have animated discourse but not the current hostility where no one listens to each other.

I am ashamed of the southern people that I see on television today that have so much hate in their hearts. I decided a long time ago that since I expect so much from myself it is okay to expect the best out of others, so I keep trying to make them understand love and kindness.

Today, half the people believe that our society cannot change for the better, even when I tell them that we control our own lives. There is still too much war in the world and less talk of peace and unconditional love. These were the visions of my bohemian hippie generation. I think there’s a need for people like me out there – one that still believes in those old ideals yet has a demanding work ethic to make change happen and make people believe in the future.

I’ve made my own way in the Wild, Wild West. I have fully participated in the world, I write and publish about things that matter, sometimes couched in fun mysteries, and believe I have made a difference. I’ve had my “fifteen minutes of fame” and am ready for the next fifteen. Are you ready? I wish you happy holidays and fulfillment in your lives.

Enjoy these puns based on songs while you spend time with your family. And try not to fight, just have a peaceful moment in time. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hit me baby one more thyme.

It’s all about that baste.

Give peas a chance.

All pie myself.

Talk turkey to me.

Did you hear about the Pilgrim band? They’re called “New Kids on the Rock.”

Turkey deeds done dirt cheap.