I originally wrote and posted this on 2012. I have made a few tweaks but think the message is still clear for us Baby Boomers to WAKE UP and shake and move what we can! We need to get on with our lives in new ways!

And, speaking of baby boomers, I never really thought I was old until I saw Al Sharpton on the TV (2012). I thought to myself, “Wow, he really looks old!” Then, he said, “The first time I was allowed to vote was in 1972.” Then, I said to myself, “Holy crap! That was the first year I could vote!”
Next thing you know, I’m looking at myself in the mirror and see the face of a stranger – no wait! It’s my mother! All of us go through these series of difficulties as we grow older. Some of us embrace the changes. Others just get grumpy and afraid.So when exactly did we get so afraid?

I wrote this dialogue in my book Discover the Life You Want to Live. And even though I published it right after the original blog, I believe it’s still worth the read. It just may explain this fear:
What happened to us?
-I’m used to women who went to Alaska to save the birds when the oil spilled.
-I’m used to women who took martial arts and could defend others and themselves and felt good about it.
-I’m used to women police officers, horseback riders and trainers – women who have their own tools!
-What happened to us? What is going on with the new twitter-tweeters (or X), texters, Facebook, bloggers, Instagramers,  all of those crazy people who rant and rave about things that aren’t real. Why are they staying and home and believing what they hear? Why aren’t they stepping outside their homes to do anything? Is there a gene that says we have to become passive and safe after we turn fifty? I’m at a loss when I talk to women who’ve never tried skydiving, or taught juvenile delinquents how to take care of themselves – how to take responsibility despite the fact their family is dysfunctional – women who could nurture, yet at the same time remodel a house, remake a garden, bake bread, or rebuild a car and have their own all-women’s car club!
-What happened to us?  I’ve been spending time together with savvy women who aren’t afraid to invest their own money even after 9/11. They are the kind of women I want in my life all the time. I don’t won’t the whiners – the poor pitiful me types. That really brings me down. When I go there it makes me sad. I still want to live a productive life even if I have to be alone, which is a challenging thing to do sometimes.

After 9/11 why were we so afraid? (I am also adding after the Covid epidemic in 2019 to this fear list.) Safety became so big – we wanted the government to do something about it but we didn’t want government intrusion at the same time (we’ll do it ourselves except we want you to protect us mentality) was what people screamed. Viagra, Paxil, those things we started worrying about more because the ads told us to worry about these conditions. Red Hat Societies started, but what did they really do? Talk a lot and drink a lot of tea? Come on! Where’s the doing? Ads about body hair and other unmentionables for crying out loud! What’s that all about? Reality TV instead of making our own reality? Cable shows getting better and better than regular channels, but we have to pay for it; elections being about women’s bodies, gay rights, and religion; our rights being taken away each and every day. What happened to all these women speaking up in the 1960s and 1970s? We got old and gave up. We worried about health care, instead.

So now I must shout to everyone: “Bahala Na!” or “Come what may!” I read this in a novel called Lost in Shangri-La by Mitchell Zuckoff. It is about women soldiers surviving a plane crash during WWII. They were on a small island on what is now part of the Dominican Republic. They had to survive their injuries – concussions, gangrene due to severe burns from the plane exploding, all while walking in uncharted territory with little or no food, where no non-native woman had ever been. These were some tough women! Why have so many of us never been exposed to this environment? Oh, sure, we’re weekend warriors; we have running clubs, but have we really ever had to survive like they did?

And yet, there are people out there doing this every day. They are unhoused folks. Yes, perhaps they made bad choices somewhere along the lines. Perhaps they overspent, and then lost their homes and their jobs. Perhaps they were living on the edge and addictions got in the way. But, as things get increasingly expensive for all of us, we need to rethink our finances and try to help these people in our community. We have so much wealth where we are today. I mean wealth as a term for our lovely town, of living standards that surpass any other place; for green and sustainable living; for our ability to buy and prepare foods that have been grown locally and being able to eat out in places that are healthy and actually good for us. And one that makes us above the average income of any other place in the country.

I know, I know, you don’t think you have a lot of money because you have to pay off your house, your college, your kids’ college funds. But there are people who have no savings at all. They live day-to-day. And, if they lose their jobs, they plunge more quickly in debt. They are not the dreaded welfare moms image that the Reagan administration foisted on us. People who sometimes need help genuinely want to work and don’t have jobs, not because they are lazy, but because their job was outsourced. Women our age have a lot more influence than I had in the past. Now is the time to use our leverage.

We cannot encourage our young daughters to buy into the Trad Wife mentality. It will only hurt them in the end. We need to have honest conversations with them (turn off the phones during that time!) and I encourage you to read all about this phenomenon. It is quite disturbing and is simply wrong. This concept is making only one person money because they are listening to her. IT IS NOT REAL! Here are some articles that I found that explain this current phenomena:
https://www.parents.com/tradwife-meaning-and-why-its-controversial-8656603
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/persons-of-interest/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-trad-wife

Most of us didn’t come from old world money. We came from middle class America. Our mothers didn’t wear designer clothes while cooking or were the perfect wives. We came from a generation that taught us how to cook and keep a home, but some of our mothers also worked outside the home to make ends meet. We also learned how to pinch pennies in a time when we weren’t paid very much. We came from a generation where we knew women were underpaid and did a lot of work, both in the home and out of it.

Now, we have an opportunity where we can give back. We can teach our daughters to understand the 1950s family is not real. We can become the mothers and fathers to others. We can become role models to the people who have never had one. We can teach others how to live within their means, no matter how meager it is. We can give others a chance to survive in this world.

Material things aren’t the most important things in life. We can learn this lesson and teach others how to understand that survival and safety come first. If we are good cooks and bakers, we can help others make their own hearty meals. We can volunteer at community centers and kitchens. We can teach them how making their own food makes the house smell wonderful, and they learn how to be a family by eating and cooking together. We help ourselves and others by turning off the devises, and TV to learn how to appreciate what is free in life. We learn to take a good walk. If we grow personally, we get ideas to stimulate growth in others. Ideas escalate to useful concepts for humanity. Only then can visions of paradise become reality.

I love you all and will walk this path with you if you want. Hugs to all on this cold day!