“If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he’ll look for his own answers.”—Patrick Rothfuss
“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.”—Oprah Winfrey
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”—Wayne Dyer
“Some people love being victims because they love being able to blame someone else. Accountability [emphasis mine] is too much for them. They don’t like being responsible [emphasis mine] for who they have become or where they are in life.”—Anonymous
So I had to stop and take a breath last night but I’m back. Sometimes I just overwhelm myself with my dreadful thoughts. This will be my 135th post today.
But you all know I’m not wrong. I want to continue down this pathway for a little longer and promise to say something nicer tomorrow.
Author Finn Robinson states that some people have had past encounters where failure led to punishment of some kind, therefore they are ruled by fear. Thus, they feel that they are justified in thinking that others should be punished for their actions. He also stated that these same people aren’t good with taking criticism, even if it is perceived criticism. They have a hard time learning from their past mistakes and feel it is just someone else’s fault. They live in denial, or in the case of seniors, in their version of the past. Unfortunately, the past isn’t always a better time. It’s better to learn from our mistakes and move on to a new way of doing things. For further information see his article:
People who blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for things share 12 common traits
Arash Emamzadeh authored an interesting article in Psychology Today. He stated that “…blaming others is a defense mechanism [or] an unconscious process that protects the finger-pointer and blame-shifter from experiencing unpleasant feelings, such as guilt or shame.” He further stated that “Blaming is usually considered part of the defense mechanism called projection, which involves denying one’s own anxiety-provoking or negative characteristics and seeing them instead in others.” Finally, he asked: “Are certain individuals more likely to shift blame onto others? Yes, according to a recent series of investigations by Kaufmann and colleagues: Blamers tend to have difficulties with emotion regulation. For further information go to:
Why Some People Will Always Blame Others | Psychology Today
Accountability and responsibility. Author Lachlan Brown takes a step regarding how you can reclaim your life and be who you need to be. You don’t need to blame others if you step up and admit you are accountable for your own behavior. He lists 11 tips to accomplish this. Here are a few:
- Stop blaming other people. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop blaming others.
- Stop making excuses.
- Ask yourself how other people impact you if you think you are a victim.
- Love yourself.
- Stop complaining – this takes more energy than just accomplishing what you need to do.
The rest of his tips can be found at: https://hackspirit.com/taking-responsibility/
So, sometimes we get it that you may feel isolated and lonely, and want to have human interaction. However, there are so many places that you can visit to talk to others and resolve what is going on with you. Volunteer to help others so you understand there are bigger issues in the world. And maybe take a breath and count to five the next time you call wanting heads to roll at a government office for something that you could have easily fixed yourself. Enough said….
Love and hugs to those in need tonight! Enjoy the flowers popping up. Enjoy the weather before the storm in your lovely little part of Colorado.