Grocery Store Madness and Impatient People

Okay folks, I know it’s the holidays, and I chose to embark into the dark waters of grocery store shopping on a Friday night (hey, I couldn’t help it – 4X fuel points and gas is expensive). It was sooooo incredibly crazy out there today. There were two lanes open in the regular checkout, so it was bad, bad, bad. Holy Moly! I want to tell you one thing – old folks pushing old folks, invading my old folk space, to try and get out faster, that just does not work for me (and yes, I am one of the old folks who got pushed). I can’t move any faster to give you more time. You are just invading my personal space. And yes, I still have to check out in front of the credit card reader, just like everyone else.

And I am not going to go into how the drivers in the parking lot are trying to run over people in a walker, for goodness sakes! A whole lot of angst is going on right now! Really, it’s not the Zombie apocalypse so slow down folks! We will all get to where we need to go in time. These were definitely David Sedaris or Amy Sedaris moments. (Look them up. They are very funny.)

Quick facts:
Grocery shopping can induce anxiety because of overstimulation. Grocery stores are often busy, with bright lights, loud noises, and many people. This sensory overload can be overwhelming. Most researchers believe that it is caused by a mismatch or conflict between the various parts of the brain’s balance system, similar to motion sickness. Others believe that it happens when a vestibular problem causes the brain to rely too much on visual signals for balance (visual dependency).

I might have all that! I know my vision isn’t the best and the lights are harsh in a grocery store. And, I may be a little slower because I have what’s called Supermarket Syndrome. It’s the real thing! Sometimes I just have to sort through my list and coupons. I try to get out of the way of others. But sometimes there’s just no getting out of the way when it’s crowded. I also get a little dizzy and have to go slow and that’s apparently a thing, too! See the article listed below:
https://vestibular.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Visually-Induced-Dizziness-Supermarket-Syndrome_112.pdf

So all I gotta say to everyone. Behave! That’s not what your mamas taught you. I will do my part to be kind and helpful and try and get out of the way as fast as possible, but you gotta do your part, too!

I still send you good vibes and love, but I just want to say to everyone: Slow Down and PAY ATTENTION! Pay attention to your surroundings and your corresponding old person who is standing right there, in front of you, not moving for a reason, yet trying to move! Be patient and love the time you have at that very moment in your life. Hugs!

The Dollhouse: A Place of Imagination and Adventure

My folks tore down our playhouse years ago. I hadn’t thought about it in a long time. We called it the Dollhouse and it was home to so many of our adventures. Years ago, when I visited my mother’s home one last time, I was sad to see that it was gone, the imprint of the building in the red dirt, concreted rocks in the corners that were the only foundation, and two small impressions that used to be the flowerbeds, one on each side of the door.

My father and grandfather built the Dollhouse for us when I was young. It was tall enough for us to stand up inside and there were exposed rafters from which to hang stuff. There were just the two of us back then, my older sister and me. The outside was framed and sided with old barnwood shiplap. The roof was made of tin, material taken from some other barn project. The inside consisted of bare stud walls with shelving, old green vinyl flooring left over from a long-ago kitchen remodel and remnants of some pieces of tin and wallpaper from another old home project. I divided my side into a kitchen, den, and bedroom. I remember that for some reason, the doll bed was made of metal. The place was tiny, but I made room for my dolls and other paraphernalia. I dreamed I was a fantastic cook, and filled various small jars collected all over the neighborhood with various grasses, sand, red and black dirt. I pretended those were spice jars. I had a little stove and small pots and pans and made masterpieces that consisted of slabs of wood for steaks, brown rocks for bread, various greens from the big garden for salad, and rocks for potatoes. (Yes, my mother taught us about healthy food, most of it grown in our own garden.) I remember my sister had other cool furniture on her side, such as a table and chairs, and a highchair. Her dolls always seemed more sophisticated than mine, but that is another story. Mine were a ragtag bunch, like what my friends would become in the future.

The men in the family would get together in the spring of each year and paint all the corrugated tin roofs – the barns, my grandmother’s house, and the Dollhouse. We wanted to help but it was so hot on the roof and my dad was afraid we’d fall off, so we played in the dirt below, the silver paint dripping on us. My mother would yell at us to come away and we would run back into the woods, avoiding baths as long as we could.

The roof of the Dollhouse always seemed to get rust spots earlier than most of the other buildings. I suppose it was because we were under a stand of trees. The pine trees appeared to be especially corrosive to the metal. My father would repair each spot that he saw, and then they would paint another layer of silver paint over them. It was only a matter of time before the roof would completely deteriorate in the Georgia humidity and rain and fall into the house.

My father and grandfather situated the Dollhouse behind the workshop/barn/carport that they built when my parents were first married. I noticed on many occasions when I visited, that both the barn and the Dollhouse were sagging and leaned a little to the right – as was expected after all those years of standing.

The tractors and mowers, covered in tarps, were still parked behind the barn. They looked like they hadn’t been used in a long time. In the past, my dad and mom mowed about ten of the forty-five acres we owned as homage to the new spring growth. The clothesline’s T-shaped wooden poles were still standing, also leaning a little but to the left (pun intended). Three galvanized steel cables comprised the lines where we hung the washing. The lines were not there anymore. We didn’t have a dryer in those days. In my family’s way of thinking, why would we want one when we had three girls to take care of that task? We probably just couldn’t afford one. And, when winter came, clothes froze on the line. (And that is another story.)

When my younger sister came along, my dad built wooden rails to divide the small space into three rooms that created three homes within one. The youngest got the smallest section that had no window. Each of us had small doll furniture including doll beds, tables and chairs, dishes, and pans. We each had what my mother called pallets (The origin of this word is French. It means a narrow hard bed or straw-filled mattress. The name was a chiefly southern word meaning a temporary bed made from bedding that consisted of old quilts, arranged on the floor, especially for a child.) We spent many hot and humid days inside on these pallets, reading, drawing, or coloring or making our dolls talk to us about their adventures.

The Dollhouse was a place where we would retreat from the chores, the sun or my mother’s incessant nagging (a trait I unfortunately inherited and must remind myself to hold in check when things aren’t completed as fast as I think they should). We could read, play, or go anywhere that our imaginations would take us. When we were inside, we lived as neighbors, not bickering, and it was mostly peaceful.

It was a safe place for us kids to stay on the land and think about the world we lived in. I worried a lot about who I would become in those days, and never sorted it out until much later. My mother told me I would ride in the police car with my grandfather at an incredibly early age, standing on the front seat right next to him, his arm around me and the other on the huge driving wheel. We didn’t have baby seats or seatbelts, and it was a wonder I survived my first year!

When I was older, I would later ride with a cousin who was also a police officer in another town. Little did I know I would follow their path for most of my adult life.

I would love to hear of your childhood adventures in your own dollhouses. Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow!

Lessons from Childhood: Embracing the Good and Bad

Sometimes I wish that I had taken the time to write down all the stories about my eccentric and interesting relatives. My mother and father told me some of our rich history, and yet I only remember bits and pieces. That’s why I’m taking this time to dredge out memories from my past and write them down. I want to leave these stories with my child where I came from versus what my story is right now. I worry that I won’t meet up to his expectations, but at least he will know who I am, the good, the bad and the ugly of it all.

When I was home that last time, at my father’s funeral, my mom wanted to show me our old, covered bridge, the one we drove through to go to school every day. So, we walked down that long, dirt road. She also wanted to show me our favorite summer fun place. The covered bridge looked good. It had been restored and blocked off to traffic. The creek and river, however, were incredibly overgrown and polluted. The road did not go through the bridge anymore. The state had fenced it off and rerouted cars to a concrete bridge that crossed the river further down. We spent many hot summers down here my mother told me. All the kids would float on those old yet still inflatable truck inner tubes down the river.

I told her I remembered our two older boy cousins driving down to our house in their old pickup truck, honking the horn for us to come with them. The inner tubes were piled up in the bed and we would climb up and sit behind them. Then, they would fly back down the narrow dirt road as we bounced around in the back, screaming all the way up and down that hill past their house. Tires screeching, they would whip around at the covered bridge and park on the side of the road.

My mother laughed at the picture I painted and told me how I ran after them if they didn’t pick me up. We all loved the older cousins, and they took me everywhere, especially when they rebuilt that old red convertible. (Everyone knew about the beloved and fully restored, red convertible (and that is a story for another time).

Little did my mother know that I often ran down to the little creek that we called the spring on those long afternoon days that were so hot and muggy. It wound around and merged with the big creek that flowed under the old, covered bridge. It scared me to go there by myself and at the time, it seemed so far away, and yet I craved that solace. There were lots of water moccasins swimming in the depths, but I avoided them and never got bitten by one. Once I got there, I would pull off all my clothes and jump in to cool off, frogs and snakes scattering, birds squawking.

As we walked home at dusk, the whip-poor-wills started up, and this would be the sound I remembered, one that lulled me to sleep each night in my childhood.

Today, I regret not being able to say goodbye to my dear mother in person one last time. She died six years after my dad, but I couldn’t make it back home. She had so much influence over me, and I have accepted the good and bad of both my parents’ teachings. I try to hold onto the good parts, and I have forgiven all the bad parts.

I know that my childhood was my innocent time. I had everything that I needed. I cared about the entire world, especially the war (Vietnam), or the politics and racial tensions, but knew I couldn’t do anything about it. I would read the newspapers and books and learn about all of this, and draft essays about all the injustices for school papers, but I always dreamed of faraway places, both on earth and beyond. I looked at the stars every night from our porch until my mom called me inside. I thought to myself: “That’s where I’ll be someday. I’ll make a difference!” (I haven’t made it into space yet, but I can still dream!)

I have tried to take my good childhood memories and blend them with adult memories to make a better life for my family and me. I have embraced change yet cling to the lessons that were given freely to me. My unbidden advice is to take the wins of your earlier life lessons and let go of the rest. Embrace the future in a positive way, no matter how bleak it looks. Remind yourself that you are alive right now. Be happy, appreciate your life the way it turned out, and spread love to the universe. We never know what’s ahead of us, but we can try to have those daily moments of peace and kindness.

Hugs and Love to all.

The Art of Storytelling: Unleash Your Inner Writer

Writing is always about your personal discipline. Many people do not want to commit to taking time out of their lives when it comes to writing. Everyone has a story to tell about their life and the life of others they know. A human life can go in so many different directions. But you do have choices. You can lock yourself up in your house away from the world and fear the unknown. Or you can take time out each day to explore the world you live in and speak the truth. You can embrace the world, whether you fear it or not, and be involved with every aspect of nature and humans and their interactions with nature. Sometimes nature is the enemy. Sometimes humans are the enemy. It’s all those little interactions that make a story a wonderful experience for the reader.

People don’t seem to be brave these days and that’s sad to me. They pursue various artistic endeavors, but don’t consider that writing is also an art. If we could just face our fears, write them down and process our thoughts on paper (or computer), we would get a little better every day. So…. stop talking, create a practice and write every day. Stop saying to me, “I could write a book,” or “I started a book a long time ago.” The simple solution is to sit down and draft your own story. Finish what you have started. Tell us how you deal with the turmoil and strife, the love and the hate, and your view of the world today. Write about things you see and love every day. Write about the beauty of the world. Visualize dreams you want to happen and make them happen, first in story form, then in the real world.

I once read that a university student asked a well-known writer, “Do you think I could be a writer?” The writer responded, “Well, I don’t know…. Do you like sentences?” The writer/author was Annie Dillard, author of The Writing Life. She also wrote one of the best books I’ve read in a long time: Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (and so many other beautiful works). She is an incredible person who posed these and other questions to students. She posited that like painters, they paint because they like the smell of paint. So, of course, you must like sentences! “Can the writer isolate and vivify all in experience that most deeply engages our intellects and our hearts?” she asked her audience. And, finally, she asked, “Can the writer renew our hope for literary forms?”

Another fantastic book to read to give you a beautiful storyteller’s step by step process for writing is Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. This has been my writing bible for decades.

I implore you to start your journey today. I’ll leave you with an incredible quote I try to embrace each day, authored by novelist Joyce Cary:

“The truth is that life is hard and dangerous; that he who seeks his own happiness does not find it; that he who is weak must suffer; that he who demands love will be disappointed; that he who is greedy will not be fed; that he who seeks peace will find strife; that truth is only for the brave; that joy is only for him who does not fear to be alone; that life is only for the one who is not afraid to die.”  Or if I may simply put it: “It’s a good day to die, so let’s live life to the fullest!”

Everyone has a story to tell. I would love to hear yours. Have lots of food and fun this weekend and write about it, then publish it! Love and hugs to all.

Latitudes and Attitudes – An Homage to Jimmy Buffet

Jimmy Buffet’s song Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes was released in 1977 and has been a mainstay of his songs for several generations of Parrotheads. It is that kind of song that every radio station plays, and it sticks in your head for days. It is that type of song that helps you reflect on where you are in your daily life. It is that type of song that is needed in today’s world. His song reflects his life of travel to places and people who are different and more laid back than us North Americans. His life of traveling and learning about diverse cultures is something I aspired to when I was young. I haven’t made it to all those places he visited, but I will someday.

I first saw Jimmy Buffet in a concert at Fiddler’s Green in Denver. The boats were parked all around and people brought the party to him. We didn’t have an ocean, but we had the lawn. In the tropics, Jimmy would always acknowledge all the people out on boats, who didn’t have the expensive prime seats, but were a part of the happening. He would shout: “Hello, Boat People!” and those people would go wild. At Fiddler’s Green we were in the cheap seats way up at the top of the lawn, and he would shout: “Hello Lawn People!” and of course we would stand up and go crazy. Years later, we attended one of his last concerts in Denver which was at the Pepsi Center (now Ball Arena). He didn’t like that venue as much and a bunch of us were at the very top or behind the band. He would still shout up to us and even turned the band to those behind him for a few songs. He was an amazing and loving performer, and tried to give us all a wonderful performance, even in the cheap seats. His philosophy was to create a fun show and educate people on the importance of the oceans and the creatures and people that live there.

As many of you prepare to take off to islands with warmer climates for the holidays, I hope you will remember to change your emotional and mental state and become as laid back as the islanders do while you are there. I hope you relax and take in all the beauty that surrounds you. I hope the people on the islands can help you escape your daily grind and find a new perspective on life. I hope you can come back refreshed and ready to freely give to those in need, like most islanders do for you, no matter what your differences may be. I hope you bring a little of that island love and culture and Margaritaville lifestyle back to your neighborhood, especially to those mental and physical midwestern and northern cold climates. I hope you can break out of your comfort zone and give your heart freely to others who are different than you are.

If you are interested in learning more about Parrotheads, as well as his philanthropy, here are a few sites that caught my eye.

https://www.jimmybuffett.com/philanthropy

We love and miss you, Jimmy. You lived a great life, and we want to follow in your footsteps. Rest in Peace. Happy Holidays everyone!