Of all the things, why would we ever want to buy a monkey? I’ve heard this often from my male friends. They think it would be so cool to own one. Most of the women I know would never consider owning such an exotic pet. I think fish and birds are too exotic!

So, I decided to conduct an in depth exploration of the Barenaked Ladies’ song: If I Had a Million Dollars, just to see what people would buy. I asked around got some interesting statements.

Question: “What would you buy first if you had a million dollars? Here are some of the answers I got doing my most inexpertly poll:

Guys would buy a monkey. Again, I ask: Why???? One woman said, “We’d never buy a monkey because we married them!” (I’m sorry, guys, that was funny!)

The most frequent answers are listed below. People would:


Pay off college

Spend more time with family; help various family members;

Help my children—medically because they don’t have insurance to pay off physical repairs. Then I’d buy a 1964 Chrysler 300 hardtop, cherry red with the rest of it.

Put it in the bank and think about what to do with it


Buy a house or pay off a house

Quit my job and travel with all my family members then buy a Corvette (and that was a woman’s answer!)

Go through my wish list (everything I wanted to buy)

And, the oddball answer that was so cool:  Get a few more Chihuahuas—you go girl!

Me? I definitely wouldn’t buy al those crazy elephant bones, Kraft dinners or a green dress. I would pay off all the bills, fix the house up, make sure my kid’s college fund was completely funded, support local charities—especially EFAA, located in Boulder, hire a full-time personal trainer—definitely the Fit after Fifty guy—Jack! Then, I would buy a few more chiweenies and dachshunds!

So, this time of year, let’s think about what we are thankful for, what we can do to help others, and do something a little bit nice for ourselves. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 FYI—Best Barenaked Ladies video (a little dated, but still funny): www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHacDYj8KZM

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