I had lunch with a friend a while ago, and we are both in the process of creating memoirs. It was nice to touch base with someone who has had an incredible and interesting life, has loads of journals, notes, and stacks of pictures and papers to sort through (like me), so she can just get to the point of putting it together on the computer.

When I think of all the things that I have done, I feel humbled at what she has accomplished. Her book should be enlightening, to say the least, and I will be able to follow her path in a few years, entering the further chapters of my life, sorting through memories, traveling, and having the next great adventure, going to places I have dreamed about, learning new things, and meeting new people. I look forward to reading about where she was from and where her travels took her.

We laughed about being the “doers” in our families, taking on tasks no one else wanted and excelling at them. We mocked those who weren’t willing to try new things or even do what needed to be done. We agreed that we didn’t want to be the leaders, yet somehow our doing the jobs that needed doing made us become one.

We commiserated about those who refuse to get out of their ruts and won’t learn anything new. They have stagnated into obscurity and dislike others who have moved on. She encouraged me to move on, forgive, and forget those people. They won’t change unless they want to do something new and invigorating with their senior years.

We agonized over those people who have shut out their human side, not caring for others who have less or are different from them, instead condemning them and never stepping up to help.

We discussed at length how we define ourselves, and how our past affected us. We posed questions about how our past might define us, how we might overcome some of the trials that have scarred us, and how we might move on to accept that our present actions are now defining us.

Finally, we noticed that our active listening gave us insight into each other and into how we might teach others to do the same. People who don’t listen are a pet peeve of mine, and I realize how important it is for others to sit down and breathe so we can communicate in a positive, rational way and learn something new about each other and the world.

And finally, we agreed that some people are, to put it bluntly, lazy. Hard work is hard. It’s also hard to do the work. It’s hard to understand the world, and you have to dig for facts, not just believe insane sound bites. It’s important to read and study every day you are in this world, making reality out of nonsense. Family is important, and sometimes you just have to create your own family. Some of us don’t have blood relations that speak to us, because we are so different. So, my advice is to embrace the family and community you create.

The biggest lesson I learned from her was that I need to let things go and accept that other people have issues far bigger than mine, but still need someone to blame. How to dive deeper and figure out the WHY their behavior still bothers me greatly, but I guess that’s one of the things I also need to let go of.

So my advice to you all today is to live your life fully and in the moment. Don’t procrastinate. Do the things that need to be done, even if you don’t want to. Grow something beautiful. Make something tasty out of what you grow, feed others when you can, and embrace happiness. You may not live long enough for the world to change for the better, so make your own world better, and make your happiness when you can.

In the few days before summer is truly announced to the world (the summer solstice), love where you are in this moment of time.  Love the summer as much as I do and get out and dig! Love each other as much as I love you all.