Do you know what fixed point in time you came into your own? I recently finished reading both Firefly Lane and Fly Away by Kristin Hannah. Her characters in these books got me thinking a lot about what era I identified with, the era that made me who I am. Although my primary years were in the 1960s, I came into my own in the late 1970s and 1980s. I identified with the music, the clothes, the career, and the women in my life who changed everything. We, as a gender, began to recognize that women were just as important as men and started demanding equal rights.  

In the 1950s, women were expected to stay home and handle all domestic duties, including raising children. They were supposed to be perfect, not speak out of turn, and so many believed they deserved their station in life. In some families, love was a commodity; abuse in some households was tolerated (it was your fault, after all, right?), and children were supposed to accept what they got, their place in society, and not question any rules. Many blamed themselves for everything that went wrong in relationships. After all, so many of them married their version of their father. And that’s what the future grandchildren understood that their mothers were supposed to do, right?

The women of the 50s, 60s, and even some of the 70s had no careers, no money of their own, no property of their own, and believed in this system. They weren’t allowed to go to the same schools as men (don’t want to distract the men from their pursuits! Wow!) But then, the children rebelled. We saw through the B.S. and wanted more. We wanted independence.

My mother was a homemaker, but she worked before she had children. She was adamant that her children go to college and have a career, and I am forever grateful to her. My male cousins influenced me, and I chose my career based on what they had accomplished. Many women and men in roles as teachers and commanders in my life kept me going, even when I wanted to stop. They saw something in me that made me overcome my doubts. They never let me give up. They influenced others who scoffed at women being in predominantly male fields. They also had expectations of who I SHOULD be, which made me think deeply and create expectations of who I WANTED to be. Through their influence and guidance, I became the resilient person I am today. I continue to research and learn, ask good questions, embrace the positive, and stay informed.

And although some women of my era got through those years and stayed stagnant in their thoughts and choices, keeping their daughters afraid, other women embraced everything new, combined their knowledge of past and present, moved on to something completely different, and became mentors to younger generations.

This year has been trying, to say the least, and as we approach fall, it’s time to clean up our own backyards, love who we are, mentor younger generations, stop hate and prejudice, and stand up and be heard. No matter how much garbage news is spewed at the masses, always do the right thing. Give when you can to those in need. Protect yourself and your babies at all costs. And protect others who don’t deserve abuse and hate.

Today I ask all of you to reflect on these last few years of distress and suffering, and start changing little by little. Protect yourselves, but don’t let your daughters buy into the TRAD Wife debacle. (Look it up; it’s real and a horrible thing happening right now with younger women.) Lend a helping hand whenever you can. You never know what kind words or deeds you give out each day will help someone in need. I love you all and wish you beautiful moments each day.