Possibilities

Winter is on its way and the snow has brought down the last of the leaves. The green is gone for another year, and we must be patient for spring. I am finished with the garden for another year. Possibilities are still forthcoming in my brain for the next season.        

Avoidance has left me a little somber. I have come full circle and am back at the desk, coming back to writing. Possibility lingers in the air and creating availability to write is a priority. Avoidance never gets you anywhere. My vintage lofty goals and expectations of actions that matter may make me obsolete in the eyes of some. Many of the people I meet have not been exposed to the underbelly of the big cities and rural America’s prejudice like I have. Strange how we think we know everything and yet when fear rears its ugly head the reactions change to thoughts and ideas that do not fit expectations. Our polite society has always been ambiguous at best and yet if we do not continue strive for it, society as we know it will go away. We must reach further every day to break down the barriers and create a society where it fulfills the hopes and dreams for everyone.

I implore you to have your own lofty goals and expectations. Create your own possibilities and act on them. Act with kindness, give care, speak your truth, be one less negative person in the world.

Embracing New Adventures in Life’s Next Phase

Today, I started a blog about addiction to clicks and likes but decided to go in another direction. Instead, I looked at my journal from 2023, after my only child left for college. It is worth publishing today.

I woke up to a more positive outlook today. I am trying to move onto this new phase in my life – reinvention of the self. What if I did not accomplish all the things I wanted to, and what if I was not as brave as I wanted to be? It is time to move on and create amazing new adventures. Knowing I can do that has given me new hope. Everyone who looks at me and expects me to be that little old lady is wrong. I strive to be heard in a unique way. Minute details and wrongness still bother me, and I continue to get caught in all the drama. But I take a moment to reflect on perceived dismissals (really stew about it). I calm my mind to get to the real internal conflict. I ask myself these questions: “How can I move on and work from a place where things make sense in this very moment?” “How do I filter the noise?”

Today is a new day to begin anew. There will always be wars, famine, and death. News will always include political craziness and sad stories. Do what you can, but don’t become overwhelmed.

Teachers will never live up to all your expectations. Learning will continue to be a struggle. Resolve to learn something new and complete a charitable deed each day. Figure out a way to live inside your thoughts and actions. It is how we deal with that noise that is critical to survival. Sometime, routine is the key ingredient to the creation of beautiful prose. When you read or hear something that makes you cry, you know that it has hit home in your heart. You know that the writing is beautiful. Writers are notorious loners when it comes to creating a story and I must learn to live with that. I get out when I need to and stay home to work.

I repeat. Today is a new day. Keep reminding yourself of this and know you are valued and loved. Take one step at a time! I look forward to hearing about your adventures.

Empathy and Positivity: Reflections from Emily Bleeker’s Novels

I have been immersed in the future apocalyptic world of my new novel. Therefore, I want to end the day with an upbeat message to readers.

We are all trying to cope every day with the ilk and despair that negative people and posts bring. If each person would just focus on one good thing that happened each day in their life, these sad people will not have a hold on us.

I recently completed reading a two-book fiction series by Emily Bleeker: When We Were Enemies and When We Chased the Light. These books were light reads about a small-town Indiana girl who became an incredible actor (Vivian Snow). She started out as a singer, working in the USO during WWII, and made it to the big screen. Although I did not agree with all her choices, I loved how she coped and what she revealed to the reader in the end. The quote headings are my interpretation:

Helping Others: “Very Rarely is judgment the correct response to a cry for help.”

Empathy and Understanding: “Perhaps we don’t have to be perfect—perhaps we only have to be better than what was given to us.”

Aging: “I’ve spent less time worrying about how I look and more time worrying about what meaning I’ll leave behind.”

Thank you, Emily, for this inspiring story and what we can take away. I resolve to be completely present in any given moment and interact with others with more meaningful dialogue. I look forward to your comments and what you are doing to help your mindset.

Marvin Harris: Insights on Culture and Evolution

Marvin Harris (August 18, 1927 – October 25, 2001), was an American anthropologist born in Brooklyn, New York City. He grew up a poor kid but joined the army when he was old enough, and fought in WWII. The GI Bill enabled him to attend Columbia University. As a result, he received both his MA and PhD in Anthropology from there. He later became the department chair. He performed fieldwork in Brazil and Portuguese-speaking Africa before joining the faculty at Columbia. He later went to the University of Florida where he was the Graduate Research Professor. He was a prolific writer in his field. Harris was among the few faculty leaders who sided with the students when they were threatened and beaten by the police in the 1960’s and 1970’s. He was highly influential in the development of cultural materialism and environmental determinism. Harris was known as “one of the most controversial anthropologists alive” (Smithsonian Magazine).

Harris’ observations in this introduction of his book, Our Kind: The Evolution of Human Life and Culture, made me read the entire book back in the early 1990s, and re-visit it today. Here are two thoughts to ponder for our modern-day dilemma.

“What part of the human condition is in our genes and what part in our cultural heritage, whether jealousy, war, poverty, and sexism are inevitable, and whether our species has a chance to survive?” And,

Educators have heated debates “…about what it is that anybody must know in order to be considered an educated person….” Harris states that historians and literary celebrities create “definitive lists of names, places, events and literary works guaranteed to lift the uneducated out of their…ignorance.” Harris’ reaction is that they focus on the achievements of Western societies and “…are silent about the great biological transformations that led to the appearance of our ancestors on earth” which “endowed our species with a unique capacity for culturally constructed adaptations.” In other words, they “…ignore the evolutionary principles that shaped the social life of our species after our ancestors achieved ‘cultural takeoff.’”

To put it more succinctly, the abstract for this book states: “Before consciousness formed and toolmaking began, before speech was learned and cultures were established, before religion, society, politics, and war, came a simple evolutionary change: One primate, our common ancestor took a single upright step. So began our family history. The story of ‘Our Kind.’” https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1989-98292-000

In the conclusion of my book, Discover the Life You Want to Live, I ask the reader to change the course of their lives by breaking their hidden boundaries and become comfortable in the world (of change). I ask people to cut through all their artificial barriers, have a social conscience, and understand their place in the universe. And finally, I ask them to create the desire to contribute and seek cooperation, and take personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, and actions, and share this idea with others.

I am asking everyone to calm their anger and wake up and stop speculating about the future. I am asking everyone to do what they need to do to create change in their community right now, to create this cultural takeoff at the grass roots level. Head up a writing campaign and send in the letters to your representatives when you feel strongly about inequities and present your ideas for change in a logical well-thought out letter. I am asking everyone to create a better life and support those in need.

It does not take money to act with kindness and love to everyone that surrounds you. Recognize chaos but RISE UP into your own positive position of power.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and what your action plans are to make the future shine bright in everyone’s life.

Simplifying Holiday Traditions for a Joyful Season

The holidays are fast approaching and I just wanted to check in to see how everyone is doing. I have turned off the news and am starting to get ideas for gifts. My goal is to keep up with the handcrafting and buying from places like Etsy, to get away from the Amazon site. Those little entrepreneurial souls out there need our help. There are beautiful jewelry and wood items that catch my eye. It fits my concept of mindful buying and giving with meaning. I know big retailers must make money as well to support the workers, but showing a little love for the small companies will make a difference to the owners and their families. Also, the craft shows are fun to explore for unique gifts.

As for the big family events, keep it simple. No devices or politics at the table. Invite one person who doesn’t have any family near them. Make cooking easy. Since it is only the two of us, it will be a small turkey and homemade sides for Thanksgiving. Our kiddo will be home at Christmas, so I am thinking ham, potatoes au gratin and greens for the Christmas feast. Decorating the tree is a tradition for all of us in the two weeks before Christmas, with our “fake tree” and eclectic ornaments. We will also be building the new addition to the Lego Village! (Santa’s post office and postal truck this year. Shout out to Lego!) Now this is my kind of holiday!

So try something new. Reduce the stress. Keep it simple. Give to the various Colorado Gives campaigns, donate new toys for those in need, make cookies or bread for the place you frequent the most (Louisville Rec Center for me), give handcrafted gifts, and donate your time to anyone who needs a hug. Love to you all at this time of year!

Embrace Your Path: Lessons from My Personal Journey

In 2012, I wrote and published a book called “Discover the Life You Want to Live.” (It is still available for purchase on Amazon.com if you are interested). Although it needs editing and updating, my message is still relevant to today’s challenging times. I called the book a Standard Operating Procedures Manual for Adult Mentors. I asked readers to engage in a discovery process to understand the life they wanted to live. I talked about my life and legacy and what I wanted to pass onto my child.

One message that I want to reiterate from the book is this line of thought:

Throughout my life, I have tried to have the attitude that we are all equal and everyone is at the place where they need to be at any given moment in their lives. If we constantly compare ourselves to those who are more successful, more glamorous, or more part of the popular crowd, we lose sight of why we are here on this planet. It should not be a contest. If I look around, I can see others better off than I am at any point in my life. They do not owe me anything. I do the best that I can with the life I have been given. I work one task at a time and make the best of that given moment. We are all in control of our own thoughts and our decisions lead us to our destinies. We are who we are, and we will get to where we need to be when the time comes. It may be a harder road than others, but we must own that path.

So, for today:

JUST BREATHE! Take a walk. Learn one new thing each day. Engage with one new person each day. And, keep writing!

New Age Meets Modern-Day Preppers – The World is Changing

New Age: People seeking to cultivate a more peaceful way of living and an elevated conscious experience. These folks also believe in a New Age of heightened spiritual consciousness, international peace, and an end to racism, poverty, sickness, hunger, and war.

When I was young and finally on my own, I embraced the “New Age” Movement. I focused on how I would improve myself in other ways than just believing in something outside and intangible. I admit I bought into the hype of products for a while. My love of rocks had me purchasing so many crystals that my house is full of them. It also took me to so many classes taught by the various self-proclaimed shamans and gurus. I loved the messages and tried to live my life a little better than my co-workers and friends. I wanted to try and pass on the message of the New Age theology to others in hopes of creating a better world in which we live. I liked the idea of inclusivity and acceptance of all personal perspectives on the divine being equally valid.

I recently read an article in the November Costco Magazine about a guy who is trying to do the same things I am doing, speaking to others with A Thankful Heart.” The article featured writer/motivational speaker David George Brooke. Although I practice the positive self-talk and journal most days, I want to work on the more “doing” side of things.

Recently, it has been the “I got mine, and to hell with you!” mentality, and I despair of that Prepper/Survivor mentality. Sure, we are all preppers in a way when we bulk buy at the local Costco, and we want our family to survive any catastrophe. But it is also a good thing to give half of your purchases to those in need. That is where the New Age teachings come into play. Something good can come out of every disaster.

If you are interested in my perspective on the “Worst Case Scenario,” see the post with this title from February 2, 2021: https://drutieben.com/2021/02/02/worst-case-scenario/

It is a pandemic rant about what could happen in the future. It was a little long, and a little negative, but I was going through what everyone else was – experiencing trauma. While I am still working on the grand conclusion of the Caitlin Ferguson Mysteries, Book III (hopefully published this year!) this blog still rings true of what we are experiencing right now (well, not the lock-in, but you know what I mean).

So be prepared, but with caution. Do not buy into the media hype about what you need to survive. Wake up! Get involved with your community and help those in need. I will constantly be repeating this in future blog posts. Be kind to yourself as well as other people. Tell others how grateful you are to have them in your life. And let me know what you have been doing of late to better yourself and others. Thanks!

Stay Positive: Community Support Ideas During Winter

Some of us are spiraling out of control with our fears of what the future holds. I would like you to just try to focus on today. Are you and your family safe right now? Right now, are you warm and fed?

If you want to venture out into this crazy snowstorm to help others, please do so. Ease your mind right now. Link up with the Denver Rescue Mission or your local version of a soup kitchen. Volunteer to feed people. Gather up your old sleeping bags, blankets, and used coats. Put them in your car and take them to the nearest shelter for those in need.

Shout out to your local municipality and ask: “How are we doing? How are we going to get through today and the next day? What can I do right now to help locally and globally?

If we sit at home and get more depressed, we won’t get through the winter. Keep doing your job to the best of your ability and make one person smile each day.

Get out to your local Senior Center and have lunch with those folks! Talk to them and make their day! (Just remember that most places would like you to call for a reservation and a small donation. So, call in advance.)

I’m donating on the Colorado Gives site: https://www.coloradogives.org/

As of today, there are 4,220 organizations listed on this site. I don’t have the funds to give millions (like some of our illustrious billionaires should be doing). But, I give a little to my favorite charities. Even if it is $25.00, $50.00, or even $100.00 that will help all those in need. It will ease your mind that you are doing something! And, of course, it’s a tax write-off!

I’m also knitting scarves like a madwoman to give away, and am stocking up for the holidays. I am keeping busy, trying to keep my family safe, and household in order. So let’s all do one thing each day to help another today. Let me know your ideas!

365 Days of Kindness: A Survival Plan for the Next Four Years

So, America decided. I spent a day grieving then fabricated a plan on how to cope. I will not stand by or continue the rhetoric of the new hate-filled world of the incoming administration. We will all suffer, but we must STRIVE to be that positive person people want to be around.

I produced my own plan on how to survive these next four years. Each day I will bring joy to those I both know and don’t know through words and small actions. I’m calling it the 365-day Kindness Calendar. It is my hope to post words of encouragement and commit to one act of kindness a day over the next 4 years. It might be as simple as answering a text for those in need stating, “Hang in There!” It could be as simple as paying it forward in a store or a restaurant. Or giving to your local food banks such as: Community Food Share in Louisville, CO  https://communityfoodshare.org EFAA in Boulder, CO  https://www.efaa.org/

Or, just saying thank you to those we forget about who are just doing their jobs. Or, listening and encouraging a friend in need with your positive feedback. Or, making a joyful noise with the Senior Choir to those in Memory Care.

These acts do not have to be dramatic and life changing. They just need to be small and meaningful to those who are and will be struggling in the future. We must believe in each other once again. We must continue to educate ourselves in history and civics to understand our past and plan for our future. We can choose to read uplifting books and watch movies that can make blockbuster change!

Yes, I am sad that the nation went this way and let their fears of the future guide their votes. But I know we can get through it without becoming those negative people older Americans and youngsters exemplify. Staying positive is the only way to survive.

We cannot change all the negative and hurtful feelings in others, but we can still strive to be that shining light.

I encourage all of you to be a part of my new movement, making the first act to be kind to each other and stop the negative talk. Make this holiday season merrier and continue to strive for positivity in the new year. Tell your family and friends you love them and journal your thoughts, either in a notebook or aloud on your posts. I love you all and thank you for listening!

Thought for Today

When did people stop listening to each other?

What do you do when someone stops you in mid-sentence, dismisses anything you say as Fake News and immediately start espousing their beliefs that they heard through their friends? When you try to tell them how thoroughly you have researched your topic you are speaking about, they say they don’t want to talk about it and then continue to talk over you, attacking you for what you know because it doesn’t fit with their beliefs? Also, why do others want you to believe what they believe? Are they afraid of looking within themselves and finding out that they are wrong and do not want to open their minds to reality? Why do others have the right to say what is right for all others, and especially women?

Everyone has the right to have opinions, but opinions based on lies and male-dominated religious beliefs and classic 1950s sitcoms should not affect everyone else. Whether we have a law passed or not, whether others’ religion puts down women, should not be the basis to oppress all women and put us back into the past. Stop being silly!