Tag Archives: love

Expectations and Control

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I have been pondering of late why we are so stressed out that we can’t even think and do the simplest of tasks. I think the negative energy surrounding us is so strong that we feel like we are out of control of our everyday lives. We cope by wanting to place our burden onto someone else for a moment. We don’t want to resolve our own problems yet we get upset with others when we put it on them and it doesn’t turn out the way we think it should. Our cognitive dissonance kicks in. Our mind spirals out of control. We are thinking that we both love the person trying to help us, and hate them for coming up with a solution at the same time. It is hard to understand that we are thankful that they tried to help us, but hate them because it wasn’t the solution we were hoping or looking for to solve the problem, and, as a result, we get angry and disappointed.

Our expectations of everything getting better, when a lot of things are getting worse, make us on edge and we don’t know what to expect. And it doesn’t help that the media is keeping it out there. We start to hate the people and events that don’t fit into our world, and start agreeing with the most egregious acts. We want to believe that everything is wonderful for us and all that is out there is affecting everyone else, not us. Well, I’m here to tell you, bad things are happening to EVERYONE. It’s how we deal with our daily lives and expectations that makes us survive in an unpleasant situation. It’s how we deal with others and treat them that makes us human beings and members of a society that only we can make better.

So here is my thought for today. Things in your bubble can be better if you treat others the way you want to be treated. Things in your bubble will get better if you take a break from the doomsday news and greet someone with love and kindness each day. Things in your bubble will get better if you believe you are in control of your own bubble and expect greatness of yourself. Be brave!

Finally, here are a few things I want to pass on to you after this crazy week I had:

  • I know you’re busy, but take some time to read the instructions. Find out why something isn’t working to your satisfaction.
  • Don’t blame the person on the phone.
  • You are expected to be an adult and take responsibility for researching the problem. The person you have called to fix a problem can help you, but it is ultimately your responsibility to understand why the problem exists and how to fix it in the future.
  • Slow down and take a breath before speaking.
  • Follow along when someone is trying to tell you something.
  • Contrary to popular belief the world doesn’t revolve around you!
  • We can get through it together. We all have to work together to fix any problem. It will take time. And remember, there is only so much time in a workday. There is never enough workers, and there are lots of jobs to do in a day!

Finally, I know I am prone to this, but I believe that we cannot isolate ourselves in a cocoon while all this is going on. Sure, we can turn off the news, but the buzz will always be around us. So here’s a thought: Take one hour for yourself, and take one hour for someone else each day that you live on this plane of existence.
For yourself, take a walk with your dog, or just by yourself. Go out and weed (I know! I know! But it really is fulfilling!) In a few weeks, plant your garden. Go swim and sing in the lap lane! Put your headphones on and get on the treadmill! Watch the movie A Complete Unknown and be taken back in time.

For others, walk and talk with them and listen to what they have to say. Be there in person and on the phone and in the present moment to help someone solve a problem. Try not to get frustrated with them because they are frustrated. And, read a wonderful tale of love and triumph. Purchase and read How We Learn to Be Brave by Mariann Edgar Budde and “…be responsible for your rose [from Le Petit Prince]…[and] “…Be a person upon whom others [can] depend and relish the days when nothing important seems to be happening….”

I love you all and I trying to live in the present moment every day even when it is hard. I ask that you to do the same!

May the 4th be with you!!!

Corporate America Needs to WAKE UP!

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Or: Why is Corporate America so Ridiculously Stupid?
I have been pondering all of the cutbacks happening right now that affect celebrations of our heritage. People who have never been oppressed (generally, white people) and those that are in power say DEI is discriminatory. BIPOC people say it’s about inclusion of everyone and recognizing that all people aren’t white. I am in agreement with the BIPOC folks. We have never discriminated against the majority of white folks getting a job. Everyone else has to fight every step of the way to make others see beyond the differences. They have to fight their way into the job market, or housing, or other essentials necessary to live in our society.

Cutting back and refusing to give to endeavors that celebrate life and people in all of their colorful display is shameful. Traditional events are still ongoing, and are getting funded from corporations, so why do the people with money think it’s bad news to give funding to events like Juneteenth or Pride festivals? I am asking those who have all the purse strings right now to WAKE UP!

I am asking all citizens to stop being afraid of having conversations regarding how corporations are spending their money. And I am asking corporate CEOs to stop being afraid of those in power (that guy in office) who says it’s not cool to help others who have differences than you, particularly their heritage or lifestyle. Remember that no one who has immigrated to North America at any time was a pure white person. We all have bits and pieces of everything inside and that’s what makes us a great person, and an even better nation! We all have to figure out this fear inside that makes us pull back from our differences. We all have to trust in that Golden Rule and decide that this simple way of living will make you a better person. Here are a few quotes that might help you recognize this:

  • “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” ~ John Wesley
  • “Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.” ~ Barbara Bush
  • “The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life.” ~ Henry Ford
  • “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ~ Maya Angelou
  • “It is from the numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” ~ Robert Kennedy
    https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/giving-to-others.html

We need to have conversations about this and other subjects regarding what is right regarding the treatment of others in this world.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A good conversation is not a group of people making a series of statements at [emphasis mine] each other….A good conversation is an act of joint exploration….A good conversation sparks you to have thoughts you never had before.”

We all think we are better than others at communicating but we haven’t really been taught how to have real two-way conversations. It is a difficult concept to master and we need to work at being better at listening. We all have something to say on every subject but sometimes it’s okay to get beyond our self-inhibitions and actively participate equally. We must acknowledge the other person in the conversation with respect, but a shouting match is not communicating with each other. Try to overcome what triggers your feelings and think about what is being said by the other person.

We can overcome anything if we reach consensus at what is being said and done in this world. I will never back down on my belief in equality, equity, and inclusion. It’s time to start the conversation once again and unite as a people, defying those in power who will not rise above the madness. And, once again, give a little bit of your time and money to those who participate in the worldwide celebrations of life.

Love to all and enjoy the springtime, including all of us weeds!

Observations on Aging and the Unobtainable

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Or: I’m Allergic to Botox! Having never been in the Most Beautiful Girl in the Room Club, I don’t understand why so many of us women are obsessed with doing everything in their power to look young and beautiful forever. And then, make it our objective to diminish and pick apart the flaws of those who are noticed by a different sex more than we are. Why do we resent this acknowledgement of others’ beauty? Why don’t we women stick together and rally for all of our outer and inner beauty as well as all of our accomplishments? Why do we gang up on those that are either less beautiful, or so beautiful that others turn their attention to them? Why can’t we be happy with who we are at any given moment?

I recently read a series called The Wilder Widows by Katherine Hastings (who is neither a senior nor a widow, by the way). It was a nice light read and allowed me a minute to laugh at these senior and widowed ladies’ adventures and discoveries of who they had become. One of the widows that I found particularly discouraging about her thoughts of what she felt she had to be, and what her life choices were. She believed that she didn’t deserve unconditional love. The character grew up in a poor household and didn’t have anything. She was belittled for her long legs and looks when she was a child and swore she would rise above it all. She became a trophy wife and eventually a Las Vegas dancer. Each year it got harder and harder to keep up with the younger generation and the beauty regimens that include, Botox, or facelifts had begun to fail her. When her husband died, she inherited his wealth and status. She continued to be the life of the party and had many sexual encounters with younger and younger men. But, she hadn’t yet found true love (if there is such a thing). When she finally decided (with the help of her friends) that she could take a chance on a person she loved, she had a hard time with showing him the real person underneath all the spackle. But, like any true love story, it all worked out in the end. She told him her real age, and what was happening to her body, and he took her into his arms and said he loved her and wanted to grow old with her no matter what.

We all obsess over what we should feel and look like. Although the media has gotten better at portraying beauty and joie de vivre in women of all shapes and sizes, there are so many of us that still feel the pain of being the weird, nerdy shy kid (me), or that tall skinny kid (my sister), or that really poor kid, or that fat kid down the street that everyone teased, or that kid who dressed funny because they didn’t identify as a male or female. We didn’t fit into the perceived mold, and felt estranged of what a kid should be (the portrayal of what was a normal kid) at that time.

We all age differently and we have to try and accept where we are at any time in our lives. Sure I can’t keep up with the twenty-somethings, but that doesn’t stop me from exercising. Sure I don’t look like what I did in my twenties, but I am happy where I am at this time in my life. I stopped obsessing on finding just the right outfit and wear what I want. Now, if I could only find the right shoes to make my feet happy, I would be in heaven on earth!

Aging can enlighten us, or inhibit us. If we use it as an excuse because we are afraid to try something new, we miss out. If we fear of being left alone, because our spouse might go before us, we need to embrace the fact that one of us will probably die before the other and prepare ourselves for embracing some alone time. If we have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) we need to do all the things that we want to do together while we are alive. A friend of mine who became a doctor once said to me: “Currently, there is no cure for aging.” While that is partially true, we should think about the concept that aging does not need a cure because it is not a disease. We have to take that personal responsibility that we will change as we age, and that’s okay. We can focus on what is important at any given time and save the rest for a later date. If our skin gets dry, we use lotion. If we want to keep our hair gray, that’s okay, but a little color can go a long way. If our body hurts more than when we were young, we just do something different. It’s okay to slow down and walk, instead of run. It’s okay to take a day off and rest. And, if we forget names, we keep a journal and/or make lists of things that are important to us. We can take steps to enjoy all the times in our lives. I plan on being that 130-year-old grandma who has a whoop-it-up dance party to celebrate my life. More information on age and aging and other subjects on how to live a great life can be found in my book Discover the Life You Want to Live.

What we look out on the outside doesn’t define who we are on the inside. Everything we do in life and our actions in the world is a part of who we are at any time in our lives. To some women, image is everything. Accepting ourselves the way we are at any given moment is the most important thing we can achieve in life.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A person is a point of view [emphasis mine].” He said that “Your mind creates a world, with beauty and ugliness…and you live within that construction….” We all have our perception of beauty and staying young. We can embrace the world at any time if we support each other and respect where we are at any given moment.

I love you all tonight and hope you are having a wonderful night wherever you may be (in time and space!)

A Guide to Adulting: Building Patience and Managing Bills

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The week started out with a woman shouting into my ear on the telephone, causing me to pull the headset off. I was trying to figure out what she wanted. I process out loud, so I’m sure she just thought if she said it louder I could understand her. I eventually got her to stop shouting and figured out who she needed to talk to, but WOW! They heard her in the other room of my office! As I have stated so many times before on this blog as well as in real life, “People, just take a breath, and wait a few minutes!” Have a little respect for those on the other end of the conversation and give us a second to process what you need to know.

I ponder every day about what the underlying factor of our impatience and discontent with the universe is right now. I understand there are too many negative thoughts and actions that are occurring in our world out there, and there is not much we can do about all of them, all at once. But I also understand that anything worth doing takes patience and we can get there one task at a time if we just try.

According to Psychology Today:
“The word impatience is “im” + “patience,” which, on its face, means “a lack of patience.” Patience seems like a substantial thing—a specific mental process. By contrast, impatience is thought to be nothing but a lack of patience. But this gets things backwards: Impatience, it turns out, is a very particular mental and physical process that gets triggered under specific circumstances, and which motivates specific kinds of decisive action. “Patience” is really the shadow term, signifying a lack of impatience.”

It’s important to understand the “seven laws of impatience.” If we go through the steps before we ask someone else help us figure out our problem, we might get there without shouting the poor person on the receiving end.

  1. Impatience is not a lack of patience.
  2. Impatience is triggered when we have a goal, and realize it’s going to cost us more than we thought to reach it.
  3. Impatience motivates us to reduce the costs of reaching our goal, or to switch goals.
  4. Impatience and indignation are a potent combination.
  5. We’re more likely to feel impatient when we have more options.
  6. Impatience can cost us.
  7. Impatience can benefit us.

And as a final note, here are the questions that appeared in the article that we should attempt to answer before we cause grief in others who are trying to help us:

  1. “What is my goal?
  2. What did I think it was going to cost to reach this goal?
  3. What are the additional costs I’m now aware of?
  4. Am I blaming others for these extra costs?
  5. Is it truly their fault?
  6. Is it worth taking on even more costs just to teach them a lesson?
  7. Do I have too many options?
  8. Should I find a way to limit my exposure to new options?
  9. Are there ways to reduce the costs of reaching this goal?
  10. Is it time to abandon this goal?”

Put simply: “Knowledge is power.” The more often you work out a problem and get your own solution, before asking for help, the more tasks you will be able to complete by yourself. You are smarter than you think and mastering something makes you feel good inside as well as accomplished! For more information, go to this article:
7 Laws of Impatience

The second part of this blog is about understanding your spending and how to pay your bills on time every month. I know that websites are hard to navigate sometime, and government systems are old, cranky, clunky and in dire need of renovation, but it doesn’t seem that hard to navigate if you read the instructions a few times before giving up.

It is my hope that all parents teach their children how to do adulting before they move out of the nest. There should be a complete manual for change for adulthood that gets handed out to children before they move out of their parents’ home. For example, one item in the book should be this:
The more we procrastinate on paying our bills, the more they add up until we become overwhelmed. And we must realize that there are consequences to not paying a bill – such as not having, electricity, heat, and water. It’s that slap in the face that should give us a wake-up call to this reality. The current situation we are in at this time makes it extremely hard to make ends meet if we are not the wealthy few. But isn’t it better to slow the credit card purchases down, and sacrifice things such as QVC buying, movies, and Door Dash orders before giving up basic needs such as heat, food, and water?

One of the greatest inventions of all times is a spreadsheet. It’s so easy to put one together. Record you expenses in one column and your income in another column. Subtract what you spend from what you make each month. And don’t forget to add a little bit to your savings every paycheck and place that in your expense column. It will add up and you can then treat yourself to something fun at the end of the year! Watch your credit card spending and know your limits. It’s as simple as that. Find a tutor to help you the first time, or go to your bank and ask them for help. I love the folks at my credit union. They helped me when I first started making my own money. I never had a lot of money, but my Dad taught me a lot of things about money and how to stretch a dollar (Okay I know it’s more these days). Even with these volatile  times, we can persevere and take care of our daily living expenses. Don’t panic yet! We can all get through it if we find the patience.

I love you all on this crazy spring night. Snow is coming!

I Don’t Have Time or Energy for Divas

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RAIN! YES! We worked all weekend cleaning up the gardens and watered everything so of course we got rain! But now I am so happy for it and all the better for those wonderful plants! Flowers are blooming and birds are chirping! We went to Home Depot and bought 10 bags of the $2.00 mulch, 2 bags of potting soil, and 10 bags of raised bed soil. Now we wait. I am excited to plant the vegetable garden when the snow is done (always much later out here, usually after Mother’s Day!) Life is a beautiful thing!

But here’s my soul-searching thought for today:
Why do we put up with divas? The term has become more than the original idea of being an incredible female singer (goddess-like) from the 19th century. According to Wikipedia, “Women are often referred to as divas if they are difficult, temperamental and demanding.” The adoring public has now extended this idea to both men and women. Take a look at all of those reality shows that are on TV as well as what is going on in the political world. I am not a fan of anyone acting out like when I flip through shows like the Bachelor, Bachelorette, or the Housewives. Why do people watch these shows? Why do people pay attention to rich, spoiled people or the people wanting to become them? I understand I am not their target audience, but when it moves out into the real world that is disheartening. These people are not roll models we should strive to become in our world.

A little humility goes a long way. Sometimes it’s okay to just blend in the background and listen to what is going on out there. I don’t need adulation or recognition for what I do every day. I am happy with who I am at this time in my life. Every day, I try to convince others that they are beautiful people and should be happy with who they are right now. They don’t have to act out like a child craving attention. They can be happy with themselves if they just take a breath before they spew nonsense or hate others for their differences. We can all become a little happier each day if we embrace humility and love each other. We can blend into the world and live in harmony if we just become the best person we know how to be. We can shine a light on ourselves when we are good at something and respect others for what they are good at. This can easily be done at the same time. Everyone is good at something. Enjoy those things you love, and help others learn something new every day.

Become the person like those Wilder Widows (so much fun to read this series by Katherine Hastings). Check them out and laugh a lot at their shenanigans. Be like them and have your own adventures with your crazy and fun friends.

So, let’s all just try and take a breath of the rain-cleared air tonight and be happy where we are at this moment in our lives. Let’s have adventures in our own way and love and respect those we come into contact with every day. I love you all tonight. Have a great week!

Crazy Activism and The Big Streak!

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Hands-Off Protests Nationwide
Colorado rallies alone took place in Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, Loveland, Longmont, Greeley, and Highlands Ranch. Nationwide protests happened today against the atrocities being committed by that guy in office. Many of my friends went to the one in Boulder and Denver and I give them a thumbs up. They were brave enough to step up for what they believe. For more information on what is happening go to: https://www.yahoo.com/news/protesters-tee-off-against-trump-191321348.html?fr=yhssrp_catchall

Comments from the White House are abhorrent. Shakespeare was right in his statement, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” When you have the press secretary parroting the words about fraud and abuse when programs are cut, you wonder why she is the representative for the highest office. She should be ashamed of herself and resign. No one wants to hear that. We know what is going on. The highest elected official doesn’t have a conscience.

In 2020, after the George Floyd incident, the president strode across Washington with his military minions, in order to be photographed holding a bible in front of St. John’s church. He had recently ordered  As he held up an upside-down bible he stated that “this is a great country” and turned and left without speaking. This was his statement, as though this explained his order to remove protesters by force. Bishop Budde spoke out against this man. She told reporters, “President Trump does not speak for St. John’s.” She also stated, “Let me be clear: the president just used a Bible, the most sacred text of the Judeo-Christian tradition, and one of the churches in my diocese, without permission, as a backdrop for a message antithetical to the teachings of Jesus [Emphasis mine)]. Everything he has said and done is to inflame violence. We need moral leadership, and he’s done everything to divide us.”—How We Learn to Be Brave by Mariann Edgar Budde, Episcopal Bishop of Washington

When President Trump was elected once again, Biship Budde spoke out. Trump attended church services in her church after the inauguration. In her sermon, she pleaded with him to embrace compassion and strive for unity. She stated there were three foundations for unity:

  1. “Honoring the inherent dignity of every human being. In public discourse, honoring each other’s dignity means refusing to mock, discount, or demonize those with whom we differ, choosing instead to respectfully debate across our differences, and whenever possible, to seek common ground. If common ground is not possible, dignity demands that we remain true to our convictions without contempt for those who hold convictions of their own.”  
  2. “Honesty in both private conversation and public discourse. If we aren’t willing to be honest, there is no use in praying for unity, because our actions work against the prayers themselves.”
  3. “Humility, which we all need, because we are all fallible human beings. We make mistakes. We say and do things that we regret. We have our blind spots and biases, and we are perhaps the most dangerous to ourselves and others when we are persuaded, without a doubt, that we are absolutely right and someone else is absolutely wrong. Because then we are just a few steps away from labeling ourselves as the good people, versus the bad people.” 

In her final plea to him, she stated: “Let me make one final plea, Mr. President. Millions have put their trust in you. As you told the nation yesterday, you have felt the providential hand of a loving God. In the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now.”
Bishop Budde’s Sermon

I hope that all of this activism will make changes in awareness and help people see the light. However, I don’t believe it has helped in those in the states where contentious people, mostly republicans, are still being voted into office (recently, Florida). The only way to make a change is to keep challenging the people who continue to believe in all of their politician’s nonsensical rhetoric. Keep challenging these folks about the way they vote. Continue to question them by asking them why they believe that their representatives who keep spouting misinformation and not showing up to town halls are representing them, the people. Continue to ask them why they believe it is all right to dismiss people in need or who are not like them.

But let’s take a moment to divest from this seriousness. In 1974, I was in college at the University of Georgia. This was an era of Watergate and Vietnam. Militants had kidnapped newspaper heiress Patty Hearst in February. Gas was short and pump lines long. Streaking (running naked on campus) became a phenomena on all college campuses and events everywhere. It became a competition. Media touted it as simply being springtime college antics and youthful hormones. Some organizers stated that they were just determined to set a record that had gotten away. The University set the record with a culminating event where over 1500 students gathered and streaking on campus.

While I was on my way to becoming a police officer, I saw these actions in a different light. My life choices have colored my experiences with protests. I saw it as a challenge to let things happen in a peaceful manner, while controlling the civil disobedience in a kinder way than the way it was handled in the 1960s. I believe all have the right to protest and not be beaten half to death. I believe both sides can keep it peaceful. We don’t have to exercise extreme force on either side. And, for crying out loud, keep the guns at home. When has that ever solved anything? Think about it. If you are naked, where would you put a gun? Huh? Huh?

Gotta love the 70s! Have fun tonight checking out these hindsight articles regarding the streaking craze!

The Big Streak
https://www.americanheritage.com/streaking-fad
https://jimnicar.com/2013/04/11/the-bare-facts-of-streaking/
https://oxfordeagle.com/2016/12/03/ole-miss-streaking-in-the-1970s/
https://magazine.washington.edu/streaking-fad-of-the-70s-once-ran-through-uw/
https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a27305183/history-of-streaking/

I love you all and I hope for a better world and loving people everywhere!

We Can’t Give Up!

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Or: Or How to Change the Regression to the Past.
Today was a self-reflection and a day of discord. The more I read, the more I worry about what the people who believe in this current administration and what they are letting happen to us. All I want to emphasize tonight is that this contentiousness and hatred has to stop. We cannot regress to a past era that was hopeless for all the little people in the world. We are 327 million strong and we can band together in a just cause. We cannot support or become the kind of person who wants control of others so they feel better about themselves.

It’s time to rally for change and stop the anger at the people who are being persecuted. We can do this in a peaceful manner. We can fight the ridiculous billionaires if we ignore their tantrums and demand they change for the betterment of all people. We can stand up in our place of work to that guy in office like Mariann Edgar Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington D.C., who peacefully confronted him at the beginning of his term. She has an excellent book called How We Learn to Be Brave and I encourage you to read it to learn from her. She is that very example of a brave person that I am talking about and want to emulate!

I still believe that media should step up like the old days and call attention to those in office that are doing and saying awful things, even if they are banned from the White House. I still believe that education is the key to create change from this chaos. The more we put out positive statements on every media outlet, the more we can create change.

Every day we have to persuade those that are still enamored of that guy in office and his minions that he is not good for the people or the country. Every day we need to plan for his assault on rational America and convince those in power to keep fighting for democracy now and in the future. Change is hard, but we can have momentum if we keep making tiny little changes locally and stop being afraid of what’s going to happen to our money. We are bigger than that. We have to get into the trenches of the downtrodden and help each other on a daily basis. Fear is what they want. We have to be fearless so our children can become the citizens we want them to be.

I still believe that we can move forward. I refuse to buy into throwing up my hands and believing “Nothing can be done.” Let’s make small changes every day we live. We can take back the statement “Make America Great Again” from the ridiculous people and truly extend that to all those in North America and around the world. Reach out your hand and join everyone who believe there is still hope.

Live in this moment as though your life depends on it. Enough said.

I send love to all those out there who are frightened in hopes they will read this and believe that things will change for the better.

See the Beauty in the Dark While You are Still in It

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–Quote for title is from The Flower Sisters, by Michelle Collins Anderson
Even in the darkest times, the stars will shine in the night skies, and bring hope to those who look up. Darkness can be calming, or it can become a nightmare. It’s how you interact with it that makes your life better or worse. If you can embrace your life as it is, knowing that the sun will, indeed, come up tomorrow, you can live in your own skin. You can accept that there will always be dark times, but hope does spring eternal, and we can look forward to another day of living.

Today was a reflection day of where we are going and why the turmoil is making us frazzled human beings. A co-worker died just a few days ago and it was a shock to my system. He was younger than me, and seemed in good health. Although we didn’t know each other well, we shared funny jokes and silliness. We had just said “Hey” to each other a few days ago and didn’t think anything of it. Sometimes I feel I am lucky that I haven’t gotten there yet, aches and pains and all. And sometimes I wonder what it will be like when my time comes. Will there be an afterlife? Will I come back? Answers that are beyond me at this point even though I ponder it. I hope for a very long life and sharing knowledge and love every day that I am given on this planet. I hope this co-worker found peace and happiness wherever and whenever he is in this time-space continuum. In Anderson’s book, The Flower Sisters, the grandmother was an undertaker for her small town, and had this to say when receiving a body and regarding death: “No one is special; no one is spared. It is a concept that is both infuriating and comforting, depending on my mood….”

As we age, we all think of ourselves as that eighteen-year-old kid who was bright-eyed and prepared for anything: going off to college, or trade school, traveling the world, or to fight in a  war. And we fled our homes in hopes that our lives would have meaning and we would make a difference in the world. We wanted to change who we were. We wanted to be different from our parents and ancestors. Yet, we understood that we couldn’t change where or who we’d come from, but those old places we lived, depending on the history, the good and the bad feelings, would stay with us throughout our lives. Many of us decided to stay close to home, and live our lives, in close proximity to our families and on our ancestors’ lands. But many of us ventured out into the world and tried to become someone else. The memories and heritage would always stay with us, but some of us knew that we wanted to create a different community and raise our families with those who were more likely to embrace a future that would be better for all.

Hopefully, we all found our place in the world, and our stories mingled with those new people in our lives. Hopefully, we were able to reconcile where we came from and where we were headed: towards a different future.

There will always be those heritage memories and some of us are able to reconcile our past with our current states. Some of us write about these memories to help us have a heart that is full but also open to new adventures and live a life that is full of love.

It’s hard to think of yourself as aging and needing help in the future. It’s hard to talk about parents that are gone, or aren’t aging as well as you are. But, we have to take care of our past, and our elders and pass on this sense of duty to our children.

My hope is that when we need help, our child will understand that it’s okay to help us take care of ourselves. We don’t want to become elders, yet it is going to happen. My questions for tonight are: “Why is this such a hard concept to those in power? Why is our country diminishing those in need right now?” Is it because they are afraid to get old? Don’t they understand that no amount of money will buy you out of your ending? It will happen when it happens.

I am taking this opportunity to tell the world this: Take care of yourself, but also take care of your elders. It’s okay if they weren’t the greatest parents and grandparents to you. They did the best they could. And I would like to tell the people in power: Take a moment to reflect before you cut services to those in need.

I love you all, and hope you can wrap your arms around those you hold dear. Hold them close as long as you can.

Interconnectedness

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Today’s reflection is about how we are connected in the world and how we communicate through the airwaves. The dictionary describes connectedness as the state of being connected and having a close relationship with other things or people. I believe that each person is their own distinct, physical being, but they can be connected to each other and nature in many ways. Connectedness is not necessarily bound by physical touch or language. Sometimes we just know something is going on, for example in a dream, or a stray thought. Years ago, I knew when each parent died. They came in my dreams to say goodbye. There are many examples that we have where we just knew something, the feeling that something was wrong, or got something in the mail that we knew was coming, and we called to check on the people that we loved.

We feel the emotions amplifying in a crowd, especially fear and anger. Perhaps that’s why we are feeling despair and discontent over decisions that are being made in the highest offices. We feel what over fifty percent of people are collectively feeling. Our interconnectedness is physical, emotional, and cognitive. Our global shared consciousness reaches out into all of our mental spaces. We are not individual islands and must become part of a bigger world, the ocean of mental waves.

If we share this despair, perhaps we can determine at a higher level that we are not alone in our thoughts and reach out to each other in our mental states. We should be free to keep the memories of the past, but make new memories and friends who share a common goal – protecting democracy and the people of all nations and races. Billionaires should learn from their families’ histories and be better human beings. They should learn how to connect with all those who are in need. Fascism cannot reign and must not be ignored in our society. It happened once before, and we wholeheartedly fought it. We must fight the good fight right now and restore a fair and balanced world. We have buried our forefathers and now we are the elders. We must act like the good and kind ones, and make progress towards fixing what has been broken, one little act of kindness at a time.

In Alice Hoffman’s latest book, The Bookstore Keepers, she stated, “Some things [will] always be remembered because they [are] handed down, things like love and memories and stories.”

For the rest of our lives, let’s remember the love and the beautiful stories handed down to us by telling our children about our past, both good and bad things that happened and what we learned as a result of our actions or in-actions. Let’s ask them not to repeat the bad parts of history and strive to make the world a better, and more peaceful place to live out their lives.

I love you all and wish only the best each day. Hugs tonight for those who need it.

It’s Not My Time

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  • “It’s not my time, I’m not going. There’s a fear in me. It’s not showing. This could be the end of me, and everything I know. Oh, I won’t go.”—Three Doors Down
  • “We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.”—John F. Kennedy
  • “Time is free, but it’s priceless.”—Harvey MacKay
  • “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead.”—Harry Potter 
  • “A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life.”—Charles Darwin
  • “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”—Bil Keane
  • “It’s not the time in your life; it’s the life in your time.”—Bruce Springsteen. 
  • “Time waits for no one.”—Geoffrey Chaucer from The Canterbury Tales
  • “The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.”—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It’s not my time is a concept that we all struggle with throughout our lifetime, and yet there is no one clear cut answer to the question of when will my time actually materialize. We may think it will never come, or we may just avoid the question completely, especially when it comes to our end of life and we feel we haven’t finished everything we wanted to accomplish.

But what is time in the grand scheme of things? It can often refer to a mindset where someone believes a particular opportunity, situation, or life event is not happening for them yet. It suggests that a sense of waiting for the right moment, often tied to feelings of patience, destiny, or a belief that things will align when the time is right. If we settle for what is available right now, and it is not perfect, we may regret it. It may limit our possibilities. But a willingness to wait for something better creates inaction, leading to apathy in the present. Neither is a solution to resolve a current problem.

Sometimes, it’s not my time can be a way to avoid taking risks or making decisions due to fear of potential negative outcomes, creating a self-protective mechanism. We become afraid to think outside the box and just go with the flow with the rest of the world. We don’t want to stick out in the crowd because of fearful consequences. It’s crucial to assess whether it’s not my time is a helpful coping mechanism or a way to avoid taking necessary action. If we stay passive and let life pass us by, or take no action because of fear, we become victims, and that is not a good place to be. We are stronger than that as human beings. We know deep in our hearts we can make the time to teach others how to overcome fear and advocate for action. We know how to create that resilience in others to stand up to all of the injustices in the world.

Some individuals may strongly believe in a predetermined path in life, where certain events are meant to happen at specific times, leading to a sense of resignation or passive acceptance. I’m not ready to give up. I never believed in a predetermined life path and I’m certainly not going to give up and accept things that are just not right in the world, especially right now. I will keep shining a light (or paragraphs) on issues that must be addressed to help us heal and not be so angry all the time.

No matter how much we wish to stop time when hardship is on the horizon, we can’t go against it. The biggest favor we can do ourselves is to accept the passage of time, both when good and bad things happen. But the sooner we face our (and the world’s) troubles, the sooner they’ll be over. Every individual can make a difference.

So, yes, it’s not my time to give up. It’s my time to shine. It’s your time to do the same thing. I love you all and warm thoughts go out to you tonight!