Tag Archives: mental-health

We Cannot All Be In Charge

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Or: It’s Okay to have Some Ground Rules of Conduct and Etiquette!
I have been pondering this of late because I am involved in a few volunteer groups now. I didn’t volunteer much when I was working full-time and now that I have actually gone back to work (again) part-time, I want to enjoy the experience of my volunteer group. For example, I want to make a difference in my own little way by singing to those in memory care. They seem to enjoy it and it is a good learning experience for me. But sometimes the group is in discord and I don’t like to be there when there is so much drama. So, I have a few things to say about people who cause chaos without them even thinking about it:

Sometimes it’s okay to say what you need to say, but sometimes it’s okay to just sit and listen. If you want to be a leader of the group, I suggest you form your own group. If you don’t want to be the leader, then shut up and listen to the leader. This needs to be stated because some people just don’t get it, no matter how many times others tell them. It is a process to learn how to be a part of a group. And as we age, we forget the rules because we have been making the rules up as we go for a long time.

Having said all that, there should be a handout given when a new person joins the group. It should be a documented set of rules, regulations, or simply a statement of conduct and etiquette regarding how you participate in said group. And everyone should agree to follow said rules and/or statements by signing them, just like we all did in middle and high school.

Group dynamics can make or break a group. We can all get in the flow of things and make a cohesive effort to create something wonderful, or we can stay in our teeny tiny world and sit out. I think it’s easier to cooperate with a group I have joined and help out with the skills I have. I don’t need to belittle others so I feel better. For further information about group dynamics, go to: https://psychology.tips/group-dynamics/

I also trust that the group I join will all be amazing with great leadership in charge. There are many leadership styles, and sometimes I don’t always agree with what is being presented to me at the time, but I try to go with the flow and learn from the experience. There is a great article regarding leadership that I recommend you read:
https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/characteristics-good-leader/

We are all powerful and accomplished individuals. And yet sometimes we just have to listen and meld with the group. Sometimes a leader yells at you because you aren’t listening. I am sure this happened to you many times in the past and you got through it. So I just want to say something out loud in my own way to that new unhappy person in our choir: Just Chill! We are all in this together and just because you want things your way because you’re new and came from another place that did things differently, you are not in charge of what we do. The group doesn’t have to listen to your needs. We listen to our Director. She makes us happy to sing together and that’s what it is all about, SINGING TOGETHER the best way we know, under the guidance of the leader of the pack.

I am in charge of my own life, but life has a way of getting in the way of things no matter how hard I plan ahead and how hard I want things to always go my own way. And, although I refuse to stop leaping into the unknown, and refuse to go quietly into the night when it is my time, I am prepared to join with others make something work and sing the songs of life and love.

I recommend that we all can become part of the pack if we want to participate together in something wonderful. Lightening the load of one person makes it easier. Not everyone can be in charge, but we can all work together to make magic happen and things flow smoothly. We can  make beautiful music as a group. We can each take on a task that helps everyone. Divide up the duties to make it easier on any leader. I just think everyone needs to evaluate a group before they join. And if a group you are in doesn’t work for you, that’s okay, too. You just need to decide to leave and Go Your Own Way! Fleetwood Mac, Go Your Own Way

I love you all tonight and hope you are enjoying the garden as much as I am! Stop a moment and smell the flowers, and get ready for planting season!

Corporate America Needs to WAKE UP!

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Or: Why is Corporate America so Ridiculously Stupid?
I have been pondering all of the cutbacks happening right now that affect celebrations of our heritage. People who have never been oppressed (generally, white people) and those that are in power say DEI is discriminatory. BIPOC people say it’s about inclusion of everyone and recognizing that all people aren’t white. I am in agreement with the BIPOC folks. We have never discriminated against the majority of white folks getting a job. Everyone else has to fight every step of the way to make others see beyond the differences. They have to fight their way into the job market, or housing, or other essentials necessary to live in our society.

Cutting back and refusing to give to endeavors that celebrate life and people in all of their colorful display is shameful. Traditional events are still ongoing, and are getting funded from corporations, so why do the people with money think it’s bad news to give funding to events like Juneteenth or Pride festivals? I am asking those who have all the purse strings right now to WAKE UP!

I am asking all citizens to stop being afraid of having conversations regarding how corporations are spending their money. And I am asking corporate CEOs to stop being afraid of those in power (that guy in office) who says it’s not cool to help others who have differences than you, particularly their heritage or lifestyle. Remember that no one who has immigrated to North America at any time was a pure white person. We all have bits and pieces of everything inside and that’s what makes us a great person, and an even better nation! We all have to figure out this fear inside that makes us pull back from our differences. We all have to trust in that Golden Rule and decide that this simple way of living will make you a better person. Here are a few quotes that might help you recognize this:

  • “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” ~ John Wesley
  • “Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.” ~ Barbara Bush
  • “The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life.” ~ Henry Ford
  • “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ~ Maya Angelou
  • “It is from the numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” ~ Robert Kennedy
    https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/giving-to-others.html

We need to have conversations about this and other subjects regarding what is right regarding the treatment of others in this world.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A good conversation is not a group of people making a series of statements at [emphasis mine] each other….A good conversation is an act of joint exploration….A good conversation sparks you to have thoughts you never had before.”

We all think we are better than others at communicating but we haven’t really been taught how to have real two-way conversations. It is a difficult concept to master and we need to work at being better at listening. We all have something to say on every subject but sometimes it’s okay to get beyond our self-inhibitions and actively participate equally. We must acknowledge the other person in the conversation with respect, but a shouting match is not communicating with each other. Try to overcome what triggers your feelings and think about what is being said by the other person.

We can overcome anything if we reach consensus at what is being said and done in this world. I will never back down on my belief in equality, equity, and inclusion. It’s time to start the conversation once again and unite as a people, defying those in power who will not rise above the madness. And, once again, give a little bit of your time and money to those who participate in the worldwide celebrations of life.

Love to all and enjoy the springtime, including all of us weeds!

Observations on Aging and the Unobtainable

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Or: I’m Allergic to Botox! Having never been in the Most Beautiful Girl in the Room Club, I don’t understand why so many of us women are obsessed with doing everything in their power to look young and beautiful forever. And then, make it our objective to diminish and pick apart the flaws of those who are noticed by a different sex more than we are. Why do we resent this acknowledgement of others’ beauty? Why don’t we women stick together and rally for all of our outer and inner beauty as well as all of our accomplishments? Why do we gang up on those that are either less beautiful, or so beautiful that others turn their attention to them? Why can’t we be happy with who we are at any given moment?

I recently read a series called The Wilder Widows by Katherine Hastings (who is neither a senior nor a widow, by the way). It was a nice light read and allowed me a minute to laugh at these senior and widowed ladies’ adventures and discoveries of who they had become. One of the widows that I found particularly discouraging about her thoughts of what she felt she had to be, and what her life choices were. She believed that she didn’t deserve unconditional love. The character grew up in a poor household and didn’t have anything. She was belittled for her long legs and looks when she was a child and swore she would rise above it all. She became a trophy wife and eventually a Las Vegas dancer. Each year it got harder and harder to keep up with the younger generation and the beauty regimens that include, Botox, or facelifts had begun to fail her. When her husband died, she inherited his wealth and status. She continued to be the life of the party and had many sexual encounters with younger and younger men. But, she hadn’t yet found true love (if there is such a thing). When she finally decided (with the help of her friends) that she could take a chance on a person she loved, she had a hard time with showing him the real person underneath all the spackle. But, like any true love story, it all worked out in the end. She told him her real age, and what was happening to her body, and he took her into his arms and said he loved her and wanted to grow old with her no matter what.

We all obsess over what we should feel and look like. Although the media has gotten better at portraying beauty and joie de vivre in women of all shapes and sizes, there are so many of us that still feel the pain of being the weird, nerdy shy kid (me), or that tall skinny kid (my sister), or that really poor kid, or that fat kid down the street that everyone teased, or that kid who dressed funny because they didn’t identify as a male or female. We didn’t fit into the perceived mold, and felt estranged of what a kid should be (the portrayal of what was a normal kid) at that time.

We all age differently and we have to try and accept where we are at any time in our lives. Sure I can’t keep up with the twenty-somethings, but that doesn’t stop me from exercising. Sure I don’t look like what I did in my twenties, but I am happy where I am at this time in my life. I stopped obsessing on finding just the right outfit and wear what I want. Now, if I could only find the right shoes to make my feet happy, I would be in heaven on earth!

Aging can enlighten us, or inhibit us. If we use it as an excuse because we are afraid to try something new, we miss out. If we fear of being left alone, because our spouse might go before us, we need to embrace the fact that one of us will probably die before the other and prepare ourselves for embracing some alone time. If we have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) we need to do all the things that we want to do together while we are alive. A friend of mine who became a doctor once said to me: “Currently, there is no cure for aging.” While that is partially true, we should think about the concept that aging does not need a cure because it is not a disease. We have to take that personal responsibility that we will change as we age, and that’s okay. We can focus on what is important at any given time and save the rest for a later date. If our skin gets dry, we use lotion. If we want to keep our hair gray, that’s okay, but a little color can go a long way. If our body hurts more than when we were young, we just do something different. It’s okay to slow down and walk, instead of run. It’s okay to take a day off and rest. And, if we forget names, we keep a journal and/or make lists of things that are important to us. We can take steps to enjoy all the times in our lives. I plan on being that 130-year-old grandma who has a whoop-it-up dance party to celebrate my life. More information on age and aging and other subjects on how to live a great life can be found in my book Discover the Life You Want to Live.

What we look out on the outside doesn’t define who we are on the inside. Everything we do in life and our actions in the world is a part of who we are at any time in our lives. To some women, image is everything. Accepting ourselves the way we are at any given moment is the most important thing we can achieve in life.

David Brooks in his book, How to Know a Person stated that “A person is a point of view [emphasis mine].” He said that “Your mind creates a world, with beauty and ugliness…and you live within that construction….” We all have our perception of beauty and staying young. We can embrace the world at any time if we support each other and respect where we are at any given moment.

I love you all tonight and hope you are having a wonderful night wherever you may be (in time and space!)

I Don’t Have Time or Energy for Divas

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RAIN! YES! We worked all weekend cleaning up the gardens and watered everything so of course we got rain! But now I am so happy for it and all the better for those wonderful plants! Flowers are blooming and birds are chirping! We went to Home Depot and bought 10 bags of the $2.00 mulch, 2 bags of potting soil, and 10 bags of raised bed soil. Now we wait. I am excited to plant the vegetable garden when the snow is done (always much later out here, usually after Mother’s Day!) Life is a beautiful thing!

But here’s my soul-searching thought for today:
Why do we put up with divas? The term has become more than the original idea of being an incredible female singer (goddess-like) from the 19th century. According to Wikipedia, “Women are often referred to as divas if they are difficult, temperamental and demanding.” The adoring public has now extended this idea to both men and women. Take a look at all of those reality shows that are on TV as well as what is going on in the political world. I am not a fan of anyone acting out like when I flip through shows like the Bachelor, Bachelorette, or the Housewives. Why do people watch these shows? Why do people pay attention to rich, spoiled people or the people wanting to become them? I understand I am not their target audience, but when it moves out into the real world that is disheartening. These people are not roll models we should strive to become in our world.

A little humility goes a long way. Sometimes it’s okay to just blend in the background and listen to what is going on out there. I don’t need adulation or recognition for what I do every day. I am happy with who I am at this time in my life. Every day, I try to convince others that they are beautiful people and should be happy with who they are right now. They don’t have to act out like a child craving attention. They can be happy with themselves if they just take a breath before they spew nonsense or hate others for their differences. We can all become a little happier each day if we embrace humility and love each other. We can blend into the world and live in harmony if we just become the best person we know how to be. We can shine a light on ourselves when we are good at something and respect others for what they are good at. This can easily be done at the same time. Everyone is good at something. Enjoy those things you love, and help others learn something new every day.

Become the person like those Wilder Widows (so much fun to read this series by Katherine Hastings). Check them out and laugh a lot at their shenanigans. Be like them and have your own adventures with your crazy and fun friends.

So, let’s all just try and take a breath of the rain-cleared air tonight and be happy where we are at this moment in our lives. Let’s have adventures in our own way and love and respect those we come into contact with every day. I love you all tonight. Have a great week!

Life Goes On

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I took a few days to do all those things that needed doing in my life right now. Reflecting on the day-to-day stuff made me take a step back from the anger and madness that is out there. I decided to keep talking about how I can make a difference in the world right now and stop worrying about everything else. I decided to curb my rants for a few days and just enjoy the moment and stop and enjoy the sound of the birds and the bursting new growth outside today.

We can live our lives peacefully if we just try and help one person each day. We can speak our minds if we aren’t angry all the time. We can live a normal live if we can pause and just watch the parade of loons for a little while and not be loony ourselves. It will eventually come back to normal and maybe even get a little better. I still don’t agree with everything that is happening in our nation, but I can only do so much. If each state steps up to the plate and fund the things that need to be funded, maybe federal regulations and dollars won’t be needed in the future. That is quite a pipe dream, I know, but we have to have some perspective. I believe in funding education and environmental protection and can only hope that we don’t completely destroy either of them in our states. (Remember: Hayduke Lives!)

There will always be people like that guy in office who have no clue as to how the rest of the world lives. There will always be those old white guys (and girls) who don’t understand us. There will always be rich people who will never be satisfied with what they have. They want recognition at the expense of others. And they will end up looking all the more a fool as a result of it.

But there will always be people like you and me who care about people. There will always be people like you and me who have hope that they can make small waves that will grow into a tsunami of kindness and peace. There are good people out there making a difference no matter what the political world is creating for us. So, we can sit out the hate and nonsense for a little while longer as long as we are living and helping someone in need every day. I just went to the website and set up a small monthly donations online at https://www.coloradogives.org/
It helps me to help others and they help so many people and places through this website. There are so many organizations that need our support right now.

Here are some thoughts about why we must understand the value of education:
“The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” —John F. Kennedy
“Education is our only political safety. Outside of this ark all is deluge.” —Horace Mann
“Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.” —Marian Wright Edelman
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#learning
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#journal

Keep reading, keep learning, keep helping, and keep on keeping on! I love you all on this beautiful night!

We Can’t Give Up!

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Or: Or How to Change the Regression to the Past.
Today was a self-reflection and a day of discord. The more I read, the more I worry about what the people who believe in this current administration and what they are letting happen to us. All I want to emphasize tonight is that this contentiousness and hatred has to stop. We cannot regress to a past era that was hopeless for all the little people in the world. We are 327 million strong and we can band together in a just cause. We cannot support or become the kind of person who wants control of others so they feel better about themselves.

It’s time to rally for change and stop the anger at the people who are being persecuted. We can do this in a peaceful manner. We can fight the ridiculous billionaires if we ignore their tantrums and demand they change for the betterment of all people. We can stand up in our place of work to that guy in office like Mariann Edgar Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington D.C., who peacefully confronted him at the beginning of his term. She has an excellent book called How We Learn to Be Brave and I encourage you to read it to learn from her. She is that very example of a brave person that I am talking about and want to emulate!

I still believe that media should step up like the old days and call attention to those in office that are doing and saying awful things, even if they are banned from the White House. I still believe that education is the key to create change from this chaos. The more we put out positive statements on every media outlet, the more we can create change.

Every day we have to persuade those that are still enamored of that guy in office and his minions that he is not good for the people or the country. Every day we need to plan for his assault on rational America and convince those in power to keep fighting for democracy now and in the future. Change is hard, but we can have momentum if we keep making tiny little changes locally and stop being afraid of what’s going to happen to our money. We are bigger than that. We have to get into the trenches of the downtrodden and help each other on a daily basis. Fear is what they want. We have to be fearless so our children can become the citizens we want them to be.

I still believe that we can move forward. I refuse to buy into throwing up my hands and believing “Nothing can be done.” Let’s make small changes every day we live. We can take back the statement “Make America Great Again” from the ridiculous people and truly extend that to all those in North America and around the world. Reach out your hand and join everyone who believe there is still hope.

Live in this moment as though your life depends on it. Enough said.

I send love to all those out there who are frightened in hopes they will read this and believe that things will change for the better.

Sometimes It’s Okay to Ask for Help

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Thank you kiddo for helping me today. Sometimes technology can be overwhelming to us oldsters but when someone like you shows me the way, it is a beautiful thing. Thanks for being you!

And on that note, take a look at my new book page! It looks so much nicer! Still working on Book III for both bigs and smalls for the series. (And after publication, he will help me once again, I’m sure!)

So my lesson for today is it’s okay to ask for help of any kind, but take notes and remember it for the future when you are endeavoring to learn something new. Don’t give up and feel overwhelmed about it (and don’t blame others because things are changing constantly in this world). Just remember the good ole’ days weren’t really that good and we can seek to find new ways to help each other every day we are on this planet.

A society that has isolated us in the past has made up feel like we have to go it alone when facing bad days and tough decisions. I have felt the guilt that my accomplishments haven’t been worthy by some people. I have faced difficult times where no one believed in the things I believed in. It has been hard to ask for help in my adult life and when I go it alone, I have a huge fear of failure.

So as I age, I have been trying to help others, even though I get a little annoyed when they don’t give back the way I feel they should. I admit to this flaw, and still go on to do the best I can every day. Our lives have been molded by stressors that pile up every day because others don’t feel we little guys are worthy of their help. So each day I ask the world and all of us little guys in it to care a little bit more about others. I ask everyone to be kind and just don’t worry about it. Giving of ourselves is free, and sometimes it just makes us feel better about our current situation. It’s a hard task for all, but we will persevere if we worry a little less. I’m still working on that part.

For more information about asking for help, go to:
https://www.wondermind.com/article/asking-for-help/

Take care of yourselves and others tonight and enjoy the warmth before the next storm!

Laugh Everyday – Ode to C. W. Metcalf

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Today was an insane Monday in our little slice of city employment dominion. We had sooooo much mail that it took us over 2 hours to process it. Then, we had to enter everything into the computer. My co-worker and I got through it with her funny life stories and talking trash about some of the folks who sent the information in to us. We laughed, we cried, and all the while we felt so alive.

We all know the cliché—“laughter is the best medicine.”  According to the Heart Foundation, “…studies have shown how laughing through life is beneficial for your health. Laughing lowers stress, reduces anger, and forces us to breathe. But there is a specific science to laughter and why it is so good for your heart. Here are the top 5 reasons you should laugh every single day:

  • Increases blood flow.
  • It counts as cardio.
  • Strengthens your immune system.
  • Reduces stress. 
  • The benefits last.
5 Reasons You Should Laugh Everyday

And here are some more interesting fun facts on the Everyday Health website:
“Laughter is the physical manifestation of finding something funny, and it can help to reduce inflammation and stress hormones, improve circulation, and enhance the immune system.”
“Laughing changes brain activity.”
“Just a moment of laughter can allow us to think more clearly and creatively and strengthen a sense of connection with others.”

  • Don’t Worry About Being ‘Funny.’
  • Curate Your Comedy Collection.
  • Take a Laugh Break
  • Tap Laughter to Learn More
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Lighten Up

https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/how-to-laugh-more-every-single-day-why-its-so-good-for-you/

In 1992, C.W. Metcalf and Roma Felible authored a book called Lighten Up. I read this book to lighten up stressful situations when we were all under pressure. Being in law enforcement I understand the dark humor we all would use to relieve that pressure valve. Metcalf told us it was ok to laugh about horrible situations to “…release endorphins [that] diminish physical and psychological pain.” He also suggested that “…we quit focusing on the idiocy of others and the cruel circumstances of a universe that seems, at times, to be conspiring against us.” Finally, he talked about the three basic skills he hoped people would come away with after reading the book:

  • The First Humor Skill: The ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations.
  • The Second Humor Skill: The ability to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously.
  • The Third Humor Skill: A disciplined sense of joy in being alive.

Like me, he was a boomer but grew up in the wild 1960’s. He identified with what it felt like turning 40 as an age where we were becoming our parents. We never thought we would and were disheartened. However, we saw the humor in it and moved on and tried to get along with everyone, even those grumpy folks! This book is one I would highly recommend to old and young readers to work through his process. He was a great writer and even more wonderful human being.

Here is an obituary of sorts created on a Facebook page to show how he impacted others.

“C.W. Metcalf was a highly respected teacher, performer, and author on the use of humor in stress management. His message was based on research with crisis and trauma survivors who remained healthy, resilient, and creative under pressure. Eventually, C.W.’s own life-and-death battles inspired him the most, as he recovered from two brain cancer surgeries and battled adult leukemia. In one of my all-time favorite MASTERS interviews, C.W. shared his cancer survivor’s joy in being alive. Sadly, C.W. lost his battle in 2007, but his powerful message is a wonderful legacy for all of us.”
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mastersbywinnclaybaugh

So, wind down from the day, see the humor in all of it. Pat yourself on the back for getting through everything and enjoy the evening of mindless TV. And sing and laugh a little bit tonight. I love you all!

We’ll Sing in the Sunshine

Blame Game – Continued

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“If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he’ll look for his own answers.”—Patrick Rothfuss

“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.”—Oprah Winfrey

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”—Wayne Dyer

“Some people love being victims because they love being able to blame someone else. Accountability [emphasis mine] is too much for them. They don’t like being responsible [emphasis mine] for who they have become or where they are in life.”—Anonymous

So I had to stop and take a breath last night but I’m back. Sometimes I just overwhelm myself with my dreadful thoughts. This will be my 135th post today.

But you all know I’m not wrong. I want to continue down this pathway for a little longer and promise to say something nicer tomorrow.

Author Finn Robinson states that some people have had past encounters where failure led to punishment of some kind, therefore they are ruled by fear. Thus, they feel that they are justified in thinking that others should be punished for their actions. He also stated that these same people aren’t good with taking criticism, even if it is perceived criticism. They have a hard time learning from their past mistakes and feel it is just someone else’s fault. They live in denial, or in the case of seniors, in their version of the past. Unfortunately, the past isn’t always a better time. It’s better to learn from our mistakes and move on to a new way of doing things. For further information see his article:
People who blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for things share 12 common traits

Arash Emamzadeh authored an interesting article in Psychology Today. He stated that “…blaming others is a defense mechanism [or] an unconscious process that protects the finger-pointer and blame-shifter from experiencing unpleasant feelings, such as guilt or shame.” He further stated that “Blaming is usually considered part of the defense mechanism called projection, which involves denying one’s own anxiety-provoking or negative characteristics and seeing them instead in others.” Finally, he asked: “Are certain individuals more likely to shift blame onto others? Yes, according to a recent series of investigations by Kaufmann and colleagues: Blamers tend to have difficulties with emotion regulation. For further information go to:
Why Some People Will Always Blame Others | Psychology Today

Accountability and responsibility. Author Lachlan Brown takes a step regarding how you can reclaim your life and be who you need to be. You don’t need to blame others if you step up and admit you are accountable for your own behavior. He lists 11 tips to accomplish this. Here are a few:  

  • Stop blaming other people. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop blaming others.
  • Stop making excuses.
  • Ask yourself how other people impact you if you think you are a victim.
  • Love yourself.
  • Stop complaining – this takes more energy than just accomplishing what you need to do.

The rest of his tips can be found at: https://hackspirit.com/taking-responsibility/

So, sometimes we get it that you may feel isolated and lonely, and want to have human interaction. However, there are so many places that you can visit to talk to others and resolve what is going on with you. Volunteer to help others so you understand there are bigger issues in the world. And maybe take a breath and count to five the next time you call wanting heads to roll at a government office for something that you could have easily fixed yourself. Enough said….

Love and hugs to those in need tonight! Enjoy the flowers popping up. Enjoy the weather before the storm in your lovely little part of Colorado.

BE KIND

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It doesn’t take a huge effort to be kind to others. A smile, a thank you, a hug, that’s it. Kindness doesn’t always include dramatic gestures. We can bring meaning and joy to our lives if we just learn to communicate better. Compassion is intoxicating and we all need to take a moment to soak it in and then squeeze it right back out to others.

Hateful people had something break inside them when they were young and may need a little more help in creating a better life for themselves and, as a result, the people they torture. If we can take a moment with those folks who are regurgitating nonsense, perhaps we can change their attitudes. Or, at least, stop being angry with them. After all, they simply cannot help themselves without some type of therapy.

This type of person can be a very loud bully, and their resistance is huge because they are terrified. But you and I know bullies had something happen to them at a young age and had to go into full-time survival mode. And yes, sometimes they just like the power they have been given right now in this era. It is a hard road to help them get back to a state where they care about something other than themselves. It is extremely hard for me to understand the very loud bully who is running our country right now, and I have had my say about all of these people who love him.

But I have to go back to my college days and revisit my psychology classes. I have to try and re-think the anger in myself. I want others to be like me, to always have a positive spin on life, and yet I am saddened that there is so much discord out there right now, and that I get sucked into it at times. I know I contribute to this negative energy and I am trying to break the cycle. I feel for the people who have been hurt by the ridiculous decisions that have been made. I am trying not to become that person who gives up. I have to believe in a new hope for a united nation once again. I have to believe that those in power will see what is happening and keep fighting the good cause. So until I can solve all of the world’s ills (yes, I know how that sounds…) I have to continue to believe that kindness will overcome madness.

So what I am asking of each and every one of you is to try and take a breath before you speak and that weird downward spiral loop nests in your head. Think about helping yourself and others by doing the following:

  • Stop yelling at people who cut you off or act crazy on the road. Give them that small victory. (You can still mutter under your breath: “You’re an idiot” -thank you Tom Hanks!)
  • Make eye contact, smile, and say thank you to a coworker or someone you are helping.
  • Bring laughter to others to break up the day.
  • Smile and acknowledge people. It is a great mood booster.
  • Be grateful no matter the challenge.
  • Don’t be grumpy if possible because you are having a bad day.
  • Listen and connect.
  • Be kind to yourself.

There are many more ways to be kind and accept kindness. I recommend you check out this website and just learn to go with the flow.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-be-a-kind-person

And my final ask of you (and myself) tonight is to show a little kindness to someone in need every day. And take a moment to listen to these great songs and feel the groove:

23 Best Songs About Kindness & Empathy

I love you all tonight.