Tag Archives: mental-health

I Don’t Have Time or Energy for Divas

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RAIN! YES! We worked all weekend cleaning up the gardens and watered everything so of course we got rain! But now I am so happy for it and all the better for those wonderful plants! Flowers are blooming and birds are chirping! We went to Home Depot and bought 10 bags of the $2.00 mulch, 2 bags of potting soil, and 10 bags of raised bed soil. Now we wait. I am excited to plant the vegetable garden when the snow is done (always much later out here, usually after Mother’s Day!) Life is a beautiful thing!

But here’s my soul-searching thought for today:
Why do we put up with divas? The term has become more than the original idea of being an incredible female singer (goddess-like) from the 19th century. According to Wikipedia, “Women are often referred to as divas if they are difficult, temperamental and demanding.” The adoring public has now extended this idea to both men and women. Take a look at all of those reality shows that are on TV as well as what is going on in the political world. I am not a fan of anyone acting out like when I flip through shows like the Bachelor, Bachelorette, or the Housewives. Why do people watch these shows? Why do people pay attention to rich, spoiled people or the people wanting to become them? I understand I am not their target audience, but when it moves out into the real world that is disheartening. These people are not roll models we should strive to become in our world.

A little humility goes a long way. Sometimes it’s okay to just blend in the background and listen to what is going on out there. I don’t need adulation or recognition for what I do every day. I am happy with who I am at this time in my life. Every day, I try to convince others that they are beautiful people and should be happy with who they are right now. They don’t have to act out like a child craving attention. They can be happy with themselves if they just take a breath before they spew nonsense or hate others for their differences. We can all become a little happier each day if we embrace humility and love each other. We can blend into the world and live in harmony if we just become the best person we know how to be. We can shine a light on ourselves when we are good at something and respect others for what they are good at. This can easily be done at the same time. Everyone is good at something. Enjoy those things you love, and help others learn something new every day.

Become the person like those Wilder Widows (so much fun to read this series by Katherine Hastings). Check them out and laugh a lot at their shenanigans. Be like them and have your own adventures with your crazy and fun friends.

So, let’s all just try and take a breath of the rain-cleared air tonight and be happy where we are at this moment in our lives. Let’s have adventures in our own way and love and respect those we come into contact with every day. I love you all tonight. Have a great week!

Life Goes On

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I took a few days to do all those things that needed doing in my life right now. Reflecting on the day-to-day stuff made me take a step back from the anger and madness that is out there. I decided to keep talking about how I can make a difference in the world right now and stop worrying about everything else. I decided to curb my rants for a few days and just enjoy the moment and stop and enjoy the sound of the birds and the bursting new growth outside today.

We can live our lives peacefully if we just try and help one person each day. We can speak our minds if we aren’t angry all the time. We can live a normal live if we can pause and just watch the parade of loons for a little while and not be loony ourselves. It will eventually come back to normal and maybe even get a little better. I still don’t agree with everything that is happening in our nation, but I can only do so much. If each state steps up to the plate and fund the things that need to be funded, maybe federal regulations and dollars won’t be needed in the future. That is quite a pipe dream, I know, but we have to have some perspective. I believe in funding education and environmental protection and can only hope that we don’t completely destroy either of them in our states. (Remember: Hayduke Lives!)

There will always be people like that guy in office who have no clue as to how the rest of the world lives. There will always be those old white guys (and girls) who don’t understand us. There will always be rich people who will never be satisfied with what they have. They want recognition at the expense of others. And they will end up looking all the more a fool as a result of it.

But there will always be people like you and me who care about people. There will always be people like you and me who have hope that they can make small waves that will grow into a tsunami of kindness and peace. There are good people out there making a difference no matter what the political world is creating for us. So, we can sit out the hate and nonsense for a little while longer as long as we are living and helping someone in need every day. I just went to the website and set up a small monthly donations online at https://www.coloradogives.org/
It helps me to help others and they help so many people and places through this website. There are so many organizations that need our support right now.

Here are some thoughts about why we must understand the value of education:
“The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” —John F. Kennedy
“Education is our only political safety. Outside of this ark all is deluge.” —Horace Mann
“Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.” —Marian Wright Edelman
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#learning
https://www.weareteachers.com/quotes-about-education/#journal

Keep reading, keep learning, keep helping, and keep on keeping on! I love you all on this beautiful night!

We Can’t Give Up!

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Or: Or How to Change the Regression to the Past.
Today was a self-reflection and a day of discord. The more I read, the more I worry about what the people who believe in this current administration and what they are letting happen to us. All I want to emphasize tonight is that this contentiousness and hatred has to stop. We cannot regress to a past era that was hopeless for all the little people in the world. We are 327 million strong and we can band together in a just cause. We cannot support or become the kind of person who wants control of others so they feel better about themselves.

It’s time to rally for change and stop the anger at the people who are being persecuted. We can do this in a peaceful manner. We can fight the ridiculous billionaires if we ignore their tantrums and demand they change for the betterment of all people. We can stand up in our place of work to that guy in office like Mariann Edgar Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington D.C., who peacefully confronted him at the beginning of his term. She has an excellent book called How We Learn to Be Brave and I encourage you to read it to learn from her. She is that very example of a brave person that I am talking about and want to emulate!

I still believe that media should step up like the old days and call attention to those in office that are doing and saying awful things, even if they are banned from the White House. I still believe that education is the key to create change from this chaos. The more we put out positive statements on every media outlet, the more we can create change.

Every day we have to persuade those that are still enamored of that guy in office and his minions that he is not good for the people or the country. Every day we need to plan for his assault on rational America and convince those in power to keep fighting for democracy now and in the future. Change is hard, but we can have momentum if we keep making tiny little changes locally and stop being afraid of what’s going to happen to our money. We are bigger than that. We have to get into the trenches of the downtrodden and help each other on a daily basis. Fear is what they want. We have to be fearless so our children can become the citizens we want them to be.

I still believe that we can move forward. I refuse to buy into throwing up my hands and believing “Nothing can be done.” Let’s make small changes every day we live. We can take back the statement “Make America Great Again” from the ridiculous people and truly extend that to all those in North America and around the world. Reach out your hand and join everyone who believe there is still hope.

Live in this moment as though your life depends on it. Enough said.

I send love to all those out there who are frightened in hopes they will read this and believe that things will change for the better.

Sometimes It’s Okay to Ask for Help

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Thank you kiddo for helping me today. Sometimes technology can be overwhelming to us oldsters but when someone like you shows me the way, it is a beautiful thing. Thanks for being you!

And on that note, take a look at my new book page! It looks so much nicer! Still working on Book III for both bigs and smalls for the series. (And after publication, he will help me once again, I’m sure!)

So my lesson for today is it’s okay to ask for help of any kind, but take notes and remember it for the future when you are endeavoring to learn something new. Don’t give up and feel overwhelmed about it (and don’t blame others because things are changing constantly in this world). Just remember the good ole’ days weren’t really that good and we can seek to find new ways to help each other every day we are on this planet.

A society that has isolated us in the past has made up feel like we have to go it alone when facing bad days and tough decisions. I have felt the guilt that my accomplishments haven’t been worthy by some people. I have faced difficult times where no one believed in the things I believed in. It has been hard to ask for help in my adult life and when I go it alone, I have a huge fear of failure.

So as I age, I have been trying to help others, even though I get a little annoyed when they don’t give back the way I feel they should. I admit to this flaw, and still go on to do the best I can every day. Our lives have been molded by stressors that pile up every day because others don’t feel we little guys are worthy of their help. So each day I ask the world and all of us little guys in it to care a little bit more about others. I ask everyone to be kind and just don’t worry about it. Giving of ourselves is free, and sometimes it just makes us feel better about our current situation. It’s a hard task for all, but we will persevere if we worry a little less. I’m still working on that part.

For more information about asking for help, go to:
https://www.wondermind.com/article/asking-for-help/

Take care of yourselves and others tonight and enjoy the warmth before the next storm!

Laugh Everyday – Ode to C. W. Metcalf

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Today was an insane Monday in our little slice of city employment dominion. We had sooooo much mail that it took us over 2 hours to process it. Then, we had to enter everything into the computer. My co-worker and I got through it with her funny life stories and talking trash about some of the folks who sent the information in to us. We laughed, we cried, and all the while we felt so alive.

We all know the cliché—“laughter is the best medicine.”  According to the Heart Foundation, “…studies have shown how laughing through life is beneficial for your health. Laughing lowers stress, reduces anger, and forces us to breathe. But there is a specific science to laughter and why it is so good for your heart. Here are the top 5 reasons you should laugh every single day:

  • Increases blood flow.
  • It counts as cardio.
  • Strengthens your immune system.
  • Reduces stress. 
  • The benefits last.
5 Reasons You Should Laugh Everyday

And here are some more interesting fun facts on the Everyday Health website:
“Laughter is the physical manifestation of finding something funny, and it can help to reduce inflammation and stress hormones, improve circulation, and enhance the immune system.”
“Laughing changes brain activity.”
“Just a moment of laughter can allow us to think more clearly and creatively and strengthen a sense of connection with others.”

  • Don’t Worry About Being ‘Funny.’
  • Curate Your Comedy Collection.
  • Take a Laugh Break
  • Tap Laughter to Learn More
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Lighten Up

https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/how-to-laugh-more-every-single-day-why-its-so-good-for-you/

In 1992, C.W. Metcalf and Roma Felible authored a book called Lighten Up. I read this book to lighten up stressful situations when we were all under pressure. Being in law enforcement I understand the dark humor we all would use to relieve that pressure valve. Metcalf told us it was ok to laugh about horrible situations to “…release endorphins [that] diminish physical and psychological pain.” He also suggested that “…we quit focusing on the idiocy of others and the cruel circumstances of a universe that seems, at times, to be conspiring against us.” Finally, he talked about the three basic skills he hoped people would come away with after reading the book:

  • The First Humor Skill: The ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations.
  • The Second Humor Skill: The ability to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously.
  • The Third Humor Skill: A disciplined sense of joy in being alive.

Like me, he was a boomer but grew up in the wild 1960’s. He identified with what it felt like turning 40 as an age where we were becoming our parents. We never thought we would and were disheartened. However, we saw the humor in it and moved on and tried to get along with everyone, even those grumpy folks! This book is one I would highly recommend to old and young readers to work through his process. He was a great writer and even more wonderful human being.

Here is an obituary of sorts created on a Facebook page to show how he impacted others.

“C.W. Metcalf was a highly respected teacher, performer, and author on the use of humor in stress management. His message was based on research with crisis and trauma survivors who remained healthy, resilient, and creative under pressure. Eventually, C.W.’s own life-and-death battles inspired him the most, as he recovered from two brain cancer surgeries and battled adult leukemia. In one of my all-time favorite MASTERS interviews, C.W. shared his cancer survivor’s joy in being alive. Sadly, C.W. lost his battle in 2007, but his powerful message is a wonderful legacy for all of us.”
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mastersbywinnclaybaugh

So, wind down from the day, see the humor in all of it. Pat yourself on the back for getting through everything and enjoy the evening of mindless TV. And sing and laugh a little bit tonight. I love you all!

We’ll Sing in the Sunshine

Blame Game – Continued

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“If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he’ll look for his own answers.”—Patrick Rothfuss

“You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.”—Oprah Winfrey

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”—Wayne Dyer

“Some people love being victims because they love being able to blame someone else. Accountability [emphasis mine] is too much for them. They don’t like being responsible [emphasis mine] for who they have become or where they are in life.”—Anonymous

So I had to stop and take a breath last night but I’m back. Sometimes I just overwhelm myself with my dreadful thoughts. This will be my 135th post today.

But you all know I’m not wrong. I want to continue down this pathway for a little longer and promise to say something nicer tomorrow.

Author Finn Robinson states that some people have had past encounters where failure led to punishment of some kind, therefore they are ruled by fear. Thus, they feel that they are justified in thinking that others should be punished for their actions. He also stated that these same people aren’t good with taking criticism, even if it is perceived criticism. They have a hard time learning from their past mistakes and feel it is just someone else’s fault. They live in denial, or in the case of seniors, in their version of the past. Unfortunately, the past isn’t always a better time. It’s better to learn from our mistakes and move on to a new way of doing things. For further information see his article:
People who blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for things share 12 common traits

Arash Emamzadeh authored an interesting article in Psychology Today. He stated that “…blaming others is a defense mechanism [or] an unconscious process that protects the finger-pointer and blame-shifter from experiencing unpleasant feelings, such as guilt or shame.” He further stated that “Blaming is usually considered part of the defense mechanism called projection, which involves denying one’s own anxiety-provoking or negative characteristics and seeing them instead in others.” Finally, he asked: “Are certain individuals more likely to shift blame onto others? Yes, according to a recent series of investigations by Kaufmann and colleagues: Blamers tend to have difficulties with emotion regulation. For further information go to:
Why Some People Will Always Blame Others | Psychology Today

Accountability and responsibility. Author Lachlan Brown takes a step regarding how you can reclaim your life and be who you need to be. You don’t need to blame others if you step up and admit you are accountable for your own behavior. He lists 11 tips to accomplish this. Here are a few:  

  • Stop blaming other people. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop blaming others.
  • Stop making excuses.
  • Ask yourself how other people impact you if you think you are a victim.
  • Love yourself.
  • Stop complaining – this takes more energy than just accomplishing what you need to do.

The rest of his tips can be found at: https://hackspirit.com/taking-responsibility/

So, sometimes we get it that you may feel isolated and lonely, and want to have human interaction. However, there are so many places that you can visit to talk to others and resolve what is going on with you. Volunteer to help others so you understand there are bigger issues in the world. And maybe take a breath and count to five the next time you call wanting heads to roll at a government office for something that you could have easily fixed yourself. Enough said….

Love and hugs to those in need tonight! Enjoy the flowers popping up. Enjoy the weather before the storm in your lovely little part of Colorado.

BE KIND

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It doesn’t take a huge effort to be kind to others. A smile, a thank you, a hug, that’s it. Kindness doesn’t always include dramatic gestures. We can bring meaning and joy to our lives if we just learn to communicate better. Compassion is intoxicating and we all need to take a moment to soak it in and then squeeze it right back out to others.

Hateful people had something break inside them when they were young and may need a little more help in creating a better life for themselves and, as a result, the people they torture. If we can take a moment with those folks who are regurgitating nonsense, perhaps we can change their attitudes. Or, at least, stop being angry with them. After all, they simply cannot help themselves without some type of therapy.

This type of person can be a very loud bully, and their resistance is huge because they are terrified. But you and I know bullies had something happen to them at a young age and had to go into full-time survival mode. And yes, sometimes they just like the power they have been given right now in this era. It is a hard road to help them get back to a state where they care about something other than themselves. It is extremely hard for me to understand the very loud bully who is running our country right now, and I have had my say about all of these people who love him.

But I have to go back to my college days and revisit my psychology classes. I have to try and re-think the anger in myself. I want others to be like me, to always have a positive spin on life, and yet I am saddened that there is so much discord out there right now, and that I get sucked into it at times. I know I contribute to this negative energy and I am trying to break the cycle. I feel for the people who have been hurt by the ridiculous decisions that have been made. I am trying not to become that person who gives up. I have to believe in a new hope for a united nation once again. I have to believe that those in power will see what is happening and keep fighting the good cause. So until I can solve all of the world’s ills (yes, I know how that sounds…) I have to continue to believe that kindness will overcome madness.

So what I am asking of each and every one of you is to try and take a breath before you speak and that weird downward spiral loop nests in your head. Think about helping yourself and others by doing the following:

  • Stop yelling at people who cut you off or act crazy on the road. Give them that small victory. (You can still mutter under your breath: “You’re an idiot” -thank you Tom Hanks!)
  • Make eye contact, smile, and say thank you to a coworker or someone you are helping.
  • Bring laughter to others to break up the day.
  • Smile and acknowledge people. It is a great mood booster.
  • Be grateful no matter the challenge.
  • Don’t be grumpy if possible because you are having a bad day.
  • Listen and connect.
  • Be kind to yourself.

There are many more ways to be kind and accept kindness. I recommend you check out this website and just learn to go with the flow.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-be-a-kind-person

And my final ask of you (and myself) tonight is to show a little kindness to someone in need every day. And take a moment to listen to these great songs and feel the groove:

23 Best Songs About Kindness & Empathy

I love you all tonight.

Mental Processing

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“The gears of the mind turn in mysterious ways, propelling us through the complexities of thought and emotion – a captivating dance that forms the very essence of our human experience.”—Neurolaunch, 2024

Today was an overload day. We went to the Xfinity store and got our new phones. We went from Samsung Galaxy S8s to Galaxy S25+. What a dramatic change! Everything looks a little different! The initial purchase was a whirlwind as everything is up in that giant nebulous satellite world, even the Sim cards! And we got a huge discount because it was before March 18th. Most of the information downloaded okay in the store, albeit it took a very long time on the Bluetooth connection. We had to come home and fix a few things, but now we are slowly getting used to them. There were sooooo many apps that I had forgotten about! And we had to login to everything once again. My brain is in overload mode right now.

So after making dinner and cleaning up, I looked up mental processing. I found some interesting facts. A website called Neurolaunch speaks of our thoughts as an “…intricate ballet of neural activity, hidden beneath the surface of our consciousness….”
The study is a “…journey to unravel the enigmatic workings of the human mind, exploring the very core of what makes us who we are.”
https://neurolaunch.com/mental-processes-definition-psychology/

The 8 mental processes can be “…broadly categorized into eight types: Sensation, Perception, Attention, Learning, Memory, Language, Motivation, and Emotion.” These categories shape human cognition. https://psychemaster.com/mental-processes-definition-in-psychology

“These cognitive mechanisms shape our perceptions, guide our decisions, and influence our behaviors in ways both subtle and profound. By peering into the inner workings of the mind, we gain invaluable insights into the human condition, opening doors to improved mental health, enhanced learning techniques, and a deeper appreciation for the richness of human cognition.”
It is important for us to understand that mental processes are:
1. Internal and often not directly observable.
2. Involve the manipulation of information within the mind.
3. Conscious or unconscious.
4. Dynamic and can change over time.
5. Influenced by both internal and external factors.

Mental Processes in Psychology: Defining the Core of Human Cognition

Further information can be found at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/202006/what-are-mental-processes

So I believe that our brains are enormous and process so much information so very fast. It’s when we get overwhelmed that we have to just sit a minute and breathe. Yes, we can learn lots of new things at a time, but sometimes our plates are so full that we get a little stressed out. I am the worst person to be telling this to everyone else because I probably am one of those stressors. I want to know it very fast and forget to close my mouth before the next thought comes forward. (And I usually say it out loud!) I have to realize that we all process at different rates (Bluetooth transfers to home connections comparisons in this case). So, take a breath, count to 10 and then ask the next question. We’ll all figure out those life lessons (and new phones) more quickly if we take a break between thoughts. Thanks for listening tonight.

I love you all! Stay safe out there!

Living the Dream and Feeling Complete

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I started the day with a wonderful visit to the VNA footcare at the Rec Center. They helped me tremendously with trimming nails and checking out what is going on with my poor aching feet! I learned something new and the visit was paid for by my insurance! I encourage you to talk to those lovely nurses employed by the state and working with your local counties. They really fill a need and help us old folks! And prices are very reasonable if your insurance doesn’t cover it. I’m going back in 3 months! Take care of your feet and they will take care of you!

Today was also a day of researching, writing, and planning my finale in the book. The words flowed. I researched old gaming books of my husband’s (Shadowrun rocks!). And I found some excellent books on history, particularly amazing battle scenes. What a wonderful world at your fingertips! It’s finally coming together. Over the hump and excited to finish the storyline. There may be one more, but who knows? It depends on where I’m at after this!

So my swirling brain is getting it all together, but I just want to say one thing to someone I helped downtown this week: She came in with her check to pay her water bill and was complaining about the process. She gave me a check and I entered the information and that was that. While that process still works for now, it will eventually change. Checks are slowly becoming obsolete with Venmo and other apps to pay someone electronically. It’s inevitable that things will change.

So…I told her she could pay it online and I would help her walk through it if she would like me to help her set it up. She got a little snarky and said she didn’t trust computers. She also proudly stated that she didn’t even have a computer! I was sad that elders don’t understand or want to learn a different process. I have been paying online for over 27 years now and I have never had a problem with it. I have never been breached by the system. I was also sad that so many of us my age and older don’t want to be uncomfortable, which is what you feel when you learn new things. I just told her I have a computer, smart phone, and TV and it was easy to do once you learn it! But, alas, she didn’t want to hear my opinion (I have many, don’t you know?)

There are many things that I don’t always understand when it comes to new programs or software, or even the new publishing methods on my computer. I have to read instructions a few times, or go to a different site with a better explanation in order to work on something new. And sometimes I have to ask the family who are smarter than me on these things to help me out. But to dismiss a new way of learning and reading is a bit sad, don’t you think? Besides, the backlighting is terrific for reading! And there are infinite resources, better than the library (and I loved, loved, loved the library when I was young).

So, I urge all of you to expand your horizons and learn new things every day. Read, read, and read some more. Learn something new every day that you are on this planet. That’s how your brain will stay healthy. Enough said.

I love you all and hope you will keep up with your children and grandchildren!

Live and Let Live

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“The phrase “live and let live” has been used for centuries to express a philosophy of tolerance, acceptance, and peaceful coexistence. Its origins can be traced back to various cultures throughout history, where it was often used as a guiding principle in social interactions.”
https://crossidiomas.com/live-and-let-live/

I used to believe that we were getting somewhere with respecting each other, allowing each other to make their own choices and not imposing our beliefs on others. I used to believe that good people could make good choices on their own and not be judged by some hierarchical fanatic. I used to believe that we were working on the philosophy: “And it harm none, do what thou will.” I used to believe that supporting diversity, inclusiveness, and respect for all was something that should have been the logical process for treating everyone equally, not something that needed to be legislated.

And, then came the s#*! storm. So what was the precise moment where a majority of the nation decided that this idiom should become “Live and Let Die?” Was it the election, or had we grown so weary beforehand that we just gave up and let things happen?

Perhaps now there is a growing majority of those irrational believers waking up and realizing what they have done. I hope they are remorseful and are trying to fix things after the fact. Alas, I think they are also still scared. They have given into their fears and prejudices and are holding on to something that was enforced in them by their ancestors. They also still think that the make-believe nonsense about trickle down economy of the Reagan years was real. People, this never worked! Talk to economists and get an understanding of what this means so you can be more informed in the upcoming elections. Your educated votes make a difference in our world.

I thought that we were slowly rising up out of our past and recognizing that things had to change. And yet things have changed for the worse. I can’t give up on trying to educate and encourage others to do a deep dive into history, politics, and economics, and stretch ones’ brains to understand the differences between democracy, autocracy, and blatant fascism. (Look it up!) We are part of a greater world and should own it. We have to help nations in trouble and rise up out of this pettiness. We have to stop being afraid and break our individual bubbles, or at least absorb our bubble into the next person’s bubble and on and on until we are under one big bubble. I am reading and researching and writing more than I ever used to and I encourage young and old alike to do the same. We have to move on to the next step folks. We have to bring back a nation of love and understanding for all humans who live on this planet. Only then can we become harmonious and full of love for one another. We cannot give up!

I send out love and peace to everyone tonight. Hug the person next to you and engage in a productive conversation. Learn something new every day that you are alive!