This month, I’m wrapping up my new mystery novel, the first in a series of three—or four, depending on whether I die first from my head exploding.

It has taken me a long time to get the hang of this fiction writing thing. I know how to write non-fiction. I know how to outline, how to research a subject thoroughly. I know all about criminals, police tactics and crime scenes.

But, fiction is a whole ‘nother animal. I had to learn about dialogue, making something believable, how to set the scene, have dramatic tension, ask WHY, WHY, WHY, how to explain something without sounding preachy, and give depth to my characters. After all…I did choose to write fiction….

So, I took some classes. I met some people. I spent money on editing. (And why does everyone expect a poor, starving writer to spend money to make money? How does that help the writer become better? It helps all those other folks make money, but does it help the starving writer?) I spent time with marketers and business people who are now writers—all in the hopes of enlightenment.

The only thing that all of these classes, advice, and yes, shelling out money, did for me, was help me become a better writer. It allowed me to give myself permission to make the space and spend time in my head. It made me sit down and write, write, and write some more. Whether the prose was good or bad, whether I deleted five pages of sweat stained action, I wrote every day and sometimes all day. And then I go do the laundry, vacuum, clean, and get ready for Halloween, now Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc., etc., etc. Writing first!

Now that I’ve finished the first novel, and are in the throes of the 200^th edit (no exaggeration-okay maybe more than 200 edits), I am ecstatic about writing the next novel in this series. I want to see what is going to happen to my characters next. I’ve already begun the second book, outline is not so tight, and it is going much better this time. The writing is crisp and I don’t need to worry so much about the back story. I learned how to have a character who can be hurt, who can be complex, and who is the person that I want to become.

Hence, the title of this blog: “I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO HURT HER FEELINGS.”

In this first book, I had to make painful things happen to my character to give her the depth readers expect. I struggled with making her not so nice. I put so much of my personality into every character in the book I felt like if I hurt them, I was hurting me. I had to remind myself every day that it’s not me, it’s them that all of these things are happening to.

So, for all the agony of getting through this first piece, I still don’t want anyone else to hurt her feelings. It’s my life, it’s my character, so don’t be mad if she’s not exactly like you, the reader. Don’t hurt her through me with mean comments. Enjoy the read and write something nice about it, or don’t write at all. I will always read your new works and rate them high. I now understand the struggle. And, I will post the launch date as soon as I know. Thanks for listening.

Hey everyone,

A friend of mine helped me revamp my author page and ad on Amazon for my book Discover the Life You Want to Live.

Here’s what he wrote:

Please take a look and I’d love to hear from you on what you think. Is it more appealing? Would you be more likely to buy it? Thanks everyone!

No matter how old and weird I get, I’m reawakened when I can go and see my favorite band, RUSH. (They were in Denver Friday, August 2, 2013.)

I grew up with them. They are all around my age and can still rock. They were always awesome – even before we knew the meaning of the word – and still are!

• Geddy – still hits the high notes even though it takes a little longer

• Alex – fastest fingers I’ve ever seen

• Neil – what can I say – philosopher/writer, and the drummer of all drummers – so quiet in verse but loud in his beat – he speaks through his rhythm

And, even though you added all the pyrotechnics and string band for the kiddies, you still speak volumes with your images and songs.

Thank you for still rockin’ after all these years. Thank you for your words and music. Thank you from this old soul.

Now to the meat of the blog:

This blog was actually written to praise those who are the true storytellers—those who make the reading and listening so wonderful and cozy—an environment for the reader can melt into. You know it took a lot of work to get the story out, a lot of research, a lot of re-writes, a lot of sweat on what to keep in, what to cut out. Yet these writers seem to have a talent to make the tale flow so effortlessly, so comforting, so funny, so sad, and soooooo beautiful. Storytelling is an art unlike any other. When you can learn something from a well-researched (and well written into the story), that is a great story. There are those that have it and those that don’t.

There are those storytellers like Neil Gaiman that people not in the know go: Who? When he goes on a show and is announced, the audience is silent. They are in awe of him. And, he’s such a humble guy. He’s so knowledgeable and out there that we nerds get him.

New writers of science fiction have hugggggeeeeee shoes to fill. They have the greats such as Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson, Frederick Pohl, Robert Heinlein, Arthur Clarke, Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle to look up to, but can they follow in the footsteps of the great? I read lots and lots of SF, but I’ve only found a few ‘newbies’ that I’ll keep following—such as Michael Flynn. He has studied the greats and his writing shows it. Oh, I’ll keep reading the ‘newbies’ but so far I have only a few that have been promising enough that I’ve gone back and ordered a second book.

I also read a lot of mysteries and am disappointed in a lot of the female writers. Maybe it’s because I expect more. Maybe it’s because I was in law enforcement and they don’t make any effort to research and get into the facts of a case. I’m not talking ‘true crime’ stuff, just make the case interesting. If I’ve figured it out by the 2^nd or 3^rd chapter, it is a sad state of affairs.

And I won’t even begin to get started on the formatting, bad grammar, wording and other ills of new uploads. That is such a distraction. (Get good readers, people before you upload!) Although, I am a great fan of being able to be in total control of your own book!

And so, I am trying to become one of these people, these great story tellers of science fiction and mystery. And to do this, I read a lot. I read a lot of great books, good books, bad books, and really, really bad books. It is my hope that I will wind up somewhere closer to the good books category. I have to work very hard not to spew knowledge to people. I have to work very hard to have great dialogue and great dramatic tension. I know where my strong points are, and that is in the beginning of the project—great research is my forte. Where I get stuck is the day-to-day process of making sense of all that stuff in my head, and where I want to go with the book.

When I am helping my son, I notice I over-correct grammar, spelling, formatting. I do the same thing in my writing and that stifles me. So, I am attempting to back off a little and let him tell his story before all the correcting. That is what I am trying to do in my work. It’s hard sometimes, because I am a severe critic to him and to me. I have to go back to the very beginnings of my story time when I was a little kid and remember the good feeling of the story—the anticipation, the joy, and the endings. If you can get back to the joy of those beginnings, you will tell a great story. This is my goal.

So, thank you all you greats from my past. I am trying to live up to what I perceive your expectations would be of me.

The other day my husband I were at Costco and we were so amazed at the absolute rudeness of some people. Granted it was a busy Friday on a holiday weekend. Granted we expected it to be busy. What we didn’t expect is people cutting us off with their carts, stomping their feet, giving us the EYE as if we chose at that very moment to cut in front of them.  We didn’t get mad. We just laughed at them, hopefully giving them the message: “I’m sorry, but I don’t accept that kind of behavior.” I want to ask them, “What are you, a 2-year-old?”

In fact, we don’t have to accept rude behavior. It’s that can’t wait and entitled attitude that has gotten us into trouble in our society. Although I continue to be polite to people, I usually don’t receive that politeness back. In fact, people don’t even acknowledge that I have been polite to them.

We can begin to change this behavior by being polite to each other within our families and homes by turning off the shouting on the news media and think for ourselves. We can slow down a little, read a little, take our turns (remember preschool?), and simply take a breath. Then and only then can we enjoy our time on Earth. So, kick back and read a little Robert Fulghum (may I suggest his first book, All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten). You’ll be happier and maybe you’ll live a little longer.

For those of you who missed the Local Author’s Forum today, here is a copy of my speech. Sorry, but you had to come to the library on Sunday to hear the reading of the book! Enjoy my thoughts:

Not everyone can write or write well. For those of us who choose to write – to tell a story – one that everyone will enjoy, the task can be both a delight and a curse.

For those of us whose write non-fiction, we can get on with the task because it seems so easy to organize the facts and reiterate them on paper. There are so many bits of information in our heads that we must get them out! So, preparing to write non-fiction was the easy part for me.

However, when I take on a new project, I over-prepare. I read and re-read everything in the genre. I take copious notes. I confuse me. I outline and re-outline. Then I sit. After about an hour of self-loathing, and questioning my sanity, I make many false starts.

I begin to think of everything else that needs doing around the house – you guys know what I’m talking about. And, sometimes, I succumb to all those distractions, get up and get on with the doing. I put on a load of laundry. I wash the dishes. I go out to the garden and work for a while. Then, I take the dogs for a walk. And, by taking them out, I realize that I have succumbed to their mockery.

When author Annie Dillard was writing something particularly hard, she stated she looked down and discovered that the dog was staring at her. In her book On Writing, she stated, “The dog opened one eye, cocked it at me, and rolled it up before her lids closed.”

She said:  “People should not feed moralistic animals. If they’re so holy, where are their books?”

After all the non-writing, I finally take heart to the task at hand. I take a deep breath, sit in front of my computer, set up the page, and begin typing. I start thinking about writing my Great American Novel (which I am currently working on, by the way). And, Voila! I get a chapter done and I’m amazed.

Some days the writing is really easy. I think it’s the best prose, ever! Other days, I just cut everything out of the work because it’s so bad. (I have learned to save all those precious paragraphs in another document, because they might be good after all, And, I might need them later! Or not!).

Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, once stated that “We write to expose the unexpected.” We writers write for many different reasons. Some of us are driven to tell stories since we first learned to write. Some of us catch the bug right before we turn 60 (you can guess who that is!).

The arduous tale can be told easily or painfully. Annie Dillard once said, “Much has been written about the life of the mind.” Not all writers understand why they are driven to write. They just do. And our readers are happy to buy our books, because they didn’t have to write them! They have the fun and easy task of enjoying the tale.

However, telling the tale is just the beginning. Then the real work begins. You have to get through 152 edits. When you are satisfied with what you have, you send it out to be rejected on the average of 45 times. Finally, the right agent finds you. They send you The Response. The publishing process has just begun, but you are happy. The next 500 steps are both a curse and a joy, because now you’ve moved on to your next project and quite simply, you’re sick of the last one.

But, the ultimate joy for any writer is seeing their beautiful book in final print, all glossy and new. We’ve had our say; our 15 minutes of fame, and now the masses can enjoy our thoughts.

SAVE THE DATE AND PLEASE COME:  Sunday, June 2, 2013 – 1:30 p.m. – 4:30 p.m. LOCATION:  LOUISVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY

LOCAL AUTHORS WILL SPEAK, ANSWER QUESTIONS, AND SELL THEIR BOOKS! I will be there, and I hope to meet and chat with you all.

________________________________________________________________________ Now on to the thoughts of the day:

• Why is everything Epic right now?

• Why are we so obsessed with Hoarders right now?

Currently, there are 1.2 million people in the USA who suffer from compulsive hoarding. That’s 1 in 300 people! Wow! I watch Hoarders on T.V. while I’m cleaning out clutter. It’s that motivation that keeps my sanity, and our house free from crazy clutter. I do know this:  I don’t want my child to come home one day and discover that a stack of newspapers has fallen on me and killed me, and the dog has chewed off my ear….

I do understand that hoarding is a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but I still can’t fathom how anyone can live in such massive clutter and filth without others noticing. Are we so busy in our lives, that we don’t want to notice, or are these people really, really good at hiding their disorder? As a so-called civilized society, we value our privacy, but when does privacy become a hindrance to protecting our loved ones? I submit that it is everyone’s responsibility to take care of the very young, the old, and the infirmed. I believe that a hoarder can be classified as infirmed.

If someone cannot take care of the home that they are in, why are we, the children, setting them up in this home without help? Don’t you think that even though the adults were horrible to you as a child, it’s still your responsibility as a family member to be the more mature adult, and help them get out of a dangerous situation, even though that family member is still horrible to you?

I know that it’s hard to seek professional help for a disorder that’s so personal and weird to us. But, sometimes, we just have to be willing to take a stand, do the work, and take the adult out of that environment into a safer one. Sometimes we have to realize that no one is normal and that’s okay. Some of us just function better in this society.

And a final few quotes:

• “The truth is that life is hard and dangerous;That one who seeks his own happiness does not find it….That truth is only for the brave….That joy is only for those who do not fear to be alone; That life is only for the one who is not afraid to die.” — Joyce Cary

• “I find myself attuned to the grandeur of life and in unison with the perfect order of the universe.” — Odin

I’m listening to music from We the Kings and thoughts pop into my head about teaching a class for adults titled Adult Etiquette in Polite Company. (I know…It’s the way my brain works.)

Every day I encounter hundreds of rude people, and I often wonder: Do they know that they are being rude? I’m not allowed to be rude to them so why do I have to put up with it? In a so-called civilized society, why is it that the established hierarchy is allowed to berate a newcomer to their crowd, when he doesn’t conform to their rules (when he doesn’t even know the rules)? Just because you don’t filter your comments, and you may appear rude to others, does that justify anyone getting upset? I want to ask them this question: “When does rude behavior justify rude behavior?”

When did we all lose sight of a polite society? Didn’t the seniors of today grow up in the same time as my parents? Did they not grow up in a middle class society? Or, are they all richer than me and hang out in the company of other sorority members, or another isolated and irreverent system?. Did they never relate to the working class of people?

If these seniors want others to turn on their filters why don’t they turn on theirs as well? And, why aren’t we brave enough to confront the rude person calmly and tell them what is and isn’t appropriate behavior? Why do we need to get the authorities involved? What happened to people solving their own problems calmly and rationally? Are we so isolated in our living, only thinking of ourselves, that we can’t care about others’ opinions and views, even if they are different from ours?

In Renea Winchester’s book, In the Garden with Billy: Lessons About Life, Love & Tomatoes, she asks, “When did the invisible shift in integrity happen? When did people start caring more about themselves, filling their lives with expensive things, unable to see the suffering of others? And more important, will they continue to serve themselves and ignore the needy?”

I submit that everyone you meet will broaden your views. You may not agree with them, but they can touch your lives if you let them. I never forget anyone that I’ve met. They were put in my path for a purpose, so I learn something new with every chance encounter. If someone needs a helping hand, I help them even if it’s just to talk to them. If they are truly dysfunctional, I seek help for them. It’s up to them if they take it. And, if they’re rude, I’m not rude back. If they don’t listen to me, I will exclaim that they are entitled to their opinion, but I disagree with them, and will be happy to discuss it at a later time. It may not resolve their issues, but I’ve given them a chance, and then I move on. So I ask everyone to take a chance, and then move on! Broaden your perspective. And, don’t get The Man involved unless absolutely necessary. Promote love and peace.

On a happy note, it’s beautiful in Colorado today, 55 degrees (a bit warmer than the 7 deg. we had the other night) and the sun is shining. I took a walk and enjoyed the sunshine, storing up the rays for the cold that’s coming in this weekend.

Or…Where We Stand Is Where We Sit….

I’m reading an excellent book called The Price of Civilization: Reawakening American Virtue and Prosperity, by Jeffrey D. Sachs. He is a world-renowned economist in Clinical Economics, an operating principle which means “…that the economy is intimately interconnected with a much broader drama that includes politics, social psychology, and the natural environment.” He believes that “without restoring an ethos of social responsibility, there can be no meaningful and sustained economic recovery.”

Mr. Sachs reveals his studies of the American people and the current state of affairs. He surveyed hundreds of thousands of Americans and concluded that “Americans are very different from the ways the elites and the media pundits want us to see ourselves.” He states that the American people are generally broad-minded, moderate, and generous. These are not the images of Americans we see on television or the adjectives that come to mind when we think of America’s rich and powerful elite.”

However, Mr. Sachs also states that our political institutions have broken down. Unfortunately, the broad public no longer holds the ‘elites’ accountable. He further states that “American society is too deeply distracted by our media-drenched consumerism to maintain the habits of effective citizenship.”

That statement hit home. When people get comfortable, they no longer worry about their neighbors. They are no longer a part of a ‘mindful’ society. We have chased that American dream for so long, we have forgotten to take the ‘middle path’. I believe in his statement that Americans need to “reconceive the idea of a good society…and to find a creative path toward it.” When are we willing to pay the price of civilization? When are we willing to complete multiple acts of good citizenship? The answer is not comfortable so many of us don’t want to face it. I agree with Mr. Sachs’ comments about becoming more involved in trying to fix the problem. He believes that “…compassion is the glue that holds society together.”

I also understand his thoughts that we all have to be willing to pay our fair share of taxes, become educated about society’s needs, become compassionate of others, and act as stewards for future generations.

People have asked me about this book, and when I talk about it they say, “Isn’t it depressing?” My comment is that it’s not depressing to educate ourselves about what has swayed us for the past 30 years. It’s not depressing to find solutions for the problem. There are so many people out there that are pessimistic and cynical, yet they don’t get involved. They chalk it up the ‘government’ being the problem, when in fact it’s all of us that are the problem. All people have the right to vote, yet we don’t bother to vote, or we let the ‘machine’ push us into choices that aren’t for the average person. The ‘machine’ is big money pushing their candidates. When we look behind the scenes, deregulation has continued to be the bane of society. We need a mixture of government and free market enterprise to get back on track.

My generation learned to save, and to give to others, even when things were tight. Apparently, we have forgotten to pass this lesson on to our children. And, with unemployment being high for the next generation, we better hope that we have saved enough for our retirement as well as our children’s extended stay at home and their education expenses.

The majority of Americans believe that the government’s responsibility is to take care of the people who can’t take care of themselves, and this has been an enduring value in American society.

We as individuals have to be willing to get out of our comfort zones, expect the wealthy to contribute, contribute ourselves, educate ourselves and hold our elected officials accountable. We can start locally and think globally. We have to understand that the ultimate purpose of economic policy is the “life satisfaction of the population” as Mr. Sachs put it. We as a society have to revive the personal excellence and community value ethos instead of accumulating wealth and possessions. We have to be given a chance to once again value education and pride in work.

There are lots of people like me who care, who are uber-organizers, are available and willing to help. All you need to do is be willing to seek us out and take some advice to heart. Who knows what kind of friends you’ll make, and what you can accomplish together. So, get involved in your inalienable right to pursue your happiness!

I recently went to a ‘Mindful Eating’ seminar to learn a little more about exercise and nutrition, and see if I was even on the right track. The speakers were Jerry Siravo and Erin Risius, of A Way of Life Fitness Consulting. These folks have been in the business for a long time and had some good ideas.

Jerry stated that 42% of Americans make a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. 70% of us quit after 6-8 weeks. Over 80% quit by June 1^st. And there are less than 10% of us still working out by the end of the year.

The health industry is a $1 Trillion Dollar industry, and spends lots and lots of money on advertising, especially the lose weight in 8 weeks scam. They emphasize a miracle pill, or an exercise program that guarantees weight loss in 6-8 weeks. If we buy into this concept, we buy all the stuff, but then we may or may not lose weight. Doing this over and over again makes us insane. And, in the ninth week, we quit. This model is built on a failure rate, so high, it is like the lottery. So, why do we keep doing this over and over again without results?

Most of us quit because we don’t see immediate results. We set unrealistic expectations on ourselves, and, as a result, we work too hard at the beginning and are in pain. We can’t see beyond that ninth week and can’t see it as a lifetime of work – one hour at a time. Change and weight loss are both slow processes, and we all seem to set unrealistic expectations of ourselves.

We can’t undo every bad habit by just going to the gym. We all need to make a life time commitment to be healthy.  Jerry gave the following statistics that I thought were very meaningful:

• There are 168 hours in a week.
• We spend about 68 hours sleeping.
• We spend about 112 waking hours, working and doing all that stuff we need to do.
• So, we only have 0-7 hours a week creating health.

So, why is it so hard for us to create a healthy lifestyle? The health industry is designed to take your money, whether you use their plan or not. It’s up to you to understand that food is an addiction that you can’t cure. You need food to survive, and you crave certain foods, especially those loaded with sugar and salt. The food industry knows this. Michael Moss, a writer for Time Magazine, recently published a book call Salt, Sugar, Fat. In the book, he takes the reader into that mega food industry. He details how much processed foods we eat, especially those loaded with salt, sugar and fat. The industry puts a great deal of time and effort to make you crave these 3 things. Sugar is such a narcotic that we can’t stop eating it. We can’t just eat 2 cookies and stop. We become addicted to sugar. The article stated that “In some ways, getting unhooked on foods is harder than getting unhooked on narcotics, because you can’t go cold turkey. You can’t just stop eating.”

So, how do we slog through all the information that’s out there? It’s not easy. Here are some things to ponder:

• Don’t go on a diet. Instead, think about what you are eating each day.
• Learn to control your sugar, fat, salt addiction (based on what food you have decided to eat).
• Decide how much food you are going to take in vs. how much you burn off.
• Write things down for a while. You have to make a list of the foods you ate, vs. how much exercise and movement you have completed during the day.
• Make a commitment to move each hour (this doesn’t have to be going to the gym, just move around outside and inside your house).
• Eat small (I actually buy small packets of snacks and still cut them in half). Eat only 1/3 of what you get at a restaurant. Measure, measure, measure.
• Don’t overdo…anything! Start small, make it fun and easy for the whole family, and don’t set yourself up for failure.

Remember that all of us aren’t physically built to become an emaciated Hollywood star or the next top model. Why do we strive for that image anyway? It’s not healthy. We can decide to just be us and to live a good life, free from disease and pain.

Just start. Don’t be in pain. Do what you can.

There are a lot of workout, walking, cooking and having fun buddies out there waiting for you to say, “Hey, let’s go!”

So, here I am world!  “Let’s not give up. Let’s go!”