And, speaking of baby boomers, I never really thought I was old until I saw Al Sharpton on the TV a few nights ago. I thought to myself, “Wow, he really looks old!”

Then, he said, “The first time I was allowed to vote was in 1972.”

Then, I said, “Holy crap! That was the first year I could vote!” Next thing you know, I’m looking at myself in the mirror and see the face of a stranger – no wait! It’s my mother!

We go through these series of ups and downs as we grow older. Some of us embrace the changes. Others just get grumpy and afraid. And, when exactly did we get so afraid?

Here is an excerpt  from the book I am currently writing that might give an explanation for this fear:

“What happened to us?”

“I’m used to women who went to Alaska to save the birds when the oil spilled.”

“I’m used to women who took martial arts and could defend themselves an others and felt good about it.”

“I’m used to women police officers, horseback riders and trainers – women who have their own tools!”

“What happened to us?  These new twitter-tweeters, texters, Facebook, bloggers, crazy people who don’t step outside and do anything?  Is there a gene that says we have to become passive and safe after we turn 40? I’m at a loss when I talk to women who’ve never tried skydiving, or taught juvenile delinquents how to take care of themselves – how to take responsibility despite the fact their family is dysfunctional – women who could nurture, yet at the same time remodel a house, remake a garden, bake bread, or rebuild a car and have their own all-women’s car club!”

“What happened to us?  I’ve been hanging out with savvy women who aren’t afraid to invest their own money even after 9/11. They are the kind of women I want in my life all the time. I don’t won’t the whiners – the poor pitiful me types. That really brings me down. When I go there it makes me sad. I still want to live a productive life even if I have to be alone, which is a hard thing to do sometimes.

“After 9/11 why were we so afraid?  Safety became so big – no big government except to protect us – was what people screamed. Viagra, Paxil, those things we started worrying about more because the ads told us to worry about these conditions. Red Hat Societies started, but what did they really do?  Talk a lot, drink a lot of tea?  Come on!  Where’s the doing?  Ads about body hair for crying out loud!  What’s that all about?  Reality TV instead of making our own reality; cable shows getting better and better than regular channels but we have to pay for it; elections being about women’s bodies, gay rights, and religion; our rights being taken away each and every day. What happened to all these women speaking up in the 60’s and 70’s?  We got old and gave up. We worried about health care, instead.”

“I say, ‘Bahala Na! Come what may!’ I recently read a novel called Lost In Shangri-La by Mitchell Zuckoff. It is about women soldiers surviving a plane crash during WWII. They were on a small island on what is now part of the Dominican Republic. They had to survive their injuries – concussions, gangrene due to severe burns from the plane exploding, all while walking in uncharted territory with little or no food, where no non-native woman had ever been. These were some tough women! Why have the majority of us never been exposed to this environment? Oh, sure, we’re weekend warriors; we have running clubs, but have we really ever had to survive like they did?”

“And yet, there are people out there doing this every day. They live on the streets. Yes, perhaps they made bad choices somewhere along the lines. Perhaps they overspent, and then lost their homes and their jobs. Perhaps they were living on the edge. But, as things get more and more expensive for all of us, we need to rethink our finances and try to help these people in our community. We have so much wealth where we are today. I mean wealth as a term for our lovely town, of living standards that surpass any other place; for green and sustainable living; for our ability to buy and prepare foods that have been grown locally, and being able to eat out in places that are healthy and actually good for us. And, one that makes us above the average income of any other place in the country.”

“I know, I know, you don’t think you have a lot of money because you have to pay off your house, your college, your kids’ college funds. But, there are people who have no savings at all. They live day-to-day. And, if they lose their jobs, they plunge more quickly in debt. They are not the ‘welfare moms’ image that the Reagan administration foisted on us. People who sometimes need help genuinely want to work and don’t have jobs, not because they are lazy, but because their job was outsourced. Women our age have a lot more influence than I had in the past. Now is the time, to use our leverage.”

“We came from a generation that taught us how to pinch pennies. Now, we have an opportunity where we can give back. We can become the mothers and fathers that some people never had. We can teach others how to live within their means, no matter how meager it is. We can give others a chance to survive in this world.”

“Material things aren’t the most important things in life. We can learn this lesson and teach others how to understand that survival and safety come first. If we are good cooks and bakers, we can help others make their own warm, crusty bread and healthy, hearty meals. The house smells wonderful, and they learn how to be a family.”

(Mmmmmmmmmm. Breaddddd!)

“We help ourselves and others turn off the TV and learn to appreciate what is free in life. We learn to take a good walk.”

“If we grow personally, we get ideas to stimulate growth in others. Ideas escalate to useful concepts for humanity. Only then can visions of paradise become reality.”

I wonder what my mother would have thought about zombies taking over the world, or what some of us affectionately call “The Zombie Apocalypse.”  Would she have picked up my father’s rifle when she saw them come onto the farm? Would she have aimed and blown them away?

Or, would she cower inside her house and simply die?

I’d like to think that she would revert back to her old self – that self-confident young woman who went out into the world like That Girl, an old sitcom starring Marlo Thomas – the person she was before settling down into domesticity – marrying my father when he came home from the War (WWII, that is) and having children.

I’d like to think she would be one of those folks who took up arms and defended herself and others – and generally took care of business.

The world would certainly be different for her (and for us) if we had a catastrophic event. We would have to relearn how to take care of ourselves and keep alive. We would have to bring back those skills that we knew from a very long time ago, before convenience food came into play. We would have to survive, not watch Survivor.

We go through a series of ups and downs as we grow older. Some of us embrace change. Others just sit on the sidelines, get grumpy, complain a lot, and become more afraid. Yes, we are getting older, but are we getting wiser? Here is an excerpt from my book, Discover the Life You Want to Live, about this very subject:

• Each of us grows older every day. It’s how we continue to use our time that makes us wiser. What makes a wise person?   It is a person we can respect. It is a person who is a hopeless romantic and a reluctant leader. This person has learned capabilities as well as intuitiveness. It is a person who can learn about new things every day. It is a person who has achieved mastery in something. A wise person gives a little to someone each day to make her life better. This is what I am working on as I get older – to be a wise person who is a role model, and a person that people will respect.

•  We are all getting older, but are we getting wiser?  Are we learning and contributing something to society each day through our actions?  Ask yourself, “Why should people listen to me?”  “What right do I have to give advice either to my peers or the younger generation?”  If you believe you have achieved everything you asked of yourself, in the above questions, then you have earned the right to be called a wise woman and be respected.

• Women’s studies describe three archetypes of women:  maiden, mother and crone. The wise women were known as crones. A crone is an idea that we can all embody to help the younger women (maidens). And, with modern medicine, we can become older mothers, which let us bridge the gap between all three. We can create a community that helps each other

We do get older every day. That’s a fact of life. If we can believe in ourselves, do something good and stop with the “I can’ts,” we will be happy with our lives when we finally leave this world. It takes more time and energy to sit around and complain about everything. Why can’t we take this energy and fix the very thing we are whining about – become involved? Think how powerful senior citizens have become. Let’s do something positive as a group, not just worry about keeping mine.

I think if my mother were alive today, she would be proud of what her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren have accomplished. We have embraced change and will continue to learn how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

I was never really a hippie because I believed in daily bathing.  I blame my mother who made me a clean freak, so I couldn’t quite blend in with the masses. She made us clean our house every day, so now that’s what I do. While people were out protesting, and not washing, and going barefoot, I learned to clean, be organized, and go out and fight to maintain order against those masses who were protesting with bare, dirty feet.

I was also the kid who left home and didn’t look back.  I didn’t know what I was looking for at first, only that I wanted to leave.  I learned a lot along the way and became an expert in figuring out bad people’s motives. Alice may have left home because she wanted to pursue her singing career, but I left home in search of life. Even when I slept in a tent, I always knew where everything was. It was that organization skill that kept me safe and sane.

Here are some excerpts from my book, Discover the Life You Want to Live, about that very process that helps me.  Perhaps it will help you in your daily life:

•  We learn how to organize our commitment to live a good life. We learn to find that key, and a way to do this was by returning to a beginner’s mindset. We rediscover the rhythm of life by looking at past behaviors, what was inhibiting us, what made us dissatisfied, and change what needs changing, thus dropping the negative thought, and going out for a nice walk!

•  Maybe women are the only ones plagued with a low tolerance for dirt. I don’t know. What I do know is I cannot get started on my work if the house is a complete disaster zone – especially now that I’m working primarily at home. I’ve found that Mondays are usually my cleaning and wash day, if I haven’t gotten to it on the weekends. I allow myself the time and energy it takes to clean up what needs to be cleaned up, and then move on. I am unable to concentrate if I know there is a mess in the kitchen, or laundry piling up. That’s just me. Now, I’m not saying you should let cleaning stop you completely from getting your other work done. You can solicit help from your family, and you can learn to multitask. I can finish a thought, and then put a load of laundry on. By the time I need a break from writing, I can go vacuum a room, or dust, or water the plants, or whatever. I can fold clothes while I’m on the phone solving world problems. I can load dishes in the dishwasher while something is cooking. If my house gets too cluttered, I can’t think. I’ve found a place for everything, and given away, or thrown out what is no longer needed. My desk is organized and I have clean space to write. Plastic storage containers on wheels are my friends – they are the most wonderful invention of the last decade!

My mom died recently and I have learned to appreciate the little things she taught me. She was a Southern Belle, but she had a lot of attitude, which she passed on to all of us. I love you Mom.

Let me know how you organize and live your life. I learn something from everyone! Enjoy.

OPINIONS ABOUT MEN AND RELATIONSHIPS

Note:  This piece was originally written when I was 23 years old.  It was originally entitled “Girl Talk.”  I have since modified it somewhat due to my past 35 years of additional living experience. Thank you Hillary Clinton!

Do you ever wonder why some women are so vain that they buy expensive clothes, put on lots of make-up (to cover their perceived imperfections?), and pamper their bodies so much?  I know why – the men of course!  It’s hard to live without them, yes?  I spent most of my life trying to find the perfect man only to realize I was looking for the perfect me.  I was trying to find a man who could put up with my habits, good, bad, indifferent. So, I got braces, contacts, gained and lost weight – all at the expense of those wonderful yuppie health clubs, especially, during the 1980’s – and permed and colored my hair.  Each year it would get more and more expensive, all so I could look like Farrah Fawcett, or whoever was the current beautiful woman of the time.

The torture we put up with these days to be a perfect woman, our image of a perfect woman, that is, just to define ourselves, or to get the right man!  We spend most of our waking hours trying to be the perfect image for the perfect man.  I should own a health club by now!  I think the whole point of this exercise is to prove to myself that I could be the woman that he wanted, or so I thought; when I was really becoming more of a fake, a facade of a personality.  Did he love me for what I was, or what I would become, or did he love an advertisement that I was trying to be for him?  (But, of course I didn’t learn all this until much later.)

So, I thought about it. I told myself: Stop looking, and believe in yourself, as a whole person, just as you are, and the right person will come along.  Then, I stopped looking, and the universe gave me my answer.  I received the strength to be who I am today, and then I found the person who could help me become me.  He knows me better than I would like him to know.

I used to think everything I did was for the men in my life.  I am sure that was because I am a product of the 1950’s woman-thought. It was a partly the era, and how I grew up, because I thought I must be perfect in order to keep a relationship secure and sustaining.  I’ve seen many things on the TV that constantly remind me that men are vulnerable to other women, and that if women don’t use the right hair conditioner, they will lose their men.  Are we to believe that all our men are so morally corrupt they will go off with any woman out there, just to prove they still have it?

I now believe these men are still the minority, and their behaviors are what makes the news and what makes excellent evening sitcoms.  I would like to think that there are still some men out there who can maintain loyalty and faithfulness.  Yes, they can be tempted, but most do not react on those temptations, or at least that is my current view.  It is an assessment that I hope most men will concur.

The truth is, there really is no one perfect male, just as there is no one perfect female, and you will find just the right one for you, not so perfect, but the one that meets your needs.

Life is really a series of molehills to climb, and every fifth one you come to is a mountain – a real Colorado hill!  You have so many directions to climb it, and, after you pick the direction, you wonder if you picked the right one.  My life has been a series of molehills and mountains, and taking two steps forward and one step back in each stride.  It is a perpetual conga.

I feel that a lot of those forever questions have to do with my own learning process this lifetime – with the ever ensuing question of what I’m supposed to accomplish. I won the game so far, I think.  I once thought I was supposed to be a great musician, so I studied hard.  Then, one day I woke up and decided that this wasn’t my destiny this time.

I don’t know if we’ll ever be sure of exactly where we should be going.  I just know we will continue to go until we die.  Perhaps that’s what it’s all about after all, the going.  What do you think?

With all the election hoopla over, I’m glad to see everyone calming down and getting back to our normal selves, whatever that may mean to you. I had the most pleasant water aerobics class yesterday in a very long time. Peaceful – friendly – even! I told everyone I’m working on possibility the rest of the year.

Here’s a thought from my early days. It was a commentary on the current retro image and what the 60’s was really like for us Boomers:

THERE ARE NO MORE BOHEMIAN POETS

Definition:  Bohemian—Unorthodox, Gypsy, Nonconformist, Avant-Garde, Unconventional, Eccentric, Unusual

Goodbye Richard Brautigan.  Goodbye old life.  The hippies are just about all gone, with a possible exception of those in that city in the west known as The People’s Republic of Boulder.  Yet, the husbands or wives of these aging hippies make a lot of money, so they live in an unreal environment.  They think they are in touch with the world, yet hide behind large homes and money.  They think they are so in touch with the little people, or those worker bees.  These little people work as maids and cooks in their $1,000,000.00+ homes.  There is no joie de vivre left.  Everyone is all too busy making money, preparing trust funds, and sending their children to the best schools – those that have no non-white children in them – people of color have their own place in the world.

These same people say poverty doesn’t exist here. In reality, they have simply priced the lower incomes out of the community. Thousands of people commute into this well known town every day to work in the restaurants, McDonald’s, and those types of jobs.  That reality hits home when there is a massive snowstorm, and no one gets to work.  Look, all the restaurants and businesses are closed!  Imagine that!

Each of us that remember a spark of that life, or our perceptions of that life, and tries to continue to help humanity in small ways each day, has some disdain for those who sold their souls in the 1980’s.  Although we all know that we have to make a living in the world, we try to decide each day what is ethical and just.  Some people just make money and that is sad.  Yet, they continue to think they are doing some good by hiring the little people into their domestic chores.  There is an ethical issue here.  Perhaps these people would be on the street if there weren’t any menial jobs for them.  Yet, although there should be respect for any job category, people shouldn’t be held down.  They should reach their potential in any career they choose.

And what about those idealists, those Bohemians?  Are there any left that haven’t succumbed to the machine? Where are the great adventure writers of our time – the Jules Vernes, the Robert Heinleins, or the Asimovs of today?  Where is the imagination? Can we really say we were true Bohemians in the 1960’s?  Oh sure, many fled to San Francisco, and to the great western outdoors.  But, somehow, when we woke up, the 80’s reality hit us.  As we grew older, we found nothing to show for ourr bohemian lifestyle.  The money bug and comfort hit us  We went out and became the me generation.  Money, money, money was the name of the game.

There seems to be an insurgence of nostalgia about the times in 1999.  The children of this era are looking back and trying to figure out what was good and what was bad.  They want to know what they lost during those times.  They want to know if they grew up and did the right thing today.  The children of these children are simply trying to understand their parents and older siblings.

Some of us are trying to become parents in our 40’s and we start to think what really works for the best of the child and the community.  We know that we want our child to experience what is out there yet don’t want them to take drugs or be hurt.  We know that you can get a high out of life without artificial means, and we hope that we can portray this message to the future children.  We know we have learned more and more as we grow older, both inside and out of the classroom.  We know that we can allow these experiences to occur with our future children.  We can only hope they will grow up and see the world through those wonderful rose-colored glasses, yet be realistic in how to go out and make their own way without harming others.  Bohemian souls in an information age world?  Yeah, it could work.

Welcome everyone.