Tag Archives: mental-health

Going Back to Work

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Today I was offered a job to go back to work part-time. Three days a week and they work around my schedule and pay me well. Not bad. So, since my brain has been in overload, I decided to do it for the next few months. It’s nice to get a call from the HR people who know me. I can fill in until they get a new person. And I’ve worked in all of their computer systems, and I know how to deal with telephone calls and people, so I should still be able to do it. Sometimes you just have to get out of your daily routine comfort and take the plunge. We can save the money for expenses that are coming up and maybe even go out and have a nice dinner once in a while. I love my little city and the people in it. Thank you all for allowing me to continue doing what I do best.

Remember that being a senior doesn’t mean you have to just sit and quit. You can stay active and learn new things every day. Learn from the young people working around you, bake them cookies, and knit them scarves!

And if you hurt a little more, try and take a little break in between assignments so you can take a walk. Our downtown is wonderful, and walking to the park and back is both good for the head and the body.

Listen to some good music like Tom Jones, The Animals, Buffalo Springfield, The Foundations, Four Tops, and even 3 Doors Down.

Sing oldies but goodies, with your wonderful choir, to the ones in Memory Care.

Tomorrow will be another day in towards our future. We have to release the negative for a little while and do what we can when we can. And if we get a little money for it, that’s okay, too! Save a little, pass on what you can to help others, and smile. So, For Once in My Life, Build Me Up Buttercup, and Help [Your]self, Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch!

I love you all tonight and hope we can all just breathe it out.

How We Communicate as We Age

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Welllll…yesterday I was in music La La Land, wrapped up in tunes from long ago and far away for our next concert. So, I didn’t get around to posting, and I broke my writing streak! But “I’m back, baby!” Day 107, and counting up again! Frank Costanza-Seinfeld

Recently, I have been hanging out with a bunch of seniors and I have been pondering how we communicate, because we all seem to be talking at the same time and none of us are listening to what each of us are saying.

For example, I explain something or try and state what needs to be done, and the other person bounces back and said, “So you want me to do this (some task at hand that we’ve agreed to)?” And, I said, “No, I want you to do this.” And it goes back and forth like this verbally until I think they finally hear me. Or so I thought. Then, I get a text and they say, “You want me to do this?” And I text back, and say, “Noooo. I want you to do this.” And, then I get an email saying, “So I’m doing this, right?” At that point I get a little exasperated and say it one more time, hoping for the best outcome, or I say, “Never mind, I’ll do it.” So here’s the thing. Am I communicating the task clearly? Or is the other person communicating what’s in their head and not listening? Or do they just not want to listen or do the task at hand, even though they volunteered?

There have been several studies conducted on our aging brains over the last 20 years, and here are some brief summaries of what I have discovered that might be the cause of our communication dilemmas:

-Hearing Loss: Sometimes we just don’t literally hear what the other person is saying whether it is a physical manifestation, or background noise inhibiting what is being said. Closing the door to noises and speaking one on one to relay the message you intended is helpful.
-Elderspeak: We are so used to people feeding us (seniors) information in small bits, almost as if they were speaking to babies, and over-explaining topics, that we tend to stop listening when others use long sentences. While explaining things in a slower speech, not using complex sentences and repeating the facts may work for those who are really impaired. However, sometimes this method backfires on those who are still cognitively with us. We need to explain things thoroughly, but we need to continue to speak to adults like adults in hopes that they become better listeners, and thus better doers.
-Word Retrieval Failures: Sometimes we call these senior moments. We are receiving the information as a transmission, but we don’t know how to retrieve the response from our brain because the connections have weakened over time. For example, this is particularly common when we are trying to think of the name of a famous person or actor. I continue to blank on Elijah Wood for some reason. I have to look him up every time I am trying to relate a story or a movie he’s in (Frodo in Lord of the Rings, duh…) And I love his works, so why do I forget that?

These are only a few items that have been discussed in the National Institute of Health’s publication. Check it out and read this interesting paper on some of the earliest discoveries of our aging brains: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97337/

Back in the early 2000s, there was much discussion about using technology to help others understand what we are saying. For example, there have been great strides in the speech to text capabilities and use of computers and phones to translate what is being said. This is a wonderful tool, and folks like Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania is a great advocate of this. He has a brain injury and uses technology to help him understand speech and the language of others. Sometimes I think groups that I am currently involved in could use this technique to relay messages. They would also benefit the use of this technology as a learning tool to actively listen.

In a Psychology Today article Language, Comprehension and the Aging Brain, the author discusses the concepts of working memory and  verbal fluency. “Working memory is our ability to remember and manipulate a small chunk of information in an immediate context, as opposed to committing something to our longer-term memory (e.g., to remember that information at some later point) or even just holding information while we jot it down but don’t alter it…” (commonly known as short-term memory).

Verbal fluency is being able to communicate information from any category and relay it to another person. “For instance, when asked to come up with as many names as they [seniors] can for a given category (e.g., plants or animals), [is] a task requiring them to search through word meanings that have been cognitively stored, older adults generate fewer terms overall and have less range in terms of the terms they come up with.”

This article suggests that “…print exposure, i.e., reading experience, not only helps by providing another source of information to draw upon when making semantic or syntactic decisions but also might even compensate for declines in those with poor working memory. For more information on this article see: Working Memory-Aging Brain

Some people have a hard time with my fast-paced talking and desire to always learn new things. They get brain headaches when listening to me. I try and slow down my process for them the best I can, but there is always so much to be learned out in the world, and I want to share that knowledge. I don’t want my brain to atrophy as I age. I hope I am in the classification called the Cognitive Super Ager, but who knows? I haven’t taken the tests. I implore you to read up on this phenomena found on the web. It’s fascinating!

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/brain-health/how-aging-brain-affects-thinking
https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/cognitive-super-agers-defy-typical-age-related-decline-brainpower

I hope you all take a moment to appreciate this information and pass it on to your loved ones and friends who might be struggling. I know I will continue to read and learn as long as I am able, and I hope when my eyesight (and possibly brain) starts to fail, someone will read to me about new and exciting adventures and discoveries!

I love you all and hope you are enjoying every moment with your friends and families!

Overcoming Frustration and Riding the Peace Train

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Frustration: a deep chronic state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs; the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

People like me are task masters and goal seekers. We always have lists, spreadsheets, lots of articles and books to read when we set out to learn something or try to solve a problem at hand. The frustration comes in when we cannot achieve a multitude of tasks that we give ourselves or have been given by someone else. We become frustrated because there are others involved in the equation and we are stymied into inaction. We can’t do anything about it because others are doing something completely different or nothing at all about it. We have to wait and see what’s next. We feel helpless because we don’t seem to be heard, or people aren’t doing the things we think they should do. We sometimes get angry at the person who we are trying to help or the person who is trying to help us.

In an article published in 2023 by Harvard Macy Institute at Harvard Medical School, the author talked about what to do if you have “…too much on your plate.” It stated that we begin to feel like victims and that “…we feel like there are so many things we have to do or are forced to do. The first step is to remember that you are the one driving. Anything on your schedule or to-do list is there by your choice, which means you get to choose whether to keep it on there in the long term, or whether to phase it off.”

The article stated that the first step is to assess just what you really need to do to get through the day or week. Second, it is important to see what is causing the overwhelming feelings. Assess what is the 20% that is causing 80% of the stress (the 80:20 rule). “If you can identify the main sources of the stress, then you can home in on ways to de-stress, minimize, complete, or step away from them. If it is not something you want to cancel, think about how you could delegate parts of it.”

The third step is to find ways to get through the next week, and the weeks after that. Maybe it’s just taking a day to get out of the house, thus out of your head. For more information go to their website:
https://harvardmacy.org/blog/too-much-on-my-plate

In my case, it was literally removing items from my work desk to focus on one task at a time. I moved the 20% stacks to the back desk so I could focus on finishing the book. Everything else could wait. And, the second thing was to stick to the morning cleanup, then writing until I went to work out. The first of my week was a bit of a clusterf*^$k, but the rest of the week went better. I refuse to let that feeling of helplessness overcome my thinking. My levels of stress will continue to be high, as the lists will always be there, whether written or just in my head, but I’m going back to the one thing at a time rule. I can only do the things I can do for now, and put off bigger life-changing decisions until later. I can’t let the anger of the world invade the space I need to solve daily problems.

There will always be some things that I can’t change right now, and I can’t quite let it go, but I can wait until I get some help on larger matters. I feel that we, as human beings, right now, on this planet need to take a collective breath, and turn off all the noise for now. We can only support each other and justify that our actions will bring about change in the world. Hope for the good things to come and try and ride the peace train for now. Love to all on this cold night.

Excerpt from PEACE TRAIN, Cat Stevens

Something good has begun
I’ve been smiling lately
Dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be
Something good’s bound to come…

I’ve been crying lately
Thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating?
Why can’t we live in bliss?…

For out on the edge of darkness
There rides the peace train
Peace train take this country
Come take me home again….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9cJRqsKZKo

Interconnectedness

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Today’s reflection is about how we are connected in the world and how we communicate through the airwaves. The dictionary describes connectedness as the state of being connected and having a close relationship with other things or people. I believe that each person is their own distinct, physical being, but they can be connected to each other and nature in many ways. Connectedness is not necessarily bound by physical touch or language. Sometimes we just know something is going on, for example in a dream, or a stray thought. Years ago, I knew when each parent died. They came in my dreams to say goodbye. There are many examples that we have where we just knew something, the feeling that something was wrong, or got something in the mail that we knew was coming, and we called to check on the people that we loved.

We feel the emotions amplifying in a crowd, especially fear and anger. Perhaps that’s why we are feeling despair and discontent over decisions that are being made in the highest offices. We feel what over fifty percent of people are collectively feeling. Our interconnectedness is physical, emotional, and cognitive. Our global shared consciousness reaches out into all of our mental spaces. We are not individual islands and must become part of a bigger world, the ocean of mental waves.

If we share this despair, perhaps we can determine at a higher level that we are not alone in our thoughts and reach out to each other in our mental states. We should be free to keep the memories of the past, but make new memories and friends who share a common goal – protecting democracy and the people of all nations and races. Billionaires should learn from their families’ histories and be better human beings. They should learn how to connect with all those who are in need. Fascism cannot reign and must not be ignored in our society. It happened once before, and we wholeheartedly fought it. We must fight the good fight right now and restore a fair and balanced world. We have buried our forefathers and now we are the elders. We must act like the good and kind ones, and make progress towards fixing what has been broken, one little act of kindness at a time.

In Alice Hoffman’s latest book, The Bookstore Keepers, she stated, “Some things [will] always be remembered because they [are] handed down, things like love and memories and stories.”

For the rest of our lives, let’s remember the love and the beautiful stories handed down to us by telling our children about our past, both good and bad things that happened and what we learned as a result of our actions or in-actions. Let’s ask them not to repeat the bad parts of history and strive to make the world a better, and more peaceful place to live out their lives.

I love you all and wish only the best each day. Hugs tonight for those who need it.

Pause and Breathe and Schedule Worry Time

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Today seemed more stressful than others because I have a lot on my plate right now. So, of course I went searching on the web and found a bazillion articles on this subject. I found so many similarities of what to do but, this Calm website focused it a little for me. I don’t agree with everything, and decided to analyze what they were saying.
https://blog.calm.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-feel-overwhelmed

Every self-help article has the classic how-to list regarding how to feel less overwhelmed. I feel I have embraced most of them and yet there are just those days. Here are a few of those listed from this website:

The first of the 12 on their list was to just pause and breathe. I tell this to people all the time and yet it is a hard step for me.

These articles always talk about talking to other people. I am good at that, but it doesn’t always solve the immediate problem. So I usually end up helping others solve their problem.

Meditation is another one that’s listed. I have a friend who runs a meditation class but my brain doesn’t shut off. It’s a practice, I know. So the main problem is how to schedule this time for the practice, right?

Journaling is always listed. I journal each day and try to let go of the day, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It just brings all the thoughts into more focus.

And of course every article tells you to get some sleep. Well, I can tell you I am like the woman on the show High Potential and sleep never happens easily. Neither of us know how to shut down our brains. I am so enamored of people who can actually sleep 8 hours a day. I have never been able to do that. And pills make me crazy the next day so I gave up on that!

There is always the Focus on What You Can Control. When did that ever work?

Get moving! I definitely know how to exercise and that has helped. And once the weather gears toward spring, I’ll be out in my garden. That is the best for me!

Break larger tasks into smaller steps. Trust me, I am the queen of spreadsheets and that still doesn’t help. You still have to do all of those things you have broken down so how does that help?

And finally, this was a laughable one: Schedule Worry Time. The article said, “Set aside a specific time to think about your worries. Outside of this time, try to keep your focus on the present.” Unfortunately, the worries are the focus in every present moment so I didn’t get that one. Who can do that?

So, I know baking, knitting, gardening, and walks in nature help me. I can bake, knit, and walk inside right now. I know we are in a time of chaos, and the status will eventually reach equilibrium. If we can be vigilant with our thoughts and actions we can get through the day without being overwhelmed. That’s what I am working on and hope the sun will come out soon. I love you all and feel the intensity of the world right now. Hang in there!

https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/cat-hanging-in-there

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz-Part II

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This is an extension of Tuesday’s blog with a more in-depth analysis. Ruiz believes we have been taught since childhood to “…fit into society’s mold,” which made us forget who our “true selves” are. If we can adopt the Four Agreements as part of our lifestyle, we might break through these limitations. Why wouldn’t we want to live a life of freedom, happiness, and love?

The first agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, is a powerful understatement. Our words are a power that create influence on everything. Words are not just sounds or symbols. Nuances carry energy and intention. They can heal, harm, uplift, or degrade. Every time we speak we can go in a direction of positive or negative. Inflection is key, and your intentions manifest through your outspoken thoughts. Negative and hateful speeches can bring doom and gloom to any conversation and create a world which we don’t want to live. Remember your history. This happened many years ago in Germany. A horrible leader used his words to manipulate a whole country, mostly intelligent people, into committing the most atrocious acts and enter them into a World War. Humans destroyed each other because he activated their fear. They became afraid of each other. Ruiz stated that “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.” Being impeccable with our word can transform us, create a better belief system, and foster loving and healthier relationships.

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally, delves into the idea that people’s actions and words are reflections of their own beliefs and emotional states, not necessarily about us. When people react negatively to what is said to them, and they don’t believe the information is the truth, it is due to the fact that they are actually struggling internally to some message they know isn’t true. They stand by a belief or misinformation. They believe they are in the right. The vulnerability of this emotional turmoil makes us hurt, angry, or defensive, and we lash out. If we can take a step back and not be swayed by either praise or criticism, we become more emotionally stable. If we can have honest conversations and agree to disagree, we can make progress. In the movie, Dr. Strange, he is confronted by the Ancient One on a roof top in New York. Dr. Strange had a terrible car accident which crippled his hands (he was a neurosurgeon). In the conversation the Ancient One reminds Strange of his fear of failure. Strange thinks it’s what made him a great doctor. The Ancient One told him that fear was what actually kept him from true greatness. She tells him that was why he never found true happiness. Her last words to him were: “It’s not about you.” So let’s look outside ourselves, our fears and move beyond “taking it personally,” we might learn something new about the rest of the world. Ruiz states: “If you live without fear, if you love, there is no place for any of those emotions.”

Two favorite quotes of the day. Something to think about:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”― Maya Angelou; and
“When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you’re using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?”—Ron Howard

Part III tomorrow on the third and fourth agreement. I love you all and hope you take a moment to reflect what’s holding you back to embrace love in the universe and yourselves.

Happiness Quotient

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The happiness quotient (HQ) is a measure of a person’s level of happiness. It can be used to assess an individual’s overall well-being. It is not a hard science, but it determines where we are at, mentally, during stressful times.

The Harris Poll reported some significant trends that will have staying power in 2025.
https://theharrispoll.com/briefs/america-this-week-wave-253/

Here are two of those trends that should be addressed by all of us to increase our Happiness Quotient:
Feelings are more important than facts. “Last summer, while the market was roaring, we polled with the Guardian to ask Americans a pop quiz on the nation’s economy. Americans got it wrong, with (49%) believing the S&P was down (it was up); that we were in a recession (56%), and that inflation was rising (72%) (no to both). Surprisingly (76%) of Americans told us that economists may say things are getting better, but they’re not feeling it where they live. Economic dissociation was a canary in the election coal mine and proof that we are in a post-fact society where institutions and authority are less important than the voices of those we trust and with whom we have shared lived experiences. More and more trust will be built bottom-up than top-down.” And that can have negative impacts such as what we saw in the last election. If the facts are so way off the mark and incorrect that people project on others, society will have a breaking point.

The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of mental health. In 2024 Elmo from Sesame Street tweeted out: “Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?” and got trauma-dumped by the Internet. “The tweet, and the campaign it spawned, reached over 300 million people, with more than 3 million heartfelt reactions pouring in. As Elmo’s viral moment and this new study indicate, the most pressing issue facing American families right now is mental health and emotional well-being.” When asked what we should prioritize for the future well-being of our country in our Sesame Workshop Harris Poll  State of Well-Being Report, (77%) believe mental health, well-being, and happiness are nearly equal to economic stability (80%). This year, wellness will move from a squishy, feel-good concept to a monetizable national asset.

“Americans see kindness and resilience as pathways to improving well-being. Strong majorities of Americans say it’s important for society to promote kindness (85%) and resilience (83%).”

For further information, go to:
https://sesameworkshop.org/about-us/press-room/sesame-workshop-and-the-harris-poll-unveil-inaugural-index-on-the-state-of-americas-well-being/#

So what I have to say each day is about how to send out love and kindness to the universe. If there is such a thing as a collective consciousness, I want to put those grand positive thoughts out there! It’s not always about the politics as my friend seems to think (although we need to be logical and calm when we go up against misinformation that we overhear in conversation and sometimes I’m just…not calm…. But I won’t apologize for that right now.)

My process for peace and happiness is about being in a good frame of mind most of the time. It’s about being able to live in our little bubble of happiness that rises up each day. It’s about doing what we can to help our individual selves, our families, and others cope with what’s to come in our future personal lives and worldwide. It’s about loving and supporting each other, day to day, and ignoring the hate, and figuring out where we fit into the world. It’s about how to live our lives to the fullest.

So maybe I’m idealistic in my thoughts that all people should be treated equally and not have to put up with hate and misinformation. Maybe I just want to be that one more voice that gives off positive, helpful information regarding what we can do each day that we are here in this realm. And maybe other people should acknowledge that it’s okay for me to feel the way I feel right now. I can’t ignore every conversation that surrounds me. And, I really shouldn’t have to. We must all figure out how to get along and stop spewing nonsense. We have to learn to trust the process once again and even though trust is hard right now, equilibrium will happen in the future. We just have to get through the day. We have to live with our own thoughts and actions.

I love you all and hope you can learn to be kind to each other every day.

The Power of Journaling: Leaving Your Mark

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I just finished reading an incredible book called The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon. The heroine, Martha Ballard, (based on a real person in history) is a midwife in the late 1700s and her trials and tribulations make me thankful that I am a woman of a certain age with personal rights and powers in this century (so far). One of the things Martha performed in this story was recording all of her activities each day (with quill and ink no less!) in her journal. In one chapter, she praised her husband for teaching her to read and write (women weren’t allowed or encouraged to do these things in her day). He helped her create a world that opened up so many possibilities. He bought her journals, and created pens for her. She asks herself why the daily writing was so important to her. Martha’s answer to herself was because her “…markings will one day be the only proof that I have existed in this world. That I have lived and breathed…It is not that I want to be remembered, per se. I have done nothing remarkable. Not by the standards of history, at least. But I am here. And these words are the mark I will leave behind.”

WOW! WOW! WOW! 5-star reviews all the way!
Lawhon’s writing inspired me to keep doing what I do. She does her research, and gives amazing details that add to the story. She is a crusader for all women! And she unpacks her story at the end of the book like I do, giving explanations and facts about how the story came to her and how she drafted the book. And, what a record to have uncovered from the past. How cool is that?

So, to me, writing is not just a daily brain exercise, but a way to leave your mark on society. And, yes, we don’t have to write with quills, or even pens and paper, but computers allow us to journal every day, and help us leave a small mark of our existence in a world of unknowns. Daily journalling (or blogging) of any kind can help ease our tortured souls and send questions out to the universe. Even if they don’t get answered, we have aired our frustrations out loud. We have voiced our thoughts on any subject that comes to mind. Sometimes we are way off the mark, but other times we are spot on. It’s this discourse that is needed to have a sane and logical existence for all of us. Writing shouldn’t be about hate, anger, or craziness, just interesting ideas, and history to cogitate on, and maybe words that change our opinions of ourselves and others, and our interactions with others.

So maybe I’ve not taken a lot of paths that I should have taken, but I have found peace in this valley of the Foothills, describing daily life lessons in my little blog. My life is peaceful at the moment and I intend to keep it that way. I have a little piece of paradise, even though it’s really cold outside.

Today I hope you reflect on your life lessons and maybe write a few of them down. (There’s still time to take my Valentine’s Day questionnaire and get back to me!)
https://drutieben.com/2025/01/15/valentines-day-questionnaire/

There’s still time to get on board the love train and make your own noise (or journal them) and make your own mark in the world. Love reigns tonight and I praise you efforts!

Future Forecasts and Creepy Sounds in the Night

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We are still fearful animals when things aren’t going the way we expect them to, or darkness and cold overwhelm us at nighttime. Why do we jump to noises in the night? It’s because our animal instincts arise in the dark (or dark times). Our caveman/woman comes out and our fears overwhelm us. We don’t want to get eaten by creatures in the night.

Today that translates as we want everything to go our way, and there are millions of opinions about what that way is. And yet, our brain tells us that we keep expecting others in positions of power to do everything we want them to do. Unfortunately, these people are just as human as we are, and they want to stay in power, so fearmongering is what they do, causing the rampant escalation of speculation.

So, we continue to get frightened in the dark, and can’t get out of our depression. Sometimes we lose our motivation and don’t know how to get it back. Sometimes we just have to sit and think. And, then we must move on from that state of mind. We must push away the darkness and move forward freely and lovingly with each other. We must take back control of our own minds.

It’s hard to maintain positivity in our actions when we don’t know what our future holds. And depression can have such a devastating effect on a person’s health and wellbeing. So let’s try to uplift each other with positive thinking. Pay it forward and keep on sending out good vibrations. Exercise and connect with friends when possible. Walk and talk with each other, giving encouragement and keeping the negative talk at bay. Cook and eat delicious meals with each other on a regular basis and talk about your day. Set your priorities with your tasks and break big overwhelming tasks into smaller ones. Do what you can when you can. Face your fears. Don’t avoid the things that are difficult. Embrace the challenge. And finally, be patient with yourself. That is probably my biggest  problem. I want to do everything and be everywhere, all at once. I want to follow that everything bagel to take over and make my life simpler and tell me that nothing matters. (See that movie!!!) But I know that’s not what I need.

So yes, life is difficult. We don’t always need others to over-explain things to us. We are all knowledgeable humans in differing ways. Sometimes, we just want others to actively listen to us, and acknowledge something we said with just a nod or say, “Oh, that’s so cool!” And, sometimes, we want people just to do something for others and motivate others freely without complaining about the situation. Sometimes, we want others to think beyond themselves and stop saying, “That doesn’t work for me.” OF COURSE all of the things don’t always work for you or me, but at least try to go around the obstacle and think of a better way to solve the problem. So, stop saying that. It’s really not productive.

It’s time we push our fears of the dark and the creatures that go bump in the night, and give a helping hand to others who are struggling with life. It’s time to give an ear to someone who needs us. It’s time we release the egocentric and move on to the altruistic side of the pendulum. Do something good every day for the rest of your life and you might balance the scales. I hope you have a safe drive out in this cold world and a warm and cozy night. Love and hugs to all.

Coping with Anxiety: My Journey and the 333 Rule

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Whenever my anxiety flares-up I dream some really weird dreams about driving along a treacherous road. (Quite the metaphor, huh?)
-Usually it is along a mountainous path that is very narrow or one-laned. It is not paved and the car coming towards me is always driving fast like a bat out of h*ll.
-Another dream had me driving up the snow-covered rocks on a narrow rock path in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. (It doesn’t exist that I know of!)
-Other times it is a return to my driver’s education test from my early driving years on, you guessed it, dirt roads in my neighborhood in our small southern countryside, or around the courthouse the next town over.

But last night was different. It was a combination of my southern routes with the windy dirt roads, but in the mountains of Colorado. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and took a shortcut. The road was all lumpy, like someone had churned up the dirt with a plow and left it that way. Clods of dirt were piled up and underneath them was soft and sandy dirt. It was hard to get over in my little Subaru Crosstrek, but I was persevering until I came to a rock wall, similar to the Garden of the Gods type of wall. (What an imaginative and weird combination, right?)

I got out of the car and walked around and then looked for a way to get out. Then I walked back down the road and heard singing. When I looked over the ledge, I saw a band setting up and playing with the rock wall against their backs. And I saw my friend Karen sitting there listening to the band. She looked around and said, “What took you so long?” And then I woke up.

My friend is out of town, so she was on my mind. I always worry a little about them because they take amazing trips, but to places that are a little scary sometimes, at least, that’s what I think when she describes them to me. I guess I’m just a worrier at heart.

So, I have been pondering ways to cope with anxiety. I have been writing more, exercising more, meditating, reaching out to friends, and trying to stay in the present moment (mindfulness). I also read about the 333 Rule:
Identify three objects;
Listen for three sounds you hear; and
Move three parts of your body.
The 333 rule helps people focus on the present moment and distract from anxious thoughts. It’s based on mindfulness, which is a way of being aware of the present without judgment. 

The 333 rule is a mindfulness technique that can help people feel calmer and more focused when they’re feeling anxious. It can be used anywhere, anytime and doesn’t require any supplies or speaking. Finally, you can repeat it as many times as needed.
For more information go to: Healthline.com
Other strategies can include:
Keep a journal;
Get enough sleep;
Avoid excess caffeine (don’t know if I can do that one);
Challenge negative thoughts;
Forgive yourself; and
Try to put things in perspective

For more information on being anxious, see these articles:
Prevention.com
Goodhousekeeping.com

So remind yourself that it’s okay to stop worrying. Work through why that makes you so anxious if you stop. Take a deep breath and do something fun, like making homemade chicken broth, pouring it over some ramen and vegetables and slurp it up! So delicious and comforting. I love you all and send warm hugs to everyone who has to be out in this weather!