i am always reflective about the people in my life around this time of year. Spring brings hope after a dismal winter. Here are a few things I am grateful for:

I am grateful that I am loved and wanted and have a wonderful house and community. I am grateful for a loving family, a husband who knows how to fix things and continues to learn how to build things. I am grateful that he continues to create amazing things on the computer for me and my books. I am grateful for a son who is smart and kind and champions little ones when they are being picked on. I am grateful that I have all my faculties still intact. I am grateful that I am able to create fun and interesting books by learning something new every day. And, I am grateful to pass on the tools I’ve learned onto others who want to learn. No matter what you have, tomorrow is the day to be grateful and support those around you. Happy Easter, everyone.

OR:
SOME PEOPLE NEED A SYMPATHETIC PAT…
ON THE HEAD…
WITH A HAMMER

I am always amazed at the response when I tell people I’m writing a book. The first response I get is “I could write a book.” I respond with “Well, good for you. Good luck.” What’s weird, though, is that they phase it in a way to let you know that the writing part isn’t that difficult and anyone can do it. I don’t know why people think this is a good response. It baffles me. I’m here to tell you that it is very, very hard to write a book and get it right so people will read it. But, a writer is driven to finish her work, and make it the best book possible so her readers will absolutely love it.

The second thing people say to me is, “Hey, I have this great idea that you could write about” as if we writers aren’t full of ideas. They demean the writing part as if it wasn’t important. Why is labor not important? In any field, you must have laborers to create a product. Writers are not only laborers; they are CEOs, accountants, technical staff, administrative staff, editors, publishers, and marketers.

And, why are writers the laborers and artists the dreamers? Writers have to be both. Great ideas don’t always create great books. It’s the crafting that makes a story come alive. And, we learn that craft by practicing. There is a pool of ideas that have been done over and over again. But, it’s how we craft our work that makes it our story.

This summer, I am speaking at to several book clubs who are reading Silver Element, and today, I want to clarify why I write.

All my life, I’ve read and enjoyed a variety of genres. I love science fiction and fantasy, mystery, contemporary fiction, urban crime fiction, literary fiction, and informative non-fiction. It is a wonderful escape into someone else’s world when I come up with dead ends, especially when I know something isn’t working and I have to cut it out completely. Research and reading allows me to explore where I fit in as a writer and where I want to be twenty years from now. Personal history helps me add depth to my characters. It also reminds me that I have done a lot of things in my life, and should be proud of my accomplishments.

Not everyone can write or write well. For those of us who choose to write—to tell a story—one that everyone will enjoy, the task can be both a delight and a curse.

For those of us whose write non-fiction, sometimes the task seems easy for others looking in. We have all these bits of information, facts that seem to organize themselves on the paper (or computer). The labor involved is how we prepare and present these facts on that very same paper. We understand what we want, but we have to make others understand. When I started writing fiction, I realized I had learned a lot from writing nonfiction. The storytelling is different, but the preparation is similar.

When I take on a new project, I over-prepare. I read and re-read everything in the genre. I take copious notes. I confuse me. I outline and re-outline. Then I sit. After about an hour of self-loathing, and questioning my sanity, I make many false starts.

I begin to think of everything else that needs doing around the house—writers know what I’m talking about. And, sometimes, I succumb to all those distractions, get up and get on with the doing. I put on a load of laundry. I wash the dishes. I go out to the garden and work for a while. Then, I take the dogs for a walk. And, by taking them for their walk, I realize that I have succumbed to their mockery.

When author Annie Dillard was writing something particularly hard, she said she looked down and discovered that the dog was staring at her. In her book On Writing, she stated, “The dog opened one eye, cocked it at me, and rolled it up before her lids closed.”

She said: “People should not feed moralistic animals. If they’re so holy, where are their books?”

After all the non-writing, I finally take heart to the task at hand. I take a deep breath, sit in front of my computer, set up the page, and begin typing. I start thinking about writing my Great American Novel (which I am currently working on, by the way). And, Voila! I get a chapter done and I’m amazed.

Some days the writing is really easy. I think it’s the best prose, ever. Other days, I just cut everything out of the work because it’s so bad.

Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird, once stated that “We write to expose the unexpected.” We writers write for many different reasons. Some of us are driven to tell stories since we first learned to write. Some of us catch the bug much later in life (you can guess who that is).

The arduous tale can be told easily or painfully. Annie Dillard also said, “Much has been written about the life of the mind.” Not all writers understand why they are driven to write. They just do. We give our story to our readers who buy our books. We hope they love it, and not just because they didn’t have to write it. We want our readers to just have the fun and easy task of enjoying the tale.

However, telling the tale is just the beginning. Then the real work begins. You have to get through 152 edits—not just the surface edits my writing mentor and teacher, Rachel Weaver, reminds me about. The next 500 steps are both a curse and a joy, because now you’ve moved on to your next project and quite simply, you’re sick of the last one. However you choose to publish, be it through traditional or indie publishing, the tasks are all the same. You want to make the best book possible. The work is the work. The path is the path*.

But, the ultimate joy for any writer is seeing a beautiful book in final print, all glossy and new. We’ve had our say; our 15 minutes of fame, and now the masses can enjoy our thoughts.

So, everyone has a beautiful story to tell. It’s in a human’s genetic make up to connect, to talk about our lives, or our fictional lives. I write to celebrate my age, to be okay with aging. I write to explore different ways of thinking, different ways of expressing the thoughts. I write to celebrate older women who push the envelope, to make readers think, hopefully to the point that they head is about to explode. I want my readers to think outside the box, and understand that there are not always the fairy tale endings. I write to write. The money will come, or not. (And, does making more money make a well-written book? Just because it’s popular doesn’t mean it’s well-written.)

I write colorful characters with a depth of layers that is fun to work through, to create people that are real, yet are superheroes in their own right. I write to solve the little mysteries and the big mysteries in my characters. I don’t have a formula, but I’m learning the craft as I go along. So, I may not ever be a million dollar seller (but I’m aiming for it). I do buy a lot of the best sellers, and I read them. I celebrate really good writers who make it up there. But if the work is bad, no matter how much money, or how little you make, it’s time to improve the writing. Sit down, do the research, make the story believable, even if it is a fiction book. Finish it, and learn to be satisfied with your work without any external validation.

Today my mantra is: Sometimes I really do know what I’m talking about.

Today I’m not beating myself up. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. I will keep working on the craft as well as all the technical stuff in the publishing end. I am doing my very best to make a great book.

________________

*Hugh Howey wrote this. He has helped me from time to time when deciding what direction to take. Check out this link: The Work is the Work. The Path is the Path.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/about/

When you start thinking you’re the worst writer in the world, heed these words from Neil Gaiman:

Tell your story (emphasis mine). Don’t try and tell the stories that other people can tell. Because [as a] starting writer, you always start out with other people’s voices — you’ve been reading other people for years… But, as quickly as you can, start telling the stories that only you can tell — because there will always be better writers than you, there will always be smarter writers than you … but you are the only you (emphasis mine).

His 8 rules on writing:

1. Write
2. Put one word after another. Find the right word, put it down.
3. Finish what you’re writing. Whatever you have to do to finish it, finish it.
4. Put it aside. Read it pretending you’ve never read it before. Show it to friends whose opinion you respect and who like the kind of thing that this is.
5. Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
6. Fix it. Remember that, sooner or later, before it ever reaches perfection, you will have to let it go and move on and start to write the next thing. Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.
7. Laugh at your own jokes.
8. The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it’s definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it ­honestly, and tell it as best you can. I’m not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about not only how we age, but how our brains age. In our twenties, we feared no one and nothing. In our thirties some of us got married, had kids, and our world grew smaller and more intimate. In our forties, some of us got divorced, went through a huge turmoil in life and moved on. In our fifties, we came to realize that we aren’t immortal, but some of us are still going to outlive our grandchildren through sheer willpower and meanness.

Me? I’m all turned around. I didn’t follow the norm. I had a full life and career before I married someone who I finally got along with (most of the time) and had a family. It’s not part of the evolutionary chain—believe me I know—to follow this pathway, but, hey, it worked for me.

But, now, it’s strange how my brain is reacting, even rebelling once again, at the norms. Most people my age are headed off to play in foreign lands. Most people my age are blogging and becoming foodies (okay, well, I do blog, and I do like to cook and eat out, I just have a nine year old that goes with me…..) Most people are taking care of their grandkids (where mine is their grandkids’ age). And… most people are ignoring their abilities to think.

In a conversation with a friend the other day, we brought up again how the new baby boomers (50’s now turning 60) are rocking the boat of the remnants of the WWII seniors. We think deeply and differently. We act differently. We like different books and music. And, the other seniors aren’t moving over. The older seniors are living longer… just like us. But, they simply don’t like it that we don’t fit in their world. So we say: ‘We are taking over….Bwa ha ha ha ha haaa’.

Seriously, though, what if I’m a little more impatient in the gathering crowds of young parents? What if I sound like my mother and ask them to control their kids? What if take control of my kid in front of them and stare at their little angel for causing the problem in the first place? (Those looks I get? Oh boy!) What if my kid gets along with seniors and kids alike? What if I want to put on 70’s and 80’s music in the Senior Center and rock it out! What if I don’t speak in clichés, such as ‘He doesn’t have any filters,’ instead of he is loud and funny and doesn’t give a d***n what you think? Or, ‘If so and so said it, it must be true.’ And why is that statement true? Believe me I research everything if an opinion is so outrageous that it offends and disturbs me. (Like I’ve asked people a million times: If you say it enough times, does it make it true?)

My thoughts are this: Don’t believe everything you hear. Listen to each other but it’s okay to question it and say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that.’ People are going to get mad at you because you don’t think like them. After all, you’re a 50+ body with a 20+ brain, right? Have your fifteen minutes of fame and go for it!

_______________

And on a final note: A non sequitur, but funny, comment from my father-in-law regarding vegetarianism and food obsessions:

“Quinoa: The new/old grain of the Aztecs. Yummy stuffed in the heart of a sacrificial victim!” We tried it; it was okay, made it again; ate some; didn’t feel any healthier; enough said….

The trade paperback is corrected and back online at Amazon and CreateSpace! Yea!

Recently, I’ve  been meeting a lot of new people – well new to me because I am going different times to work out. They were surprised I was the author, and that I was at their Rec. Center. Their comments, however, were very interesting. I wanted to set them straight on what they thought the book was about:

They thought the cover looked more like a fantasy book, and I told them,’Noooo, it was a mystery with a lot of supernatural elements in it.” I explained that my background was in law enforcement then they thought it was a true crime book. I said,”Noooo, it was all fictional, but the places were real and some of the characters were based on real people that live here.” Then, they asked me if it was like Stephen White (I get that a lot. He is a well-known in Boulder and the author of Dr. Alan Gregory novels. I said, “Noooooo. it wasn’t a psychological thriller and I am not in his league (sales) YET.”

So, all the queries got me thinking about how I would describe my books to others. I still haven’t come up with a perfect answer other than “What if some white-haired (Silver – get it?) ladies found a meth house in their neighborhood, and came up against some really bad guys such as gang members and bad-ass Rastafarians (we call them Trustafarians in Boulder). So….. I think I got their attention because it is all about older women taking charge.They seemed to like that description and many bought the book. Cool!

The last questions were about my name. One lady asked me if it was a pen name – they know me as Dru, not Drusilla. So, I said, “Nooooo, that’s my real name.” They then asked me about the background of the name. I told them it was Roman and that my mother had a penchant for really old names and blessed me with this one. I told the woman that if she was in the South she would get it. Then, she said, “Oh, well, I thought you might have written under a pen name and that you had written about vampires and it was some type of vampire name.” I said, “Nooooo, it wasn’t about vampires.” Sigh.

Strange world, huh?

“Don’t mess with old women—they didn’t get old by being stupid.” – Check out this guy’s site – very funny! http://haruth.com/

So, I figured out Jutoh; I figured out Mobi; I loaded the new edition up to Kindle; I talked to all the wonderful helpful folks at KDP on Amazon and now Silver Element is all beautiful.  Whew! (Well, except for one more tweak on the paperback through CreateSpace  – their upload issue, not mine, thank you! It will be back online sometime this week.) But all in all, I think I’ve done well this last week. I’ve done everything but write on the new novel that is.

There’s something both wonderful and melancholy about this weather we’re having. The trees are all white with frost and snow, the ground, unseen. To have such a mild fall and mild winter at first… then boom! Makes you ponder what is changing in our atmosphere. (Also, I read Matthew Mather’s CyberStorm this weekend. Creeeeepy!)

So… I’m making excuses now for not writing…. The snowstorm here and the ice makes me blue, and reading creepy books, slow sales…. (I know, wah wah….)

I wonder if I’ve done enough to prepare for what is to come, to make sure my family is safe. (Can we truly ever be safe?) This is a constant theme for me in my world, and my writing world. I feel it, I fear aging, and I fear the dark and the unknown, just like the caveman. At twenty, we fear nothing. Approaching sixty, I worry more. I also hurt more, and have a few more fears. I guess this is the natural state of affairs. I put up a great front. Outside, I am fearless; inside I have turmoil. I want to have that “I can take him” attitude but sometimes… .Ah these circuitous thought processes.

I know that the new piece will all come together eventually. I love my characters. They have a lot of chutzpah. I want to become each one of them (in reality, however, a part of each one of them is me.) So, back to it and here’s to a sunny day — soon!

The newest edited version is live! Amazon should send you all a message to upload it on your devices. If not, go into your Cloud Drive and check the automatic update box. The paperback was also updated. Thanks for your patience.

The updated version of Silver Element has been re-uploaded in paperback. Still working on the digital upload. Thanks for your patience!

Everyone has a perspective on issues of writing but let me offer up this:

Not all of us women want romance novels. What we love are strong women characters (and even write about them). Some of us love off-color jokes (like we don’t know what condoms are?). And we that are older (and a little grayer) want tough old broads who can take a punch! Not these fainting lasses. And maybe our parts aren’t as perky as they used to be, like some superheroes, but we are strong! And, we don’t wear those 4″ stilettos and thongs (with push up bras–although some of us might need them-the push-up bras, not the stilettos!). We want characters that are dressed sensibly, are strong in their own right, are smart, and have hunka, hunka burning love guys who are as strong as we are. And, maybe even identify even more so with those that get in lots of trouble. So…. no more swooning lasses, okay?

For all the naysayers out there – I’m fixing all the typos on the mystery. They were mostly in the first chapter (and only 4 or 5 so it’s still good! Geez!) I try to do my best at all times and my readers do, too. I’ll re-upload this weekend. And, Amazon will update your Kindles. Keep reading, please. I promise you it will be a good read, even with the typos!

But the reason for this post:

This is a follow-up to Hugh Howey’s post and my subsequent new post, and some disturbing news. Today, my doctor told me that there is a chance that I could go blind in my right eye and maybe even both of them in ten years if… and a lot more technical blathering and conditions after that. It made me sad to think that I would never be able to see another wonderful written word, or post, or read my son’s stories, or even write my own stories the way I’m used to. So…. I’ll do what I can to prevent it, but what if?

Will the audiobooks continue to thrive? Will there be some way to read Braille text on a computer? How can this avid reader cope? Well, I’ll tell you a few things I’ve noticed with the traditional book thing. First, it is is incredibly expensive to buy books in large print. Second, the eBooks are amazing. I can take my Kindle and make the print hugggggeeeee! Third, I love audiobooks! I listen to them when I’m baking, or doing chores, or walking, or working out! And, fourth, how does one go about learning Braille anyway? Is there a special computer for that?  Is it going to be available in any other format other than the printed one? Food for thought.

I’m sure I can enlist others to help me type up my books, but it is a different brain process. I talk about stuff all the time, but I create stuff with my fingers. Will the writing be different? Will I sound like all those little old self-help ladies, or will the story still come out in a strong voice? It will definitely be a transition, for sure.

For now, I’ll keep on writing, keep on telling my stories to my family, keeping the verbal tradition going – my son knows all my plots by heart. Thanks!

Seriously, folks. We all try to help each other as much as we can, but sometimes you just have to let it go. I try to lead my life the best way I know how. I am not responsible for all the world’s woes, only my own. I’ll always try to lend a hand, but sometimes, we just have to let it go! I can’t change it so don’t take it out on me. You are the only one who can change your life. When life gives you lemons and all that….

So, my mantra for this year:  No more drama!

Cheers!

P.S.: A must for writers: Read Hugh Howey’s latest post:  Data in the Form of Applause