How often have you heard the old adage: “Do what you love and the money will follow” and how often do you believe it? To me, it usually boils down to one or the other:

1. Do what you love. I am enjoying the writing, but alas it takes a long time to make money on it. So instead, I am striving to get better at my craft. With the help of my friend Mark McGinnis, who is the author of the Scrapyard Ship series, I am learning so much about the eBook and Amazon world. Who knew how much stuff I’d have to learn about uploads, and programs such as Jutoh, Calibre, and Mobi. Gaaaaaa! But it keeps my brain young—goooooo brain!

Hugh Howey, author of Wool, Shift, Dust and now working on Sand as well as many other projects is a wonderful source of information. He is the guru on direct publishing, he’s done well in sales and is still a nice guy! He is such a kind person and actually emails newbies like me. His message is clear: Keep writing, keep writing and keep writing. And, that’s what I’m doing. Thanks Hugh! This author builds on so much of her past, that it’s hard not to bug people to read it.

2. The money will follow…. Sometimes…. If you build it, the money will come… and all that. I know… I’m new to this. But, no matter how many times you send out the word, it is up to the readers to take a chance on your book and up to Amazon to post the reviews. (I still haven’t seen a single review…. Heavy sigh). So, come on readers! Take a chance! You won’t be sorry, I promise! Someday it will all come together. In the meantime, I will continue to write the story. It’s a good one, I promise.

 Now, having said all that…. the reason for the title:

I recently saw a Facebook site that really disturbed me. Actually, it really freaked me out. There were so many guns and crazy talk about intelligent design, creationism and other really bad things said about our president. I guess I don’t hang out with these kinds of people, so it was weird. This old geeky freak writes about peace and love and getting along. How come others do this stuff? Why do they believe in it? I hope this isn’t a growing concern. I live in Boulder and even though sometimes I trash talk it, I feel we are the sane ones. I am so far removed from rednecks that I forgot there are people like this out there. Sad, but true. So good luck with your bunkers and your survival tactics. Me? I’ll keep on believing in the system for now. However, I do have a little doomsday prepper in me because I do cook, bake my own bread, grow my stuff, store stuff in plastic buckets, and learn new things every day. So maybe I’m not as far removed as I’d hoped–well other than the automatic weapons and trash talk, trust me not even that!

So, Happy Solstice everyone! Don’t be sad, don’t be depressed. Go watch a bunch of Rankin and Bass cartoons, sappy Christmas movies, bake, put up decorations and be happy, dam….t!

Dear friends and colleagues:

I am happy to announce that my first fiction book is live on Amazon, as an eBook for $2.99.

This is the first in the Caitlin Ferguson mystery series, Silver Element by Drusilla Tieben.  Please give yourself a treat and order it for Christmas! Also, once you buy it, please write me a small paragraph for a review right away on Amazon by just clicking on the rate this book – 5 stars would be wonderful!  The ratings help with sales. People search for 5-star books! I appreciate your support and your forthcoming wonderful reviews! (I will have a paperback version in January, a little more expensive than the eBook, however since they actually have to print it.)

There are lots of fun Boulder scenes and wonderful characters based on local people and from my law enforcement years! Thanks for your support!

Here is the blurb on Amazon:

There’s a growing problem in the neighborhood. Drugs, rapes, and murder. The police are apathetic; and nobody is addressing the problem at the street level. A group of four women have turned to Dr. Caitlin McKinnon-Ferguson, a psychologist and police consultant–where they learn more than they ever hoped for. They go on the streets of Boulder to fight crime where no one expects them to become involved, because they are a little over-weight, a little gray-haired, and, to be honest, seem so nice.

This eclectic band of women learn about the powers of observation, police tactics, and martial arts. Caitlin’s first order of business is to organize walk-abouts. When they discover a meth lab in their little suburban neighborhood, they turn to the police–but nothing comes of it. Why? Then there’s an assault in Colorado Springs and a murder in Boulder. It’s up to Caitlin and her unlikely apprentices to connect the dots and solve the crimes before there’s another victim. What these five women didn’t count on was going up against a ruthless Rastafarian and his gang–a gang that would just as soon cut your throat as they would quietly pass by you in the dead of night.

Silver Element is a work of fiction—mystery and fantasy, set in Boulder, CO.

Looking forward to seeing your comments! Enjoy!

P.S. Drusilla Tieben is my full name. Dru is my nickname.

Here is my Bio on Amazon:

Drusilla Tieben is a former police officer, crime analyst, profiler, and police trainer. She holds a black belt in Aikido. She went to school in the south when streaking was a national competition, and women had to fight every step of the way to have real jobs and make a living. She is one of the few women who loves science fiction.
Discover the Life You Want to Live, published in 2012, is a work of non-fiction based on her career and life lessons.

Her new book, Silver Element, the first in the Caitlin Ferguson mystery series of mysteries takes place in Boulder and Colorado Springs, CO is now live on Amazon Kindle. The paperback version will also be released on Amazon next month. She lives in Colorado with her husband, son, and 2 attack wiener dogs.

Blog: drutieben.com

Of all the things, why would we ever want to buy a monkey? I’ve heard this often from my male friends. They think it would be so cool to own one. Most of the women I know would never consider owning such an exotic pet. I think fish and birds are too exotic!

So, I decided to conduct an in depth exploration of the Barenaked Ladies’ song: If I Had a Million Dollars, just to see what people would buy. I asked around got some interesting statements.

Question: “What would you buy first if you had a million dollars? Here are some of the answers I got doing my most inexpertly poll:

Guys would buy a monkey. Again, I ask: Why???? One woman said, “We’d never buy a monkey because we married them!” (I’m sorry, guys, that was funny!)

The most frequent answers are listed below. People would:

Travel

Pay off college

Spend more time with family; help various family members;

Help my children—medically because they don’t have insurance to pay off physical repairs. Then I’d buy a 1964 Chrysler 300 hardtop, cherry red with the rest of it.

Put it in the bank and think about what to do with it

Invest

Buy a house or pay off a house

Quit my job and travel with all my family members then buy a Corvette (and that was a woman’s answer!)

Go through my wish list (everything I wanted to buy)

And, the oddball answer that was so cool:  Get a few more Chihuahuas—you go girl!

Me? I definitely wouldn’t buy al those crazy elephant bones, Kraft dinners or a green dress. I would pay off all the bills, fix the house up, make sure my kid’s college fund was completely funded, support local charities—especially EFAA, located in Boulder, hire a full-time personal trainer—definitely the Fit after Fifty guy—Jack! Then, I would buy a few more chiweenies and dachshunds!

So, this time of year, let’s think about what we are thankful for, what we can do to help others, and do something a little bit nice for ourselves. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 FYI—Best Barenaked Ladies video (a little dated, but still funny): www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHacDYj8KZM

Recently, I was lucky to meet an amazing woman who also is an octogenarian. We got together to create a trade paperback for her son, whom I met at a writer’s class. He is now a pretty darn good muckety muck* on Amazon with his first eBook.  But she wanted a real book—to hold in her hands, to share with her friends, to just have it.

So we got together and yakked it up and I said, “Oh, yeah, I know how to do all this….” Sure I did.

The process is a huge undertaking. No wonder writers pay other people a lot of money to do all this dithery stuff. We just want to write, really, and maybe put up a fairly good book in the end!!!

But alas, unless you want to stay on the sidelines—or the side of someone’s desk for a gazillion years, you have to learn all about direct publishing. So we went to Create Space and set up an account. The first part was easy – your name, the name of the book, getting an ISBN – they do that for you, which is nice. Then, we got to the interior design. OMG! So, here is what happened: First we had multiple conversion errors. OK, so I left it as and 8½” by 11” file. Then I resized it. Then I forgot to save it as a .pdf file. Then I forgot to embed the text (Whaaaa?). Sizing and gutters and embedded texts, OH MY!

The biggest thing I learned out of this: Never ever never never never never never never never never never never use the templates…. Do it all in Word: Set up your margins exactly as they specify and set it up on a blank page in Word or Open Office. And, don’t forget the gutters!  Page breaks, and section breaks, headers and footers, making sure the headers and page numbering started on the correct page. Those were allllll a nightmare!

Upload upon upload upon upload, etc. It is maddening. You get the picture. Finally, it looks right…. Whew!

I don’t even want to talk about the Cover conversion. I’m not going there (OK well maybe a little bit). It’s a .pdf file that includes the front cover, spine and back matter specifications…. All you had to do is remember your high school math for all those formulas:

For a 5.25” x 8” book you need this: Width:  .125 +5.25 + .74316 + 5.25 + .125 = 11.49316; Height:  .125 + 8 + .125 = 8.25

CMYK, RGB color, 100% flattened to one layer and minimum resolution of 300 DPI. Argh! I know geeks understand this, but let’s face it, this old nerd was out of her league! So, fortunately, I got some help for all that. Too many big words and big software programs that I don’t have in my possession…. Thanks to the author for his help. Whew!

At least the KDP conversion was easy. (The author already did it!) But, eBooks are way cool. I’m liking them more and more…. (Especially that big print!)

I learned a lot from my octogenarian friend. I learned that I can do more than I think I can. She learned more than she will ever need to know about computery stuff, and we had a blast. I cooked, we ate, we talked and talked and talked. I made a good friend.

So, for all you young media consumers out there, please take a moment and thank us lowly old people who still like to write for you. Give us a break when you find a few errors. We really try hard to come up with good products. We really try to learn new stuff. It’s just that that pesky writing always gets in the way…..

_______________________

From Wikipedia: 

*Big boy, big cheese, bigfoot, biggie, big gun, big leaguer, big-timer, big wheel, bigwig, fat cat, heavy, heavy hitter, heavyweight, high-muck-a-muck (or high-muckety-muck), honcho, kahuna, kingfish, kingpin, major leaguer, muckety-muck (also muck-a-muck or mucky-muck), nabob, nawab, nibs, nob, pooh-bah, wheel.

I was ranting about something or other that drove me crazy about a new mother, or her kids, or a whole world of entitled people—something that has continued to bother me lately—when a co-worker asked me:

“Yeah, but why do you care?”

That stumped me for a little while. OK maybe a few seconds-before I spoke, and then I don’t know if the co-worker understood where I was coming from. Sometimes I’m pretty opinionated (OK most of the time). But, I’d like to ask: “If things don’t seem to be working out with a method that they are using, why can’t they see that? Why can’t they change how they do things? And, why are they afraid to ask for help? Do they not know that they need help?

Why does it take everyone so long to admit that it’s just not working?

My co-worker then stated, “You don’t know what their lives are like. They’re working or they’re single parents. They have too much on their plate. They’re busy.”

So I thought about it some more as to why I cared about other peoples’ lives. I care because it affects my life. For example, when I go to events for my child, I see chaos. No one has a good time because these other parents’ kids are screaming, or running around, and no one is doing anything about it. They don’t feel they have to. They don’t watch their little star on the stage. They’re too busy letting the siblings wreak havoc. These parents are on their phone, talking to their friends (rather loudly), texting, tweeting. They are not paying attention. And, they don’t see anything wrong with this…… Sigh. Maybe it’s just me? The same holds true for shopping, eating out at restaurants, and going to movies, or any other public event. What happened to discipline? What happened to ground rules? Why are we so busy making friends with our children and not enforcing some rules?

So I say: “We gotta look at why we are so busy all the time.

Are we such media consumers that we forget to look up and see what’s going on with our kids and our families? Are we so immersed in media and electronics that we can’t focus and contemplate a thought for more than a few seconds? Are we well-informed by the media, or are we allowing ourselves to be hypnotized by mass market opinions? Or, is media simply another distraction?

How can we learn to think about things deeply once again? How can we teach our kids how to sit and be calm with so much noise and distraction? How can we learn to trust that we are good parents?

Here are a few ideas I’m working on:

Learn to trust each other and the decisions you make.

Learn to take some time and actively listen to what others have to say without inserting an opinion or interrupting each other.

Learn to value life differences, and that doesn’t just mean age.

Learn to value each child you have. Give each one of them a special time with you. Leave the siblings at home or with a babysitter so you can focus on each one on an individual basis.

Learn when it’s time to trust teenagers. Hopefully, you’ve taught them well and can begin to give them more privacy as they get older. But, they have to earn that trust by right action.

I’m still not an advocate of having media in every room. We don’t give our kid a cell phone. We limit the time one each media device and it always comes after homework and chores.

It’s up to us to be the best parent, and mentor, that we know how. And if we don’t know something, we can’t be afraid to go out and learn a new way. We can’t sit back and let things just happen. We have to make it happen!

My advice: Get outside, go for a hike, sit under a tree and think about your life and your kids’ lives!

Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series. Reacher is a guy that anyone would love to be—big and strong and free. But he is also a little weird and autistic and not a part of the universe we live in. Maybe that’s why I’m fascinated by him. He had never had to deal with daily life stresses of family and obligation. Yet, he always takes on a cause if he feels responsible for making something awful happen.

I can relate to his feeling of displacement. He was the son of a military guy who then became a military guy, never having a home to call home, moving around and never settling down. The military was his life. He didn’t know anything else. He became a displaced, homeless guy after the military.

Although I wasn’t in the military, I was in a position with the police department where I was used to being in charge. Even though I was (and still am) a reluctant leader, I continue to take on monumental tasks and fight the system.

I once had easy access to all kinds of data. I knew just about everything that went on in the city, and would help get the right people arrested. When I retired and returned to civilian life, I didn’t have access to all that data.

I wanted, no had to, get out of police work. There are only so many awful kid stories, bodies and sex assaults that my brain could handle when I decided to start a family. It was time for a change.

So, by reading these Reacher novels, they brought home that I’m not on inside anymore—the one in the know. So I have learned to keep talking, keep listening, keep reading and keep in the know by creating a spy network. Sometimes it’s about connecting with other moms or grandmas in the neighborhood. Sometimes it’s about connecting via email, websites, blog sites, or other electronic devices. And, sometimes, it’s about connecting up with the seniors at the Rec Center.

The network reports back to me and we deal with whatever is going on. Seniors have the time to sit on a park bench, or in a car at the park, or lunch with each other. They see everything (well except the ones who don’t see so well, then they just ask what’s going on in a loud voice!) They deal with the potential criminal element by making them move on. Hey, they’re seniors—they have the right to be nosy and noisy.

So, maybe, like Jack Reacher, I’m just nosy, or I feel obligated to do something. Or, maybe, I get involved because I am a reluctant leader. Why do I think I can be in charge of something? Why do people depend on me? Because I project that know-how, harnessed with feistiness–although sometimes I have to call in favors from old cop buddies to really figure out what’s going on. People depend on me and trust me because I listen; because I’m not afraid to intervene–to take action; and because I have allowed others to believe in me. Thanks, Jim Grant (aka Lee Child) for creating this fictional character for all of us old ladies in the know.

Why does everyone else seem to know what’s good for you more than you do? Why is it that more than you do about when you are ready to publish your book? Who decides what real fiction is? Despite the flaws, when do you believe that you are a good writer? When is it good enough? (POGE-See post March 12, 2013). Obviously, you have to fix the major plot issues, as well as typos, drama, action, verb tense, dangling participles. But, despite all your flaws, continue to ask this question: Is it a good book?

I recently read a great article posted on a website called writetodone.com. The article was titled “Is Your Writing Any Good? Here Are Seven Ways You Can Tell.” I have accomplished these five:

1.  You’ve Been Told You’re a Good Writer.

2.  You can Look Back and See How Your Writing has Improved.

3.  You Have a Good Grasp of Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation.

4.  You Can Spot Sloppy Writing from Other People.

7.  You’ve Been Pair for Your Writing.

The bottom line is: Fix the first book to the best of your ability, upload it, and keep writing. I’m working on the self-acceptance part….

 I’ll close with an encouraging quote from a super-success story, self-published, author, Hugh Howie: “Be yourself. This shouldn’t be counterintuitive. Don’t lose sight of who you are. Embrace the awkwardness, the glee, the dumbfoundedness.” Thanks from this superfan.

This month, I’m wrapping up my new mystery novel, the first in a series of three—or four, depending on whether I die first from my head exploding.

It has taken me a long time to get the hang of this fiction writing thing. I know how to write non-fiction. I know how to outline, how to research a subject thoroughly. I know all about criminals, police tactics and crime scenes.

But, fiction is a whole ‘nother animal. I had to learn about dialogue, making something believable, how to set the scene, have dramatic tension, ask WHY, WHY, WHY, how to explain something without sounding preachy, and give depth to my characters. After all…I did choose to write fiction….

So, I took some classes. I met some people. I spent money on editing. (And why does everyone expect a poor, starving writer to spend money to make money? How does that help the writer become better? It helps all those other folks make money, but does it help the starving writer?) I spent time with marketers and business people who are now writers—all in the hopes of enlightenment.

The only thing that all of these classes, advice, and yes, shelling out money, did for me, was help me become a better writer. It allowed me to give myself permission to make the space and spend time in my head. It made me sit down and write, write, and write some more. Whether the prose was good or bad, whether I deleted five pages of sweat stained action, I wrote every day and sometimes all day. And then I go do the laundry, vacuum, clean, and get ready for Halloween, now Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc., etc., etc. Writing first!

Now that I’ve finished the first novel, and are in the throes of the 200^th edit (no exaggeration-okay maybe more than 200 edits), I am ecstatic about writing the next novel in this series. I want to see what is going to happen to my characters next. I’ve already begun the second book, outline is not so tight, and it is going much better this time. The writing is crisp and I don’t need to worry so much about the back story. I learned how to have a character who can be hurt, who can be complex, and who is the person that I want to become.

Hence, the title of this blog: “I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO HURT HER FEELINGS.”

In this first book, I had to make painful things happen to my character to give her the depth readers expect. I struggled with making her not so nice. I put so much of my personality into every character in the book I felt like if I hurt them, I was hurting me. I had to remind myself every day that it’s not me, it’s them that all of these things are happening to.

So, for all the agony of getting through this first piece, I still don’t want anyone else to hurt her feelings. It’s my life, it’s my character, so don’t be mad if she’s not exactly like you, the reader. Don’t hurt her through me with mean comments. Enjoy the read and write something nice about it, or don’t write at all. I will always read your new works and rate them high. I now understand the struggle. And, I will post the launch date as soon as I know. Thanks for listening.

Hey everyone,

A friend of mine helped me revamp my author page and ad on Amazon for my book Discover the Life You Want to Live.

Here’s what he wrote:

Please take a look and I’d love to hear from you on what you think. Is it more appealing? Would you be more likely to buy it? Thanks everyone!

No matter how old and weird I get, I’m reawakened when I can go and see my favorite band, RUSH. (They were in Denver Friday, August 2, 2013.)

I grew up with them. They are all around my age and can still rock. They were always awesome – even before we knew the meaning of the word – and still are!

• Geddy – still hits the high notes even though it takes a little longer

• Alex – fastest fingers I’ve ever seen

• Neil – what can I say – philosopher/writer, and the drummer of all drummers – so quiet in verse but loud in his beat – he speaks through his rhythm

And, even though you added all the pyrotechnics and string band for the kiddies, you still speak volumes with your images and songs.

Thank you for still rockin’ after all these years. Thank you for your words and music. Thank you from this old soul.

Now to the meat of the blog:

This blog was actually written to praise those who are the true storytellers—those who make the reading and listening so wonderful and cozy—an environment for the reader can melt into. You know it took a lot of work to get the story out, a lot of research, a lot of re-writes, a lot of sweat on what to keep in, what to cut out. Yet these writers seem to have a talent to make the tale flow so effortlessly, so comforting, so funny, so sad, and soooooo beautiful. Storytelling is an art unlike any other. When you can learn something from a well-researched (and well written into the story), that is a great story. There are those that have it and those that don’t.

There are those storytellers like Neil Gaiman that people not in the know go: Who? When he goes on a show and is announced, the audience is silent. They are in awe of him. And, he’s such a humble guy. He’s so knowledgeable and out there that we nerds get him.

New writers of science fiction have hugggggeeeeee shoes to fill. They have the greats such as Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson, Frederick Pohl, Robert Heinlein, Arthur Clarke, Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle to look up to, but can they follow in the footsteps of the great? I read lots and lots of SF, but I’ve only found a few ‘newbies’ that I’ll keep following—such as Michael Flynn. He has studied the greats and his writing shows it. Oh, I’ll keep reading the ‘newbies’ but so far I have only a few that have been promising enough that I’ve gone back and ordered a second book.

I also read a lot of mysteries and am disappointed in a lot of the female writers. Maybe it’s because I expect more. Maybe it’s because I was in law enforcement and they don’t make any effort to research and get into the facts of a case. I’m not talking ‘true crime’ stuff, just make the case interesting. If I’ve figured it out by the 2^nd or 3^rd chapter, it is a sad state of affairs.

And I won’t even begin to get started on the formatting, bad grammar, wording and other ills of new uploads. That is such a distraction. (Get good readers, people before you upload!) Although, I am a great fan of being able to be in total control of your own book!

And so, I am trying to become one of these people, these great story tellers of science fiction and mystery. And to do this, I read a lot. I read a lot of great books, good books, bad books, and really, really bad books. It is my hope that I will wind up somewhere closer to the good books category. I have to work very hard not to spew knowledge to people. I have to work very hard to have great dialogue and great dramatic tension. I know where my strong points are, and that is in the beginning of the project—great research is my forte. Where I get stuck is the day-to-day process of making sense of all that stuff in my head, and where I want to go with the book.

When I am helping my son, I notice I over-correct grammar, spelling, formatting. I do the same thing in my writing and that stifles me. So, I am attempting to back off a little and let him tell his story before all the correcting. That is what I am trying to do in my work. It’s hard sometimes, because I am a severe critic to him and to me. I have to go back to the very beginnings of my story time when I was a little kid and remember the good feeling of the story—the anticipation, the joy, and the endings. If you can get back to the joy of those beginnings, you will tell a great story. This is my goal.

So, thank you all you greats from my past. I am trying to live up to what I perceive your expectations would be of me.