Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about not only how we age, but how our brains age. In our twenties, we feared no one and nothing. In our thirties some of us got married, had kids, and our world grew smaller and more intimate. In our forties, some of us got divorced, went through a huge turmoil in life and moved on. In our fifties, we came to realize that we aren’t immortal, but some of us are still going to outlive our grandchildren through sheer willpower and meanness.

Me? I’m all turned around. I didn’t follow the norm. I had a full life and career before I married someone who I finally got along with (most of the time) and had a family. It’s not part of the evolutionary chain—believe me I know—to follow this pathway, but, hey, it worked for me.

But, now, it’s strange how my brain is reacting, even rebelling once again, at the norms. Most people my age are headed off to play in foreign lands. Most people my age are blogging and becoming foodies (okay, well, I do blog, and I do like to cook and eat out, I just have a nine year old that goes with me…..) Most people are taking care of their grandkids (where mine is their grandkids’ age). And… most people are ignoring their abilities to think.

In a conversation with a friend the other day, we brought up again how the new baby boomers (50’s now turning 60) are rocking the boat of the remnants of the WWII seniors. We think deeply and differently. We act differently. We like different books and music. And, the other seniors aren’t moving over. The older seniors are living longer… just like us. But, they simply don’t like it that we don’t fit in their world. So we say: ‘We are taking over….Bwa ha ha ha ha haaa’.

Seriously, though, what if I’m a little more impatient in the gathering crowds of young parents? What if I sound like my mother and ask them to control their kids? What if take control of my kid in front of them and stare at their little angel for causing the problem in the first place? (Those looks I get? Oh boy!) What if my kid gets along with seniors and kids alike? What if I want to put on 70’s and 80’s music in the Senior Center and rock it out! What if I don’t speak in clichés, such as ‘He doesn’t have any filters,’ instead of he is loud and funny and doesn’t give a d***n what you think? Or, ‘If so and so said it, it must be true.’ And why is that statement true? Believe me I research everything if an opinion is so outrageous that it offends and disturbs me. (Like I’ve asked people a million times: If you say it enough times, does it make it true?)

My thoughts are this: Don’t believe everything you hear. Listen to each other but it’s okay to question it and say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that.’ People are going to get mad at you because you don’t think like them. After all, you’re a 50+ body with a 20+ brain, right? Have your fifteen minutes of fame and go for it!

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And on a final note: A non sequitur, but funny, comment from my father-in-law regarding vegetarianism and food obsessions:

“Quinoa: The new/old grain of the Aztecs. Yummy stuffed in the heart of a sacrificial victim!” We tried it; it was okay, made it again; ate some; didn’t feel any healthier; enough said….

The trade paperback is corrected and back online at Amazon and CreateSpace! Yea!

Recently, I’ve  been meeting a lot of new people – well new to me because I am going different times to work out. They were surprised I was the author, and that I was at their Rec. Center. Their comments, however, were very interesting. I wanted to set them straight on what they thought the book was about:

They thought the cover looked more like a fantasy book, and I told them,’Noooo, it was a mystery with a lot of supernatural elements in it.” I explained that my background was in law enforcement then they thought it was a true crime book. I said,”Noooo, it was all fictional, but the places were real and some of the characters were based on real people that live here.” Then, they asked me if it was like Stephen White (I get that a lot. He is a well-known in Boulder and the author of Dr. Alan Gregory novels. I said, “Noooooo. it wasn’t a psychological thriller and I am not in his league (sales) YET.”

So, all the queries got me thinking about how I would describe my books to others. I still haven’t come up with a perfect answer other than “What if some white-haired (Silver – get it?) ladies found a meth house in their neighborhood, and came up against some really bad guys such as gang members and bad-ass Rastafarians (we call them Trustafarians in Boulder). So….. I think I got their attention because it is all about older women taking charge.They seemed to like that description and many bought the book. Cool!

The last questions were about my name. One lady asked me if it was a pen name – they know me as Dru, not Drusilla. So, I said, “Nooooo, that’s my real name.” They then asked me about the background of the name. I told them it was Roman and that my mother had a penchant for really old names and blessed me with this one. I told the woman that if she was in the South she would get it. Then, she said, “Oh, well, I thought you might have written under a pen name and that you had written about vampires and it was some type of vampire name.” I said, “Nooooo, it wasn’t about vampires.” Sigh.

Strange world, huh?

“Don’t mess with old women—they didn’t get old by being stupid.” – Check out this guy’s site – very funny! http://haruth.com/

So, I figured out Jutoh; I figured out Mobi; I loaded the new edition up to Kindle; I talked to all the wonderful helpful folks at KDP on Amazon and now Silver Element is all beautiful.  Whew! (Well, except for one more tweak on the paperback through CreateSpace  – their upload issue, not mine, thank you! It will be back online sometime this week.) But all in all, I think I’ve done well this last week. I’ve done everything but write on the new novel that is.

There’s something both wonderful and melancholy about this weather we’re having. The trees are all white with frost and snow, the ground, unseen. To have such a mild fall and mild winter at first… then boom! Makes you ponder what is changing in our atmosphere. (Also, I read Matthew Mather’s CyberStorm this weekend. Creeeeepy!)

So… I’m making excuses now for not writing…. The snowstorm here and the ice makes me blue, and reading creepy books, slow sales…. (I know, wah wah….)

I wonder if I’ve done enough to prepare for what is to come, to make sure my family is safe. (Can we truly ever be safe?) This is a constant theme for me in my world, and my writing world. I feel it, I fear aging, and I fear the dark and the unknown, just like the caveman. At twenty, we fear nothing. Approaching sixty, I worry more. I also hurt more, and have a few more fears. I guess this is the natural state of affairs. I put up a great front. Outside, I am fearless; inside I have turmoil. I want to have that “I can take him” attitude but sometimes… .Ah these circuitous thought processes.

I know that the new piece will all come together eventually. I love my characters. They have a lot of chutzpah. I want to become each one of them (in reality, however, a part of each one of them is me.) So, back to it and here’s to a sunny day — soon!

The newest edited version is live! Amazon should send you all a message to upload it on your devices. If not, go into your Cloud Drive and check the automatic update box. The paperback was also updated. Thanks for your patience.

The updated version of Silver Element has been re-uploaded in paperback. Still working on the digital upload. Thanks for your patience!

Everyone has a perspective on issues of writing but let me offer up this:

Not all of us women want romance novels. What we love are strong women characters (and even write about them). Some of us love off-color jokes (like we don’t know what condoms are?). And we that are older (and a little grayer) want tough old broads who can take a punch! Not these fainting lasses. And maybe our parts aren’t as perky as they used to be, like some superheroes, but we are strong! And, we don’t wear those 4″ stilettos and thongs (with push up bras–although some of us might need them-the push-up bras, not the stilettos!). We want characters that are dressed sensibly, are strong in their own right, are smart, and have hunka, hunka burning love guys who are as strong as we are. And, maybe even identify even more so with those that get in lots of trouble. So…. no more swooning lasses, okay?

For all the naysayers out there – I’m fixing all the typos on the mystery. They were mostly in the first chapter (and only 4 or 5 so it’s still good! Geez!) I try to do my best at all times and my readers do, too. I’ll re-upload this weekend. And, Amazon will update your Kindles. Keep reading, please. I promise you it will be a good read, even with the typos!

But the reason for this post:

This is a follow-up to Hugh Howey’s post and my subsequent new post, and some disturbing news. Today, my doctor told me that there is a chance that I could go blind in my right eye and maybe even both of them in ten years if… and a lot more technical blathering and conditions after that. It made me sad to think that I would never be able to see another wonderful written word, or post, or read my son’s stories, or even write my own stories the way I’m used to. So…. I’ll do what I can to prevent it, but what if?

Will the audiobooks continue to thrive? Will there be some way to read Braille text on a computer? How can this avid reader cope? Well, I’ll tell you a few things I’ve noticed with the traditional book thing. First, it is is incredibly expensive to buy books in large print. Second, the eBooks are amazing. I can take my Kindle and make the print hugggggeeeee! Third, I love audiobooks! I listen to them when I’m baking, or doing chores, or walking, or working out! And, fourth, how does one go about learning Braille anyway? Is there a special computer for that?  Is it going to be available in any other format other than the printed one? Food for thought.

I’m sure I can enlist others to help me type up my books, but it is a different brain process. I talk about stuff all the time, but I create stuff with my fingers. Will the writing be different? Will I sound like all those little old self-help ladies, or will the story still come out in a strong voice? It will definitely be a transition, for sure.

For now, I’ll keep on writing, keep on telling my stories to my family, keeping the verbal tradition going – my son knows all my plots by heart. Thanks!

Seriously, folks. We all try to help each other as much as we can, but sometimes you just have to let it go. I try to lead my life the best way I know how. I am not responsible for all the world’s woes, only my own. I’ll always try to lend a hand, but sometimes, we just have to let it go! I can’t change it so don’t take it out on me. You are the only one who can change your life. When life gives you lemons and all that….

So, my mantra for this year:  No more drama!

Cheers!

P.S.: A must for writers: Read Hugh Howey’s latest post:  Data in the Form of Applause

Me Today:

1. Woman gets a nosebleed – blames me because I coughed near her — into my sleeve, not at her — she was in a locker room at a rec center;
2. Woman says too many typos in the first chapter of my book, so she couldn’t go any further. I found a few in Chapter 1, corrected them and re-uploaded;
3. Lots of snow and people who live here don’t know how to drive — still!
4. Can’t figure out Mobi – again to update the ebook – but I’m still working on it;
5. Lots and lots of notes and reorganizing but nothing forward in the second book;
6. Worries about sales on first book.

World Today: 

Kid sets himself on fire at a high school in Colorado — severely burned — My problems seem soooooo small compared to that burned kid. Sad, huh?

“The only wrong system of writing is to not write.”—Hugh Howey

IMHO:

Read this comment every day. But, guys… get real…. Women do worry about all those little tasks – walking the dogs, doing the laundry, vacuuming, cooking, washing the dishes, homework – kids’ reports and posters, math, basketball games and swimming. We don’t have a staff (or a wife). The tasks call out our names, and rather loudly. So, I want to follow this advice, truly; I’ve driven to write, yes, but I have to make time. I do make time, but sometimes it’s only for two hours. And, I try not to worry about money, but sometimes I do. I wonder if people are buying. I wonder if people are reading it and loving it. I wonder if I’ll ever make a living off it. I love the stories I create, but….

I know I’ll keep writing. I’ll find the time… no… make the time to create every day. Some writing days will whiz by and I’ll look up and see the day has drifted by. Other days, I’ll squeak in as much as I can, but the story will move on. And the new story is a doozy – an evolving beautiful mess right now.

So, I’ll try not to worry about my stats, ranking, money, or other peoples’ stats, ranking and money or really poor works that make more than me (Huge sigh). I’ll keep moving forward. I’ll focus on the new story. After all, it’s a new year and that’s where my head should be. And, it should always be a lot more fun to create something new. The old book is old news. So get on with it! (Okay, so look at all that stat stuff once a week – no more!)

Focus on the blog. Focus on the words. Focus on the gory details. (That’s my new mantra.) Stamp that huge time stamp for the completion date inside your head. But don’t stress about it – if you don’t make the deadline. Get it right, don’t rush. Do many, many rewrites. Just keep writing!

Keep having reunions with old friends and learn something new. Make new friends. Keep the thoughts alive! Write!

But, when things get in the way… here are a few cool quotes to think about:

Jose N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love:

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.  Forget the bad, and focus on the good.

Love the people who treat you right, ignore the ones who don’t.

Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

Chris Hardwick, The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)

Regarding: News media focusing on everything bad that happens:

“It is…entirely your responsibility to make yourself feel better. No one is going to do it for you…. Look for good news.” Check out this site each day: http://www.happynews.com/

“You have the power to choose what you notice.”

 “Open the drapes in your brain and let the light in.”

“Shape your reality….Find the good news and what motivates you and inspires you….You are not a helpless victim of your emotions.”

 Thanks guys.

Yes I finally got a review on the my new novel. Thanks, guys. Need more, though. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you think.

Now for today’s thoughts:

You know you’ve come a long way when your research leads you to Home Depot to look at tools that could cut someone up. In my new book my very bad guy has to have a tool that he can carry in a backpack while hiking deep into the Grand Canyon. I’ve also called doctors to find out about poisons from plant material. I’ve gone back through all my old notes from interviews with real killers to understand their minds and what would lead up to a spree killing. I’m giving myself nightmares. I’ve researched the areas where I want the story to happen. I’ve written tons of notes and have a crazy outline and an even crazier beginning (compared to the first mystery in this series and the non-fiction book which had a detailed outline, story plot and were researched to the nth degree. So the questions I pose to other writers are:

How real should it be? Do readers want all the sordid details that are in my head? How much information is enough before it is overload? When will a reader stop reading? When do they want to figure it out for themselves. What’s the fine line?

How plausible should it be? When does a reader simply stop reading the story because it is poorly researched and is just not believable?

Mystery readers want certain things to happen. So, I’m searching for all those things in other mysteries which I love to read. I’ve found that I love all the little details. I love the depth of the characters’ psyches. I love the surprise—but not too much surprise. And, I love the wrap up. No, not like on a TV series, but actually solving the current case. There can still be unanswered questions that will lead to the next book in a series, but it’s nice to have an ending, and hopefully, one where the good guy wins.

So, dear readers, give me some clues. What is it that you want to read in mystery novels? I’m very curious. It may not completely change the way I write—some things are ingrained, but I will always research your comments, and what is really interesting to the population out there. Who knows where that path will lead?

Thanks and Happy New Year everyone.